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A Narcissist’s Pathological Envy: Why They Sabotage Us and Why They Have to Win
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VALUABLE video.Thank you.
Does this explains why my ex narcissist didn't come to my college graduation…and act as if it wasn't a big deal I honestly couldn't even enjoy that day because I was that hurt that he didn't come…I was literally in tears
This is one of the best narc-themed videos I've seen. Thanks for saying this so succinctly.
You summed them up PERFECTLY. My narc x family is precisely like this; demanding that I "stop painting", telling me "no one cares about your stupid paintings" etc.My narc x Dad even went so far as to tell me I should commit suicide! while telling me my art is useless…(that jealous asshole! That's the last conversation we ever had. He & the rest of my narc x family are all FIRED now for 6 years. Good Riddance.I don't miss them or their lame attempted admonishments 1 bloody bit.) MEANWHILE,I've been painting professionally for 32 years! LOL
Narcs are TOTALLY petty, jealous, infantile in their behavior &, more often than not, quite unremarkable. The phrase "Much ado about nothing'' comes to mind when summing up the capabilities of the narcissist. Very surface & shallow. Empty parasitic husks of little actual substance: shaped like humans. They're in a perpetual state of WANT: Pathetic, walking voids in never-ending existential vacuum.
Bye the way, there's 10 dislikes for this video-so I take it 10 narcissists watched it -lol!
Narcissism is on the rise, especially in the US and Canada. I've learned to simply ignore them and focus my attention elsewhere once properly identified. They want to see your reaction by their nasty comments, and if you have the strength and willpower to act as though it was only the wind blowing, they will eventually go away as though blown away by the wind.
"I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy, because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low… Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me… to me…" Pro Tip: Learn to accept where the wind doth blow
I had to give a talk one time. I was very nervous about it and asked a "friend" to come and sit in the audience where i could see her for moral support. But i noticed during the talk that she wasn't there. It really threw me off. Afterwards i asked where she was. She told me she got into a conversation with someone in the hallway instead. I was furious- and she could see that i was upset. And heres the real kicker: she SMILED. It made her DELIGHTED her that i was upset. In one move she had devalued what i had done- and brought the focus back to herself & her importance. I should have told her to f- off right then and there but i didn't know what narcissism was. Oh if i could go back in time!
I know too many people like this. I feel like I have to hide my new phone or my car around them because they'll have to get something better just to rub it in my face even though I bought these things for me not to show off. It's just sick.
Thank you for a great video. It's as if you knew my abuse boss. You really got my attention with the "make you lose sleep" tactic that narcissists use. Now I understand why she created an emotional maelstrom the day before I was scheduled to present at a major conference.
I have been married to an N for 30 years. You explain it beautifully. Only after 17 years of verbal abuse did I find out about narcissism. I educated myself through books, counseling, underground groups etc. I have learned to detach to a degree. My pain is that I have 3 daughters in their late 20's that have been affected in different ways. I feared his rath. Always escalating and one using.
What a beautiful, smart and wise young woman. Thank you sweetheart. I just broke up with a Narcissistic man, and he was exactly the way you describe it in this video, it was a mind boggling experience for me. I really believe Narcissism stems from sever inferiority complex….
i used to be jealous 20 years ago and then i leaned that he will leave me if he wants to. But, now, 20 years later i realise jealousy is a waste of time. Narcs never grow up. is it peter pan syndrome?
I think over half the people I know are narcissistic. Wow
thank you for your depth and knowledge. This describes my life for the past ten years. My ex ( the mother of my child) has done everything to destroy me…including litigation abuse, and alienating me from my daughter..I have been denied any contact with my child for 2 years, but have been fighting this in court the whole time. it is a nightmare.With Father's Day coming up, I am having an extremely hard time coping with the wait, as the wheels of justice turn slowly. Do you have any advice for Target Parents from a Narcissistic relationship? I really need some advice…
Thank you so much for this video. You talk about another aspect of my relationship with my husband. I was starting to believe him, that I was an awful person.
I personally think if you a decent human being, no one wants to see another in pain but we need to protect ourselves from anyone who harms us, So get rid fast or they will bring you down in any which way.
nice video, thank you!
in my life I was the last male child 5 children total. my closest brother was 13 years my senior had a lot of drug and alcohol issues as he went through his teens and twenties. for a while he straightened up his act and became an RN which inspired me to look into Medical professions. when he was sober I admired him and he was truly a skilled nurse. but when I decided to go to medical school it absolutely blew his mind. in some kind of departure he basically threw his life up in the air abandoning his wife hand young child to return to drugs and alcohol after 9 years of sobriety. obviously this did great damage to my Focus in college but I still performed very well took the MCAT and was on the brink of acceptance. my Elder Brothers desperation as you say pathologic envy grew to the point that he entered a treatment program that was practically on the campus of my college. then for about a month he acted out an unbelievable ways that always resulted in me being distracted from my academic goals. knowing who he was in treatment allowed me to refocus on school work at home and just as I buckle down to make up for all the distractions he had been causing in the treatment program at campus, which was also very humiliating to me and not something you would want your academic mentors to be witnessing on a regular basis at campus. culminated in a bizarre and traumatic situation where I entered a 7-Eleven store near my home to find my brother had left treatment gotten utterly wasted and in a altercation in the store property damages were immense because the lottery machines and displays all fell over and were destroyed. the timing could not have been accidental I went there every night at about the same time and he knew it. I was left to deal with the police as he locked himself in the bathroom completely obliterated from drugs and alcohol. I watched as they broke the door down and maced him in the face. back to jail again after a DUI. And then two years of prison right when I should have been in medical school he place the burden on me to maintain his home by renting it keeping his business licensing and insurance active as well as sending him money while he was in prison I did this out of love. this man got out of prison and within a year or so both my parents were dead I believe from a broken heart from seeing him so screwed up then straightening his life out for 9 years only to throw it away again. always diagnosed as an alcoholic, I believe the truth is closer to the condition you described in this video. by the way while he was in prison I did graduate with great grades especially at the end butt leaned away from the medical professions as three of my siblings were nurses and several of them had to leave the profession because of drug issues. all were doing ok until I told them I was going to be a doctor. it's like they all threw it away because they knew I would be a great doctor. amazing.
This video made me feel a lot better, and clearer on certain situations, and maybe certain people that I should stay away from. Thanks.
I've been sensing envy, from certain people more often lately. which I'm not used to at all, so it feels kind of awkward to me, I'm a musician, and a lot of it has been targetted against that aspect of myself, I feel like they may be envious of me does that make me narcissistic?
I cut the cord with my Narc friend two days ago. She immediately went and hacked an account of mine and when I provided her with the evidence it was her (she linked it to her phone number so when I tried to reset the password it wouldn't take my phone number, but it would take hers) she kept lying, denying it, gaslighting me, insulting me etc. Glad to have her out of my life she was putting me down for so long and I thought she was trying to give "tough love" so ignored it. I also couldn't take the hypocrisy of her telling me how to live my life all the time and every conversation nearly turned into a "well I wouldn't do that" or "I would do it this way" or "you shouldn't" etc. Just couldn't take it anymore. But yeah her petty revenge was hacking an account of mine. And then denying it like a true coward. Woop dee doo 😀 Lesson learnt …. when you get that strong feeling of intuition screaming saying "something's wrong here" LISTEN TO IT!
my mother did this often it was horrible
my narc dad always tells me that i should'nt only think about myself and when i dis agree with him he will bring up all the things he has paid for and done and calls me un gratefull. and he tells me that some people don't wanna see me doing better than them then talks bad about anyone other than his family that i interact with
ive delt with a couple of full blown narciscissts in my life. without educating myself i would be a shuffling shell of a man. learn about these evil aliens and cut them out!
Great points and very well articulated. Thanks!
My sister to the T. She hates when my family helps me with stuff. like my grandfather gave me a car when she got her car bought right when he got his taxes but when he fixed up my mom old Monte Carlo she got pissed. So I just got my new apartment and she moved in with me inhad an interview she was here with her car thisnwas before my grandfather gave me the car.. and so I told her the time of my interview I told her the night before and the morning of. So she gets up 15 minutes before and slowly gets ready I was waiting in her car for like 10 minutes she comes out and we was 15 minutes late the manager straight up told me i didnt get the job. I know she made me late on purpose. anyway back when I had my bf around her when I lived at home they were both narcs. They played mind games with me to the point he made me think they had sex. I think they did but didn't tell me I accused my sister so much that my parents kicked me and him out but His narc anitics continued. he blames me for everything. he calls me from jail telling me that I'm not good enough or I need to change this about myself. and yes neither of them have ever been happy for any of my successes. but I'm very happy that I don't have either of them in my life anymore and yes I believe my sister envied me and his relationship because she has a bf right now and she does the same shit to her bf that my bf did to me. and it's messed up but like I said I got them out of my life now and that's what I should dwell on focusing on moving forward for my kids.
My sister to the T. She hates when my family helps me with stuff. like my grandfather gave me a car when she got her car bought right when he got his taxes but when he fixed up my mom old Monte Carlo she got pissed. So I just got my new apartment and she moved in with me inhad an interview she was here with her car thisnwas before my grandfather gave me the car.. and so I told her the time of my interview I told her the night before and the morning of. So she gets up 15 minutes before and slowly gets ready I was waiting in her car for like 10 minutes she comes out and we was 15 minutes late the manager straight up told me i didnt get the job. I know she made me late on purpose. anyway back when I had my bf around her when I lived at home they were both narcs. They played mind games with me to the point he made me think they had sex. I think they did but didn't tell me I accused my sister so much that my parents kicked me and him out but His narc anitics continued. he blames me for everything. he calls me from jail telling me that I'm not good enough or I need to change this about myself. and yes neither of them have ever been happy for any of my successes. but I'm very happy that I don't have either of them in my life anymore and yes I believe my sister envied me and his relationship because she has a bf right now and she does the same shit to her bf that my bf did to me. and it's messed up but like I said I got them out of my life now and that's what I should dwell on focusing on moving forward for my kids.
My sister to the T. She hates when my family helps me with stuff. like my grandfather gave me a car when she got her car bought right when he got his taxes but when he fixed up my mom old Monte Carlo she got pissed. So I just got my new apartment and she moved in with me inhad an interview she was here with her car thisnwas before my grandfather gave me the car.. and so I told her the time of my interview I told her the night before and the morning of. So she gets up 15 minutes before and slowly gets ready I was waiting in her car for like 10 minutes she comes out and we was 15 minutes late the manager straight up told me i didnt get the job. I know she made me late on purpose. anyway back when I had my bf around her when I lived at home they were both narcs. They played mind games with me to the point he made me think they had sex. I think they did but didn't tell me I accused my sister so much that my parents kicked me and him out but His narc anitics continued. he blames me for everything. he calls me from jail telling me that I'm not good enough or I need to change this about myself. and yes neither of them have ever been happy for any of my successes. but I'm very happy that I don't have either of them in my life anymore and yes I believe my sister envied me and his relationship because she has a bf right now and she does the same shit to her bf that my bf did to me. and it's messed up but like I said I got them out of my life now and that's what I should dwell on focusing on moving forward for my kids.
Just recently I had a vendor event on Mother's Day. The guy I was seeing asked me and my children to visit so I planned the trip and traveled to see him and friends. Well while there he couldn't have made us feel more unwelcome, I was confused why did he invite us?….I was in the discard pile and didnt even know. He actually refused to go with me to a distillery and by accident sent me a text do I want to go do something…..hello I'm already at the distillery?? I just recently weeks later discovered what happened. He kept asking us to extend the trip and he knew my work event was coming and I fell for it and missed my much needed business building opportunity. I feel mad and relieved as I watch your videos. I was confused and felt very rejected but now I think the poor soul he had on the side and now is his main focus has it worse!
Wow, so well spoken! I am just beginning to understand the toxic, narcissistic relationship with my sister. I feel truly comforted by your explanation, as well as, empowered with resolve to disconnect and heal. Thank you so very much. You are a beautiful jewel!
Recently had a relatively new female friend reveal herself as a narcissist. After seeming very close with me (though I could sense her desire to be 'dominant'), I got resolutely thrown under the bus in front of our group of friends. It was very painful and an enormous shock but I am glad I have figured it out quickly. Wondering what the others felt about it as her actions completely opposed what her false sense 'presents'. Best to know! Shall remember it is her envy and go 'grey rock'.Thanks!