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How do I Go Gray Rock When My Narcissist Ex Keeps Provoking Me? Episode 1 “Ask a Question” Show
Hi. God loves You. Peace, man. Revealed; The Truth about
God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit: Revelation 2:17, The Urantia Book, free,
online. Please share with everyone, (without
a doubt or Prejudice, Our only True Holy Grail), @AntonKnebenson @GAC8717
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know the Truth about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, ( The Urantia Book,
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Archangel Michael J. Christ, His Trusted Angels, and the Holy Spirit ).A prayer
and Blessing for all Good Loving Believers who Wish to share the Truth about
Jesus, The Son of God and the Holy Spirit:
For all the Children who are Ruined by shame
Mirror child
The image of a precious dove
Dancing barefoot on the beach
Drinking in love and sunshine
full of smiles
never having to die.
Mere child
Dreaming awhile on a school title
Learning to carry books for miles.
Crayons, pencils, stencils
Nothing you need to do but
Sing and carry the wind on
Your wings.
Mirror child
Like daddy or mommy
Carrying so many burdens for
A little person
All the time
Not able
To catch the spies and
Spiders.
Go back to the skies,
Little dove
And play with the eagles who tamed this land
Until you are a spirit so good and pure
That you will truly guide the directions of our
Bloodied hands.
Temptations of Evil
Muscles of Clay,
Eyes of pitifully empty bliss,
Teeth of dragons never begotten,
You stand alone
Praying to brainless demons
Praising power empty
Of Spirit, Goodness
or Hope.
You shall reap no Glory
But only Mortal death and baptized Shame
So as to Die without Jesus
Or any Holy Name.
Stained by lust,
Broken tears and stardom,
Born of evil and deviltries
Ill conceived
Raise Your Heart to God
Jesus and The Holy
Spirit,
And He will Remove Your Pain,
Stop your foolish self destructive reign,
And bring you Spiritual Relief
You could never possibly or individually
Humanly gain.
To Have Peace, Love
And Eternal
Happiness and Justice
For All People,
Believe in Jesus,
The Son of Mary and God,
And You Will Be
Immortally Saved
For ever more,
And Be Loved By Our Holy Father God
For all Eternity.
What a wonderful, helpful video!! Thank you more than words can express!!!
Thank you so much for sharing your pain, experience and education! I thought I was the crazy one. after listening to you I realize it's not me. Now the healing can begin!!
Yup, they've got their "Game On" going. You have to get your "Game OFF".
My mother's been trying to start fights by claiming I "Use too much electricity" When I really don't. She's been generally trying to start these childish little fights over nothing, especially when she's playing her stupid pandapop game. Unfortunately I live with her, so I need to gray rock with her. She's still trying to insult me. Calling me an idiot when she's talking to my father etc.
They are not defining you they define them. Thank you. Oh you changed my whole out look in one sentence.
I like what you have to say…lots to think about. Thank you
"their" action causes?
So what is grey rock? I don't watch sports.. is it just not reacting to whatever it is they're doing? but realistically what do u do with the stress they're action causes?
Lol… He's been stalking my YouTube and keeps telling me "that lady you listen to is such a f***ing idiot" and it makes me laugh. Cuz he's the idiot.
, For what I remember the question about the romance of Ellen in the interview, http://www.dezintopdesentupidora.com.br/desentupidora-na-zona-norte.html the Oscar says something like "It can be a Droid" I think he was referring to the BB8 and not to Finn or Rey. So would find it cool if there was a relationship
How long have you been doing this? The way in which you talk is very calming.
Don't hand your enemy any ammunition that they could use on you. Answers to questions need to be grey and benign, and if you are daring gaslight them, it's a hoot.
Thank you. On the show Survivor, people engage in mock relationship situations because they're playing a game. With narcissists, it's as if their life is a reality game show that they're trying to win. Strategy, tactics, lying, underhanded blackmail…whatever. This "friend" always slandered mutual friends around me, and is undoubtedly doing so to them of me.
I'm trying to shake a narcissistic/host relationship of over 12 years. Basically, I didn't want to "stoop" to the level of perceiving everything as a mindgame myself, because I feel like it's degrading, even to narcissists as humans. However, I'm very sensitive and I don't see another way of managing the pain and keeping myself from lashing out. If I can make believe that this is a game as well, to drop off her radar, I can tactically evade her.
It feels awkward and wrong, but it's the best way to duck out her range, and away from her flying freaking monkies too.
If you want to make it too just use InpliX handbooks.
love u dana!!!
What does a co-dependent act like if they become NOT like their narcissistic parent?
I have had many narcissists in my life. My experiences with going "gray rock" only seemed to encourage them to try harder to push those buttons. For me, the most effective way to deal with situation was to anticipate the response, as you say in your sports analogy, that they were trying to elicit in advance then ensure that my response was just the opposite, yet carefully not to provoke anger or frustration that might escalate an undesirable situation. For me, this worked best when "no contact" was not an option. I do prefer "no contact" when it is a real option. Changing a narcissist's behavior, as you say, is impossible. This is probably the most difficult concept for most normal people to understand.Your comment, "Whatever they are saying to you does not define you, it defines them." This is a great statement! In that lies the answer that I have found to work best for me. You also often say, "People do what works." That is also very true!" If the response that they are trying to provoke is just the opposite of what they expect, then there will be nothing in it for them and they will pick an easier target. However, if not done carefully, it may result In narcissistic rage! Anyone who has experienced such a rage knows it must be avoided at all cost. No contact is always best and sometimes "gray rock" works. As long as an abuser knows that there is nothing in it for them, they no longer see you as a target.One common thread that I have seen in all the manipulators that I have known is that their source of "narcissistic supply" is always external to them. Thus, they had no power of their own. Once I stopped giving these people power over me, my life became much easier. However, the abuse simply continued with others, many times with those that I care about deeply. Hopefully, more and more people will get the message from your video series.
So when I tried going "gray rock" on my N, he clearly noticed and then had the nerve to say "I can tell that your interest in me is dwindled. I understand tho". This is after many silent treatments/hoovers over the last 7 months whilst he STILL is dating this married woman and he just play games. What purpose would he have to POINT OUT that he sees "my interest is dwindling"?? By dwindled interest….what it really is, I'm sick of the draining narc crap he is putting me thru to no end and I can see he no longer/never did love me so I have hit the final stage of losing hope.
Thanks. Going low contact only creates more drama and temper tantrums from my narcissist parent. I've decided to try gray rock. We live in the same town. My weight, parenting abilities are used to push my buttons along with boundary testing
What if you grew up with n parents & they've moved to the state your in??? They've now started on our 11yo son.
I just went to no-contact/grey rock. My ex is a ex-pro MMA fighter. His father, that he has no contact with, is a sociopath. He's a charming, animal-loving (except he lets his own starve), funny, and volunteers. Everyone loves him. He's made me feel crazy. Triangulation, gas lighting…hearing these words was an affirmation that I'm not crazy.
The Narcissist that I have been dealing with is someone that I thought was one of my best friends and we started working together in multilevel marketing business. She started to do everything in her power to take me down, creating drama amongst our people and the other groups working for that company and then blame it on me. I recognize practically all the red flags you have taught us about Dana in your videos in our relationship. People that I had not had any conflict with closed the door at me and went grey rock on me. All this caused me to have a nervous breakdown. I am now in recovery. So the relationships can be of all kinds, not only husband and wife. Thank you for your wonderful videos Dana, they are a great help! <3
I have never heard of "gray rock" before this video. I have always just deleted contact information, and walked away. I'll have to look into this strategy. I assume it's used with relationships you can not walk away from; divorce with children, authority figures, co-workers etc.
In an era where we teach everyone to blame their abuser's, and try to change them, it's refreshing to see a series teaching self responsibility. Teaching people they are in control of their actions, and responsible for not repeating these sames mistakes is incredibly empowering.
Thank you, I really needed this video
Hey all, I would like to be able to save videos from this series to a folder so I can easily refer back to it when needed but is unable to. Does anyone know why I can't?
I have personally found that the 'grey rock' criteria is almost perfect in its description . .although after the shitstorm and brilliant sex effects are probably hard to get over ( not unlike a normal relationship gone wrong ) but to have the strength to totally block out the original means of how all this happened ie phone calls/e/m's social media-dating sites etc . .is a good and positive place to start .BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK all you can . .you will find yourself bit by bit feeling liberated and back in your own skin . .my ex promised me the earth (in words only that I tried to believe at the time ) then disappeared off the radar almost as sudden as she walked into my life . .maybe a blessing in disguise ??
One of the major factors that has got me this far in the recovery process of dealing with a narcissist was/is to think of it like a game too. There is a reason why the coach stays off the field…to see the game. The more I found myself out on the field participating in his game the more my life was in chaos. The best thing I ever did was go low contact. I see him and his attempted manipulations from a much better perspective by keeping myself on the sideline. :)
PS. I'm not 100% over my ex-Narc yet (sometimes happy memories played back from time to time but now I learn that it was just a manipulation game, or even lies, this manifestation helps to bring me back to reality), now trying to cut him off my life & cut off my communication with him, I'm learning & trying & reminding myself of Dana's lessons everyday, "work in progress". Cross ur fingers for me, and sending strenght to everyone here, hang in there folks, we'll get through this together :-)
Yeah!! Best Revenge is detachment & live a good life!! Love this, thanks Dana. Look forward to learn more, keep up the good work.
Gray rocking will definitely irritate the crap out of them (commence silent treatment for DAYS). But even better than gray rocking? I landed the jackpot when I discovered today instead of moping or returning the silent treatment or acting wounded, I listened to music & danced around the house, I giggled w/ the kids, I kept myself very busy, smiled, truly felt joy inside my own bubble, just try it, just knowing it irks & stumps him puts a smile on my face:)
Wow. I was intuitively doing this but I thought I was being mean. I learned the technique dealing with my mom when I was growing up. I learned to not flinch so to speak. It's so draining though. Thank you for your videos. I'm letting go of him slowly but surely and I'm so ready to move on. Thanks for giving me hope. The end is in sight.
Question? How do you co parent with a narcissist? I am court ordered to co parent with the narcissist. If I do gray rock with my narc he goes to the authorities, court, or hurts the kids emotionally, to drag me back in. Please post a video about this if you can.Thank you
¨whatever they say about you does not define you … it defines them." …
I do try to do this….it takes ALL my energy sometimes! (NC is sometimes easier.)
But how is this different to bottling up response and feelings. which I had to do when I was a teen? Because I got very sick by doing that…
Sounds like an excellent strategy for repelling toxic people and bouncing them out of your life! Hindsight is always 20/20, but I wish I knew all of this in dealing with certain others in my past.
I wish I was able to identify the signs of this narcissit. It was only after my devalue and discard that I truly understood what I was married to for the past almost six years. Thank you for helping me heal.
I would just ignore what they said and know they are not mentally/emotionally healthy. Just feel sorry for them and don't take it personally.
Not every relationship is marital…a friend of mine is an abused employee and until a new job is found is stuck working with a couple narcs. I am passing on what I am learning…thanks, and maybe this is a topic to address.
I found out the following when I was close to a nervous breakdown from gaslighting;
You proberly know the screaming tone you get from a microphone/loudspeaker setup when the microphone gets near the loudspeaker. It's called a feedback loop and it explains why victims of a narcissist needs to distance themselves. Especially emotional.
The narcissist learned to amplify emotions (for looting and attention) by starting a feedback loop on basic emotions in others, such as help, love etc. and when the "victim" unplugs from the specific targetted emotional band then the amplification is over. Simply put: think of something else or pretend to listen when they talk. It puts you outside of the trap they are preparing.