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Inverted Narcissist (Narcissist Codependent)
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I am a serial "victim" of toxic women. Am I a Co-dependent? Yes… or am I? You talk about inverted Narcissists but, based on the work I have done on myself and journey of self discovery, I have concluded that we are actually diametrically opposite to Narcissist – We are Malignant self haters.
This is really fucked up and i tought the narcissists was the most crazy ones.
I became codependant to marijuana..brainwashedd by a covert narc..I am in no way a codependant invert…After i got my head together i went in to a rage/wanting to fight this person…Of course..I know i am not perfect…I am no re evaluating my other relationships.. occult actually..severe depression. numbness..
Ah this is scary
You mean Ahab and Jeezabel
I think my ex is a covert narcissist who automatically submits to those she wants to love her and lives through them, but in time she can't keep the masquerade going. She resents them for controlling her, not allowing her to be herself, even if they did nothing to foster that behavior as it's her own doing. She expects to be abused or taken advantage of, guilted, so she never fully gives herself. Has abandonment issues and parental issues (although both parents are still together).
Yes, that last line is haunting. Incredible. Genious.
Very interesting and helpful. I happen to know 2 girls that are just friends and room together and one of them is the primary narcissist and the other is her little minion, the inverted narcissist. So glad that I unfriended the both of them when I realized what they were all about!
I think I'm an Inverted Narcissist. I fit all descriptions… And right at this moment I badly crave a girl that I know 100% that she's a normal narcissist and toxic to me. And I also do those things with self-sacrifice. I tried to stop this and stop helping this girl, but she still comes to me for help. I even tried to get away from her, but somehow we keep meeting at business events. How can I stop being codependent?
I'm dating a younger women who's mother is from what I can see is a narcissists , she has a older brother who has learning disabilities , the brother can do no wrong , while my girlfriend is the scapegoat. It's been a few months and I am starting to see horrible patterns , my girlfriend is always complaining about how she is treated like shit , but she does nothing to change it. I asked her what is the longest you have been away from your mother and she said never more than a few hours . I thought this was strange , since she's an adult and living in the bay area . Her mother doesn't encourage her to do anything on her own, she depends on her mother to do everything . I cannot stand to see anyone be held down or treated unfairly , so when I think we are moving forward two steps it seems her mother pushes her back to the beginning.
Thank you for this video. It shed some light on what I have to do to become a better person. I am working very hard to break my life pattern. This informative video really touched on a lot of what I find challenging in my life. Thankfully I found this video at the right time of my self improvement. This will help me get to the next level!
@jjazeraca These may be of help – click on the links:
The Narcissist's Victims
http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq38.html
Victim Reactions to Abuse by Narcissists and Psychopaths
http://vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders70.html
Mourning the Narcissist
http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq68.html
The Three Forms of Closure
http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse17.html
Back to La-la Land
http://vaksam.tripod.com/journal78.html
The Spouse/Mate/Partner of the Narcissist
http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq6.html
Divorcing the Narcissist and the Narcissistic Psychopath – How Do I Get Rid
of Him?
http://vaksam.tripod.com/5.html
Traumas as Social Interactions
http://vaksam.tripod.com/trauma.html
How Victims are Affected by Abuse
http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily21.html
How Victims are Affected by Abuse – Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily22.html
How Victims are Affected by Abuse – Recovery and Healing
http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily23.html
Rescue Fantasies – Surviving the Narcissist
http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq80.html
The Malignant Optimism of the Abused
http://vaksam.tripod.com/journal27.html
The Inverted Narcissist – Codependence and Relationships with Abusive
Narcissists
http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq66.html
Codependence and the Dependent Personality Disorder
http://vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders22.html
The Dependent Patient – A Case Study
http://vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders56.html
Danse Macabre – Trauma bonding and the Stockholm Syndrome
http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily.html
The Cult of the Narcissist
http://vaksam.tripod.com/journal79.html
Narcissists and Personality disordered Mates, Spouses, and Partners
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5013
Projection and Projective Identification – Abuser in Denial
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5002
Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5000
Guilt? What guilt?
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4931
Narcissists, psychopaths, sex, and marital fidelity
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4920
The Narcissist or Psychopath Hates your Independence and Personal Autonomy
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4959
I miss him so much – I want him back!
https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4934
Participate in discussions about Abusive Relationships – click on these
links:
https://plus.google.com/communities/116582645889927140499
http://www.runboard.com/bnarcissisticabuserecovery
http://thepsychopath.freeforums.org/
The Narcissistic Abuse Study List
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/
The Toxic Relationships Study List
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/toxicrelationships
Abusive Relationships Newsletter
http://groups.google.com/group/narcissisticabuse/
My mother was a narcissit. My ex was a sadistic socio. I have chosen 3 partners in my life. Now I watch this and realize much of it explains why I have gravitated toward narcs. ( Is there something in between. I dont fit every criterian. )
Thank you for this video. I have always been an inverted narcissist. This is almost completely accurate to me. I found strength here so thank you for taking the time to shed light on a complicated topic.
This sounds partially familiar
OK. Now I am extremely confused. Does an inverted narcissist suffer from narcissism or form codependency? Which one is it? Are they codependent or are they narcissist?
This was a slap to the face. I knew I was codependent but I didn't know to what extent. This explains so much. Now I have to figure out what to do with this info and how to change things. Thank you for this information.
some of this (and other relationship focussed videos in this series) remind me of "traditional" sex roles and personality. Ironically, though some Christian family "experts" promote these, they are not biblical but add up to baptized sin! verses are yanked out of context and "a verse without a context is a pretext" someone once said.
I am deff an inverted Narc, my husband is a Cerebral Narc( who has ignored me for months with no communication). He is my 3rd Narc husband but the worst by far. It's not good at all. I thought that I just had co dependent tendencies. I am also an INFJ which is 1% of the population, wonder if that plays any part in it? It helps to learn about this subject in order to deal with it. TY.
One friend of my ex literally started having meltdowns when he found out that she was dating someone new. He started sending her guilt-provoking texts claiming that his world is "blackening" out. It was frustrating, confusing, and heartbreaking to see my ex run to attend to him. I felt utterly ignored, rejected, devalued, and abandoned. No one has disappointed and shocked me so much before. The good thing is I know better for the future, if I can ever learn to trust again.
I agree. To add to your comment, my experience with the ex N taught me that some of the "close friends" of the N can also be inverted narcissists. So it is a good idea to watch out for any co-dependent narcissistic friendships that your partner might have.
Eye openning! How could I be so nieve!
Sam Vaknin saved my life back in 2004 with his information he posted over the internet….It has been 9 years since I divorced the ex NP after 23 years of marriage or shall I say hell…I am still healing and my life is so much healthier…I lost all material things that I thought were important and found what is….ME….Thank you Sam Vaknin
OMG…It's me. :/
most of it anyways. i help people in secret too, not in full view because i believe God does not reward me if it's out in the open.
scary…i think that's me
Watch out for ex girlfriends/partners who are inverted narcissist & still linger in your partner's life. She is the worse ex girlfriend/partner you could ever imagine. She will play her old patterns to get leverage into his life & whenever you make progress to have him make positive change she will feed his supply & knock down any efforts you have made in one blow- from night to day, and the narcissist will run to her cause she is totally dependent on him to live her life- she is possesive.
So many years of wondering what was wrong, only to discover EXACTLY what is wrong with me here.. This is amazing! Thank you very much for this!
It hurts to see one's mother abused.
Mmm … interesting…. think I need to listen to this one again.
Oh my goodness, this video describes me to a tee. My father was a classical narcissist, and my mother died when I was 15, at which point I was raised exclusively by him. I think I have a few (one is too many!) classically narcissistic traits that I picked up from him, but I also resonate a lot with this video. Is there a treatment for this, or am I a lost cause?
Anytime!
I moved 5,000 miles away from my parents almost 30 years ago…that helped a lot too.I choose to not be a part of their lives unless they treat me with respect which has begun to happen recently now that my dad is older. He is still abusive to my mother but she chooses to stay with him (she chooses his side out of fear). Over the years I've learned to forgive my parents and I do love them…but I do not let their actions affect me anymore. Thanks again for sharing with me:)
As bad as it was, I've come to realize it is survivable. One of the best things I've done for myself is to stop giving him 'free rent' in my head. He's still an ass, but has little impact on my life anymore.
Thanks for letting me know that I am not alone in my traumatic childhood experiences. Sorry your dad was an ass too:( And yes, I can laugh at some of the things my dad used to say and do when I was a kid.
That sounds like my father's 'I'm the lion and this is my pride' BS. He was abusive, and played the the tough guy, but it was like watching Woody Allen impersonate Schwartzenegger. As traumatic as it was, it was pretty pathetic. I can laugh at some of it now.
She sounds like an extreame version of the traditional little wife! Abusive men have cult leader type ways of keeping people, they are clever and desperate. Many victims of these people just can't see a way out.
My dad once told me that he was the king of his castle & I was his property. He saw us kids as objects that he could do whatever he wanted to do to us. His dad was an alcoholic but amazingly my grandpa treated me much better than my own dad did, he was older then too. My grandpa (who I lived with for 2 yrs) used to tell me stories about how abusive his dad was to him (my greatgrandpa). Yes, it is so true that the abuse travels down through the family tree sadly. It has stopped with me for sure!