The Narcissist Needs Pity from anyone that will listen. Often this is at your expense. For some reason that I’ve not totally figured out yet, the Narc must have the …
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Narcissist Needs Pity
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I have been watching your videos about narcissism for a few years now and I just want you to know that you do a great job. I really like how you explain things. If I close my eyes, it's almost like you are sitting across the kitchen table from me. Thank you for all that you say… I am sure you have helped more people than you will ever know!
Narcissism is so evil and insidious. Creating a golden child to continue on their cruel sick legacy.
When my narc mother gets called out for some lie or mistreatment she's done she falls back on "I lost my husband five years ago" often accompanied by fake crying and "my son committed suicide" That son was my brother who was in a nasty legal situation my mom could have well afforded to get him a lawyer to fight but she didn't. Also when the newspaper reported his body being found in the woods they called him a "homeless man" This so enraged her she called the paper to bawl them out. He was living at the Salvation Army, to her that's not homeless, it is to me. One time after hearing this for the umpteenth time, I told her "Mom! You do not have a monopoly on pain in this life!"
"get the hell away. stay the hell away" lol. i agree. why visit cancer again?
Thank you again ♥
not crude at all you rock ty.
I believe in our younger years it was called megalomaniac.. were the same age group, u are right..we never heard tue word narcissists
you look like Benjamin Netanyahu.. wow
With all the maltreatment, I still love my parents and wish them happiness and peace as they age. It's hard dealing with the memories. The few times I saw glimpses of a loving parent/human. I remember how they smiled when they were genuinely happy. The scapegoat has the impossible burden of compassion. The scapegoat loses both a family and grappling with the grief. Meanwhile they would, if it really came down to it, rather see me dead than successful. The pain the narcissist parents inflict upon the scapegoat is all encompassing and insurmountable.
Well I'm in my 30's and did not know what narcissism was until 3months ago… They should teach this in school!!!!! Thank god for pinterest, youtube etc
"what the hell is going on? this has to be something, otherwise it's not normal" i remember the day i said this to myself after months and months of trying to change myself but still being told i had issues…… i had never been told that by any of my ex's , even the one i dated for 7 years. Years later, i discovered that my seemingly nice, humble husband is actually a covert narcissist, always acting the victim and projecting all the faults to me. Now i know what it is and all i feel is pity for him. Thanks for your wonderful videos, there is nothing better than hearing it from someone who has experienced it.
Why would a parent want to hurt and destroy their own child? Oh, I see. It's just like a person addicted to heroine. They know it's wrong, but the must have it to survive. Is that correct? And I absoloutely agree with you, they know exactly what they are doing!!!!!
Thank you so much for these videos.. my father is a narcissist – alcoholic- abusive personality.. It is horrible growing up with a narcissistic parent, thank god my mother was normal.. although a bit co-dependent…
My mother would have me strip naked, if I didn't, I would get beat with the dog leash, when I was a little girl. Her husband, who really became my primary caregiver, molested me when I was little and as an adult, I really had suspicions my mother not only knew, but he would tell her afterwards. I believe she got off on it.
Someone finally said it, they know what they are doing! I agree totally. Thank you so much for sharing what you know. You have helped me more than you will ever know. Understanding what I'm up against has changed my life. I feel empowered, and I've never felt that in my life before now. I have learned, and am still learning so much from your videos. Thank God for your videos!!! How long have you been working on understanding people like your mother??
I knew that something was up and thanks to you I can put a name to it
Experience is often more valuable than education. I had a 5 year relationship with a Narc.
Alcoholism/Hoarding/O.C.D. passed down thru the family. It took that long to figure it out.
If I had seen these productions I would have been much farther in my recovery process.
Thank you for having the foresight to open the "can of worms" as you are appreciated . :-)
Yes, but you are a MAN!!!!!!!!!!!
Love your haircut, really suits you!!!…..wish I had a Father like you……you are a MAN!!!!
Ive noticed with my mother lately she has become worse, her perfect world is crumbling. She has had cancer and Ive had cancer twice very recently. I think it's unbearable for her to see this happening. She is acting weird, my sister says that she reckons she has alzheimer's! I honestly don't think it is. She is so vague, doesn't remember anything. I think she is so consumed with her thoughts, she is just not coping. Some days she is better than others. I have noticed this has been a progression of her vagueness for a long time. In my mothers case I honestly dont think she knows what she is doing now. Its become such a habit her narcissistic behaviour. She has become inappropriate, judging my granddaughter as being fat and she is 6, she even put her hand on her tummy and said what is this! Gee! Im very protective of my granddaughter. She is so much more critical than ever. It's like she has no judgement now and her thoughts are coming out inappropriately. She tells me to fix my hair, put on lipstick, adjusts my clothing for me. And this is constant every time nearly that I see her. She wont listen. I stand up to her and politely say Im fine just the way I am. So my point is do they know exactly what they are doing? Im confused about this. My mums perfectionism is so to the enth degree that when she buys new glassware and the little sticky stickers that are on each glass. She never removes them. I asked her one day and said why do you still leave them on? She said Oh probably because I still want them to look new! Far out that is extreme. I think my mum is neurotic too with the narcissism. My family drive me nuts. Im over them.
Sounds just like my father l can never be any good.
Even saw my mother once, we were at my grandparents house and her cousin who was a bit of a trainwreck, announced her third marraige was over and MY MOTHER, threw herself down on the floor, screaming and rolling around making a complete fool of herself, my father even was embarrassed and all I can think is that she did not want the attention on anyone else! It was a very strange thing to see at 11. Also when the family blowups were happening, before I said no more, she would even lie to get everyone else in the room on herside, she would put on a huge tantrum, screaming at the top of her lungs, saying how she was so unappreciated as a mother bla bla. She could not accept and never admit she could ever be wrong, never said sorry no matter how bad her behaviour had hurt others
thank you so much! IM scared. my wife's a narc and nobody else knows. i
I believe they know what they're doing, but they do not feel what they do is wrong. I still do not know if my mother truly knows what she does is wrong, because I know she justifies her actions. I just had to cut ties completely with my 70 yr old pain pill addicted mother. Every single day it was a text about how she didn't have money for bills, not enough pills to make it through the month, how much pain she was in, despite seeing her pick up heavy things around her house. A text about how she was hungry but no food in her house, she doesn't own a car, doesn't have much because in her life she always lived off her children, never saved money so she lived on her ssi. She lives 30 min from me, and expects me to up and drive over there to give her what she needs, instead of being independant, which she is and has been capable of doing. I was no contact for 3 years because she was giving my 15 yr old son weed, and letting him stay over at her place and party with his friends, so I cut ties. My sister who lives in another state convinced me to reconnect because she was in such need, but was too humble to ask for help. Biggest mistake I ever made. This woman never took care of me after the age of 11 years old, she was in and out of my life and NEVER got a job and provided a home for me, she wandered from place to place for herself but never got a job, sucked off welfare because I was under 18, but I rarely ever saw her. Anyway, now she is alone and living beyond her means, never wants to take advice offered to get help for herself, but instead depends on me and sends passive aggressive messages to guilt me into helping her, or telling me how no one ever visits her. Im dealing with guilt of cutting her out of my life for good. I shouldn't feel like guilt but I do and im trying to learn how to NOT feel it.
Don't know if you still read comments, but you say you've studied it a lot. Any books you would recommend to a newbie?
Yes, I knew what was happening wasn't normal but didn't quite know until a friend sent a reddit link to me about narcissists.
BTW, I and others find your videos very helpful so thank you. They are some of the best I've seen yet. Even though my situation was different, a lot of things ring true and it's comforting to know that it wasn't just me. Hope you have found peace. It will probably be a while for me as I have just learned about all of this and gone NC. Hopefully I won't give in, but it is very hard for me to go forever without speaking. :/
I really appreciate and respect you for sharing your story and for your immense generosity imparting your wisdom. I have watched a number of your videos and even after quite a bit of therapy have not quite been able to articulate the damage inflicted on me by my mother until now. Thank you.
if my bf does something mean to me, and i talk about it to my friends, is that being narcissistic.
I'll be in danger telling here
I wish I could talk to you in private….. I'll beterschap in danger telling here
Your videos are very successful because you come across as genuine. You're like the friend with good advice. Like the concerned dad many of us wish we had. Your videos are also empowering, not because you overwhelm or command, but because you emote. You show empathy. Many youtubers make videos because they love seeing and hearing themselves. But I think in this particular community, people make videos to transfer their feelings from themselves to something else. You mentioned that for you, making these videos is like journaling, Good for you. Please know that your youtube journaling is helping a lot of people, including myself. Keep it up!! And Thank You!
I'm about your age and just learned about narcissism thru study of the subject of mental illness in mothers. It was an aha moment.
They're the closest thing to evil in this world.
I'm a Borderline Narcissist who is getting seriously pissed off with all you Internet Narc Finder Generals. I hope you realise that this is an American phenomenon. The World wouldn't function without us.
My Narc I can without doubt for the last 7 yrs has and is an emotional cannibalistic narc/sociopath . . He has fed on every emotion I have .. FEED is exactly what they do .. Thanks for vidoes
I just wanted to say… thank you. I have watched many of your videos and your it has helped me to identify what was going on in my life.I have been in an a frustrating abusive relationship where she seems like this innocent person who can do no wrong. Then she tells me all the things that makes me mentally ill, where really it is what is wrong with her. I can call her on it, but she is too skilled in manipulation that you cannot convince them that their is anything wrong with them. They have mostly everyone fooled into thinking that they are this sweet, do-no-wrong individual and then spread the word that you are mentally ill and cant take care of yourself. She calls my family members to tell them that they are concerned about my mental well-being to plant the seed… she has everything figured out.. every argument… she has planned out. I have kids with one… she has everything figured out and will take every opportunity to control me. She uses the kids to control me. I made the mistake of trying to get her to see the error of her ways, but they have no emotions. It is pointless. She used everything I said against me to gain an advantage against me so she can feel more superior over me and control me. Don`t get me wrong, I am a smart individual. I have excelled in what I do and am no dummy, but to a skilled narcissist, you are just a source of supply and they will say or do anything to get what they want. It makes me want to puke. I have so much empathy and they feel nothing, it makes me want to rage.
thank you this helps
I had a mother and step father..both…teenage was worse…escaped never had contact…..felt too dangerous
This video spoke to me today.Thank you and I wish YOU peace,brother.Big internet hug from your boy,Jacks!