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Red Flag of a Narcissist #22: Questionable Sexual Behavior/Cheating
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My Narc would shave his mound and junk occasionally. When I ask why He would admit 'It's because you like it, I'm doing it for you". He had already admitted to me early in piece that he believed it made his junk look bigger with no hair. So who is he impressing the few times he shaved??? A Narc can be a dumb as dog doodoo.
Mine just liked lying on his back and receiving hand jobs – that is, when he would get around to having sex at all.
The Narc of my life and his relationship with porn is indeed weird. Although I would catch him, he refused to let me see what he was watching. He never wanted to watch it with me. However, just before I'd had enough of the overall crap, I witnessed his viewing snuff porn…. dead naked women is what I walked in on. He shut it off. Once during sex he told me "you have no idea what I want to do to you" and while it unnerved me, he never sexually violated or hurt me. I think he wanted to kill me.
I find that I was clinging to the BDSM culture when I really began sinking lower and lower into my self confidence and I felt it was so liberating and what I needed. I've always liked sex toys but a majority of the abusive ex's I was with actually hated them and refused to use them. The BDSM stuff came about when I would be dealing with some type of emotional issues that one of the relationships left me feeling really lost, hating myself inside and out. The more I heal and learn about narcissism, the more that type of behavior disgusts me. I broke up with me last highly abusive ex over a year ago. I did online dating to where I was sexting a different new guy each month, if not more frequent. I thought because the sex life went so badly down hill in each relationship that being that turned on by someone meant something special. (Turns out the sex was always intense and amazing in the beginning of the relationships with the other guys, it's just they started losing interest in me and would get it elsewhere or try to get it elsewhere and since I was faithful I was left feeling bored most the time). The last time I had sex I hooked up with a Dom that I had actually hooked up as a one night stand and thought he was the best sex I ever had. Back in Nov. we decided to try our amazing night again. I subconsciously faked it for myself but afterwards I knew I never wanted that again. I find it degrading for anyone to be more "in power" than the other person. The more I delve into real feminism too the more degrading I find it. Not just women being the subs, but even them being doms too. The more I emotionally heal the more this stuff no longer interests me. I mean I still like some toys 😀 but sexting and the dom/sub stuff isn't anywhere interesting anymore. Neither is jumping from guy to guy. But I kind of needed those times, b/c it helped me really spot narcissism at it's best with online dating! Now I feel I can tell a majority by their profile and pictures! haha I know which guys are just looking for hookups by the first message and sometimes won't even message back. It's so rewarding to know you can easily spot them if you know how to look. Some still slip through my radar, but I've become more and more cautious and know with anyone new the waiting game is always the best!
My narc wasn't even good at it. She thought I would not recognize her abuse and become needy. She tried to denigrate me via email, but i was able to see through the lies and gaslighting. The relationship was a year of friendship and few months of dating. She really didn't do a lot of damage in terms of lowered esteem or betrayal. We were developing an organic connection, but she actively sabotaged it overnight. But let me tell you, I have know idea how you can keep it together after seeing videos of your narc having sex with CL strangers! Nothing like that happened to me, but the betrayal was significant enough to be distressing. then again, truama affects people differently. With that said, I don't know how I could cope with the sexual, emotion and financial betrayal you were subject to. Stay strong.
He may be a narc if he "eases you into swinging" or other questionable sex acts.
I am such a narcissist…
This is so great :)
yeah…and he was great in bed…. these people omg… i don't trust anyone right now. and I don't know if I ever will again
my ex was a somatic covert narcissist, damn…how dumb could I be? Can I even trust myself? I lived a life for almost 2 years…..Did he cheat on me? I'm sick,,,all was a big lie
the Narc all of them full of sh…. t
This is so true.My husband was involved with a narcissist.Everything that you described happen to him.The final phase that the narcissist castrated him.He fell into this trap knowingly.It was what he wanted.He got burned and will never be a man again.
I come to you with a heavy heart.My husband was sexually involved with a narcissist for 3 years.He is now 63 yrs old,I am 62 yrs old.We have 3 adult children,2 grandchildren.This women from Trinidad Erica C.Jones,Her profile on Facebook is a white mask with a red heart on her lips.She is pure evil.I am sorry that I didn't know about narcissism in 2003.My family possibly could have avoided this hell if we had known.After 18 yrs my husband exposed the awful truth 2016.While engaging in sexual intercourse with Erica,she forcefully grabbed his penis like a vise.He said she twisted it until it popped.He could no longer have sex with anyone.He is a eunuch.He can no longer stand up and urinate,he must sit on the toilet like a woman.He has the organs of a small child.He had much scarring which the doctors tried to find out the cause.He has aggressive prostate cancer,had the operation November 2015.He has to wear diapers for the rest of his life.I must deal with this.
Yeah… people can take sexy pictures for themselves, and not be a narcissist. Some of the things in this video are extremely judgmental.
Was your past Narc a Sagittarius ?
Aren't all women who wear makeup and/or take forever to put it on every day narcissits? Yes.
So you have like 6 different kinds of narcissists you listed. Sounds like everyone is a narcissist by your definition. People cheat because they are bored or their lovers aren't meeting then halfway and a lot of times after they break up the one that was cheated on fixes themselves with the second person they date which seems like another mental issue. Why didn't they just do that the first time around and avoid getting cheated on? It's both parties responsibilities to maintain the relationship.
This video is spot on for me. Especially the body image struggles. I can feel your strength in your video and that gives me hope. I just had a similar conversation with my Narc about 18 year olds being attractive. I thought it was gross since he is old enough to be their dad. EVERYTHING YOU SAID in this video was so right on the money!!!! Its awful that these people are out there in the world. Is it weird that I feel concerned for the women that my narc is flirting with and whatever else he is doing with them? When I see it happen from a distance in public or I see the text messages pop up on his phone I just want to tell the women run, he is a monster!
Years ago I made the mistake of getting involved sexually with a narcissist and got burned as explained here. And I learned real quick that just because I click well with someone that doesn't mean we were meant to be together. Bottom line is, I made the mistake of getting too close too quick and have since decided to live my life putting God first which makes me have to live by some strict rules of engagement, but since then I have really found much peace in my life. Because I chose to have a sexual relationship with someone where I bullshitted myself into the belief that I really knew someone, I took that gamble and lost. My narcissist used sex to suck me in and I took the bait and paid the price. It's just my opinion, but I think it is safe to say that narcissistic people are not good people therefore the condition is rooted in evil. So, if a narcissist playing like they are Mr. or Mrs. right wants to go out with you, tell them it is strictly platonic and they wont know what to do except leave you alone. Because a good person with honest motives who really has a genuine fondness for you will look past sex if they are really interested. I know this because my narcissist contacted me 6 years after I split from her and asked me out after she went through several different relationships, and a marriage. I said I would meet her for a beer but we are not dating anymore which means no sex (just to see what she would say). I do not here from her anymore.
Again, thank you!! What you say about the girl who had an amazing sexual connection with this guy who then just dropped her and left her wondering what happened…exactly the same happened to me with the guy I was with. The sex was just out of this world, I had never experienced anything like it in my life. It carried on for 4 months and then he dropped me without any explanation. I am still wondering what I did wrong, but now I know he was a narcissist, and it starts to make sense.
I take sexy pics of myself for myself lol
My GOD! Thanks so much for making this clip. You're right I thought it was me, but it turns out it was him all along when it came to sex. I had see picture of his first 2 ex wives. OMG! And women that he's cheated with. Just got married to a woman who he claims is rich, former model, much younger Dutch. I thought it was funny because Rich people don't marry soldiers in the United States army. Wife number 4. Good luck!!!!
This really hit home for me. The porn, the hook ups, being naked in a club, the sex work, pressuring me to do things I am not interested in (threesomes, bdsm, etc.), the cheating…. what a sick, sick young man.
Is it a normal excuse for a "narcissist" living far away to say they can no longer be sexual online anymore after meeting the victim because they "just want to be with you, and now it's difficult after meeting?"
I'm having a hard time distinguishing if someone is a narc or not. I'm trying to be careful with him (He knows of my past childhood sexual abuse) but I just keep seeing too many red flags. :'(
Sex with my ex-narc always felt like she was just using my body to masturbate, which, incidentally, she told me she did ALL the time. She had no empathy or ability to feel love or intimacy. She indeed loved porn and would often brag about the sexual compliments she received during her workday and even from her boss at work! I could never give her a compliment because that was often the first thing she would summarize for me of her day.
All of this questionable sexual behavior with narcs is true in my case: she talked me into going to a drag show, a strip club once where she said that's where you can pick up a stripper to take home like some kind of toy, she tried to manipulate me into threesomes, she had purposely engaged in homosexual experiences to "see if it did anything for her", constantly reminiscing about prior sexual experiences with former "boyfriends", maintaining several friendships with her ex's via facebook and emails, abandoning me at a concert on my birthday to flirt with other men, bragging about all the hundreds of emails she would receive from men when she was a member of various dating sites online, and all the while throwing it all in my face as if to get off on the shock value, but I never gave her the pleasure of seeing me in distress. Well, maybe in the beginning I expressed my dislike but as she continued on with her disturbing stories and escalating her questionable behavior as if she had not even heard me or had a care in the world for my feelings, I just became numb and aloof.
Well, THAT was cathartic! Thank you for the videos … I just wish i had seen them before I entered into the living hell of being in a relationship with a narcissist. I have never been so mistreated by any other human being in my life! Oh, and I almost forgot, she did cheat on me and never apologized, instead preferring that I try to understand what she was feeling in order to engage is such disrespectful behavior and ultimate betrayal.
I also found with my ex any way that he defiantly had a high sex drive but the longer we were together the more I didnt want him! and in no way could he figure out even though I explained to him many times that making love only ends in the bedroom as it is a all through out the day activity. he couldn't understand that he can't demean a person and expect that person to feel any desire to be intament. wow so much of what you say describes what I just knew was somewhat sociopathic. I wish I had learned this stuff years ago!
my narcissistic boyfriend x boyfriend did dump me after I was in trouble with his stuff. I paid for lawyer and I ended up going to prison. to many details in the six year relationship to go into but the sad thing is is that my car that because of him does not run is at his house and my furniture my clothes and many thing. im out of prison now and on an ankle moniter and the most frustrating thing is that I have to pretend to care about him and act like I want us to be friends just so he will pay me way to small of payments for quite a bit of money he owes me and until I get back on my feet I can't get my things from his house one of them being my diseased parents bedroom set. I get so angry with my stupidity because everything in me knew he didnt realy care but I just couldn't accept or wrap my mind around his mindset. any I ramble because its still just to unreal! but I promise the minute I get my money (which ill be lucky to get a fourth of what he owes me) and my things I will let him know how much I dont like as a person and im not his friend and I will let him know I know he is one sick sob and so very unattractive! and what a poor excuse for a man he is! sorry he came by for a min last night and I still feel like puking! somehow I will forgive and move on!
14 year old girls can be attractive, at what age does a woman become attractive?so then your saying 14 year old girls are ugly?
Don't blame the victim.
Tell narcisstic men or women to go screw themselves as they are so in love with themselves.
my thoughts and opinions.
The key word describing self esteem is "self". If your esteem is externally controlled or your self esteem is damaged by someone else that's not exactly "self".
Hey there, I have watched a lot of your verrry informative videos. You helped me out so much wen I was living in a house of 4 narcissists (dad, grandparents, and brother). Seriously, thank you for having this channel!! You inspired me to make my own channel, along with a few other Youtubers. I would like to invite your viewers (if I may) to check out my channel if they're struggling with narcissists, or feel like the black sheep of the family. I will also be posting videos on DNA activation, connecting with the Higher Self, and Self Love. Thanks so much, once again and keep at it. You rock!
Why in most videos are narcissists typified as males? I know studies say most are males but there are many, many female narcissist!
Just tracked my ex N to a porn site he'd signed up for. He was there for only day (date signed up and date of last login shown). In the course of one day, it showed that he watched 70 porn videos and looked at 58 albums. How is that even possible, with three kids in the house??!! I knew he liked his porn, but that is CRAZY. My picker is so broken. How will I ever trust a man again?