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36 thoughts on “Successful Dating: Spot a narcissist right away,and be safe from harm

  1. not wanting to be alone… wow my ex narcissistic female friend was that way too

  2. Misfortune! in my case. Horrible, relentless, corrosive misfortune… and yes! I failed. All the Love wasted. She never became anything better.

  3. How do you think it would affect a narcissist who was always dated women who had no jobs, no car and no home of their own to going to a woman who is independent and does not need his help, do you think that would put him in a ongoing state of frustration, feeling like he's going to not be able to maintain his supply?

  4. And it is good to remember that we are chosen because of our qualities, not because there is something wrong with us. When I found out my ex was dating a lot of different people, I liked all of the women he dated , he has great taste LOL

  5. I like you. You seam very authentic =)

  6. "if you've had the misfortune, or you might say the growth opportunity…" 3:03. lol. Enjoyed that.

  7. It's not nearly as rare as you think. Try dating in your 40's, it's the majority of singles out there. It goes a long way to explain why they remain so their whole lives. Yes they were women. Your video is good besides the sexist assumption of "he, he he".

  8. I wish I would have found this video 4 years ago! 6 month's of charming bliss, then 3.5 years of living H…..and it is all my fault. Well been 70 days and I am picking up the pieces of me and trying to regain my self worth.

  9. Beverly, your videos are brilliant. wish i had found them a long time ago..but not to worry, i've found them now. really helping me to get some clarity on a guy i have just split with. if i feel myself buckling, i'll just come back and watch another of your videos as they are giving me some real strength. thankyou so much

  10. My ex partner told me how he'd been with one woman for ten years before he met me.  At different times he'd mention things about various women he'd dated before me.  One day I said "Hey–you said you were with Dee for ten years–how could you have been dating all of these other women?"  He said "neverrrrrminnnnd."   After I dumped him, someone told me that he'd been dating someone else for a year before we broke up, so our split didn't bother him a bit.  This guy was frighteningly emotionally abusive and get this–he gave talks to community groups about men being abused in relationships!

  11. 4:35 No narcissist would admit they are serial daters. lol

  12. I agree that unconditional love may be the only antidote to narcissism, however the ultimate question to ask is whether offering unconditional love to the narcissist is the most loving thing you can do for yourself. If it means tolerating abuse or telling yourself you have to be unconditionally loving 'to be a good person', then it's probably not a good idea. If anyone knows of narcissist who has really truly healed or reformed themselves I would love to hear it, but part of me really doubts this is possible.

  13. I lived with a narcissist for 8 years. Exactly, he was charming and behaving good until we started to live together – then it was a living hell, not always but you sort of go on eggshells – because you can never tell when that person will turn against you and start to attac you verbally and physically. In my case only one "wrong" word could lead to a war at home. I learnt a lot of patience and to make clever strategies to survive. He cheated and lied a lot. I lost money and health but finally when he was abroad I left with help from family and friends. Today I live in paradise, helping others. Thank you for uploading these videos. A narcissist is a dangerous person.

  14. My narcissist is FULL BLOWN. he is the 1% everything is right on, he has EVERY trait plus more , he is sick.

  15. Who doesn't hate to be alone? How is this a typical trait of a narcissist?

  16. Why is it always he? can't it be a "she" ? I wish I had known about narcissism before my last relationship. Perhaps, I was vulnerable because I had never met a narcissist and also because I grown up in lovely family. I once fell in love with a girl who was extremely manipulative and abusive. I did everything for her, from getting her degree for her to finding job, sheltering and feeding, everything one can imagine. I was just blindly in love with her. We even wanted to get married in a few month….. Months gone by and I reach a point that I could no longer take the abuse and began to wakeup from a very deep sleep. I started questioning her behaviours. She got aggressive, edgy, all nervous and at time even crying. One day, I woke up and had an idea! I told her that the marriage is off and she has 48hrs to leave my house and go back to where she came from. Generally, I am a very strong person, both physically and emotionally, but I felt traumatised and devastated. Not because of chucking her out of my life, but more because of my mistakes and continuing my relationship with an absolute demon. It took me nearly two years to recover, I was in a very critical period in my life. I was in my final year of university, doing job interviews, finding part time job and basically managing everything in life alone. Still, after nearly three years, I still feel the pain. COnstantly blaming myself for allowing her to abuse. I wish I had known about these things before I met her. I would like to thank you for doing such a great job. Hopefully, people watch your videos and steer clear of narcissists. Cheers :–)

  17. on a first date they will always always tell you they were abused as a child or adult or in a previous relationship,physically or sexually……and what they say may not always be the truth…….they will always give you a huge lie on a first meet as you will go into protective mode and feel sympathy,empathy………….do NOT……..and i mean DO NOT fall for it.

    i was with someone 14 years and everytime i asked about their history or family or anything really – the response was either a blank or a lie or half truth….i can hold my hand up and say after 14 years i didnt know this person and because of the rollercoaster effect of a relationship with a narc – i found when the relationship ended i no longer know myself or who or what i was as a person…..i lost all my hobbies and everything i loved about life including friends and family and yup i managed to loose my business to the narc slowly and methodically taking it over then trashing it after they had stolen thousand and thousands from it.

    do not believe a narc will ever love you even if they tell you so – you may get a sexual favour now and again if your buying them a long haul flight or an expensive gift…..they serve only themselves and covert narcs are the worst – i know – i had one…….they are evil manipulative c*nts (thats me saying it politely)

    i wish i had known about all this stuff when id met them……..we learn through our mistakes.

  18. I wish I had known you when I was in my twenties. Better late than never I suppose.

  19. I just broke up with a narcissist and feel like I survived a war.  Met him online, communicated for 5 weeks before we were able to meet.  We only actually dated 6 weeks, 3 of which we were apart because I tried to break up with him early on!  All the signs were there:
    1) He told me on the 2nd date that he had two separate affairs on his wife.
    2) He told me that an ex GF and his ex wife called him a narcissist
    3) He criticized every woman in his life – every woman- mother (deceased), exes, sis in law, etc.  Everyone was CRAZY and dysfunctional.  haha
    4) He was obsessed with youth and fitness and physical attractiveness.  He spoke of overweight people with extreme disdain
    5) His 'crazy' ex GF showed up at his house the morning of the first night I spent there.  He left me inside for a full hour, to 'talk' to her and 'let her down easy'. 
    6) He picked up on my compassionate and loving nature, I made him feel 'good' about his 'mistakes' – he told me everything about himself. 
    7) As we got 'closer', he would start talking about other women who contact him to get together – usually this would be after we had been intimate ourselves!

    And yet…. I stuck it out for 6 weeks!  3 months total.  He brought NOTHING to the table for ME.  I was his counselor, confidant, and 'eye candy'.

    Getting out was hard- I broke up, he talked me down, I softened, then he turned on me quickly – being sarcastic and condescending.  I then blocked him everywhere.  I felt crazy in my head and knew all along this was bad news for me.  And yet, he was so cute and 'sweet' to me.  I will never let this happen again.  I feel great now – have hardly given him a thought just one day since No Contact.  It's like I was possessed!  Thanks for these videos.  I hope to avoid this sort of relationship in the future!

  20. I was married to a narcissist, they are serial cheaters, critical and always have a side lover to run to. They have no compassion.

  21. Narcissists are; DAN-GE-ROUS!!! I survived one, god knows how. Made me stronger and learned a lot from it. But boy, do they know how to tear you down, wear you out.And yes, when you find them out, unmask them, it becomes really ugly and pathetic at the same time. STAY AWAY FROM THEM.

  22. Thank you for your video's regarding this subject. Married too young, 22 yrs. married to a narcissist. Following me fleeing the home due to his fits of rage, he divorced me during cancer, after telling me he wanted to come home. Our only daughter moved out. He remarried a wealthy woman, he met on-line, before it was legal. After two attorneys and having to clear my name of adultery, I'm back in my home now. Recently, they moved to the county where I live and started going to MY church. Also my daughter has moved in with them in a prestigious neighborhood. I'm crushed and still trying to heal from the mental abuse which was tremendous and still torturous. My mother moved in with me during my difficulties. So I've had a complete life changing experience. I've been dating someone for over a yr now, but still unsure that I can trust my instincts. There are some red flags, but it's unclear to me for sure. No-one's perfect, right?

  23. It would be really great if you could makes videos on covert narcissism (i.e. those who appear on the outside as the complete opposite of a stereotypical narcissist and don't try to be the centre of attention, take leadership roles, or try to look overly beautiful, but manifest all these signs in private towards the victim) and the discard  phase of a narcissistic relationship. Thanks!

  24. Excellent sending this to my daughter who has dated 2!
    

  25. you're amazing and so helpful! Growth opportunity is right ..thanks, so glad I came across your videos

  26. A guy sought me out in a coffee shop once and started talking to me the first time I talked to him something was off. He reminded me so much of my ex step dad. When I got to know him better I realized how weird he is. I plan on letting him know that I no longer want to talk to him. He also has a friend who is getting closer to me to who I will also have to stop talking to. Everything you describe about the narcissist is true for these two men…I'm still not sure if they are narcissists or psychopaths, sociopaths…who knows but they are both really creepy. I feel like they are lions and I am the prey. I saw one of them a couple of days ago and ignored him only because a lady came up to me and told me that one of the guys was a sexual predator.

  27. I have a FULL BLOWN narcissist on my hands. I mean fit every trait of being a narcissist  that every life coach shared on youtube. I mean this is right on the nose. He walked around and told everyone including strangers how great I was at the beginning and how he need me in his life, he called me his wife, said he wanted to marry  me. I am crushed right now, if fell for everything, he has done SO man narcissistic things, that I can write a book I want to talk about it

  28. There are plenty of full-blown narcissists in the general population as well as plenty of sociopaths and psychopaths (antisocial personality disordered people)….

  29. Ive been watchin and lovin your videos!

  30. Do they bring the conversation back to themselves, and do thybput u on a high pedestal from the moment they meet you………… Its amazing

  31. I like that you remind us that we don't have to stoop to their level.  Just keep ur cool, and get away lol

  32. ThxSoMuch it's all confirmed what I thought and what my friends are trying to convince me of.

  33. i made a song it goes, put me on a pedastool knock me down again i wanna be the cock of the walk and i want you to be my hen.

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