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What is a Covert Narcissist Like?
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Don't forget very passive aggressive- they will show one face and act like anger is a low vibration energy, and pretend they are forgiving and accepting- then gossip behind your back smearing you.
I wish I was as eloquent as you. You've described everything I've been through. Seeing but disbelieving & I rationalized everything because I didn't know what I was looking at. Now I feel stupid. After 21 years of marriage I want to leave but I have no money and no education. He is getting worse.
Pit bull if you confront htem. Well said, and "the Donald" is about to get the Republican nomination for President of the United States. We are in serious trouble.
Covert confuses me. I have been accused of being one, by my narcissistic ex. I can't tell if I am in denial about it, or if it was just attacks from the ex.
hi, I enjoyed this vid. However I don't agree with the assignation of Saddam Hussein as covert narc; if anything Hussein should fall into the overt Narcissist category. Hussein had statues erected to him, palaces etc and lived like a king and he wiped out an entire ecosystem when he drained Iraq marshes decimating the wildlife and destroying livelihoods of indigenous people and of course countless lives – surely these are not the actions of a covert narcissist ? They're all too blatantly destructive and self-aggrandising and pseudo- omnipotent. When I think of famous coverts I think of the RCC living and breathing propaganda machine that was Mother Teresa and Sir Bob Geldof ( most definitely ) who is so desperate for people to send their alms to rescue " a sick and dying Africa" while in the same breathe receiving a substantial fee for his conscious-raising rhetoric and a handy knighthood to boot . rock star Sting pretending to be all peace loving and spiritually conscious human being and in the same breath accept huge fees from Middle Eastern tyrants for private functions . Oh I feel Dr Phil is too and Florence Nightingale (perhaps) and other such beneficent, pillars of society would fit into the category more fittingly .
No, covert means that instead of the whole world will supply me (like overt) they come from a place of lack, not enough, they are more intelligent in that the covert narc knows it won't last and they hoard and get as much as they can and they drain resources more than the soul of a person. They are not saints doing good deeds, that's other issues. Entitlement yes, but those kind of people don't do favors for everyone else and they only last serving in church or wherever VERY briefly. I agree that they come across more as soulmate because they see resources they want and that's all they love and will take. Covert won't go to a therapist because again, they are more intelligent than overt and know they can be figured out. Paranoid personality traits fall under covert narcissist. Think from that perspective. They still never say they're sorry or take responsibility for anything. They are more victim conscious than the overt narc. They can also cry about commercials and movies but nothing real in their life or anyone close to them. I honestly think you don't know the difference between self-esteem, ego-centric, and narcissistic. Strong leaders may seem to have egos…you only mention men, no powerful women. I think you would benefit from some introspection about your judgment against form of power in men. We are all supposed to be powerful, so it's when we're powerful at someone else's expense and in a hidden way that it's bad. Power in and of it self is not bad, but part of our design. Too complicated of a subject for a paragraph, but I didn't agree with you much here and I have liked many of your other videos. I was married for 10 years to a covert narcissist…never did he act kind to anyone other than me whilst he was draining everything out the back door.
I'm of the opinion that we're all narracist. We're all egoic, and we act accordingly. With that said, some of us are MORE egoic than others. But most if not all all of us are damaged. Most egos are damaged.
Hi, did you ever met women narcissist who do not cheat? My ex girlfriend was stealing my money, she was a pathological lier … but not signs of cheating. Simply I do not believe, she was cheating.
I kept waiting to see if you would hit the nail on the head regarding my recent split with my former fiance. i have been devastated beyond words and depressed since losing him. at 10:21 you nailed it! the soulmate connection. thank you for that.. for the validation. he wont apologize, he wont forgive me for being angry. its all about him. he was never this way in our relationship, he was always attentive and giving and kind and then bang. i dont know what happened and he refuses to tell me. he just said one day while we were watching videos together, that he didnt know if he was even still in love with me. it felt like someone ripped my heart out and crushed it. i'd give anything to stop hurting over this person. i have no idea how. in hindsight, i was never good enough for him and he very carefully let me know it on a regular basis. he would tell me how much i had 'improved' since he and i began seeing each other.. and he felt it was his 'calming' influence that helped me. when in fact, i was MORE insecure than before i got with him. i was actually quite content and happier because i wasn't constantly being put down in very
almost impossible to noticesubtle ways. he'd say it was my kids being 'too loud'. (he'd tell me how quiet the kids in norway are even when id hear his niece screaming in the background when we talked.) or send me exercise equipment because i began putting on weight due to my health issues. (even though he was much more overweight than i was.) there was always some very inconspicuous way of letting me (and my kids) feel like we were in his shadow. his family was always 'above' us. it sometimes came across as boasting or bragging but done in such a manner that it made me wish we had what he had.. it was very methodic and meticulous. extremely manipulative. i see all of it now, but i was so blind to it before. i have beaten myself up for being angry at him and saying things to him in anger even knowing that the 5 steps to grieving the loss of a loved one through death or divorce, breakup or whatever loss it is, part of those steps is being angry and i was angry. i still am. he destroyed me. my confidence, my hopes and dreams that he promised my kids and me. and he can't be bothered to give me any kind of reason for why he did it. i already suffer from severe depression. ive had it since i was a child and battle with it daily. this was a blow to my soul and my mind that i most definitely did not need and i have no idea how to get through it.Trump is not a narcissist, but only appears to be. All you have to do is look at his children and how they relate to them. They are happy, well-adjusted, and they admire their father. Most children of famous narcissists end up like the typical Hollywood kid. Also, Trump is open to handing off his business to his children if he becomes president. Narcs are too controlling of their children to just hand over the family business. Look deeper…
How likely is it that you get involved with two Narcs?!…Could it be something about yourself you need to change, not to be attracted to these fools?
OMG!! I feel the same way about the dearly departed Dr. Dyer. There has always been something that didn't line up with what was coming out of his mouth. He had a lot of people fooled and still does.
I feel like I bring out the worse in people. They show me their "dark side" and other people don't believe me that the people could be that way and don't want to hear about it. They believe the good side is all there is and should be respected/honored. They don't want to think less of the person. I am not trying to smear people, but being attacked by these people viciously was not fun. Yes…good listeners….know how to manipulate/charm. People think I am the problem…not the N..Yes…counselors may not realize it and I think some counselors are in that field due to trying to figure out their own life which they may not have already done yet.
I feel like I bring out the worse in people. They show me their "dark side" and other people don't believe me that the people could be that way and don't want to hear about it. They believe the good side is all there is and should be respected/honored. They don't want to think less of the person. I am not trying to smear people, but being attacked by these people viciously was not fun. Yes…good listeners….know how to manipulate/charm. People think I am the problem…not the N..Yes…counselors may not realize it and I think some counselors are in that field due to trying to figure out their own life which they may not have already done yet.
LDN may help and Celiac diet..no gluten/dairy/soy/sugar/GMO…vitamins/good oils/minerals…probiotic..detoxing. Hidden gluten in food with a label…nuts not sold in the shell/meat basting/some spices/certified gluten free. Zinc/Mg/fish oil/Vit C/Vit D3/HCl and enzymes with meals/strong probiotic when stomach acid is low/Vit B12 methylcobalamin shot/intrinsic fadtor kind/MTHF/Nature's Plus- Source of life multiple and more may help brain/body/personality.
Yes….they learned to cope etc. Narcissists maybe New age to avoid "sin" and all go to heaven. They may want to feel needed and "good". They may have had to earn a parent's love and want you to be supportive/unconditional love like a parent. They may have a high sex drive and flirt with all. They maybe sad under their fake mask and have much rejection to deal with.
Trump's first wife was someone he admired, yet in their divorce she accuses him of marital rape. His current wife looks like a mannequin. Trump's also been quoted as leering at his daughter and finding her sexually attractive.
I have always felt the same way about Wayne Dyer…thanks for the confirmation! Married 15 years to covert narc. Your video is spot on…it is the most insidious type of narcissism. I find overt narcs refreshing in comparison…
Wow I thought I was the only one who got the creeps from Wayne Dyer. He also used to get too emotional with the watery eyes which reminded me of my narc dad who came off as the emotional humanitarian yet had not real true empathy for his own children.
The so called new age circus are full of them.Mooji "when you are in the presence of someone who is free,you are privileged,weather you realize it or not".
Recommend your therapist get some training – then quit therapy.
Youll lose your life. youll still be alive but your life will be gone.
Therapists arent familiar with anything it seems.
My narcissist is a cackling neurotic witch daemon who wants to absorb everyone's life force
My mother (and younger brother) is a covert narcissist…and everyone who meets her thinks she's the greatest person on earth. However, as kids we would also see what happens after those people would leave the house after their visit :-). Jekyll and Hyde for sure…she would have everyone believing her too, which was really sad.
I can certainly help you complete a PhD about covert narcissists as parents though :-).
I know what you mean about a covert narcissist…. They appear like vulnerable and meek and shy type of people but underneath they are just the opposite. they are manipulative and wouldn't take accountability for their actions… It will be like themselves and the people as their tools to get their agenda done… I doubt if in their kindness it was a sincere human act of empathy or its their ploy to psychologically and emotionally assault you….
How do I know if I'm a covert Narcissist?
"We had this amazing connection and all these things in common, how can you walk away from this? Don't you see how rare this is?…" That's exactly what I was thinking so many times.
I do not view Donald Trump as a liar, or as a cheat, or as a thief. I would however view Obama as that, and also Hilary. So then I start to feel misguided here on the channel.
In my darkest hour, this video gave me hope
Bill Cosby was found NOT guilty and Osama Bin Laden was a CIA asset. You pay too much attention to the media. But Wayne Dyer? That's an interesting one…
Dana, I agree about self-esteem and covert… I couldn't get it together really but I have the same experience. Thanks!
They are the best actors…
They are Women and they are very covert.
No more con-game!
Cheating & misattributed paternity is very real, very true and
happens constantly. It probably has always been that way. No man can
really say for sure – who fathered his (supposed) children. Short of a
DNA paternity test, there is no way to know. Looks can be very very
deceiving and cheating wives know it. Many a husband has been hoodwinked
into believing the lies of a cheating wife. The Cheat – Conceive and
then Deceive con game.
You young guys need to be smart. Do not marry under today's conditions.
75% of divorces are instigated by women. If men knew the truth about the
con game, it would be 90% and the divorces would be instigated by
Husbands. What con-game? The con-game I've mentioned is part of the Big
Secret. I'll post more about that later.
The Con-Game. An Example: Husband Greg works hard everyday as manager of
a drugstore. His wife Linda works at some tech-firm and works everyday.
Linda has sex with Greg the night before going out of town on a
business trip. She has sex with co-worker Abbott the next night. Linda
didn't make sure they used protection. (Not as naughty and erotic
knowing the condom reduces the chances of pregnancy). She knows that she
is not on the pill and she is probably pregnant by her co-worker. (This
was a plan, not something to be called a mistake later.) She has sex
with hubby (a couple times) as soon as she gets home. Both men look
somewhat alike, so she'll keep it all a secret. Abbott is also married,
so she figures the secret is pretty safe. Now she will run the Con Game
on her husband. The con game is the "Cheat, Conceive and Deceive." The
above is just one example, but the con game is nearly the same. Greg
should be smart enough to write down the date that she went out of town.
If she is starting to look like a watermelon in 6 months time, Greg can
start planning his next move. (1 – Not to sign anything, especially the
baby's birth certificate and get setup for DNA testing. Once he knows
for sure, he can (2 – apply for divorce. This wife like many others,
will go on to try con her husband into believing he is the real
biological father of the child. She'll never give him any reason to
suspect and she will work at getting him to bond with the bastard child.
Men don't pay enough attention to (things) details. Her next move will
be to get him to go to the hospital and take part in the birth. She
hopes he will get all hyped with the birth and quickly sign the baby's
birth certificate – as being the father. This is the grand mistake that
most husbands make. Signing with knowing.) It will not work in this
case, because Greg is suspicious. Most of the time it does work. It
won't because Greg is wise to it.
Women are good at this con-game and they don't / won't show the least
bit of guilt and/or remorse. If they do, it weakens the con. Truth is,
they could win an academy award for fooling their husbands and their
families. You can be pretty sure her mother knows and is going along
with the con. Many a married couple have children outside their
marriages in such a manner. Children are kept in the dark about this
(who their biological parent / fathers really are.) Kids have to pay the
price by being kept in the dark and lied to. Most will never meet their
real biological father or half-siblings. It should be revealed at as
part of the baby's screening, if the father is the biological father or
not. I've sure there is some feminist ass is going to come along and say
some things like – DNA doesn't make a father. Biological or not, it shouldn't make any difference to a decent husband. I got the perfect answer – BULLSHIT !!
Message to Young Men & Women
A child's biological Dad may no longer be living and there is nothing that
anyone can do about that. They may have half brothers and sisters out there
that they don't even know. The bio-father may be ill and / or married and may not
even know they exist. If they do want to meet the bio-father, they first need to ask
to their mother (and supposed dad) if the man they call dad is really their
biological father. If their mother has been divorced a time or two, it gets a little more complicated. It may mean one, or none of her ex-husbands may not be bio-father either. She could cheated along the way and conceived. They need to ask their mothers for the truth. Mother – Who Is My Real Biological Father. They need to find out who he is. They have every right to know the truth. If for some reason you think mother isn't telling you the truth, then tell her that you will ask for and/do dna paternity testing. It is mind boggling how many mothers and grandmothers are lying. Bare in mind that the Court will protect lying and cheating mothers. They will destroy the husband and give her everything, including his wallet. Good Luck .. This is the only way for many of you young people to find out the truth.
One man of 52 just found out that his dad (73) is not his biological father. He is an only child. His mother cheated with an old boyfriend. So be you 8, 18, 28, 38, 48 and or even 60. You have a right to know. If you are older, you shouldn't wait any longer,
because people die everyday. Ask the questions and quickly do the DNA
paternity testing if need be. Women live by "What you don't know, can't/won't hurt you!" They are living a lie. Just because she divorced and says he was your daddy, doesn't mean it is so. She could have cheated on him long before the divorce. Just because she was married to him and he is still paying for your upbringing, doesn't mean he is your real bio-father. Ask him about it. Many men have tried to stop payments, because they are not the biological fathers. They were married to cheating wives. Many are joining groups to create awareness when it comes to being ruined by corrupt liberal-marxist-commie-feminist corrupt
courts and deceitful women.
You young men today need to beware of the Marriage Trap. Don't be
destroyed by the con-game. Do not get a woman pregnant. Never trust a
woman when she says she is on the pill. Never trust a women just because
she has a ring on her finger and says she is married. Single women are
doing this. These women are very often single and hard up. They want any
man they can trap for a provider. Don't walk away, Run! Don't find this
out the hard way. Don't do it. Don't have sex without protection –
ever! Aids is on the rise again STDs are becoming antibiotic resistant.
Yes, some of these women may be married, but you cannot pick and choose.
The next you know you'll be in court. All she has to do (married,
single, or divorced) is point the finger at you and say you are the
daddy. 75% of married women are leaving marriages and will never tell
their husbands and children the truth. They lie and they are good at it.
Beware. Seriously – Beware!
Any young man who decides he might get married, needs to know as much
about pregnancy as women do. All about conception, fertility, paternity,
Recessive traits, sperm, blood-types, eggs, ovulation, birth control,
cycles, body-temperatures, Protection (the pill) and etc.
ABO Blood-Types
==================
OO = Blood type O
AO = Blood type A
BO = Blood type B
AB = Blood type AB
AA = Blood type A
BB = Blood type B
==================
You can give blood and they'll tell you your blood-type. If you and your
dad both give give blood, you both could find out your blood types.
Perhaps later you and your mom could give blood, and then you would know
all three blood types. Anyway …
About ABO Blood Types ruling out a man as the father. If Dad has blood
type A and Mom has type A and Baby has A. If all three have type A, It
still doesn't mean Daddy is the biological father. Same with O & O
& O. — B & B & B. DNA testing is required, because it only
means – He may be the father. Another man with type A who slept with
your mother may be the father. Just keep in mind that DNA Paternity
testing tells all in the end. If Mom is type A and dad is type A and you
are type b, someone has a lot of explaing to do. You see how this
works. Another one. Mom is A and Dad is O and baby is AB. Again .. Mom
has been very naughty. You would need to be either Type A or O. I've
added a small chart below.
======================================
(1.) Mom & Dad
(2.) Possible baby types
(3.) Not-Possible Baby Types (Cheater)
(1) (2) (3)
A and A == A and O == B and AB
A and B == A, B, AB, O == No
A and AB == A and AB == O
A and O == A and O == B and AB
B and B == B and O == A and AB
B and AB == A, B, AB == O
B and O == B and O == A and AB
AB and AB == A, B, AB == O
AB and O == A and B == AB and O
O and O == O == A, B, AB
"What you don't know isn't the problem:
it's what you do know that just isn't so"
~ Mr: Dooley
I am one :)
great video..
apparently i was attracted to covert narcissists. it's crazy i got so many questions answered
Very interesting. Thank you for your input!
This is a very good video*******20 Signs You Are With A "Covert" Narcissist ****** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WVLZXLyO-M
It's interesting you bring up charity work and volunteers. I've been a volunteer for a few charities for years and I have noticed that it does seem to attract a lot of narcs!! Anyone else who volunteers long term can probably attest to the cat-fights and ridiculously dramatic fights over small things that go on within charity, and it's WAY more common than in a normal business and social atmospheres. I think they do it, not because they care about the ones they're helping, but ti bolster their own egos so they can say, "Ah, look at me! I'm soooooo giving!" Blugh.
There seems to be a similar problem in what I call the "woowoo" world….it's hard to explain the term, but it's kind of the hippy dippy, alternative medicine, new agey, super "spiritual" people….Everything is all about discovering your inner self and being in touch with the Earth…as long as you do it THEIR WAY and give them money. Within that world is also a lot of conspiracy theorists who are also miserable human beings…sometimes they are just scared and sometimes they are narcs who just want people to listen to them.
OMG, mine was TOTALLY into quoting Eckhart tolle…but he only talked the talk and didn't walk the walk. It drove me up the wall when he quoted Eckhart tolle. Such a hypocrite. He's just a scumbag ex junkie woman basher who plays the victim. He actually tried to make out like it's MY loss. HA! No loss hon'…none. He's a ridiculous, intolerable, disgusting puke of a parasite. Spider weaving a web. Creepy little asshole.
covert like in the btk killer,he was a church eler,a boy scout troup leader,etc,nice,hid everything,and murdered.
They pretend to be all nice, and even convince everyone they are good people, then they do things to manipulate and belittle people in ways that aren't completely obvious, and when you actually catch them in their lies, they never admit to it, unless you have absolute definitive proof, and even then they rationalize it to death and try to gaslight you away from believing what you found out to be true, and try to pretend like nothing bad happened, then soon as your guard goes down, they start doing the same shit again intruding on your sense of well being with stupid odious manipulative games and incredibly low down behavior. My father is one.
I've just experienced all this and there were times I thought I was going crazy especially with Things like 'reframing' and how great they can hide it and even turn the hole thing back towards their victims.Its easier too see now I've had space but while your in the middle of it all its overwhelming thanks for the upload