You can’t help a Narcissist http://www.menwhoareabused.com.
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You can’t help a Narcissist
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My wife to a T
The narcissist always wins in life
"OH " Have truer words ever been spoken….
my ex cheated with her ex and told me to my face she did it, several times, while she was in a relationship with me and tried to say it was my fault. I'm done, it's been over 4 months of no contact, & with all the abuse I went through, I can write a best-selling book. Terrifying to say the least.
A narcissist is not just someone with lots of narcissistic habits but one who has a narcissistic core that separates them form any real feeling which is why they need yours. Anyone who is "healed" through therapy was never a narcissist but a deeply damaged codependent who never hardened a core around their heart. I only know this because I have been abusing little narcissist to heal in preparation for dealing with narcissistic damage from a step mother in middle school. She had come from one of those families where everyone has been raised for generations to be narcissist and so most are. Most have a core of anger or shame or some other self loathing but hers was terror. She had been raised into it from birth with horrible abuse.
Thirty years later I am finally working through those feelings but the journey to get here has taught me all about them. Narcissism does not happen over time though the habits are laid over time. She prepared me for a year because I was well set up to fall and become one. Then she spent four months trying to turn me. I now understand how the core would have formed and I tell you it will happen in one night. And when it does, they are gone forever more. Only the love for myself my mother taught me as a toddler allowed me to endure to a solution. Once I found a buffer against her I left the terror on the table. After I escaped to my grandparents I devised a ill conserved plan to hunt and understand whatever kind of human that was. It worked but I do not suggest it.
Basically, I am an example of how occasionally a monster will make a monster-monster. At one point I got my life completely striped of every friend, family member and even acquaintances with nowhere to go, nothing to do and very real problems to solve. That was fifteen years ago. I still used them the whole way out and often found co-dependents finally ready to be rescued and I was able to help because I had become a monster to narcissist. Listen to this man, it is better to just run ASAP.
fighting with a narcissistic person gives them energy and it drains yours
You are correct, you are correct; you are correct!
Why leave comments in the comment section if you're going to give narcissist the power to have the comment section disabled. Makes absolutely know sense to me !!!!!!!
I can hear Henry Rollins screaming "cuz I'm a liar" over and over again in the background…
Okay, maybe it's just in my head.
Nice video.
Crush toxic abuser by the use of his own methods. Counter.
These video's are awesome. Thank you.
You can't help a narcissist you can only break them … Fight fire with fire!!! Most narcissist are lying spineless emotional worms. And when you treat them like they want to treat you, most will emotionally break. Like any big dog you have to keep them in place. The second that the dog thinks it can obtain alpha status it will move … that when you press even harder by putting the dog back into submission or omega status.
To love the narcissist in your life is to break the narcissist in your life. : )
Great advice ! :-)
I made this mistake trying to do things the Christian way and failed miserably. Buddhism helped me to let go and end the suffering. I learned finally the best thing to do is just not have contact with the person.
This is so right you cannot help a narc because they think that everything is your fault anyway. I seem to attract narcissistic people. Why is that? I don't know if I know how to have a normal relationship.These videos have opened my eyes, thank you
what about the pity poor me im always a looser and run and pout thingies?
when you tell them they hurt you and they act like you telling them they stepped on your toes is hurting them back worse then what they did to you …
I recently just left a person that was a narcissist and it was the weirdest & hardest relationship i've ever been in. There was relationship confusion and lack of communication along with no empathy or care on what was going on in my own life because all that mattered was the others own. If anyone that watches this video has undergone such treatment by someone then you're dealing with a narcissist and it seems difficult to understand when things are said and done but the realization that these people cannot be loved or love is the one basic understanding that there will always be someone else in this world that will care and show emotions and empathy. Oh and a side note, these people come off at the beginning as if they care but give it about a week or so and they will revert back into their low self esteem pitty party.
When they move on to the next person, do they do the same thing ?
After many years of suffering; of being manipulated into believing that my partner was a successful, wonderful, feeling, loving, and caring person, I began to realize shortly after marriage that I had been caught like a fish on the end of a fishing line. I was reeled in; having bit the bait. But, it did not take long to see that the person I believed I had married never existed at all. It was almost as if he had memorized a magazine article; had practiced being the "man" described in the article, and went to acting school to make sure he came off perfectly in the role. But, it became terribly apparent that I had been duped, and so had everyone else in the family–over the years. Slowly, people backed off; I backed off; I had to. No matter how much effort I put into trying to discuss important matters; family; finances; home repairs, etc., nothing ever became of it. I was exhausted trying to encourage changes in how things were managed. They will tell you anything to get you to back off, but in the end, they never heard you at all. You are wasting your energy. I now know that I must never forget what I am dealing with. I bought a SS cross pendant; every time I look at it I am going to remember my focus; the fact that God has delivered me after praying for the truth to be delivered to my heart. I can only thank God for James and so many others who have shared this important information–it has changed my life. Children get hurt too, eventually come to terms and slowly they realize that their "parent" is not really a parent at all, which has happened in my case. I have to cover for every event and coach it as though I am a teacher so that our children/grandchildren do not get hurt any more than they have been. I am exhausted, but I have a plan to get out now that I feel freedom is truly at my door. I am praying for all of you–God's speed. Don't doubt yourself. It is your turn now. If your children are now launched out into the world and you have the opportunity; think of you now–as long as they (N) have a TV set; food; shower, and bed, they may fess to devastation at the thought of being alone, but it is not you they will miss, it is what you do for them. My husband told me he is a "cardboard cutout"; and that is not a joke. If he could, he would cry over it all, but he cannot; that is what is so sad. He wants to feel, but he just can't. Sad but true.
I made the huge mistake of confronting my husband. He took it really well; he agreed with me and told me he needs to "get back to himself"; he said he doesn't know when he lost his feelings. He admitted he has no feelings for me or anyone else. It was shocking! Then, I found James' video; OMG–what have I done? I immediately told him I had been wrong; that the VA was actually correct in diagnosing him with BPD, but I know it is both; or perhaps they are coupled together. When it comes down to it, these people have a lot missing inside of them; they know it; they perform accordingly, but in all truth they never really live at all; they perform. They are MIA while the rest of us handle what they are lacking. It is very tiring. One thing I know now is that he never hung on to me because he loved me; he NEEDS me; that is a whole different subject. In truth; love should be because it is wanted, not needed, which is dependency on other people. They need you to cover for them in every way, but if you want to quit handling their life for them, they will become very aggressive, in many cases. Try to leave and do not ever believe that they come close to feeling what you may feel; they do not. They never will; they cannot.
Another point James made that is so accurate is that they perform in front of other people with ultimate charm; the performance is smooth and almost calculated, but after the people are gone; the doors are closed, and there are no witnesses to their real true personality, they are less than charming; depressed; full of pity for themselves, and can tend to be very dull, negative people. I am just blown away that there is such an accurate diagnosis for this personality trait, and that it can work so successfully for them until their cover is blown. It is very sad for the partner. Run if you can–get away from it–it will never change. They cannot change.
I think that any responsible individual, narcissist or not,
can learn to become accountable & responsible for their actions.
Especially if such actions harm or hurt another through fulfilling narcissistic supply.
Empathy cannot be forced upon anyone.
It is a phenomenological analysis of an individual's state.
But whether or not that ability in an individual is defunct or not,
plays no part in whether or not an individual can learn to recognise
the realistic consequences of, an instance where narcissistic
supply was gained at the expense of another's well being…
Mistakes are 100% human. Although its within proper maturation of EI that we learn to
make corrections or rectifications to our "random predicament" of life, that can sometimes hurt others.
why do you say they are beyond hope? is there nothing that can be done?
if you are in relationships via work family or otherwise with a narcissist and you cant walk away due to the circumstances, the BEST thing you can do is take care of YOU and protect YOU at all costs. Don't pay them any attention when not absolutely necessary and don't even let them THINK they will be allowed to get close to you. That's the best you can do for yourself. Don't let them in. PERIOD. That's the only way to survive and thrive in the company of N's.