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Thanks–you nailed it!
thankyou for this video. it helps alot, now i can see how my drive to be heard will trigger me into some toxic behavior like yelling and repeating myself, or say things in a wildly inappropriate way, even disregard how its affecting the people around me. during every silent treatment i never figured out what he wanted. but i was giving it to him with out even knowing. if i didn't give it up, he'd up the anti with property damage until i did. he wanted me to make a complete jerk of myself for the neighbors, be hurtful,and self centered. he must have found a childhood wound before i did. i took a look at my relationships with healthy people and found the problem with my rage not to be existent, or if there, to a lesser degree, and if it cropped up even just a tiny bit the issue is resolved with positive out come, either the other person felt i had a valid point or we end up sharing a chuckle cuz joan had a kid moment and i can totally see my error in perception and be able to validate the other person. perhaps i need to find in my self the wound that caused me to have crazy warrior reactions to silent treatments vs the turn off, walk away, sad reaction. perhaps i fight when not validated because im not content with the validation i can give myself.
I wish narcs didn't exist
after so long you just can't stuff the emotions anymore. ..