Month: June 2022

When you have a brief encounter with a narcissist, you might not realize that the person has a personality disorder which is typified by being very self-absorbed and lacking in empathy for others. However, when you are a target of narcissistic abuse, and are in a relationship with this person, your every day life becomes confusing and painful. Before getting into ways you can rebuild your self-esteem, let’s take a moment to describe the behavior of a narcissist for those who might not be clear about what the term means….

1 – He’s too good to be true. In the beginning if he seems too good to be true, he probably is. There’s a reason for this old adage. When you meet a   narcissist , he appears to be your prince in shining armor. He sweeps you off your feet and is incredibly charming. You are in disbelief that this man possesses all the qualities you have been looking for in a mate. Listen to your gut and trust it. Don’t believe everything he tells you.  Narcissists  have an uncanny ability…

Self-absorbed. Self-centered. Selfish.  Narcissist . These are a few of the terms that we normally attribute to a person with an overwhelming sense of entitlement, a belief that they are the center of the universe, and to a person who doesn’t consider how their actions affect anyone else. These individuals will not change unless they choose to. Therefore, understanding them, and knowing how to deal with them is the circle of control you have to work within. If you are on the path of attaining balance and peace in your life,…

To a  narcissist-employer , the members of his “staff” are Secondary Sources of Narcissistic Supply. Their role is to accumulate the supply (in human speak, remember events that support the grandiose self-image of the  narcissist ) and to regulate the Narcissistic Supply of the  narcissist  during dry spells (simply put, to adulate, adore, admire, agree, provide attention and approval and so on or, in other words, be an audience). The staff (or should we say “stuff”?) is supposed to remain passive. The  narcissist  is not interested in anything but the simplest function…

Narcissism is a character trait that involves self-admiration, self-centeredness, and self-regard. Everyone has some degree of narcissism. It is what motivates us to get dressed and wash our hair in the morning. However, like many things, narcissism falls on a spectrum. To the far right end of this spectrum lies the extreme or pathological   narcissist . This person’s narcissism is so severe or abnormal that when diagnosed, is classified as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Very few people realize that NPD is a real disorder that has been recognized by the American…

A pattern of traits and behaviours which signify infatuation and obsession with one’s self to the exclusion of all others and the egotistic and ruthless pursuit of one’s gratification, dominance and ambition. Most narcissists (50-75%, according to the DSM IV-TR) are men. The Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is one of a “family” of personality disorders (known as “Cluster B”). Other members of Cluster B are Borderline PD, Antisocial PD and Histrionic PD. NPD is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders (“co-morbidity”) – or with substance abuse and impulsive and…

We hear the word “ narcissist ” frequently these days. A  narcissist  has a personality disorder characterized by specific psychological and behavioral traits. These are grandiosity- a larger than life attitude about himself/herself; excessive self entitlement – an extreme sense that he is of greater value than others and can have whatever he wants; omnipotence – feelings of total power over their world and other people; self-absorption-putting oneself at center stage with the spotlight on them.  Narcissists  are often very charming and magnetic. They fixate and psychologically seduce those they perceive will…

To the  narcissist , the Internet is an alluring and irresistible combination of playground and hunting grounds, the gathering place of numerous potential Sources of Narcissistic Supply, a world where false identities are the norm and mind games the bon ton. And it is beyond the reach of the law, the pale of social norms, the strictures of civilized conduct. The somatic finds cyber-sex and cyber-relationships aplenty. The cerebral claims false accomplishments, fake skills, erudition and talents. Both, if minimally communicative, end up at the instantly gratifying epicenter of a cult…

Narcissism is categorized as a personality disorder by the mental health profession (Narcissistic Personality Disorder – NPD). Of course there are very few individuals who are formally diagnosed with NPD, mostly because few, if any, actually seek out therapy. Dealing with a  narcissist  during a marriage can be a challenging endeavor; however dealing with a  narcissist  during a divorce can be almost impossible. The  narcissist  will often look to manipulate others, especially partners, ultimately to control them. Projection and blame are often key elements to their manipulation. When a partner…

Would you agree we’re living in an age of narcissism and the narcissistic? Certainly, we have seen corporations topple because their leadership was out there primarily for their personal gain; they weren’t concerned about the well being of their customers, employees, and their stockholders. They didn’t care how the demise of their companies might reverberate throughout communities, the country, and even the world. They might have claimed they were doing it all for Wall Street and their stockholders. But were those their true motives? Probably not, especially if they were…

I am often asked when the grieving ends. Everyone is different. You can’t put a time frame on the healing process. What I do know is that the longer you avoid your pain, the longer it takes to recover. We must confront our pain and process it in order to heal and move on. Writing about it helps, expressing ourselves helps, meditating helps. All of these things help, but it is up to you to put these things in motion for yourself. No one else can do it for you…

When we are struggling with grandiose, ruthless, self-entitled  narcissists  in our personal and professional lives, we ask ourselves: “How did this person develop into such a self-absorbed, unempathic, deceitful individual?” The answer is not in the stars or the genetics as far as we presently know. The personality of the  narcissist  develops very early in childhood as a result of his (her) interactions with mother, father or both parents. In many instances the future  narcissist  is chosen for special talents, intellectual brilliance, physical attractiveness, athletic prowess, or a combination of…