Month: July 2022

To get us started, I will give you the actual psychiatric definition of someone who has the Narcissistic Personality Disorder just to make sure I don’t leave anything out. This comes from the standard text, the DSM-IV, which psychiatrists use to diagnose people. Here’s their definition: A pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, lack of empathy, as indicated by at least five of the following: 1. a grandiose sense of self-importance 2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love 3. believes that he…

Thank goodness for Facebook, otherwise the police would have to work a lot harder to put sexual predators in jail. What used to be bragged about in a bar, “I grabbed her and did X, Y, and Z to her,” is now a tweet, a text, a blog subject, or a posting by the perpetrator, complete with accompanying cell phone photos of crime scenes, evidence, and unclothed body parts. For the entitled sexual narcissist (save your Congressman Weiner remarks), who can’t wait to tell others about what he has done,…

“The most reliable sign, the most universal behavior of unscrupulous people is not directed, as one might imagine, at our fearfulness. It is, perversely, an appeal to our sympathy.” – Martha Stout Recently, I wrote an article for people who feel like they are a magnet for  narcissists , where I covered the traits and beliefs that are likely to attract them, and what to do to stop drawing them into your life. However, there is another way that will weed them out very quickly. And that is to not show…

Most of us enter relationships hoping for a healthy, supportive, giving partnership where there is mutual love, respect, and fulfillment. With a pairing of two emotionally stable, healthy people who truly commit to and invest in one another, this scenario is well within the realm of possibility. However, there are instances where a partner’s behavior makes this nearly impossible. It can feel as if no amount of effort seems to change anything for the better and that one partner’s actions consistently seem hurtful and bewildering. One possible explanation for this phenomenon is a personality…

The high-level narcissist is a master of taking credit, whether deserved or not, and shifting blame, whether justified or not. After all, in their minds, they are entitled to all credit for success and since they are without fault cannot possibly be blamed for failure. These narcissistic characteristics can best be demonstrated with some examples. Robert was the General Counsel for a publicly traded corporate conglomerate. His in-house legal staff included lawyers who handled the company’s litigation. Robert was a fantastic armchair litigator. From his comfortable leather chair in his…

Greed has been with us since man walked upright upon the earth. Greed is a relentless, insatiable desire and drive to possess more than one needs, often at the expense of others. Most Narcissists are greedy. They are constantly planning and scheming (even in their sleep) how to expand their power base and increase their material largesse. There is no end to greed. The narcissist hungers for everything in and out of reach: money, property, power, adulation, fame, dominance over the lives of others. Narcissistic greed is ultimately driven by…

QUESTION Number 1 – Who is a  Narcissist ? Dear Dr. Vaknin, I read the excerpts you placed on your web site with great interest. I wanted to ask: Isn’t your definition of malignant narcissism too wide? Having read it, I think that it fits my neighbours, friends, and family to a “t”. Everyone seems to be a  narcissist  to me now! HELP! ANSWER Yours is an understandable reaction. All of us have narcissistic TRAITS. Some of us even develop a narcissistic PERSONALITY. Moreover, narcissism is a SPECTRUM of behaviours –…

The disguised narcissist is cloaked in a garment of humility and self deprecation. He/she gives the impression of having a deflated sense of self and a diminished ego. The disguised narcissist presents a picture of being like everyone else, just plain folks—-but he isn’t. Distracted by his offhand, low key manner, many of us fail to notice that we are dealing with a certified narcissistic personality. Restless, power and money driven, the disguised narcissist speaks more forcefully through his actions than his words. The disguised narcissist is a ruthless competitor…

At certain times, we all have narcissistic tendencies. We want our way, we like to be admired for our looks, body or brain and we react negatively to criticism. In a nut shell, within limits those very traits can be relatively normal. It’s important to note, however, that there are extremely unhealthy levels of the narcissistic personality. These high levels of narcissism will take out the innocent and the weak of heart before they can even realize what hit them. Since someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) doesn’t normally wear…

Caring for an aging parent with narcissism is very difficult position to be put in. Many care givers find themselves in the unenviable position of providing care of the elderly narcissist at the cost of their own survival. Care giving is stressful, at times overwhelming and promotes guilt. The aging narcissist finds this to be a perfect scenario. Care giver stress is real. When you choose to take on the role of care of the elderly and aging narcissist you may not be prepared for what is in store for…

Relationships have challenges due to the fact that two different people with different personalities, histories, and thought processes are trying to live in harmony. With good communication and effort, two emotionally balanced people can forge a relationship that is mutually happy, loving, and fulfilling. However, there are certain people who possess a type of mental “hard wiring” that causes them to think and behave in ways very different from most of the rest of us. Unfortunately, these character traits are usually very destructive to their interpersonal relationships. Narcissism is one…

Narcopath Manipulation Characterized as Games Narcopaths (malignant narcissists, narcissistic sociopath) are masters at playing mind games. They play to win and take no prisoners. They are sore losers and if they don’t win they will often react in a fit of rage and stomp away like a little child. I have to say upfront, I am not comfortable calling what a narcopath does to us as games, but I can’t think of a better alternative. I used manipulation characterized as games, but that’s a mouthful. Anyway, every therapist I’ve talked…