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Empty Tears Of The Narcissist
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Not all of them do. They'd rather cut off their own arm than cry, because they see it as a weakness. I know this because I'm with one…..
when they cry they are trying to worm their way out of responsibility when that doesn't work they all of a sudden decide to be angry
Your mother was trying to kill you in the car with her.. My ex did that a lot! THey hate other drivers gaining on them. They will take you down with them.
When ever you see a woman coming out of your bosses office crying…someone is going to get fired…just saying… seen it a lot.. they love to lie and get people fired then pretend to cry when they are getting fired in front of them.. no one is that emotional!!!
That's a perfect description and EXACTLY how it is. The first time, that I can significantly remember, my mother going from sweet (clueless-innocent) to balling heart broken victim loving mother in order to manipulate my father into making me look like the confused liar that had no idea what I was talking about, to the Cujo Raging Beast literally foaming at the mouth (after my father left the room) tactic. Scaring the absolute doo doo outta me, just to shut me up. I tell ya what…it worked, whoo!! Seriously though, that's the best acting job I had seen in my entire life, up until that point. Was confused as hell, even questioning whether or not that woman was possessed or something. That's the first time I had seen 3 different people come out of one body in a matter of minutes. Some trippy shit.
Could it be they just changed there mind?! It's hard to believe they mask there life for years
fuck sake mate what a ride lol
my mother used to do this when i was much younger, even in a debate where she was in the wrong, she started crying and the guilt made me comfort her…from an age i was too young to even remember how old i was but thats all i knew, i had to look after her and the crying started when she had no defence of her erratic bad behaviour…i was taught to always look after her but still that was never good enough. it would be a blessing if it was against the law for narcs to have children, broken souls come out of this type of invisible abuse, it breaks my heart the world doesn't care about it. another injustice to humanity
Wow, that really sucks you had to live with such people. I can't imagine what it'd be like to live with such overt narcissism.
My mother would never be overt in public, as what she cares about most is the image of her that those other than her children sees. Everyone told me, growing up, how sweet my mother is, and how lucky I am to have her as a mother, but then at home she'd let loose this furious bull in her and be as far from sweet as possible. Is it sweet and such awesome mothering to run after your son while furious with a loose baseboard in your hand that has nails in it?? I, personally, don't think so. That was one of the big family secrets – what my "mother" was really like at home. She was to be the perpetual victim, somehow, that everyone should love and feel sorry for. And a big part of that act of hers is her self-love tears.
I've been No Contact with her for maybe five years now, though I haven't changed my phone number and she calls a few times a year leaving messages for me. Each of them is a very pathetic and weak attempt to try to maintain some kind of relationship with me, and of course to get me back into her life. Almost all of them she ends with: "the door is open on my end," to point out to me how it's all my fault the relationship is broken, and how innocent she is in the matter, as well as how loving she is as to keep her end open for me. She's also said that she's apologized for everything that she could, which she knows is a flat-out lie that I would never buy, but it's what she wants to believe about herself – that she's a perfect angel about all this while I'm the evil villain, who's, as she's convinced everyone, mentally ill. Poor her – her crazy daughter is hurting her so much by cutting her off for no reason! Let's all watch her cry, and cry for her!
The last time, I think, that she called and left a message was just before 2015 ended, saying as usual that she thinks about me everyday, wants to know I'm doing well, that she misses me, and that the door is open on her end. This time, however, she started crying (though she's teared up in messages before,) but rather than crying about how much she misses me, she got into this extra weird manipulative mode, saying through the tears a very mysterious, "I just want this year to be over with!". Course, what goes through your mind when you've been out of contact, but to wonder what's happened this year that's so horrible it ruined the whole calendar year for her. And she knows my whole life I've not only been very empathetic, wanting to rush to the aid of hurting people, but also very curious as a personality trait. Course, she never said why the year was so bad, wanting to use that to get me to call, soothe her, and ask her what's been happening. And I tell ya, I was more tempted to call than I'd like to admit to myself – not only to soothe her, as I can't help but feel inclined to do despite knowing it's all manipulation and her own self-pity, but to find out, in part out of fear and concern, what horrible things have happened. Thankfully I stuck to my guns and didn't, though the questions and concerns still nag me in the back of my mind.
Thing is, I had a very close and long-term friend who saw a lot of what I went through at the hands of my family, who understood and empathized with my plight with them, hating them and not being able to stand them, who ended up essentially ditching me FOR them because she got into a relationship with my brother that everyone thought would end up in marriage, (which it didn't, as it was a very sick relationship they both couldn't stand after eleven years,) and he wanted to go along with the new family script that the bad times in the family were past, and now everyone is sorry and everything is wonderful (which is craziness itself). Anyway, she was in contact with them while I wasn't, and she (who I've since left for probably being a narc herself,) told me some very interesting things about my "mother" and her real attitude about me and my cutting them off. She said, (after my brother left her for someone else and my family ditched her accordingly,) that she was amazed at how little my "mother" cares for me. … I hate that it does, but that does really hurt. … She said that my family talks about how I must be mentally ill, especially for cutting them out of my life, (which "mother" started as a controlling accusation when I was a teenager; I'm 31 now). But also that she gets, I got the impression of from her, mean and insulting about me. That's in keeping with how she's always talked to her kids about the other kids, but this is while she supposedly is pining after me as an innocent, angelic victim of my heartless craziness. Not only that, but she even admitted in front of this friend that she's been intentionally keeping family news from me, (without even telling me she's doing it, so how that's supposed to be effective, I don't know,) just to use that to get me to come crawling back, (presumably out of concern and curiosity).
So this last phone call seems to have been intentionally more manipulative than ever, with her fake tears going full-force, and her trying to bait me with such vague notions of huge family tragedies. I don't know how she doesn't know or believe that I'm onto her – I've been obviously onto her all my life, and have been basically the only one to call her out, which I made sure was as clear as I could make it. Thing too is that she never cared about my genuine tears, which I opened up and let her see plenty enough of so that she could understand just how I was feeling. Maybe she doesn't believe others' tears because her own are fake, and all out of self-love.
Here's a real kicker, and then I'll end this long narrative:
My family, (my mother's, that is,) has a tradition of going out to Old Country Buffet once a year to collectively celebrate everyone's birthdays, which is just after my mother's, (because of a cluster of family birthdays at that time of the year). During the last one I went to, my mother's sister gave her a birthday card that she made herself, (which my aunt does, and is stupidly very proud of, as she is wont to be). This card had a picture on the front of my "mother" as a baby. Upon seeing a picture of herself on the front of a card, and it of her being how she wants to be viewed – an innocent, angelic baby – she started to outright cry, right there in the restaurant…clearly out of pure self-love.
They don't cry for you, they only cry for themselves.
Yep! My mom's classic tool of tears. Whenever I won an argument she would start bawling and tell everyone how mean I was.
My mother actually made herself sick last summer knowing tha both my sister and I had only four weeks off. Of course my sister the golden child had to go back to her life and the same day she left my mother just wouldn't get up anymore and I had to put dipers on her. She wore those diapers for a month and I should say my back is not well I can hardly take care of my own home and there is no way I can take a job that requires a lot of standing up. I actually feel like an invalid I can can not live a normal life anymore. I begged my mother to put her in a home while her broken rib heald. The answer she gave me was "Oh you want to put me in a home so you can go and have fun? NO way YOU will take care of me" I was chocked with her responce, luckaly I had my oncle there so he saw the whole thing, but non the less she still lyes about that. My mother don't even cry anymore, atleast there are no tears to be sean. Anyway from Christmas till now I have gone no contact with her. I have tryed to educate my sister about this, but she can't beleave that our mother is capable of doing these things. Of course she can't, she is the golden child, beacause when my sister returned last summer after four weeks my mother was preparing herself to get out of bed and started to use the toilett so her golden child never changed a dyeper. She sucked the life out of me on the other hand.
This is a great video im sorry u have to deal w a mother like that
I am so glad you are telling all of this because you KNOW friends and family are watching these, and the sick shit parents hate that, being exposed this way…..lol…..serves them right. What a pair of losers.
God I really hate your parents. Like, hate. Because they are like my narcissist. They should not even be allowed to live.
LOL… "Fake waterworks"… funny
It's funny the crazy imprints left firmly in our minds from our past due to our parents antics. Then they tell that we're grown, we should be okay. xc
OR to get people to side with their twisted versions of truth and team up with her to do her dirty work.
They cry as a control technique. It's to stop you from challenging them or exposing them or getting them to admit truth.
Your videos make me realize that I'm not the one who was crazy in my problem relationships and my thoughts and feelings were legitimate. Thank you.
Too bad a right-minded truck driver didn't put her into an embankment ….
Wow your mom and grandma sound exactly like my manager at work. One day as I was coming back from lunch I told her someone parked really so close I had to enter from the passenger side. She told me next time someone parks that close to key/scratch their car real good to teach them a lesson. She said she scratches/keys other peoples cars if they park to close. I saw her cry real tears a few times but it was tears over her own issues. I've seen her take things off the desk from those who were at lunch and laugh about it. She says she lives with a man whom she says is her boyfriend yet she wears a huge wedding ring and still uses her maiden name. I think she does this so she can cheat. She tells different stories to different people. She is a control freak, pathological liar and con artist. I found out everything she has said to me were all lies! The only reason why she recently became manager and got that position is through manipulation and lying. Either people are easily fooled or can't see the facade or don't want to see.
Also, they feel everything SO much deeper than anybody else. Haha!. Erm, no you don't! You just can't imagine the feelings of another person, therefore, your feelings are the only feelings. Such huge jerks! I used to think I had a confidence problem. Now I realise I had a narcissist one. They are EVERYWHERE. But when they are close. Dump them. Fast! Great videos Ollie.
I'm glad you talk about it. my mother is the same way. i want to kick her selfish ass
Crocodile tears and garbage lies and bullshit. I was always amazed how these degenerates always seem to have the nerve to come back, pumped up and raging mad based on their own fabricated lies, at the same people that they destroyed with their lies.
sounds like the big T
So, so true.
A few years ago, my dad literally made a huge deal/picked a fight about skipping through the commercials in a movie he had recorded and was watching with me.
Yep.
Literally.
That's all that had started it.
Long story short, when it was over, and he talked to my mom at lunch when he was at work, he managed to control the conversation somehow to make her admit that I've felt threatened by his presence for a long time.
The moment that he got home after that, he gave me my allowance (he was just itching to get into what he really wanted to talk about, though. So I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was timed at that moment only to further guilt me into talking to him), and demanded to know why I felt that way. He's only ever emotionally abused me, mind you. And not always (on a daily basis) in a very "typical" narcissistic type of way, I guess you could say. He sees himself as a Christian (most of my family does, and I am one as well. By choice), so I guess he's a "Christian Narcissist" or whatever.
That, and my mother mostly doesn't put up with his bullshit. Anyway.
Other than two whole comments near the end of his rant, I didn't even look at him much, let alone say anything.
The whole gist of what he was saying was basically the classic: "I'm not the one that thinks we have a problem here, it's just you," "I'm giving you your last chance to say something and try to get things fixed," "You know I would never do anything to hurt you. At least I hope you do, because if you don't think I wouldn't die to defend you, then you don't know me at all," "I certainly don't want to stick around with a family that doesn't want me (aka: trying to scare me by hinting he'd file for a divorce "if I didn't say anything to try and fix the problem"), but it's up to you if I go or stay," "You won't even look at me or talk to me as if I'm some sort of animal," "This isn't how family is supposed to treat problems that come up for them (no shit)," and so on and so on.
At first, he started off as stern, and even a little bit angry. When that wasn't getting me to talk? Switched over to crying. Oh, he cried real tears, and everything. It really deserved an Oscar. But it still felt fake, and he had done this sort of things plenty of other times before.
Sort of like your dad, too. "Too macho" to cry when I was younger, but finally "mastered" it when I was a little older.
The only time I said anything was to tell him I didn't want to get into it, because whenever I tried to say anything to him about this sort of stuff it always went up in flames. And when he tried to half change the subject to only focus on the issues he had with my mother. (His supposed point was to be that this was how a typical family lived/behaved, and how a typical marriage went through.)
To which I pretty much simply said that that was a bunch of crap, and only his opinion, which I absolutely did NOT share.
He finally walked out saying, "Alright, well, this is the last chance I'm gonna give you to say anything. So if you don't speak up now, then that's it. It's all on your head, if you don't."
It didn't even end there. Pretty much the entire summer after that (so almost 3 months straight), he would use the smallest excuse to come into my room. He didn't always try to "suppress tears," or randomly start talking about something "sentimental" every single time he came in, but it was still very, very often that he did.
As a small example, one time he came in to tell me something about some toilet paper, and the next thing I knew, he was teary-eyed, and pausing as he talked in order to keep from supposedly crying in front of me.
Utterly pathetic.
Several days after my mother's death, my step father tried very hard to act upset, with little results. It was frightening to see him try to contort his face in some strange act of crying…but there were no tears, just a dark, frightening, strange expression. I will never forget this eye-opening experience. It reminded me of that blank, dark-eyed emptiness within the eyes of some demon possessed person in a movie. Wow, it was a bone-chilling thing to see.
I've watched my oldest sister cry crocodile tears and carry on just like your describing many times, just as fast as she can turn it off when she doesn't have an audience. Remember narcissists are really good actresses!
This is oftentimes so true or when there are tears they only arrive after loud wracking sobs that have gone on and on and on for a long time — real tears would have appeared before this time frame and many people who are truly heartbroken do not want to show it to that degree….
This Vid is hilarious, but I took it vary seriously,,,thank you for this,, I'm going through the same thing!!!
My NFather always cried over nothing all the time then would call me overly sensitive or emotional if I got hurt and upset by his (what he said "I'm only joking") nasty comments. If we got hurt we weren't supposed to cry consequently even when I broke my ankle I didn't really cry. Oh and the crying, and then rage I know all too well. He could get angry at a drop of a hat then snap back to normal like nothing happened. Thanks for your videos.
i call the fake tears crocodile tears.i just look at them while there trying to cry.and i think to myself.give me a break.lol
Check out this video on YouTube:
My NM would go into full on spectacle mode where she would fake shaking her whole body in an attempt to show others how distraught and upset whatever I said to her made her feel. What a horrible person I was to do this to her own mother. The old "Do you see what i mean? Do you see what she does to me!?" "After all I've done for her!"
I've seen crocodile tears with her face all screwed up, pretend sobbing, then rage and actually foaming at the mouth. I was always waiting for her head to start spinning around.
Using fake tears from an illness is one I remember. Waiting till the holidays to bring on the really big tears. Narcs notice that holidays are a great time to manipulate people who hate them. This tactic of fake crying shows their sociopathic natures. They observe people and see that they are controlled by their emotions so they work accordingly to manipulate them. Same with using religion.
This reminds me of video I saw before: Road Rage: Racist Lady Threatening Man & Acting Crazy After Almost Getting Into An Accident! This is just like my borderline relative.
I'm amazed at the fact that you as a child growing up in that chaos didn't follow suit in her footsteps. After all, your mother picked up where grandma left off. That's awesome on your part.
Oh my goodness my mother is such a big manipulator just like you described.