CLICK “show more” to see the major red flags and what to do about them here… (please feel free to add your own in the coments) 1. do you frequently find their …
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“Dont Get Fooled Again” Red Flags of Narcissist Relationships
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Just stumbled onto this. OMG! It's so true about the gift giving…………..Wow! Thanks for this!
Haha! What about your narcissistic father not giving you gifts at all? Not even on your birthday or Christmas.
Great video, Richard! Thank you so much for what you do. You have helped me more than you will ever know.
Some thing that I would like to add based on too much experience:
* If a person says anything that is just weird, odd, etc, do not take it as a joke. My favorite narcissist quipped "You must be really hot for me!" when I took off my coat on the train. This was something I did every time we saw each other. It stunned me and I brushed it off as a dumb joke. Now I know better….
I like what you have to say and you appear to know your stuff. But didn't like the Obama clip. There may be many reasons that an African American does/has had to "appear" differently with whites than with other African Americans. Check out any historical literature or novels from Southern writers or from those who've researched this. I find Obama to be empathetic. Perhaps you didn't mean for it to come across this way or perhaps you were referring to others in the clip and not the African Americans. Just saying'
I think using Obama example is a bad one. He is culturally competent. Someone who can act appropriately in different culture. That's my only complaint. You are pretty good on everything else.
So true on the gifts..my ex's bunch was pack full of narcissists..unbelievable crazy crap gifts. My mom too (hence why I married one the first time..it felt "normal" ).
THANK YOU!
Crappy gifts… he tried to give me a book. Actually quite an interesting book. It was second-hand but to a book lover, that means nothing. So why was it crappy? Because his ex had given it to him. I recoiled instinctively.
I can be extremely negative and critical but it only comes when i try to help people. Right now im telling people to keep there information to themselves because narcissist will wait to attack you. Benjamin Franklin could be critical but he studied how to win arguments from a intellectual stand point.
I would like to touch on the comment of Narcissists having negative emotions or always being in a negative state. The Narc I am living with always claims that they are positive people and I am always called the pessimist or just generally I am always made to feel that I am a negative person. I would like to know what your take on this as I constantly question whether or not I am capable of being positive for being called negative for a long time. Thank you for your videos. They are really helpful.
I think you'll find this interesting: my ex narc BF that is also an alcoholic, an extreme alcoholic that can't feel any positive emotions when sober watched Good Will Hunting OBSESSIVELY when he drinks. Over and over and over. Knows the movie by heart.
Oh my god I have been trying to get over the most destructive cruel experience of my life . If only I had read this two years ago. Thank you from bottom of my heart I have finally woken up and realised what it was that destroyed me. He was a narcissist!!!
I think a big one that you touch on but don't call out is that their words don't match their actions. I briefly corresponded with a guy on a dating site whose profile said "laid back". the first time we talked he was almost hyper active – and (like you mentioned) hyper critical of almost everyone. I cut off all contact with him immediately. I think that's one of the biggest things to watch for, inconsistency between words and actions.
lots of things come to mind from this clip. old upload. dunno if its tended to… by the end i wonder the different n weird relation w being tought to not let people down. @ home i learned no one forces me to do nothing. nag thou n slightly dysfunctional. (community! get real!) out in the community i was schocked there is authority n random adults believe being one. now i am like A in the O defensive. Narcissist-ish staljer demand i am too.
this fits me. Wow-eye opening. My father was abusive and had an on and off again relationship with an alcoholic for 13 years. No wonder i've been drawn to toxic, alcoholic narcissists. I want to break this cycle. I just broke up with my ex Narcissist/alcoholic 3 months ago. Worst break up ever. I still have to face him in court next week. The gifts part is spot on. He didn't even buy me a gift on my birthday or Valentine's day. He also did the marriage and kids thing right away! He would always call me Mrs. S (his last name). Such mind games!!!
I walked away and then got drawn back in destroyed my life. its like the godfather.
this wins the internet. wow best presentation and description and solutions for this dreadful condition. thank you for this.
God damn, I friggin LOVE you.
Skills not pills <3333
OH MY GOD I cannot believe what I'm hearing. You're completely describing my ex-husband to a T! Yes – he gave me crappy gifts too!!! And then he got angry at me for not appreciating his crappy gifts.
Using Obamas "black guy " handshake against him as a sign of narcissism? Sorry, dude but you are misunderstanding black Americans (and that guy was a sports figure, not a black CEO type or professor). If anything, Obama tends to stay pretty close to himself in most situations unless its a black church where he can loosen up a bit when he speaks.
After 6 months of marriage to my Narc I had still not received a wedding ring… In the 22 preceding months the only thing he gave me was a chocolate cupcake on Valentines day (or I should say at 2am the next day, when he got back from work drunk). So yeah, sometimes even NO gifts, no birthday gifts, no xmas gifts.
Crappy gifts on purpose for sure… first she gave me nice scented lavender soaps and when she said she would buy me more she went out and bought me regular ivory soap. Appreciated but quite comical
Never spend a dime
—> step one !!!That gift thing is spot on! I had a narc boyfriend, when I was much younger, he gave me earrings for my birthday…I didn't have pierced ears. HA
You. are . just. the. best. THANK YOU
Very nice. Thank you. I recently came across a masseuse, who reminded me of my previous narcissistic abuser. While watching and listening to him, I had a feeling like, "I've been here before." As he talked, it became clear to me that his sweet talk, his talking about how he could help me and his lack of boundaries meant that he was someone I wanted nothing to do with, and yet I was somewhat drawn to him. After the massage, I felt stunned and made another appointment to see him in two weeks. As the day went by after my massage, I realized that I do not want to ever see this man again and I texted him and cancelled the appointment. I could not say anything to him directly at the time, but I did end it. I am so grateful for my new-found instincts about people. Thank you for your straight forward explanations about codependency and narcissism.
Just use Miss Sally's Romper Room looking glass
about the gifts the gift wil be way nicer when they benifit from it example spa for 2 instead of a cheap shirt
I just died laughing!!! I haven't heard anyone else mention narcissists giving crappy gifts, but I have told a few people what my ex did. The gifts before we were married were over the top. I remember the first gift he gave me seemed too big too soon. It was a Christmas gift, and it was PERFECT. I actually eyed him suspiciously while opening it, but then I didn't trust my initial gut instinct. I thought something was wrong with ME for being paranoid. Then for valentines day, he bought me not one, but THREE dresses, heels, a purse, earrings, gloves, a dozen red roses, and a 5 star dinner. The next valentines day once we were married, I got chocolates and a teddy bear. A teddy bear? Really? Am I 5? I also don't like Russell Stover chocolates. For Christmas he actually wrapped me a box of poptarts. People can think, oh, he's just bad at gifts, but NO, he KNEW I did not like these things, and he wasn't bad at gifts BEFORE we were married. It's just another way of torturing you!
But I laugh about all of it now. 🙂 Well, most of it. (But seriously…. poptarts. hahaha)
Despite not knowing the names of these disorders, growing up, I know that my parents,sister teachers and classmates were wrong. I knew that love doesn't hurt. Back then, I knew of songs Respect, Can't Buy Me Love, I Will Survive, and The Theme from Golden Girls. How old are you? If you're my age, the theme song is called Thank You From Being a Friend. By the way, I have all of these songs.
OMG….I married my narc Father'….I'm so enlightened…. who knows how it will turn out… yup, he won't get help,,,, typical narc….fu@&
Excellent information. Thank you.
Spot on! I've been on this train of understanding for a couple of years now & answering yes to the first two questions (the first one to the greatest extent) is the basis for a lot of what has subsequently happened. When I was a kid people had no idea this kind of treatment even constituted abuse.
This is me. I have people pleaser syndrome. Thank you for your video and this important information!