If you are or have been in a relationship with a narcissist, you know they love to play games. There is only one way you can beat a narcissist at his own game …
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How to Beat the Narcissist At His Own Game
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thnk u, mrs. Atkinson. molto prattico (very practical.) 🙂 GBY.
great vid!!
Why is the perpetrator a HE?
preach sister preach. NO CONTACT. One more time. NO CONTACT.
And I'd like comments on this. These are my children. I don't talk to him now; last time I did was about this. It's just that my sons should no
Unfortunately the fool in my life, my brother, used my children to hurt me, like even when they were little children. No matter what I said, my mother would give a reason for Little Boy Blue to make him right. I should have broken off contact with her, but I didn't; sometimes she'd even make me feel sorry for her about other things. Now she's dead, my sons are older, but my sister is his enabler. He is afraid of confrontation, so she protects him. Especially the lies he makes up!
send them all a borderline he or she will wipe the floor with any of them
sorry…I hit send accidently … the cycle starts over again… and when you are so tired of the game tells everyone you are to blame? not my experience but someone near and dear to me.
what about the boyfriend who belittles you ask the time, then ignores you for days, while living with you… then later acts like nothing ever happened and then
You keep on saying he or him ……. I work at a church this is in the (top 10 professions that attracts the psychopath) they are the Extreme of the narcissistic mental illness……and yes there are some narcissistic Men here …but the majority are women … Or at least at this church …. Some professionals in the field are now questioning that there may be as many men as women …. Me knowing the red flags of the Narcissis have to agree that there is an equal amount men and women
You sound angry Angie. I'm sorry to hear that but it comes through. And to a large degree it discounts your clinical credibility…. I know that Narcissists are a bit difficult to understand but that's just because psychology isn't stressed in public schools as it should be. And there is a very good reason for that but lets not stray from the subject at hand.
As a functional narcissist who is interested in psychology I want to make it clear that the narcissist is not a psychopath and should not be described as one. The psychopath is always dangerous while the narcissist is only dangerous when dealt with by people who can't take a hint or can't bear not to have their way…. We are not chronic lair's, we can value truth, we can possess a creative spark and we can be high performance individuals with a team spirit …. Not to mention……. we really like sex…… from an animalistic and not possessive point of view… Whats wrong with that?…. Good sex is awesome……. the politics of modern sex leaves a lot to be desired.
The narcissist isn't born this way Angie. We are products of our early surroundings. Surroundings that are unpleasant or unloving enough as to cause a regular person to develop an alternative reality. It's a survival mechanism that allows the existence of children to continue in the face of adverse conditions. We don't loose our sense of compassion, empathy or a sense of accountability when we move to the alternate reality… These things come with us so don't paint us as monsters Angie.. Psychopaths are monsters…… Narcissists are mostly the products of psychopaths….. or neglect…. or both….. And it's a modern American trend.
Your living in a dysfunctional culture Angie. It produces millions of narcissists as a result of outrageous demands upon the American household combined with the marketing of shallow values and the self centered glorification of ones self that's being smeared across the mainstream media…. 24/7.
You talk about us like we are nothing but poison when that's not true. And I can't speak for anyone but myself but I'll speak for myself by saying……. What's wrong with having a harem?.. I've had what was described as a harem a few times in my life… What's wrong with that?…… If a person is up front about not being hooked on commitment but you still find them attractive, fun, helpful, interesting, funny and did I mention attractive… What's the problem?…. You have a choice… But you have to let the narcissist keep his or her independence or you'll begin to destroy the relationship. Not because the narcissist broke the rules…. The other player tried to change the rules.
Once again I'll say that it's a shame people don't learn this stuff in school because dealing with personality traits is a part of everyone's everyday life on multiple levels. If a person cares to get good at it they need to understands the in's and out's of personalities and what can be predictably expected in the presence of each. It's not brain surgery….. it requires an understanding that revolves outside of ones own limited reality and not much more. And with narcissists being as easy to spot as other personality types we would all be much happier if players would not step in possessing a complete misunderstanding of what it is they are volunteering for…. It's not a question of demonizing the narcissist but more of a question of understanding narcissistic limitations.
Those who don't get frustrated by trying to control or manage people like me find that we deliver a great deal to those who help us get our basic needs met without creating unnecessary DRAMA…. That means there is a healthy exchange there… In fact.. if you look at energy out for energy in you'll find that people like myself give way more on the give and take scale…. and in many cases, because the exchange is quite often sexually related we are still giving even when we collect…… So what are you complaining about?…
Are you mad because you couldn't assign ownership over one or more people? Trust me because I've lived it a dozen times… Women who say they are not possessive and want to play… Great… You give them the talk and let them know what's going on. Things go well at first… at least the sex is interesting….. That's right… I said interesting…. Interesting sex is good sex. Boring sex is better than nothing but not by much….. Then suddenly, most of these women forget the ground rules and start playing by their rules…… That marks the beginning of the end…… So Poor baby didn't tame the beast….. What did you learn?…. Not much if your attacking narcissists….
Angie… Why don't you re-think your opinion and start teaching people how to spot and enjoy the narcissist?…… I can't speak for all of them and I'm sure they come in all shapes, sizes and mood colors but unlike the psychopath, the narcissist can make very good friends, excellent companions, trusted allies and be moralists to a very high degree. They can be entertaining, good in bed, up beat, highly educated and caring beyond a fault… And they will give give give….. as long as you are willing to play their game and give back what is needed…… Just don't try to own one….. It's not an unreasonable exchange when approached with honesty…… . Is that too simple?
ok, you leave but then he still gets the reward ( He won) that not fair. when the victim leaves they are not suffering. I'm not leavening just so I can make life difficult for him as he turned my life upside down and lit a match. I can live with him and continue to smile in his face until I get the recourses needed to move.
The only way to win is to set yourself free.
For ALL OF YOU nice people (after all only NICE people fall victims of narcissists) if any of you know about a song (or more) that describes a "breakup with a narcissist/passive-aggressive relationship" i would really appreciate it. There are too many of us suffering silently because the ones who never experienced it wouldn't believe us. Any suggestion is welcome, but it has to be in english, since my narc. partner only speaks english. I hope you all heal from this terrible experience and Thank you all in advance!!!
Your video intro is the coolest!!
leave! love it! 🙂 thank you!
Thank you for the post.
Love it hahaha
Yes,Yes and YEEESSSSS! Thanks Angie.
The humor is driving the point home, and so badly needed with the topic at hand. I am no contact now two mo the for the last time , I broke it all year long I could not exactly understand d what was happening until I got online and figured out I had been abused for 5 years and it was classic I mean every trick in the book. I don think I can break no contact after watching this !
Excellent advice! Just walk away, take your ball and go home. You have all the cards! If you can't practically leave the narcissist, simply go Gray Rock. Without a reaction to his/her toxic words/behaviors/antics, s/he loses all interest in you and looks for a more willing victim.