Intuitive Counselor Christine Pavlina discusses the signs of someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. http://www.christinepavlina.com/
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Are You Dating a Narcissist?
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narcissists are not necessarily sociopaths. Narcissists can be psychopaths who are completely aware of the impact they have on others. I am a narcissist, and believe me I am entirely capable of empathy….selective suppression is another thing entirely.
I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO MORE SYMPATHY FOR MY NARC EX. 12 years with this psycho.
He knows I hate him. He knows almost everyone hates him once they get to know him. He doesn't even care. Anyway, that's a psychopath.
This sounds like my ex
Thank you I loved what you said in the beginning of the video. I experienced how a relationship like this can degrade your sense of self-esteem, so for that reason I don't think its the person's fault for not having enough self-love like you said, or for putting up with it. It messes with your mind and it literally does change how you feel about yourself… even if you are someone who normally has a lot of confidence.
OMG he still literally say %100 MY FAULT
With a Narcissist 12 yrs! Sucked into a twister death by 1000 cuts exactly right. I'm divorced now and in therapy last 8 months yes also I'm pretty, muscular body, masters degree, professional. Twisted myself into a pretzel, thought I was going nuts, I could never make it work no matter what I changed, what I did, what I didn't do etc… He said I was worthless, raged with empty eyes looking at me. Yes he's very into himself he is never wrong. He says the divorce was % 100 my fault. That it was 12 yrs of shit and I quote. Oh did I mention I gave him great sex also 98% of the time he wanted? No I was never enough. Unfortunately I have a precious 6 yr old daughter with him. Yup two weeks after we decided to divorced he was already dating someone!
Another thing people forget is that falling in love with one doesn't mean you always have low self esteem, but they're so manipulative that they make you think they're everything you want, and then once your heart is deeply involved, they slowly reveal themselves, and for someone who rarely falls in love or doesn't fall easily, you will be trapped by this person due to the connection you already forged with them, and they make you feel powerless and like you cannot leave. It is technically a deeply abusive relationship.
This is a brilliant quick video on narcissistic personality disorder abuse for people who are just discovering it in a nutshell or anyone. It's so true about being zapped into a vortex with the narc because whist your inside this hypnotic world of love bombing and fake empathy and fake everything it's like you are high on drugs and when the narc is done he/she really does throw you in the trash and you are left traumatised! In cold turkey. You can not explain this type of abuse to anyone because it is a silent abuse. If anyone is feeling off about someone they must get out pronto! But in most cases most people don't realise what is going on until you've been trashed by a narc and that's when you start to get your power back! Love this video!
Your truly right Christine! The showboat narcissists! has to be the bride at every wedding! And the corpse at every funeral! Lol drama queens, and drama kings! To get out of the drama you have to die to the person they want you to be, so to speak, thanks for your insight
spot on. 3 years of being with a narcissist. I broke up with him…took me 2 years to work him out…. a year to break it off.
i just figured out i have a narcist boyfriend. i had a headache x2 days and he's watching game and pounding on couch. i had gel pack on head, i asked him if he'd stop pounding on couch nicely. he said go to bed, i knew you would take the enjoyment out of the game, I'm just going to go home and watch it. he ended up walking home and cussing at me. i have never seen him show emotion. and will mock the way i walk if i have pain in hips. he says I'm drama. he has no boundaries, and has walked in bathroom and filmed me using toliet or taking pics that i would hate to go online. i want to end it, but will now seek some pics he'd hate or get a video of him looking dumb. i predict those dumb pics will be used against me. when i leave him. its amazing these people really have a way to make you feel crazy.
You nailed it. They really think we should be grateful for any of their time. They love throwing people under the bus who don't feed their ego or have bruised their ego. Great video.
Great Video. You might look up information about "Covert Narcissism" so you don't fall prey to that kind. Look up Richard Grannon or Spartinlifecoach.com. Keep healing.
I view them as heartless! They don't love you at all, but they love themselves my ex is perfect scored to everything you mentioned 😉 very well on the spot! And I dated a lot too! They're the only kind of guys I don't cry for. They don't apologize, they don't care when you cry. What happens to me? I end up falling in love with someone else, so when I broke up with the last one for someone else I'm more willing to be serious with whom is not a narcissist like him, he may not argue with the guy, but he bashed us both on his Facebook. Like we're the bad ones, the evil ones and he's this good one who seemed innocent and it was very very irritating attitude of him so we did nothing but to move and if ignored him
I find it curious that you got so attached to such a flawed person that required two years of therapy. Wasn't it obvious?
Omg Are we Soul Sisters?! Lol I was soooo meant to see this video today. I'm married to a narcissist and for years I just couldn't understand how he could be so emotionally detached and his lack of empathy was just so damaging to me… I could go on and on.. I'm playing "Nancy Drew" too now. It was just kind of a relief to be able to put a name to his behavior… He is a malignant narcissist. So draining…
this is a definition of overt it's the covert or vulnerable ones who are harder to spot
Thanks for giving kudos to sam vaknan, his work is amazing.
They suck you into their vortex. They are vain. at first, they do act thoughtful though. Mine portrayed himself as the most thoughtful, protective, gentleman.
thanks!! i just broke up whit a narcisist for 5 years i was sufering ,now i set myself free from him! now its healing time! i can onley say he was a monster to me
recently dated one for about 2 months and dropped him.. I love my intuition.
I was married to one for 27 1/2 yrs. It wasn't until a few months before he died of a heart attack that I realized he was one.
can they change ?
This is pretty accurate except for points 3 and 5 (also 6, but only partially).
If the person in question has an apparent lack of empathy, they are no longer a narcissist but begin approaching Antisocial Personality disorder (psychopath). A narcissist will have empathy, but only for those whom genuinely deserve empathy in their eyes. Their perceived lack of empathy is more so selective empathy (If they believe you have no justification in being upset, they will not care that you are. However, if they feel you are justified, for example because of the death of a relative, they will generally show empathy.) Their emotions are generally consciously controlled through avid use of the defense mechanism intellectualization, allowing them to logically conclude when is and is not an appropriate time to exhibit an emotion in question.
Additionally, the narcissistic supply is not so much your individual self complimenting the person in question, but rather you acknowledging their patent superiority with equal priority as you would any other topic. They believe if you don't acknowledge their superiority you must be incompetent not to see it, thus they break up with you.
Regarding their lack of responsibility, as you phrased their mentality "that this relationship failed 100% because of you" , your description is innately flawed because it assumes that a reason must be present for the relationship to fail, that the null hypothesis would be a successful relationship whereas the narcissist will view it the opposite, that a reason must be present for the relationship to succeed. Because the narcissist is considering the relationship from their perspective exclusively, they will simply list the reasons why you don't meet their criteria. They're not saying the relationship failed because of you, but rather that a relationship with them and you will not work because you exhibit behaviors x, y, and z, though they will never specify between you and them because that would legitimize the relationships of others which they likely deem primitive and illegitimate.
This is so accurate. My female live-in partner has this problem. At first I didn't see this coming because of course she has alot of attention and admiration from me a that time.
Although there are signs but I ignored cause I really love this girl.
Fast forward, she got pregnant and got a child. Her narcisstic attitude started to get worst because she now shares the attention of our kid which makes her jealous.
She always starts an argument and this and that. That shes this and she feels that. What she feels matters more than anything else. Even if it meant having to starve our kid.
She always takes selfie, Checks her makeup, Wears very short pants to show off her butt. She spends alot of Facebook that one time I got home from work and found our kid with dirty clothing and diapers dripping with feces cause mom's too busy with her hair, makeup and stuff…too busy with herself..
I remembered one night where our kid has a fever and shes deep sleeping. I tried waking her and all she said was "I AM SO SLEEPY AND TIRED…." she sounded like someone whos dying with cancer. So I had literally bring our kid to the hospital all by myself…
She seem to find it amusing to raise an argument and is obsessed on always being right. She always wants that she wins in everything. And that shes always right.
I really did my best to understand her and keep myself calm but you know she starts calling you names. Or putting the world in your shoulder why your relationship has gone wrong..
It was really really hard..
So when shes had enough she brokes up with me. Takes the kid with her and leave. A few days later, she comes back saying – your kid keeps looking for you etc etc.. and then we are back again… and then a month or two .. we started fighting and then broke up again…. its really frustrating..
Its like a roller-coaster ride .. dealing with this kind of issue over and over again.
And now I am all alone cause we had an argument and she left the house with the kid.
I felt like I am losing my mind till I found this video and I felt a little bit better now. Thank you.
Yes, #3 is the most damaging of all. I have learned to hide most of my feelings from my partner because there have been times throughout the 17 almost 18yrs that showing my feelings only fueled his attacks. Thank you for sharing:-)
omg. these people. and in the core of my heart i still don t want to believe that they can be some cold hearted…….lack emphaty,, even though he did to me, exactly what you spoke about. dangerous
I was dating a narcissist drunk for 6 months and every point you have mentioned is spot on. Even tho he was an alcoholic I got him help and spent so much time and effort on him to do this he has been clean for 2 months. But I called it off cos it got too much. But he displayed every aspect that you have stated. Only now that's have researched it to gain some clarity that it all makes sense. I did blame my self, but after his mum told me that I was a nice girl and can do better it made me realise…..oh he also blamed his ex for his alcoholism.
The narcissists kryptonite is your phone camera.. just start recording them when they act like that.. its even funny to see them hiding from the camera !
this is soo true. twister twisted
This guys ? not that i think its intentional but there are a lot of man who are afraid to come foward that they had a narcistic girlfriend.
Still taboo that there are man suffering from narcistic abuse too.
I dated a person with NPD and depression for two years as well – so couldn't agree more….you are doing a good job sending this caveat out to the world! You got all observations right – bulls eye!
Your welcome, you've inspired me to make a few videos on the same subject and I even made a few song videos about it as well 🙂 When you get time, could you checkout my videos? Your viewing and input is important to me. Thank you – Happy Easter.
I enjoyed watching your video, I learned a lot – thank you.