The fastest way to get a narcissist boyfriend/girlfriend to take off is to be nice and boring, but if your goal is to ‘temporarily’ keep the narcissist around, then one …
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How To Keep A Narcissist From Leaving You
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Not all narcissist stay with other narc people. My ex narc left me for a narc like himself but he couldn't take her raging. It messed up his image of being a great guy with his business associates. After all, their image by others is very important. This woman would answer his phone and interrogate female customers. As a result, it ruined his business. Plus, he didn't like at all she tried to keep him from fooling around on her. That was the last straw and he immediately ended the relationship once her action was going to cause him to be sued.
I agree, but it might not work with sociopaths, they like the submissive codependent type and won't put up with borderline rollercoaster shananigans.
Mine is about to have the mother of all TURN ONs then, haha…
Great info.. Very impressive. Next level empowering strategy for the target.. Also, I agree with the borderline/narc dynamic.
Girl I love you so much! This totally makes sense! I did it with my borderline narc. To start I have to say that my ex boyfriend best friend is an addicted narcissist I totally understand why those two are inseparable, they sort of destroy each other but they are "enjoying" it. I wanted to keep him a little bit longer just to gain some time before the final breakup because I was still into the mind programming of the love bombing phase, obviously at that time I didnt know that but I sensed I only needed sometime to put myself back together before I left. So, I became a mess, indifferent, crying, passive aggressive, then feeling guilty and being overly nice but I didn't leave and still got his full attention. I could have continued like this but I gained strength to walk away, then I froze and he became insane and jealous, zero narc supply so he left, we really needed the time to heal and learn. Online communities have provided excellent recovery tools and support. This relationship lasted 3 years and the reason was because I was not into him for 2 years. I cheated on him, never took him seriously and still I was love bombed. I though it was real love so at the moment I started to fall inlove he started to be really mean until he discarded me being abusive. Ridiculous! haha I know now that borderline narcs, love more exes, what they cant have, Im happy to be what he cant have! Im having a blast establishing limits! Lets see who is laughing now!
so when i yelled and screamed about being kicked out of the bedroom it turned him on?
Thank you Sacha!!!!! You are videos are helping me beyond belief!!!!
This is very accurate. I notice that when i act a fool with him and tell him that he doesnt have the guts to forget about me, he smirks and we are back to loving each other.
Get them a big TVv, they will find their way to the most vile violent programming and keep self entertained for hours…
Sadly enough, I too think that it explains many of my relationships as being the bpd – esque person, being more attracted to the narcissistic personality, and being less internally protective against the narcissist personality…
I think my bpd esque traits were actually what brought those persons toward me…I previously thought that it was the kindness aspect…but i think she is right..it was the moments of deep kindness and terrible aloofness and anger that I think attracted those personality types to me…
I feel like I just got out of narc jail, I just looked up at the blue sky and I am free free free oh no I just felt love for him again yikes God help me
I never had a good non drama none abusive. I think I am afraid to have loving friend because they will open up the huge can of worms of my being abused. How can I make my self think loving people are not boring? Why do normal people stay away from me? I dont think I deserve a normal person but now I feel a shift in me saying I do deserve a normal loving person. I am normal and loving. I think the page has turned and I will be able to be with able instead of cain. Jealous hateful sabotaging murdering cain
THANK YOU! I found this so extremely helpful. I have been engaged to a newly discovered narcissist man. Well he lives in England and I moved a lot of my most precious and expensive possessions over there to him home. Now, I need those things back and need to get my stuff valued over $20,000 worth of property. I have been trying to figure out how to play it smooth until I can get my things. It's just all a game with them. Thank you!!!
My Narcissits relationship lasted 2 weeks and the other 2 weeks I was recovering– He made me completely NUTS!
WHY would you want them to stay!! OH PLEASE!
I used similar tactics after he'd driven me crazy before I could get out. I became reactive to things that didn't bother me so he would attack me where it didn't hurt, quit reacting to what did hurt, quit making eye contact, responded to monologues only with a rare uh-hu, ok, or hm, went OFF on like a crazy woman a few times to drive him back to hide out in his room, and became unpredictable. It kept him off balance but obsessed in some distraction. I put on a show in his presence.
Thank you Sacha :)
Your welcome 🙂 Also, you've inspired me to make a few videos about Narcissist too. When you get time, could out one of my video? Your viewing and input is important to me.
Awesome video.
You are absolutely on point. Ex narc had a 10 yr marriage fall apart with utter chaos, rage, fights, assault charges, u name it. I was the one that came after but I was too nice. I had learned from other narc relationships that anger is something they enjoy from me. So I quit losing my temper and diffused situations. Guess what…..discarded less than a mth later. He needed that disgusting evil air to be present to feel alive. Right b4 he moved onto new supply recently, he reached out to see if I still was harbor ing hard feelings….I said I had moved on, water under the bridge even tho I truly despise him. But the I don't care attitude/nice reply was too boring. He moved on 3 wks later. Poor girl.
Vile, evolutionary mistakes. Great descriptive, however sad.
I knew there had to be a little catch to the title. :)
I caved in on no contact, responded to his FB texts that I had been ignoring for a month, lured him into a pleasant conversation, called him on the phone, and eventually told him exactly what I thought of him…..I was fantastically mean and nasty. I then, sent mean texts and unfriended him…again. He responded with the most affection and concern for me he has shown in 6 months….so sick!! I told him he had NPD and what he does to his victims. I told him to get help. He has acknowledged he has problems psychologically in the past and has seen a therapist before. I doubt he will ever address his true sickness. He thinks he is a "good person."
I think you hit the nail on the head with this one! So so so sick!
You are the first person I have heard describe the sado sexual nexus of Narcs and 'supply'. I totally agree that they get sexual climax from gaining 'supply'.
In my city, there is a large SM brothel which works 24/7. I have wondered what this stuff is all about; but I expect it is all about victims of Narc Abuse finding comfort and release from childhood abuse? Personally I RUN the other way as I had enough!
… that is why they are incapable of being faithful in a relationship. They make the target emotionally unbalanced through their abuse, effecting the victim is their excitement /supply. You just cannot see this until you get out. The you can rediscover 'normal' life and interaction. It's actually wonderful. Brush off the glue /vomit /cobwebs and allow yourself to be healthy. Somatic pain goes away, your adrenal gland calms down. A sense of peace and wellbeing. Did I actually say that !?
My narc discarded me for a guy who took my job … after I was laid off, she demanded I strip online for money, then she dumped me for someone who took over my job duties a year later. She used to physically beat me up over the course of the 10 year relationship. She wanted an open relationship then got angry when I kissed someone else but she could kiss whoever she wanted and even had sexual relations with someone else! She took my savings and stole my underwear ! So weird and bizarre her relationship with the person I was dumped for was only 10 months and the person she dumped me for was called a narcissist by her! She was a cutter anorexic for years before we started dating but was always ocd, depressed hypochondria and angry getting into altercations all of the time . She now acts like she's this reformed amazing philanthropist despite what she did to me. She even called me racial slurs! But now does all this activism for women?! She said she dumped me because ultimately she just needed sex and I had health issues that were preventing me from having frequent sex she said she needed it 5 times a day 5 days a week!? despite working full time and going to school . The job she has she makes over 100 k i got her the job! I paid her rent gas food and entertainment for several years and this is how she repaid me !
It doesn't take much work to 'take on' a Borderline persona around them. They sort of demand that kind of whacked out grovelling behavior by the time they've let loose their narc-arsenal. Although I never did the "don't leave me I hate you" too much. In the end I just tried love, reason & niceness. However that seems to have gone over like a led balloon. I think you're right .They get stoned off of contradictory emotions being heaped on them. Gives them a chance to say: " You're the crazy one!!!"
Again you are correct.My narc turned me into a borderline;he loved it when I was acting crazy and out of control.Once I started meditating,I was able to ignore him.I started using the silent treatment on him and also pretended to be depressed.It drove him crazy;complained I was too quiet.He was so tormented by my silent treatment that he begged me to buy him a bus ticket to Kentucky…victory I said to myself.He put on such a show at the bus stop..saying how much he would miss me;I fed him the same garbage.He now calls everyday begging to come back then tried to hoover me.Says Kentucky is boring.I flipped it on him and now I am hoovering him..lmao!!!These clowns are actually very gullible once you are knowledgeable about narcissism. Your videos are great.I won!!! No victim here.
I just read what I wrote and how stupid am I? those are the red flags!!! Yes this dude is a narcissist and yes he is feeding off of my personality disorder I guess I had to write it out and see my own words
Anyone girl gets sexually aroused over my suffering is frickin' psychotic. That's serial killer shit !!!
Okay this is interesting I have a question I just met someone. I'm not sure he's a narcissist, I'm looking for red flags but either he's not old he's really really good at hiding it. So immediately within 3 days we started giving each other pet names , we started bonding and he shared a lot of personal information, I did too and today I told him I want to stop the pet names and just completely before platonic no flirting just friends here's my question his approach was because we met online I liked you because you had a certain sadness in your smile and I'm here to help you and he knows I have a drinking problem so I get very emotional and tell too much information and then I tried to pulled back and be normal again. is this guy's feeding off of my dysfunction???
I was left in complete confusion when I watched this work for someone. Now I understand. Thank you.
haven't seen my narc much. I ve turned down all his invites. He will even turn a 30 sec conversation into a narc fest
Trying to manipulate a narcissist is sort of self-sabotage if you're really sensitive-the toxicity level is just too high. Better to get away and find allies to help you from falling apart
what I don't like about narcs is that they require so much attention. it's hard to get anything done when they are around.
That shouldn't be hard since the narcissist likes to push buttons. Being nice didn't get my narc to leave. They just tried harder to cause chaos, covertly planting triggers to use later and build on. Mine was a psychopath it doesn't matter what you do with a psychopath, they just want to watch the world burn. Best to get away from them no matter the situation.
Yea this is so true omg! I can attest to this being true, they love drama and cannot stand boredom. If you act like nothing they do phases you they start to lose interest it's noticeable. They purposely do things to test you and get you to react and act crazy because then they can see that they have power over you and that excites them. I know this will sound terrible on my part but when I had cheated on a couple of past narcissists and came clean right away they were turned on by this. It was the weirdest thing. I was trying to make them break up with me or just to passive aggressively get back at them but instead it did the opposite lol! I can't say for sure that l'am a borderline but those traits seemed to get heightened by being with the narcissist. They induce emotional dysregualtion so maybe I just took on more borderline traits while around them.
I don't know why but I really like the way you say "disgusting" when describing narcissists, makes me laugh. Maybe it's the emphatic yet matter of fact way you say it but it's helped me to recognize and accept the disgust I feel in the presence of narcissists instead of denying the disgust and making excuses for their disgusting behavior.. I think the disgust we feel is like pain in that it's an alarm feeling telling us we're in danger. PS God is love.