A sneaky way to figure out whether a narcissist is triangulating you in a group setting + what “reverse triangulation” REALLY means. Also, updates on the …
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How To Know If a Narcissist is Triangulating You and Reverse Triangulation
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If someone's boyfriend was overly attentive to me like that I'd get uncomfortable and make it a point to keep the woman involved in the conversation. My inner "codependent" expects the same respect from other women as well.
I have women do that to me at work whenever I'm talking to a man. Two of them on seperate occasions will come over and take over the conversation by purposely only making eye contact with the man. It's wierd. What is that? I usually just walk away like I have to get back to work.
My narc has pulled the triangulation trick on me several times. Downright humiliated me…A woman friend of ours was having dinner with us and he would gaze into her eyes and talk to her and totally leave me out of the conversation…he would eat off her her plate as well and when I got up to use the bathroom he wouldn't let me back into the booth and just let me stand there in the aisle for like a full minute….which is a long time when you're being degraded like that. He'll make sure to NEVER tell me I look nice when we're going out and I"ve gussied up but he has no problem telling other women when we get to the event how nice they look….I now know what he's been doing and while I'm plotting my way out of this situation I have a better understanding of what he's doing and NOT react….which is what he wants.
Validate your interaction with the narcissist as being just that… Give no credence to the triangulation they are attempting to found… You can validate, the point they are attempting to make while being concrete in who you are and what you are bringing to the table. And, according to the response you receive, move forward or maintain the distance (emotional boundary) that exists on account of the attempted "triangulation". (Remain, one with yourself. Let them be who they are while openly maintaining and expressing who you are: Your inner life, light and beauty!)
YOU ARE SO BRILLIANT!!!
My ex would get dolled up for a "business" lunch and then come home smelling of a mans cologne…My brother called me naive. I fear he was right
Can't wait to get your book. I saw the review. Good work!!
Absolutely! Every time!
love it woo!
I find they attempt to turn your positive qualities into the negative versions of those qualities if they think you are confident or proud of them. Examples: If you're good looking they will call you vain. If you're confident you're obnoxious. If you speak well you're conceited/snobby. If you're compassionate you're weak. If you're strong you're aggressive and so on. I believe this is also a reason why many people get brainwashed by the manipulation and think the narcissist is actually right when they're telling them they're a bad person. Because there's a small kernel of truth wrapped in their delusional lies. They twist the truth into what they want to believe about you and because their lie is based on a truth it is very hard to separate the real you from the version of you they created to drag you down to their level. Even when you 100% know that you are not bad there's that tiny truth to it which will make you question yourself.
this helps me a lot! my narc boyfriend used to do this… he totally kiccked my ass because i was unaware that this could be done. He will be triangulated ;).
Yes! I have done this too, notice they just dropped the conversation with me… So I either begin another conversation with someone else… Or just straight up walk away and to another group of people… Like – see ya.
Hi,
I just bought the Kindle version after watching Deb's review. I have recently been watching and reading up after an abusive relationship and discard. I am so glad you share with us in our journey toward healing. When it first happened I questioned my sanity at times. After being guided to these resources I find I am not alone and not crazy. Thank you so much. I am very grateful for your sharing and resources. <3
Thanks for the shout out and for kind words!! This was one of the many great tips in the book! It's a way to prove to yourself that it's not your imagination. That they're really trying to set you off balance. Thanks :)
I'd agree with you. I've noticed that with narcissists that I've been with.
I will certainly be getting your book in paperback.
Awsom, will it be translated? German, french or spanish?