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27 thoughts on “How to speak to a narcissist

  1. I had an abusive father with VERY severe narcissistic personality disorder. Still today won't acknowledge any of his abuse. Not sure how to have a relationship with him cause he wants to have a relationship with me like nothing ever happened.

  2. I think you're confused between the egoists and the narcissists. Narcissists are strong, aware and well behaved with those who are "weaker" or those who don't match their level. Egoists are "cruel" in their behaviour with others and that's not the case with narcissists.

  3. Excellent information. No wasted words. Easy to listen. Clear and professional. Thank You.

  4. So it seems everyone has it. Some more than others, narcissist definition fits most kids.

  5. If you can afford to run away from a narcissict is ok but if you need to deal with one of them better hear this advice because is truly useful. This is the way I dial with any narcissict person I meet and it works. Comunication with them must be firm and clear and it has to be explained as a win win situation. We have to learn what we need to learn and stop complaning and live as victims.

  6. I've worked for two bosses I am sure had NPD. One would call me in for my annual review and talk the whole time about how great she was. She would send emails to my personal account telling me what a great leader she was and did I agree. She rarely got abusive. The next one is downright nasty and it comes very easy to her. It's all about her authority and your challenges to that, sometimes by merely existing. Anything I say is immediately twisted back as my fault and how I didn't handle it right. Everyone around her has learned to talk total nonsense and give nothing for her to catch onto. It's really sick but the money is good. I plan to leave as soon as I can get myself together and get out of there. Her boss just ignores it and lets it happen.

  7. attention span of a 4 year old…

  8. Empathy Deficiency Disorder…

  9. Bravo. I have noticed a few of these things over a half-century of my lifetime and doing with almost every person I've been close to. But I wasn't sure what I was seeing, especially having to speak confidently to them and not be demeaning about accident or to be passive with them. When you have been abused by one or two or more since you were born, being passive with your tail between your legs is about the only posture you can have. However it only makes them attack much harder & more intensely & frequently! with a narcissist, even the covert ones that I tend to deal with in my own life, everything seems to be an up-down PowerPlay, a power over chess game with rules and needs on their side which I do not even have awareness of.

    I wish I had known this long ago, and I cannot thank you enough for confirming it, helping me to understand in no uncertain terms how to interact with them!

  10. Narcissists are a breed all by themselves. I am done trying. why would one waste their energy on them. I have for 64 years. And I am so done. These are cruel people who take pleasure in ones hurt. No thanks!

  11. wait… did i just hear a narcissist really doesn't want to be cruel?

  12. Let someone else figure them out. Feed em fish heads.

  13. I'm not sure a narcissist can put themselves in someone else's place. But I liked the idea of appealing to their self-interest, since that's what motivates them.

  14. Thank you) Your words somehow lead me to understanding of the following quite an obvious thing: narcs are like spoiled kids untaught to respect other people and keep healthy boundaries – disbalanced personality. The other side of it is codependacy – no respect for yourself with only thinking about what others think and feel – disballance again. And ballanced personality in this case is the one who has both respect for him/herself and respect for other people plus healthy boundaries. It seems like the unballanced personality (both narcissistic and codependent) is the result of incorrect upbringing, right?

  15. He's describing Kanye West perfectly.
    :)

  16. Thanks, I found this video much more informative than most of the videos on this topic here on youtube.

  17. This is the only comment like I left below in anything I've ever watched! Most people I've watched know a narcissist very well! You are the only person I ever felt the need to leave a comment like below on their videos! Thanks for trying even though you are a psychologist there is a lot you really do need to learn about narcissist! I'm telling you a whole lot more you need to learn! Really you barley touched the surface! I'm not at all trying to disrespect you at all but you have no idea at all what all a narcissist is about!

  18. I can certainly tell you were not married to a narcissist over 29 years! Mine almost killed me! Sucked all the life out of me and no you can never under no circumstances get one to ever have empathy at all! It took me many years to realize what I was dealing with! They are a empty hollow shell walking around and only victimize their spouse, children the ones that live under the same roof as them! They completely fool everyone else! Their coworkers etc think they are nice and sweet! Mine did all his damage behind closed doors! He was this sweet person that chased me 6 months got me to fall in love with him! Then wanted me to hurry and marry him! I saw no signs whatsoever! 3 months after I married him out walked the narcissist and I never again saw the man I married because he wasn't real he did not exist at all! Maybe you are talking about slight signs of narcissist behavior but nothing at all like I dealt with! Maybe you were never married to one and if not I can certainly understand

  19. Teach Them Empathy!? No way, more like teach the how to act and pretend to have Empathy. They have Zero Feelings Sir. thx :)

  20. Does the narcissist know that they are a narcissist or do they have a complete lack of self-awareness?

  21. or people can take the advice of those of us who already worked hard on doing everything you say and ended up in an even more insidious position 10 years down the road,, and just figure out how to get out… This advice you give is exactly what is needed to create the codependent relationship that all narcs want.. a victim who believes that they can influence a narcissist and more games to play for the narc.. sorry

  22. Spot on my ex. I left him as a wet rag. Im finally free.

  23. Very bad advice, this just proves that a lot of psychiatrists/psychologists (or whatever label they like to use), do not have a clue.

    Also, it makes me wonder what is their agenda? I've met many psychiatrists/psychologists, and most of them have a need for superiority, are very controlling, and often their own children are very damaged. Why is that? Are they Narcissists?

  24. You cannot talk to a Narc, period. So why say you can?

    And anyway, you shouldn't, and why would you want to?

    It is the most pointless thing you can do, ever.

    Just get the hell out of there, live your own life, and don't waste any more of your time. I wasted nearly 10 years of my life, with a (female) Narc. When I was finally 'discarded', it was like staring a new life.

    That I am truly thankful for.

    Never, ever try to have any dealings with a Narc. This video is pointless. Sorry, Doc Hamlin.

  25. there is a lot of great advice in here – thank for this commentary Sir

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