For many of us, especially after leaving a narcissist, solitude is terrifying. It’s painful. That pit in our stomach is ever present. However, solitude is an important …
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Leaving a Narcissist? Solitude Heals!
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You are 100% correct
Thank you, you r absolutely correct. I just left my narc partner, going through divorce..she's nasty, so I'm worried about the financial end right now. But at that same time, I finally recognized a friend I had for 27 years was also toxic, so I finally left her for good and then unfortunately I became a victim of a sociopath who conned me out of 2100.00. This happened because I was so vulnerable and needed a friend as I had no one here. God, I wish I would have just stayed alone and not tried to find friends at a time when I'm so vibrationally low. So I'm going through a difficult time, but willing now to be alone and actually wanting to be alone without a primary relationship.
yes! this is exactly where I am now. Friends ex boyfriend and family…
Like you I went from overt narc (35 years!) to covert narc. I have lived with him for a year and just started studying this stuff. I love your scenarios and recollections…they are triggering stuff. Like when I first stayed over with my current N, in the morning he went to the toilet (ensuite) and I could hear everything. He walks into the room when I am on the toilet all the time. He has also done the same thing, gone to the toilet when I am in the shower. He doesn't care if I come in the room when he's peeing. And he really isn't interested in sex. I would be interested to hear your views on the sex side of it, because my overt N loved sex as that was his source of supply.
Yes! Same! :)
Thank you very much for sharing your own experience & knowledge to help people who are desperate for answers to help break this
vicious cycle of being treated less by people who they should expect to trust in life.
When you explained that we may be surrounded by nothing but toxic, narcissistic, abusive people it was something I needed to hear so
much as hard to accept that my mother, father, every relationship romantic or platonic I am surrounded by
only these type of people I feel my heart actually breaking inside. however, as sad as that can be I know the only way is up.
People who are finally learning they are not loosing their mind & life starts making sense putting each puzzle piece together.
No wonder I'm surrounded by toxic realizing I'm the narcs dream being a bright shiny toy to target!! I just thought I was being a giving, caring, loyal daughter, friend, partner…
I've opened my eyes finally in my 30s & somehow finding solace in the 1st steps of breaking down these walls, is being thankful, forgiving I'm getting to wake up, have a shot in this 1 chance we get to have life, while my family for example, will probably never be able to feel healed as I will…
Its amazing the wealth of info survivors are gracious to take time to share, which I hope 1 day sooner than later I can pay it forward as well,
looking back from this life I still don't understand why I've been handed this deck of cards I see the reassurance there seems to be light in the end of this jacked up tunnel!
Thank you again & God Bless!
Gotta like a woman who will say clusterfuck.
13.25 Internal work. Yes. " I had to learn that my worth as a human being isn't dependent on what others think of me or weather they were happy with me or not." Tall order, but needs to be done to live peacefully. N's have not even remotely figured that out, hence the stalking, hovering, lies, all for supply. They get there self-worth from others, big time. Yes. even co/d's can do that. It is peaceful to also physically remove ones self from abusive people. It is a true PD, not to mess with, if one can help it. Solitude is quite healing. It teaches you to be your best friend. Learn about ourselves. The quote I put up here is from a gal that had a NDE. Near Death Experience. She was hit by lightning. Even THEY are bring back the message to ……love self! Good to see you are healing in a semblance of silence. Imagine if an N learned that their worth isn't dependent on others? They can't survive without ….supply. It's kind of sad. Destructive though. I did not realize your pup was that old. Bless his old bones. Hugs 2 Hunter.
I can definitely relate! it was so hard to be alone in the beginning. but I'm now okay with it. I actually prefer it! I can honestly say I have grown tremendously as a person. on a side note: you look amazing for your age! !
Annabel Lee, your are an ANGEL ! GOD Bless you… Your posts as well as "Narcissim Survivor" 's posts are in my humble opinion the most ON POINT sources of information on this spiritual disease available on you tube. May the Universe continue to Bless you both !!!!!!
Correction: neglectful mother
I went no contact, in my relationship for a couple months and I honestly can see the physical and emotional growth that I've undergone. God really brought me through it because many nights I went to sleep not caring if I woke up. My ex, the narc, I see now had a hold on me because I was living in a toxic environment, so I clinged to him, for a touch of love and attention.
I have broken no contact with him, because I see right through him now. So insecure and clearly a product of a narcissistic mother figure and a neglectful. I have to return home soon, and I ask those who are believers, to pray that I find legal employment here in the U.S. so I don't have to return home.
The isolation has done wonders for my spirit. I'm completing my thesis in Education, I've done more work in these three healthy months, than I've done in TWO YEARS! The narcissist will break you down, to the point where you cannot remember your authentic self. Looking back the emotional and physical degradation was astonishing. In my pictures, my eyes were empty and body was frail. I've gained weight, I'm mentally alert, I'm sure of myself, I have confidence in step, I wake up with purpose. Glory to God, because no-one was able to see my pain but Him.
This came at the right time. I feel like I am finding Narcissists behind every bush! Many of them are close to me. I started thinking I was crazy! Now I understand what's happening. Thank you!
Thanks so much for this video!!! I am just now seeing and suspecting this. Your video helped though because I realize that they were clogging up my stream of good, and now it is coming…I can feel it. Things are becoming more effortless, and I have a mantra that instead of dwelling on all of the years I have lost, I am going to make today, tomorrow and the coming years the best ever! I am going to live a fulfilled, love filled, happy, joy filled, dancing life, and only those who have the same vibration can dance with me!!! Please do a video on how to spot a narc, as I am terrified to meet new people! Say "hi" to Hunter for me!
this makes a lot of sense! it is also very encouraging! we attract what we think about! if we are surrounded by narcissists we will attract more of them! it we are surrounded by healthy people we will attract more healthy people! the hard part is doing what you did! gertting away from them and starting over and doing the hard work it takes to heal!
Good job with your dog! I have an 11 year old Rottweiler and she has ear issues too. Have you noticed it gets worse when it rains? She makes the same noise your doggy does.
Thank you, great video.
I needed to hear this today..thank you..I can relate to your story, though I know we all have unique situations, there is a common theme..I just got divorced a few months ago and it's been a rollercoaster of emotions for sure..elated at first, to anger outbursts, then sadness..
I just wanted to say thank you so much for posting this because I just got out of a 3 year relationship with someone I didn't realize was a Narc. For the longest time, I thought I was crazy even though I knew I wasn't. I started losing my sense of self….I started second-guessing everything. What a huge amt. of mind games he played! He would gaslight me…I didn't even know what was going on. He's flipping nuts! I'm starting to go through the no contact part now & it's really tough….part of me still wants to reach out to him, but I know nothing good will come from it. Why am I addicted to talking to someone who's a terrible person? This is an awful thing to feel.
zymox ear drops from amazon also malaseb shampoo best ive found for my dogs ears and skin.love your videos.also love mink sheen dog shampoo just remembered lol
lost 33 years be nice to hear you are no longer letting him make you a victim 🙁 my heart is torn to bits really painful, worse that he getting off with a slap on wrist again pleading insane again, he got them believing he will get better with not hurting me its all nuts , hey put olive oil in his ears case he got mites lol my daughter bailed mine! hows that for an ouch, my gawd that so sucks 🙁 yeah i got that feeling too, oh god me too shoot, i had too serve him long as my health kept going it was all good but sicker i got less i did the worse and madder he got , man all bites
yup. i had no clue of the domino effect of ending a relationship.. in my case nature set it off with a death that shed a spotlight on the terrible truth. not sure any information could have prepared me for the fallout, but it would have been nice to know! alone is a very scary place to be but it is better and a must to deal with and heal the toxic belief systems and behaviors of our own. i can speak from the middle of it … it feels like an impossibly long road right now, so isolating that i often consider checking out. i feel helpless still even after 18 months of no contact with my FOO and limited contact with my ex. i guess that it's not that long of a time.. i need to give myself a damn break. thank you for the hope of healing! loving your videos.
I've focused inward a lot and the hard thing for me has been bringing what I got inside outside, because I've been around toxic people. It's like everything I share with them they just ruin and curse. I finally got to the point where I'm just like "fuck these people they suck ass" and I just have disdain for them now because they are like giant turds that soil everything they touch so I have to just stay away. The thing that makes it hard is that they are my family I was born into. I look at them and it makes me afraid to have children because I don't want to bring any people into this world that are as disgusting as they are. My whole family is narrow minded bigoted Mormons. They are real good at maintaining a façade of normalcy while actually being very irrational, authoritarian, racist, judgmental and spiteful toward people who don't live how they do, and actually quite immoral, as they view conformity to their religious indoctrination as "morality" even though it hurts people who have not done anything to hurt anyone else. It's sick and twisted.
OMG this was absolute truth for me. At first, I thought I was paranoid, thinking I now all of a sudden thought the whole world was a narc. But no, it's not the whole world. It was just my world at the time. Just one more result of the low standards my mother had set for me, a bunch of trashy people feeding off me, and me thinking that was normal. Thank goodness that healing does happen the longer you remain trash-free :)
Omgosh! ME TOO! Everyone! Absolutely everyone in my family and "friends" were also Narcissists. They did not have my best interest at heart. It's a heavy realization to come to. I feel for you Annabel. I know exactly what you are saying. I did the same thing. I cut everyone out of my life and moved far away.
This is an excellent topic and video. Thank you.
Oh, when my ex narc arrived in NZ and I was forced to have contact with him because of the kids, some of my friends, who knew what I had been through, and was still going through, had affairs with him. One later complained that he was stalking her. Well hello!
And yet we are told that narcs and sociopaths are only a tiny percentage of the population, but I know so many of them. We all do. Is this an increasing disorder or has it always been there? I used to think 'they can't all be narcs and sociopaths so it must just be me, my imagination, or I'm projecting". But now. . . .this is why I'm afraid to let any new people into my life. I'm still on the run from the old ones, lol.
Gosh, when I finally escaped I was overjoyed! Freedom at last. I could do what I wanted when I wanted. No more fear or hunger. I did go a bit crazy for a while, socially, partying etc, but I got over that and settled down. To be able to read a book and not have to lock myself in the bathroom to do so (my ex would then cut the power off for the whole house so I would be forced to go to bed as ordered to), was just sheer bliss. I read and read and read. . .I started coming across books on abusive relationships and all sorts pf things fell into place.
I like your videos because you are well spoken. Interesting how we usually have more than one narc in our life.
thumbs up for Hunter!
as a result of everything you said, I developed a great, fulfilling relationship with myself! i became my own best friend! as long as i have myself, i will always be OK….its a liberating, very happy belief…..thanks for your videos. they are very helpful xoxo
My narc has huge anger issues. He would pretend to be such a nice guy in public that even his aunt when we separated didn't believe me that he had anger issues and instead thought I was the violent one. It was crazy how he pulled the wool over everyone's eyes. Even my sister in law that I thought was on my side and my friend turned out to be a flying monkey and possibly a narc too.
Great insight: "When I stopped serving people like that, they got angry…." Thanks for this video. I, too, noticed how thoroughly my life was infected: family of origin; workplace; friends; acquaintances; boyfriends. I'm starting to "recognize the signs" and avoid accordingly. I have no taste for their wicked behavior.
I'm glad you Got your intuition back. That gives me hope. The betrayal is amazing. It can be demoralizing to be surrounded by them. The bad ones take up the space that good people can though. When we get serious about recovery, the flying monkeys don't like it and neither does the narcissist.
Yes, it's like a long journey to find out the people in your life are potentially narcs. Either what order we eliminate people that are not good for us, it takes time to figure them out, as if you are raised by them, you have been drawn to such people as they were "familiar". The friends siding with your husband, whom they DID NOT know is such a NARC SIGN.
I think I have a huge swarm too, but it's like I feel I need to be covert as these narcs will use such suspision to further "insane label" me. That is what they'd call "paranoid delusions" that you see the malignancy and lack of empathy in others. But I do, as no way in hell I'd behave like some people would, whom I suspect being narcs.