When a Narcissist has childre it is not like when normal peoplehave children. Normal people have children because they have so much love they wish to share it …
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Narcissist Offspring The Role of a LIfetime Scapegoat
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Scapegoats are willing to change for the sake of the family, for society. Not because anyone is special. Because selfishness the golden child is taught is more toxic. Humans aren't naturally alone on top of the heap. That's not the way nature works functionally.
Narcissistic fathers and narcissistic mothers work together. The lone, evil mother is the product of patriarchy. Ancient religions emphasized mourning of death or representation of the group hunting together (in other words group survival). Religions from about 10,000 years ago, changed to represent a narcissistic social figure. The god is perfect, powerful, and alone. In my opinion religion reflects social evolution or social devolution. Destroying the family is social devolution. Selfishness is social devolution in a social species.
3/4 of narcissists are male. This is probably because the male would be chosen as the golden child. 1/4 of the narcissists are most likely either a girl in a family of girls, or a girl in a family in which the only boy(s) are disabled/ GBTQ. The family will chose the boy first because he is physically stronger, which is how a narcissist sees themselves. Most likely if a male isn't with a female narcissist, he won't take responsibility. Bullying a child isn't taking responsibility.
As a scapegoat child I can tell you it is one of the worst things that can happen to a human being. No human should endure that much pain. I would not wish that kind of treatment to my worst enemy (if I had one).
Wow. This is so accurate, and so validating. Thank you.
So true explanation! I am going through all of the things explained in this video!
this is exactly what happened in my family. My sister was the scapegoat. At ten years old she saw right thru our stepmother. I was the golden child. it took twenty years and a lot of therapy for us to repair out relationshipn our half sister and half brother, the children if the narcissist, are similarly divided. brother can do no wrong, sister can do no right. brother aged 48 is living with the narc. Sister has an eating disorder and a lot of narc traits.
thank you.
story of my childhood I was scapegoat my brother golden child was abused by my moms sister my aunt n her children n my uncle n his children was always ignored n put down laughed at etc I have gone no contact now thanks for video xxx
Oh, you are speaking about my world. I never knew it was a condition, but my mother was an (functioning) alcoholic narcissist and she left for a very successful Oil company career. My little brother and I are living with my father, he marries another one that brings her daughter along with a half sister later. Ages spanned 16 years and you can guess that dynamic. I was seven years older than my brother and I wasn't golden with my mother or my step-mother. I was told many times by my father to not speak my mind, so I didn't but a few times I called her out . I was strongest personality and this Leo did just that and It was a disaster, and it all continued/continues in our adulthood. Mother and Dad have passed, but the step-mother is still at work. Thanks for the clarity..Youtube, therapy at its best! OMG…I'm the only one to get therapy…I could not pass that down…that behavior I inherited abandonment issues from her leaving – said " I'm going to the store." She told me I couldn't go this time. I never saw her again for 6 months. I'm glad I found your posts. I originally was looking for the answer to a thought I had as a kid. Maybe you know… My mother was a career-minded woman and really never wanted kids. I sort of came along while they were dating…uh em..you get it. We never had scheduled weekends. My brother and I would only go visit when she called for us once every month or two. Why was I very closed down and reluctant to answer any questions…I would snap with brief answers when asked simple questions i.e. " Did you have a good time? Where did y'all go out to eat? etc… I was an ass to my Dad and Grandmother (I loved her, she saved me). Do you have any idea for my belligerence? Oh, and as a child of alcoholism, I would over-achieve so the successes that I had..were always downplayed by all, yet I still have that drive and commitment to a cause..and now I understand why it keeps pissing everyone off till this day. Yep, 🙂 and I'm gonna keep on keepin' on…smiling all the while, now I know.
Not all scapegoats give in to the "bad seed" role.
thank you for sharing your wisdom and knowledge. I'm sitting here heartbroken and it's greatly connected to my family.
My mom is more uninvolved rather than Narcissistic which allows the narcissists among my family and relatives to get to me.
wow, just wow
thank you
Thank you..
Who can relate to trying to get professional help, going to therapy, for the scapegoat role, but the therapist, psychologist, didn't take you seriously, laughed at your pain and concerns, and overall, didn't help you?
its sad when the hard lessons you learn, especislly about finances, are from parents. thats a telltale sign youre being taken advantage of and abused. cut! them! off! asap! not worth the years of waste hoping you wont be considered the bum of the family. for instance, my father has gotten rent money from me since 16 years old, yet im somehow considered the bum or one who lives off of others. he recently, at 28 years old here, took much money from me for rent and utilities MY FATHER WASNT PAYING and fuxt me out of a place to live… yet somehow my siblings believe im living off him… he wasnt paying rent or utility, but told me he was so i neglected my dogs health to make sure he had this money… but im the bum? no…. im done.
Would anyone be willing to help me? I am the scapegoat of my family. 48 years of abuse. multiple rapes, physical sexual and emotional abuse all my life brain-washed into believing it was all my fault. 2 abusive marriages to narcs no support every family member turned against me. Please help. Need therapist who is trained in this . I am on Medicaid . I have no one for support.
So sad.
… Oh how conveinient w the by now traditional funny Coincidence paralelL similarity associations…
:'),;
… None to do w the punk band or …codeine showtime. … Nope . Propably just rwflection i cant c
There's an element of competing there and they don't differentiate between a 5 year old or a 55 year old, they're both competition. I had years where I couldn't accept anyone would be so petty as to compete at the level they do. When I could no longer do anything but accept this to be the case you see this whole sub strata of society suddenly quite clearly. This in itself makes you more vulnerable and more of a potential target for a time as they can tell when you can see them for what they are but don't entirely have the tools to deal with them, you're a threat and a challenge now, you have to be put out of the game before you develop the tools to deal with them.
My mother didn't openly encourage my brother to abuse me, but she never stopped him or tried to prevent him from abusing me. She saw it happening under her nose all the time, and did nothing to stop it, never told my brother he was behaving wrongly. So she encouraged his abuse by her silence.
Of course, the one she hurt the most was my brother, because he grew up believing he could treat everyone any way he wanted, and was always taken by surprise when other people he met in life would not put up with his behavior. He wasn't the "golden child" though (there were 5 brothers), this brother was like my mother's own mirror image. In fact, she fought the most with him, but it was because he was most like her. Like two magnets repelling each other because the same pole was facing itself.
p.s. the "golden child", my oldest brother, died from a heart attack at age 31. It never occurred to my mother that the stressful environment he grew up in might have had anything to do with this premature heart attack.
Your message to school workers to reach out is also important. I spent years in school with fairly obvious eye-blinking problems, and no teacher ever once asked me what was wrong. I think it was my silent, and unanswered, cry for help as a child.
this is my story, wow
Useful, but such a slow and low voice I can'tisten any longer. Speak up!
Went no contact….incl holidays