Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a real, pathological mental disorder.
The disease is often very misdiagnosed by the medical community and almost always ignored and unrecognized by society at large.
All people are narcissistic in a small degree. It is perfectly normal to love and respect oneself; without such self-regard, mankind could never have evolved to a modern society.
The narcissist: extreme pathological self-centeredness But NPD is a severe distortion of aspects of the self-love, deviating widely from normal personality functioning. It is not to be confused with “traits” or aspects of a person’s personality or mood. It is a debilitating, pathological disorder which prevents the narcissist from contributing to society and almost always leads to destructive, anti-social behavior towards others.
A person who suffers from NPD – a narcissist – suffers from extreme self-centeredness.
The narcissist lacks empathy for others.
Given his self-regard, he is unable to recognize that any action he takes could be unacceptable in society. Shame is not a feeling he ever experiences.
The narcissist has a complete inability to acknowledge that he is imperfect; even in situations where he is forced to admit mistakes, he will nonetheless construct elaborate justifications, often internally, which explain the problems he caused as being the fault of others.
Unsuccessful in friendships and intimate relationships Because of his lack of empathy for others, a narcissist rarely has many close, intimate friendships. In terms of romantic relationships, he is rarely successful in intimate, mutually loving experiences, as he cannot accept that the needs of another person could be as important as his own.
He is incapable of understanding and listening to others. The interests and hobbies of other people are non-existent to him. It is not simply that he assumes other people in his life share the same interests as he does; it is that he simply cannot comprehend that another person could be interested in something other than what interests him at the time.
The narcissist does not recognize feelings in others.
The narcissist is so blind to the emotions of others that his emotional intelligence is often that of a toddler.
Similar to a small child, he is incapable of controlling his own emotions. He does not realize that his feelings come from within and that he can control his own emotions. He continues through adult life with the child-like belief that external events and people are entirely responsible for his moods and that he is helpless to control himself.
This lack of emotional self-control almost always manifests itself in wild and violent mood swings. The narcissist can be pleasant and fun in one minute, but in the next minute angry, screaming, and breaking plates.
The narcissist is incapable of recognizing that his violent mood swings are irrational, anti-social and pathological; if pressed, his never-ending need to maintain his fantasy of self-perfection will cause him to justify his behavior as the “fault” of outside people and events.
In contrast to society’s mistaken understanding, the narcissist’s overwhelming problem is not extreme self-love, but rather inability to recognize and love others as separate beings. To compensate, the narcissist creates an over-exaggerated image of himself, his triumphs and his importance. In this sense, NPD is the most extreme form of anti-social mental disorder.
The narcissist needs to control others, because he is incapable of accepting that his fantasy of mega self-importance is not true. When he is not able to exert his control over others – in other words, when other people act according to their own free will and not according to his whims and desires – the narcissist is unable to cope, and often will react by flying into a rage or escaping the situation to preserve his perverted sense of power.
The narcissistic rage was first analyzed by Heinz Kohut in the early 1970s.
Narcissism starts in early childhood Most research indicates that pathological narcissism is not a bioloical trait, but rather a failure of character development.
NPD begins at an early age. One very common cause is parental neglect. In families in lower socio-economic circumstances, this manifests itself in outright neglect of the child, numerous hours of the day in which the child is unattended and ignored. In families in particularly high socio-economic levels, parental neglect takes the form of “care-by-nanny”, in which the child has very little contact with his parent(s), often not even living in the same house as them, and is raised by a never-ending stream of live-in nannies.
If you, or someone you know, is suffering mental and/or physical abuse at the hands of a narcissistic psychopath, you should immediately discuss the situation with your friends and family, and together consider seeking professional help.
Outside resources you can look at to understand further the problem and possible solutions include:
- Mayo Clinic (general medical practice): Narcissistic Personality Disorder
- Codep-Help [http://codep-help.co.cc/] (sex addiction specific): Info and Help for Women Abused by Narcissists and Sex Addicts
Source by Alan S
