Hard to identify because he combines good citizenship with a carefully crafted approach to building a well-respected image,the covert narcissist often has fooled …
source
NARCISSISTIC RELATIONSHIPS:Spot the covert Narcissist and Be Safe!
Related posts
-
Great YouTube channel explains that pet cats can be victims of Narcissistic abuse too – Danish Bashir
Great YouTube channel explains that pet cats can be victims of Narcissistic abuse too – Danish... -
3 (+1) early signs you are dating a Narcissist
Discussing 3 tell-tale signs you may have entered into relationship with a Narcissist. See if you... -
Snippy and Me: Black Guy
The ongoing saga of two embattled best friends – a genetically engineered conservative sociopath played by...
The problem with getting help is that no one believes you. The narc is so cunning.
google JEZEBEL SPIRIT – covert Narcs are EVIL nothing less
covert narcissists are very much more dangerous than overt narcissists because theyre more subtle and less transparent than overt narcissists. overt narcissists generally embarrass themselves in public whereas covert narcissists hide their poisonous nature behind the front door
Very helpful. Thank you so much.
So much like someone I used to know.
Hi Barbara….did you have a father or early male friend narcissist….the reason I ask is that unconsciously all your examples focus the idea that the Narcissist is always a him or male spouse!?!
yes. familiarity, then they start to devalue you, preparing to discard.
thank you for this! I NEEDED to hear it from someone who isn't my friend. you've done well ma'am!!!!
I believe my adult daughter is a narcissist. Treats myself and her dad very poorly i.e. "pokes the bear" to make us, esp. me feel so sad. I've cried so much. How could I even suggest any kind of therapy for her, for us. Can this behavior ever stop. I don't want to blame our lovely daughter but she's killing us mentally. Any help?
Is there a difference between codependents and covert narcissists? I'm trying to figure out the difference, if there is one? I do care a lot about others (too much often, I don't have boundaries), I don't get off on hurting others, I don't lie about others or try to destroy them if they hurt me, I don't make up stories about myself to make myself look better, I have a lot of people-pleasing behaviors… But I'm always finding very narcissistic people to get addicted to, and stay in those relationships to my own peril. I can be really mean and lash out at them about their bad behavior, but I don't make serious moves to end the relationship. My negative feelings go away and get replaced with immense guilt over the thought of abandoning them, until the next fight. I don't want to be a narcissist, I hope I'm not, but sometimes it's been really hard for me to see how I'm hurting others because of the way I justify it to myself ("but they REALLY hurt me", "who are they to judge", "I don't matter anyways/theyre lying about caring about me, so what does it matter if I disappear, etc). Would you mind telling me what you think is going on? :-/
Amazing insight. I enjoy all your videos so much. I know all this first hand. but it always feels good to be validated and straighten from within, it helps me remember who I was and am without him. Thank You!
My covert partner is a psychologist. Is seen in the community as helping and doing good while he is slowly destroying his family behind closed doors. He hates to see anyone achieve anything good and hates to see anybody happy. He often starts whistling joyfully after he has ripped into me or the children and we are left in a crying heap.
Divvy cow, get a life!
You are truly wonderful, Beverly! Thank you so much for your insightful videos!
Thank You… perfect.
This is my father. But he tried to love me when I was little but kinda decided that he must defer to my mother in her abuse . Never defended me, but I still have feelings for him, he introduced me to music and art. Those things have kept me alive
Thank you for this, Beverly. I found the courage to leave a forty year relationship with an unhealthy spouse who was exhibiting the characteristics that you have described in this video. Working on my self esteem and worthiness in therapy helped me to address the question of why I was tolerating these disrespectful behaviors and then to finally move my life into a positive direction. "What else is possible?" has become my motto!
Covert Narcissists are life's wallflowers! Never the life of the party! Some maybe Histrionic as well. In this case, they are more outgoing!
How exactly does a Covert N living in a trailer in Kentucky or a housing project in the Bronx effect a perfect life?
Your description of the Covert Narcissist is based on faulty information Beverley. Some Coverts are also second level codependents. CNs are about the centre of the spectrum only.
Certain Narcissists can be very damaging on other people, it's no way right!
your a honour to the world
I'm getting bored with having to listen to all this nonsense every time I search Covert Narcissist on YouTube. Leave psychotherapy to people who are properly trained. I wish I had the money to sue you all for misrepresentation. The online anti narc community are like a bunch of latter day witch finders.
Covert Narcissism = Mild Borderline
Vague, redundant, and too general !! Also, the sound is a whisper, and not designd for an audience !!
Your description of the Covert Narcissist is complete nonsense! How, for instance, can a poor CN from a housing projects be a leader of society? CNs are only half way along the narcissistic spectrum. I can tell by your voice that you are not certain about what you are are saying. Leave psychology to people who know what they are talking about! Covert Narcissists are some of the best people in society and history! Just be warned that there are wealthy CNs out there who could easily take great offensive to the rubbish that you put out on the Internet and sue the backside of you. Your clients also. I'm sure they won't be happy about being misled by you!
Nope for me now!!! he took it all!!
omg my x
I deal with this all the time with some people, they want to send a message that they don't like me, but they want to be able to deny it. A good example is sending a birthday card to my husband with all the grandchildren's names signed to it with lots of happy goo. Then when my card comes it is a couple of words, none of the children's names are signed to it and it is a week late. This is only one action, there are many things just like this all the time, making me think it is deliberate and covert aggression against me. There are many other signs but this is the one that is more recent. Normally I wouldn't think a thing about one act like this, but when it is often and being in their presence is an agonizing experience, ignoring me in conversation or raging at me for simple disagreement, leads me to believe the card thing is an act of covert meanness.
ugh,im 31 years old…and i think one of my friends is a covert narcissist.Ive know him for like 18 years! its all becoming so clear,his mother who raised him is the BIGGEST narcissist ive ever encountered…so she really did a number on him.I see all the signs when i look up the red flags for a covert.
Beverly is so cool! It's very true that there is little chance of sidestepping a narcissist until you go through a growth opportunity as a result of it. The YouTube are great soul food….thanks!
Your a great light to us Beverly…I am isolated like most and its a dark sad place
to be. I look foward to your videos ….
I was involved with a covert narc/sociopath for one year…your video describes him to a T….he was a Catholic, went to church every sunday, helped other farmers, but he also watched porn and child porn and subscribed to all kinds of sex sites and prostitution (men and women) and dating sites and porn and child porn… he was constantly looking for new sources of supply…he had to have many women at once plus call girls on a regular basis….but he was a lousy lover, just sex for him, no touch, he hated touch, he hated kissing, sex to please himself and then he would push you aside like garbage and go to sleep…I went NO CONTACT and broke up with him 5X ….then 5th. time I told him if he tried to contact me I would report it to the police that he was stalking me…its been 21 days and I have not heard a word from him, but my therapist told me to keep my guard up, but go on with my life….hoping I never hear from that JERK again…and I did report the child porn to FBI….he makes me sick…he uses his 2 adult daughters for sources he goes after their friends, 30 yr old women and he is 63 yr old dirty man (animal)…why do his daughters let him near their friends?…he likes young skin and bones girls….beware he lives in Michigan,( Ewen), and is a retired dairy farmer…puts on a sweet face, but he is a monster and hide's from the real world and lives in his own little world of magical thinking…..
OMG!! That makes total sense!! I've got a boss who started out extremely caring and outgoing. She promoted me to a supervisor role. We got to know each other pretty well. She told me about her rough upbringing and we bonded fairly well. I noticed as time went on she started treating me every different. Being very sarcastic and emotionally abusive and lacked proper communication you'd expect from a manager. I started to watch how she treated others as opposed to me. She is very outgoing and friendly to others. She told me she feels like she doesn't have to be fake around me because she likes me. I was like What? I ended up stepping down because of her behavior but yet nobody else knows how she treated me except us two. Looking back I know see how she treated me different when others were around….All happy like…
Thank you Beverly…. I have watched quite a few of these videos and yours has been the closest yet to describing my life for the last twenty eight years. I am in the process now of ending it . Perhaps you could help me understand why I put up with this for so many years… ? and how to prevent and spot a problem before it goes too far..
Read a few dictionaries, get the real definition of narcissist – pleasure seeker.
yeah they are dangerous monsters
Thank youfor your video, I hope i can get out from the nightmare situation i am in since 15 years a go, only around 2010 i found out about all this narcissist abuser, etc, i can't get out (yet) is not so easy, to be honest its' very difficult, I am just praying, daily, hourly to God to kill him and heal my life, my soul, my everything this evil destroyed, and i really need to forgive myself , i need to stop blaming myself for not see this all before, now know it all before and get trapped to the horrible situation I am in ow, i live in holland and here is no law to punish this type of monsters. I am not okay, but, I will be okay again.
Needs to be less gender specific.
You're a covert witch… "intuitive". Get with Jesus, and be saved. Then you can REALLY help people… by teaching them they must be born again.
I can't believe how sick these wackadoos are. Wanting to spread their cruel cancer. Then they won't leave you alone when you put up the hand. No respect for your boundaries. Despicable.
Wow. So much spoke to me about a recent relationship. You are so non-judgmental and compassionate in your delivery of some not-so-nice information!!! Thank you!!!
Thank you for this video.
I escaped my marriage with my Covert NPD wife, my concern now is for my children, especially the scapegoat. Please make some videos regarding children of NPD's. I think this is more important than anything else. Golden children become some sort of NPD or at the very least supreme spoiled brats and the scapegoats just damaged, either way it's abuse that is never exposed. sickening really but what do you do!
So my request is that you please deal with the truly innocent victims of NPD's, the children.
Thanks Beverly, great video, it certainly resonates with my experience of having a covert narc mother.