I don’t need to tell you how rude narcissists are, but isn’t it strange considering how they want to inoculate and control you? It’s all part of the plan. Check out my …
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Narcissists are Rude!
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What we need is… A Dating Site for us. Narcissists free dating site. For recovering codependent enabler types only. People who have been abused. Who would be for that?
My experience with narcissists are exactly like yours. Complete rudeness is their specialty. They love to interrupt the conversation when your in mid-sentence. They love to interrupt the store clerk when they are with another customer. They love to ask for special items that are not on the menu in a food venue. They love to get free-bees and such at the expensive of other people.
I love your stuff, thank you. Tilt your camera down a few inches and the technical composition will be better.
Attack is the best form of defence.
Very good one. Yes, they very seldom give compliments. in the beginning, maybe, to manipulate and win you over, so that you agree to become isolated.
it's been my experience that the narcissist used a ton of flattery, praise and compliments and things like that… but in arguments they're really condescending, invalidating and criticizing.. they said "don't be so adjective that's very unbecoming of you!!"
brilliant. as usual!
Not Only are they Rude, they are Bogus Scumbags of a garden variety
(last comment I promise) By ignoring me, I responded by giving MORE… also if she didn't ignore me I felt like I was being scanned… I know what that is now… but what a way to grow up…so painful, and confusing this cycle of ignore/intrusion (violation).
Everything I ever said to her was supply: she could devalue me and watch me get upset at not being listened to (yummy supply) next she would use it to make her look like a caring proud mother!! And of course this set me up as a bad daughter if I told anyone what a monster she was because " she is so proud of you! she talks about you all the time!" We give them all when we give them anything. NO CONTACT!
This is so interesting … This rudeness in conversation with the narcissist: every conversation, she would zone out if I was talking, especially if it was regarding my studies or interests, and if I asked if she was listening she would say that I talked in monologues which made it hard for her (devaluation)… I would then listen to her repeating what I'd said in company or even bragging about how 'clever' I was … and even overstating my knowledge…. which was embarrassing! but only in company… crazy making.
Scott, I'm curious, if you care to share, how you figured out your father was a narcissist. You are so far ahead of so many of us, having figured this out at such a young age. It's sad and good at the same time. I only figured out my narc was a narc when I looked up something she said, and everything that came up on google, (and I mean it filled the page!) were all links to narcissistic behavior.
This brings me to Chad Johnson in the bachelorette.
You're doing such a great job of doing these videos!! Keep em coming!!!
I agree and so true. Very hurtful.
I can see that.
its like they hate being a human…..?
You were spot on!
They don't understand another person's verbal irony, and view it as an expression, or confession of silliness, and they don't understand change over time, so at the most basic level they are unsophisticated. When they snatch at what they think are your errors — which are often expressions emitted in ironic form, or simple acknowledgements of change over time (a sentence that may have the form, "I used to be…"), they are at their worst, because they also betray their own assumption that they are the more sophisticated party and that they are right in noticing something deplorable about you and putting you in your place.
I find their suble but completely false assumption of their own intellectual superiority to be the vilest aspect of their behavior.
All true.
All true.
My ex would tell lies to people about me whilst standing next to me. I did this, I said that, I went here etc etc, I started questioning him when he did it and he'd always wriggle out of it by either saying that I couldn't remember or by using the diversion tactics that he loved so much.
And he SO resented it when he was forced to control himself for the sake of appearances. Towards the end of our relationship, when he was having secret (except that I could hear them) flirty conversations with the woman he was triangulating me with, he had the charm mask on. When he had to speak to her husband, his boss, I could hear him trying so hard to control himself and sound calm and professional, but because I knew his tone of voice, I could tell how only just on the right side of the line he was. I always wanted him to slip up so his boss could hear what he was really like, but he just about managed to keep it up. However, two people who he worked with did leave because of his antisocial behaviour, and said so, so he can't have succeeded all the time.
What's so interesting is how they are able to control themselves when they need to – most of the time, apart from when they forget. Mine once walked in to the room when the twenty-year-old daughter of a family friend was at our house and, forgetting he was supposed to check himself, said aggressively to me "you just need to…" as if he was my teacher and I'd been naughty. The young lady looked at me and raised her eyebrows. When I left him, she (and several other people who he had inadvertently shown the other side to) said she had always wondered why I was with him in the first place, and how rude she thought he was.
ok, question, is it just me or someone else also experienced this from their narc on a regular basis?
exN: throwing a tantrum and starts yelling(for whatever STUPID reason)
me: respond calmly
exN: raise the voice
me: trying to argue (we all know it's pointless)
exN: more yelling and starts to put me down
me: Oh shut the * up!(I snapped)
exN: Why you yelling at me????!!!
me:…………………………..
Also, she has a tendency to say things in the worst possible way. Let's say if there're five ways to make your point, she will pick the worst possible way to say it.(The one hurt you/put your down the most)