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One Way that Narcissists Con People Into Trusting Them
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EX narc pretended to be this clean person. Bottom line he never brushed his teeth, or used soap, barely washed his hair, or put on deodorant, but yet thought he was the hottest thing to walk the earth and felt normal hygiene was above him. Not only was his personality garbage, so was his overall appearance. The only time he looked clean is when he went on his fake job hunting and fake interviews. Yes, fake. After I got sick of his loser ass of not working for 2 years. He felt he was above working. And that he should be paid naturally for being such an awesome person and being desired by so many. LOL, it makes me laugh now. Back then, not so much. He was so much on the not getting a job wagon, he was convinced we would win the lottery so there was no need to find a job. Yeah, just craziness that I no longer need to be subjected to.
Dana its Narc 101. He has projected that he is trustworthy because YOU are trustworthy. Remember..an empty SHELL of a thing that can only live Symbiotically off you. You feel then like you would be rude to check. Don't worry when you begin to wake up the polite offer of 'you can look anytime' soon turns to "RAGE" How dare you not trust me!!! All the same Narc show.
I find your videos extremely accurate. I've only been in one relationship with these types…they leave you a completely different person, maybe even for the better. Regarding premature trust, the one I encountered told me some very personal details after about a week of dating-
stuff that I'd normally not discuss until I knew a person well as they were very private. The stories he told me were, I believe, true…and the details so intimate I felt he was very open/trusting of me, (if anything). In all his unsheathing of the past (things he wished for me to know so there were no secrets between us, he said), he omitted the tale of sexually assaulting and recording his friend when she was passed out. (I found the recording months later on his laptop while trying to find a photo. It was stored in a folder called Hockey Hall of Fame, I might add…) He had previously told me he brought her home one night after she drank too much and made sure she got inside safe. (Omitting that safe meant he assaulted her and recorded the assaulting fact at one part he was actually looking up smiling into the camera beside her head on a pillow and her eyes were rolled backshe was clearly unconscious maybe even drugged.) As a member of the Canadian military, he then told this huge tale about how he went to counselling about his misconduct. Even went so far as to show me the exact building he saw the counsellor in. That was all a lie too. Unfortunately, the victim didn't press charges after I contacted her (I guess out of embarrasment-not sure). When I then went to the Canadian military about the issue, they did nothing because I wasn't the victim. That disgusted me, seeing how they had people like Russell Williams out killing and raping members, but when a civilian approaches them about a potential other liability, they dismiss it.The result- he now continues to serve in the military acting the noble serviceman. I dear say when he's deployed, he's off assaulting or harassing other women, since these types don't strike once.
"Sharing intimate info about themselves super early on is all about money". According to Paul Elam, and Dr. Tara J Palmatier(A Shrink 4 Men).
Omg, I've had "Mr. Privacy" in my life for a few years now… He even slept on the floor of our walk-in closet for a month! Nobody else touched his phone or wallet. But he took off in January and forgot a folder that has his bills, tax returns, form for his talent agency (all filled out, SS# and all), old addresses, etc. I don't expect him to return but I hid the folder inside a shoe box in order to garnish wages for child support.
Ooh yes, polarised behaviour. Yes, that's a perfect way of describing it.
I really like that you mention they they are open with stuff like passwords to get you to share yours. I agree, never share your pin, passcode etc unless you've got some sort of backup protection.
This is a principle in persuasion which is called reciprocity. I love this female
my husband was SO the lovebomber…and he very handsome and charming and high ranked in the church but as next to God as Satan is!!!…when we first met his wife was kicking him out ..now I know why..I tried to help him BC his sob story was he wasn't from here had no friends and family and I put him up in a hotel for three days until our pastor got him into a house…. of course i didn't know my compassion made me a target…. speeding forward he showed me a scripture from the bible that he used to say if your spouse does away with u then ur no longer biblically bond in that covenant. I married him in less than seven months againsy my better judgment.. here's the sauce..after he had just got out of jail for serving several different larceny charges in TWO different states.. of course the lie he told was the lawyer he hired was supposed to have handled it for him and a bunch of bull now that I look back. I didn't wanna marry that soon we had some issues and I just felt it was too soon ..he gave me this spill about how Christians don't court long and if we felt we loved each other and was gonna be together anyway why did we need to drag it out and tempt our flesh. and BAM right after the shift started and I was like what have I gotten myself into he was a demon everything BUT a man of the clothe…
I appreciate you Dana… I have been discarded for the 2nd time in 6 months from my narc husband… I think he intentionally choose to do so before the holidays to put a extra shank twist..he left right before Christmas and then the day before Christmas… yes I allowed him to come back BC he was supposed to an open book and come back and get therapy..got on bank acct together.. the complete opposite of all crap that was happening before he left…but I found out from the other woman's husband they where still communcating..I'm like I don't think so he leaves his phone unlocked etc he was like they are communicating another way then but I assure u they are..and BAM!!!! yep and as soon as I found out for the second time he was flat and like what do u mean WHY..I'm thinking you jerk are you really sitting here with a since of oh well entitlement?!?? needless you say a couple of weeks later he left a noted saying we needed to separate I was bright and beautiful it was about us and not anyone else and he was separating for clarity and to get himself together.. bull..I'm like LIAR
how about wemen narcissists , can you plz cover this topic
Dana, in another video you mention counseling doesn't help the narc change. My experience was bizarre at my therapy session. My narc had the therapist siding with him. I was at my wits end to save my marriage and he came off like the victim and his cheating wasn't the issue. Therapy can't help and why?
You mentioned in another video that therapy can actually make a narcissist worse. I was wondering if you could do a video expanding on that? My narcissist definitely changed, not for the better, with therapy.
at the beginning i really had a fealling like …"this guy is not good for you". But i liked him first, i connected with him. I was sooo attracted with this guy, like never in my life. I saw very clearly how he was in the beginning, He would say a lot of things to see what works. And then I basically I gave him everything he needed too know. I think it was a lesson for me, cause I really am a people pleaser and give my trust to everybody, cause I see verybody good. Now I'm aware that there are people not that good in the world. And if a man who did so many things for me, had no real love for me, and just used me, what can I expect from others? I'm really naive, and vulnerable with any signs of love from those around me. It is though a great lesson, and I hope I can grow from this.
my ex narcissist is a somatic narcissist. he always kept he's phone away, even at shower he would "listen" music. He was keeping he s phone in the other room. ohh….i'm sick. i really trusted him. It was like too good to be true. I wonder what's he really like? Cause we had a long distance relashionship….what lies did he tell me? like everything he was telling me i think was a lie……….I'm disgusted. Such a lesson
I wish you would do some vid's on Female friends who are Nac's. I seem to be drawn in friendships (I"m a woman) with female nac's and get hurt every time. I'm left wondering what the heck just happened. All the attention, then the devaluation, and the sudden discard.
I wish you would do some vid's on Female friends who are Nac's. I seem to be drawn in friendships (I"m a woman) with female nac's and get hurt every time. I'm left wondering what the heck just happened. All the attention, then the devaluation, and the sudden discard.
Very interesting and informative videos. Thank you Dana. :)
Omg your videos are spot on!!!
My narc is a jerk to some people , nice to me when I am going along with his wants for the relationship. He's clean, but not snappy dresser. Was never transparent and hides phone and Facebook – few times he left FB signed on by accident I found inappropriate comments and private messages to other women. Always turned it around on me – was my fault. He let me meet one child, but not the youngest. He kept him from me and when we fought he goes to sleep at exes house and other women's house. He goes straight to a new woman and when that fizzles he hoovers – usually within a month.
He always blamed me for his business failing and because I refused to get married quick and chip in money. He would be upset if i wanted to go on a vacation he couldn't afford and demanded once I pay for him too. I always refused . He wanted immediate trust from me
Hi Dana, I m presently with a narcissist boyfriend. For the last 3 years I have been trying to figured him out as to why his behavior is so bizarre. Well, your videos have really help me and I m now trying to get him out of my left but he keeps coming back. I guess I need to be more consistent n stand on my ground. But it's not easy,
See was missing from go to work or a party and play the soul ages …
The warrior Class are bullies , these are soldiers, fighters, gangsters, hunters, barbarians etc we ended the dark ages from 3113bc to 2012ad we all programmed from the galactic core the 2012 galactic core is due the always a delay traveling that far lol these are immature , destructive infant , baby and young souls
The priest and priestess Class are innocent ones , compassionate one, artists , Wizards , magicians, seers, healers, alchemists , etc these people are gifted and or mature and old souls
Check out these link. Soul ages. It funny to listen to it then go to work or a party and the soul age lol
I'm a student of knowing the unknowing and unknowable and unknown …
Yep you are right about them being nice just to get you to put your guard down then they hurt you. Then when you get upset with them they do something nice to "make amends" then soon as you let your guard down again they hurt you again. This is what my father does. It's especially bad when a parent behaves this way.
How to avoid PsychNarcs at work? Bore them? Deflect? Male or female
Oh, did I mention that he drained our joint account then prowled that account and withdrew deposits that were reimbursements to me. In total, he took over $20,000 from me, then demanded my retirement benefits after 15 months of marriage.
My CN ex told me he was an open book and he told me I had never been with anyone with his level of integrity. Come to find out, he lied about his finances, he lied about having feelings for me, he lied about a lot of things.
I knew a narcissist once. He would often ask me if there was something he could do for me. I rarely came up with something, but the few times I did he would never do it anyway. It's all like a smoke and mirrors show. They make it seem like they care etc but when you put them to the test there is a whole different reality.
"If anything I consider myself to be a student of…" ~ This makes your perspective 1000 times more worth listening to than any self proclaimed 'expert'… (It is the same in any field of study…)
You should always keep Your money separate unless You are married. Living together is not always permanet and They don't need to have Your bank account info.
Do You think a narcissist is just a person who learned manipulation to survive a bad childhood and never got out of the habit of playing people. They seem to be shut down and have less feelings. Maybe because They have been hurt, or are afraid to trust others. I don't understand how They get like this. Maybe its a spiritual problem.
Im an empath and on my first date with my ex NARC which lasted from 2pm until about 9pm, he divulged that his 19 year old daughter being sexually abused by her step grandfather. That's what made me drop my guard. Looking back, I think it was a lie AND who does that? It took me 4.5 months to ID him then I ran for the hills. A covert, pillar of the community, critical, I want you to take care of me, delegating his life to me, piece of shite NARC. So glad for these vids!
One topic I would like to see Dana would be how one can be better prepared going into future relationships. Sort of a to do list and maybe some standard rules to go by. Because there are many videos about the aftermath of a narc attack but there seems to be no recon mission and a structured way to gather intelligence. I know every relationship dynamic is different but it would seem that we could build a tool to map out from point a to z the path to finding a healthy relationship and avoid stepping on the next narc grenade.
Narcissist will never,can never change.It will not happen.My husband's narcissist was bisexual.My husband has always been gullible and trusting.She destroyed his credit standing,pretended to be me.She pull call me a "Bitch"for 2 years and my husband said nothing.Now he is a sick,broke 63yr old man.He use to be extremely handsome.Now he is just a shell of his former self.In the beginning this person zoomed in on my husband with lightning speed.He went over her place every,single day.She had a constant,female companion with her at all times.In the end they tried to poison him.He almost died.
You know, Dana, I think that both my last partner and I were narcissists together. I tend to attach too quickly, yet l seem to have milder traits, compared to her. Any comments on such a combination?