The narcissist will abuse you sexually. Either with shaming and withholding sex from you, or with shaming you and coercing you to having perverted sex that …
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The Aftermath of Having a Sexual Relation With The Narcissist
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I'm glad I'm no longer with the Narc, he's the creep, a soul killer and a total turn off in every way.
Min 12:39–13:50 is a life saving!!!
Brad Ingalls- my x husband- told me sex was not for marriage- He has a new cover female. Hope he can come out soon and be a proud gay man-
Thank you for talking on this very powerful and important topic.
anal penetration is not sex, it's disgusting.. point blank
I think I am a narcissist for not having sex. I need to please a man by giving him good sex.
"Somatic narcissists are often portrayed as sex addicts or histrionic. But really they derive their narcissistic supply not so much from the sex act as from the process of securing it: the conspiracies and assignations, the chase and conquest, the subjugation and habituation of their targets, and even from dumping and discarding their prey, once having extracted the attention and admiration they had sought. These extracurricular activities endow them with a sense of omnipotence and all-pervasive control. Their sway over their paramours and would-be lovers proves to them (and to others) their uniqueness, desirability and irresistibility." http://samvak.tripod.com/journal21.html https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7_PS2rZGec
I agree that our little ones must not be taught their genitals are contemptible, nasty or shameful. With that said, there is a fine line we must not cross in teaching them that morality is contemptible, backward or ignorant. We must take the time to teach them that their bodies are to be treated with respect, that their genitals are not only for their pleasure, but also the fact that they will one day share their body with someone they love very much and will bring their own children into the world via those very genitals. This is the most sacred part of their body and other people's bodies. Today, that entire understanding has been tossed aside and the consequences are devastating for young men and women and their future relationships, they are aborting their precious babies, they are being infected with horrific venereal diseases for which there is no cure. Please, make sure this is taught to your children so they can experience the great joy and love God has provided for them without degradation, without the devastating consequences of murdering their own child inside their own body or suffering from ghastly incurable diseases. God bless you :)
I just had to say I love your videos! You are very insightful and clearly have experience with narcissists.
great video ! it perfectly explained to me why my ex narc was so cold during sex and after. what shocked me most from start of relationship that he had no need for effection , like touching and kissing … but as co dependened I found explanation for everything and I was so willing to fix him lol
Great vid thank you 🙂 i could hear the emotion in you voice, great job :)
Ex narc was into submissive BDSM and was crap in bed which was of course my fault and not the fact he was a freak.
isn't it interesting how Christianity particularly continues to to call all this behaviour as sinful! i was a born again Christian but the older I get the more i see how Religion is used to control and degrade.
totally agree with you. good for you x
I agree with you totally!!
I was with a narcissist for 5 years and am very wounded. Not only was his behavior EXACTLY like the man you discuss, but at the end of my marriage he not only wanted to fulfill his perverse fantasy, he sexually coerced and abused my son (his stepson) who was over the age of consent yet who is emotionally at a younger age. I became very emotional listening to your video because someone else is putting into words the nightmare I have lived. At last I feel validated and begin the healing process.
Thank you for your videos!
you know I wasn't sure and it is still hard for me to believe it, my heart doesn't' want to believe it, but you, are telling my story and and so is Cluster B & Me, my heart is increasingly beating and I cant stop the tears from coming out as I am writing. I am just waking up to this concept of Narcissists vs. Codependent. I spend the last 11 years with a man thinking I was building a future with him, although a very empty ugly future by the way things were going. I did not not know what was going on, only that I felt rejected, l not very attractive around him, not validated. Until one day last year I caught him watching porn after rejecting me and lying telling me he was not longer into porn. Then when I caught him, typical he said he was doing it for me, SAY WHAT? and I could not make sense of what was going on. I battled him and battled him and just could not understand how this man that used to be gentle and caring at some point( although emotionally neglectful but I did not know that) could go through such a change. At a point, I felt lost, not knowing the man I have been sharing all this time, he was not responding to my feelings. Literary I was kneeling on the floor not knowing what to do . I would look at his eyes and not see who I thought was my partner. I could not even looked at his eyes. Once I wanted to go talk to his mom and when I went for the door, so did he and he pushed me back, I fell because there were some of my stuff in the middle of the way , literary , I am messy but still he pushed me hard enough. But to look at my self on the floor and not seeing a Flickr of worry trough his eyes or face, not even the hand of the man that vowed to protect me and be by my side for the rest of his life, and instead he proceeded to to tell me it was my fault because my shit was in the middle, that was some scary weird moment. One month After that after that
I had one night terror, with him were he turned around and he had this ugly angry face, that Ive never seen before, and he pushed me, I fell down. I got up screaming running and just like I was screaming and running in my dream I woke up screaming, crying and I literary had to run out the door crying, and be outside for a while until I calmed down I was still with him then .He could never admit or understand what was so wrong, it is just porn. And sure enough he went through metamorphosis. Not knowing what was going on just knowing that I needed a changed, I move out thinking we would work through things. Until September we decided to go to the therapist and she mentioned it. First time I've heard. Then he stopped going
tO the therapist and he would not call me for two weeks if we got upset, he starting yelling at me whenever I tried to talk, but yet he was using the money from the bank account. On December the 27th, I decided no more, but it is sooooo fucking hard . It is haaaard to accept that my past, my present and the future were not real . Some scary shit, I am still back and forth. I am in so much pain. I always knew that there was something wrong but I always hoped we were gonna work it out, but I was always thinking on the man of the first year, the one that made me feel good and beautiful and cared for and then proceeded to do the opposite. He left me on Sunday crying, shaking AND I STILL WANT HIM TO COME BACK!~! seriously, I MUST BE ALL KINDS OF FUCKED UP
OHHH there you go, you told the same to your dougther!!!!!!OOPS spoke way to early. I stopped the video to write the comment, that how much it resonated with me!!! Because Freaking a, we need to start talking to the children about there sexuality, none that thing called abstinence, does not work and as a grown woman, even though we all do it, Ive made feel bad about my sexuality. I had a dude mentioned to me once that I was probably molested as a child that was the reason I was so sexual, meaning comfortable with my sexuality.
OHHHH my, I saw a friend once deal with a similar situation so beautifully, I've considered myself to be very opened with my sexuality because I was ashamed of touching my self when I was little, thinking that God was looking at me and I was sinning, could have not know how to deal with it. My friend is very calm, she saw her girl around 4 doing the same but she in her calm voice told her kid that what she was doing felt good, and it was ok to do it because it felt good to her, but she said that that there are things we do in private and that if she wanted to do that she should go and be private or wait until she is alone. I thought it was beautiful, that is a good way to compromise between social norms and without being afraid of feeling good. I wished someone would have talk to me that way when i was younger. Ooh it is ok, really? you mean that when I am alone in in my bed under my covers it is ok, and God is not looking at me planning his punishment for after I died? He is not gonna have a count ? No seriously, I had a trauma for while every time I touched but my desires to feel good were stronger than my believe in God, so needles to say I dropped the believed and but kept feeling good about my sexuality until I met my narc.
You rock, sister! Thanks for putting it out there! 🙂 You have a nice voice and accent to listen to! 🙂 Are you Scandinavian? I also am recovering from having a relationship with a narcissist. And the only thing i am currently still ashamed about, is the fact that it took me 11 fucking months before it dawned on me that i was hopelessly begging for a narcissist to come back to me!!! I wasn't even aware of how i had been abused and dishonoured! Can i ask another question?? When all that shame surfaces, is it possible that it also shows in skin rashes?? Because currently, i am covered in skin rashes, and at the same time, i feel the rage and anger really running through my body… any experience with that? Thx!
i knew a mother who bragged about the size of her son's thing at least twice, while we waited for the elementary school bus. i felt embarrassed for him. i thought his mother was sick in the head, and more sick for being so braggy about it,( i think that is what lack of boundaries is) the only person who had that right was the boy himself.GROSSSSSS, ABUSIVE
i made a mistake of letting my now ex film sex vids of me and him.(he said it was for him only) back in 2012, he never destroyed the films when we broke up 3 years ago. and every so often he threatens to send copies to my friends and to post on internet. reminds me of what a scumbag i am for agreeing to this. as far as the little girl playing with her cliterous, its not okay to do that in front of people that is gross!!!and if she is allowed to do it infront of people whats to stop her for being promiscuous in public or at daycare and next you have workers claiming your daughter acts that way because her mom abuses her. kids need to learn that there bodies are for them and them only, not in the livingroom for the whole family to see
Anyone who humiliates another person about their sexual experience as a partner. That is a walk off the lot offence, there is no recovery for that. You know when they have stepped over the line. In a healthy relationship sex is an important part, anyone who withholds from their partner (especially to control, to manipulate, to hurt) is being abusive and it does not matter what the gender is. If you were just after friendship you would not have had them as a partner, you would not have opened up that door.
Now, if their is a health reason, then that is different.
For Narcs, sex is just another tool to manipulate people with. For both men and women I'm not a great one to encourage promiscuity, there are a lot of things you can get from other people or you could give to another person, it is a health reason more than anything else. Self pleasure is safe and healthy for both men and women.
Nothing wrong with things feeling good. Personally I'm more of the make love to a women and just have sex with a woman. The deeper reciprocity, emotions, sharing and learning one another, the freely giving to one another and enjoying them and them enjoying you. To allow the other person to soak into the inner you, and the same for them.
Perverts come in both sexes and they tend to be family members as they end up with the most opportunity.
God bless u…merry Christmas…peace O:-) go girl!!!
I love your videos. You are very intelligent and insightful