The astonishing unraveling of a narcissist and it’s damaging consequences part 2: The decompensating narcissist due to the extreme demands of his …
source
The astonishing unraveling of a narcissist and it’s damaging consequences part 2:
Related posts
-
Great YouTube channel explains that pet cats can be victims of Narcissistic abuse too – Danish Bashir
Great YouTube channel explains that pet cats can be victims of Narcissistic abuse too – Danish... -
3 (+1) early signs you are dating a Narcissist
Discussing 3 tell-tale signs you may have entered into relationship with a Narcissist. See if you... -
Snippy and Me: Black Guy
The ongoing saga of two embattled best friends – a genetically engineered conservative sociopath played by...
Goosebumps.. You explained this with such spot on clarity. It's so confusing when it happens.. It's as if all of a sudden you're painted black without provocation or reason. Divide and conquer is the name of the game and behind the scenes your being slowly and deliberately set up as only bad. Exactly. How do you deal with that? I did it poorly.. I blew up, questioned, tried to defend myself without knowing what Id done to deserve it. So, so confusing. And yes, it fed the narcissists script of me. Thank you. Looking forward to part 3.
Dear Daylight!:)
I'm astonished by your persistence because you keep helping people! You have such a big heart! You are a huge giver but givers need to take a break sometimes. Please, give yourself some free time(me-time) when you for instance listen to your favourite songs, meditate, walk in a park, read a book, talk to your best friends or just watch your surroundings and do nothing – whatever makes you feel happy and smiling!:) People will understand it. It's time for YOU!:)
If you feel like needing a little support, look at this! She has a youtube channel too.
http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/
I really like the example of the survivor mode mindset you use by talking about the primate in a cage with a snake. Frued called this the "ID" or the primitive part of our brain. I believe narcissists can use the ID to manipulate unbeknowingly or willingly. One parent sending a cue to the children that one parents presence calls for entering survivor mode would certainly bring about the ostracism of the other parent. Many believe Frued to be "outdated" or just wrong. But, I do think that primal instincts do come into play quite often with Narcissitic people. Well done Daylight!
They always think negative about you and say it to make you feel awful about yourself even if it's not true.They abuse , tell a lie and say anything to please their own ego . Make a false story about you and try to convince other people believe it. Don't respect your privacy and right meanwhile they could do whatever they want, especially for their benefits. They also dislike what you like , such as if you like cats , they don't. If you like staying home, they don't. If you like peace , they love to fight bc they 're bored.
In my family, I've seen teenage and very young adult children of a malignant narcissist father reevaluate their relationship with him and start to realize the kind of person he actually is, in large part because as he's decompensating, his behavior and lies become more and more reckless and irrational. It's breaking their hearts and they're smart enough not to let him know they're starting to see through him. I know they're better off facing the truth instead of going deeper into denial or trying to save him from himself. He's so sick that he doesn't even care how he hurts his own children, he acts like he cares but his actions have shown his children that he doesn't. Keep loving them and showing them the truth and when the narcissist falls from grace they'll rethink their lives and want to know the truth. PS God is love.
Thanks, yes there is great stress for the non narcissistic parent even after they are separated, and its so subtle and difficult to explain to the kids and teens and sometimes they are already brainwashed to treat that parent as a problem. Darn they are smart and cunning.
For future topics: did you see a lot of denial of your situation either in the devaluation or discard stage, still wanting you to act like a nuclear family even when separating? Interesting phenom, I guess trying to maintain "image".
How about trying to cut into your parenting time?? That is happening to me. Thanks and have a good day, you have a great way of explaining everything!!
Thanks for this; I am having open discussions with my teens when they repeat behaviors of NSO (now living separately). They usually talk back, tell me I'm "wrong", but I no longer can tolerate disrespect, minimizing, etc from ANYONE! I haven't blamed it on their F, just calmly stated that the behavior or words directed at me are not acceptable in my home. They are just starting to listen, maybe dad will try to use this against me but my kids are older teens so I am hoping they make up their own minds.
Sweetheart,
I would have agreed with you a year ago, but I now know better due to the events of my NM death. I always thought that my exwife was my worst enemy, but now I know better… My Narc enemies in order are:
1. Golden Child.
2. Narc Mother
3. Narc ex wife.
It is fantastic and unseemly that your Narc family of origin had anything to do with Mr Narc, especially in relation to their grandchildren. This is more than a red flag – this is a red alert!
But keep digging and thinking and questioning….
yes! I have witnessed this… even to the point when the 'normal' parent tries to discipline the child or maintain a healthy boundary or standard and the child is basically brainwashed to identify healthy parenting to being abused?! It is insidious, the length the narcissist goes to … to maintain the false self… I like how you call it a fossilized true self. well done! I am sorry you had to go through it, but am grateful for your insight…
Thank You for sharing this. I am going thru the same thing myself and this is helping me to see the situation a little more clearly. "enmeshment with a pathological parent"
My overt narc father made my covert narc mother the bad one in the house. My GC brother treated my mother like crap and she had to ask him if she could use the second car, etc. Everything said in this video is true!
Thank you for wording this so perfectly for me. You are validating my experience. I am crying but I feel relieved at the same time. My children arrogance is off the chart. I am now voiceless. Anything I say or do is abuse. The only option to remain in this family is be their doormats. I am no longer a person. That shift of balance happened almost all of a sudden, I didn't see it coming because I kept making excuses for my beloved. Wishing you the best. Keep strong