As if gaslighting during the relationship isn’t bad enough, the effects of the gaslighting continue long after the discard until you see it all for what it really was: the …
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The Narcissist’s Discard Is Their Final Act of Gaslighting
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I understand and agree.
Its like the roll of the mother son relationship. I don't like that and I don't need that. Its like whatever. I don't need this after 4 years of being together. I know I can Be a control freak I won't deny it but this was to the point where if a guy gives you a damn ring and tells you one thing and then does another cheated and did everything wrong, its over. I can't do that any more. I am not his mother I can set all the boundaries but its all bunch of BS. I am done. I really don't care…. Just stop and Grow up your and adult acting like a adolescent. I am through…. I struggle with abandonment issues and I could not do it any more.
Thank you for sharing this horrible experience. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Are you an Empath? (I've heard narcs really like empaths as their prey.) You seem so sweet – how could someone treat you like that?! I hope you found the love you deserve. Thanks again for the video!!
Thank you so much! I gone through much of almost the exact experience, The only difference, it was with a Female. The clarity of your experience totally hits home with me regarding the behaviors, and impact upon my emotions experienced, and truly crystalizes my actions going forward. Thank you again!!
This is so true!! So glad you can laugh about it now!
wow I feel like you were talking about me. Thank you for laying that out in detail, I knew I knew better,yet felt like I was going crazy.
What he said might be true – he might be scared to death of intimacy. Closeness might freak him out.
Yeah these fuckers cause cancer. They are cancer.
They all play the same game as if it's original. Like my mom says. "They're looking for someone to put up with their shit."
I wasted four years of my life with my Narcissist. He told me he is a Christian and would attend church and would say the most beautiful prayers. A couple of weeks into dating him I discovered he has not only eating disorder but also porn addictions. I called the relationship off then he flew into a rage. After I left he pursued me with romantic emails and told me he's willing to change. Gas lighting and putting me down was his techniques. I finally had enough and ended it once & for all
Thank You
You put the words to exactly how i felt. Thank you. Hugs from Mauritius
I'm sorry I've watched so many of these now and it's so frustrating. She's calling me the narcissist. I can't say a word as it makes me the narc. Incredible!! I should have stayed gone when I broke up the first time. Since then it seems she asked me back, I think its been to make me pay for leaving. She continued calling me an alcoholic and breaking up with me and getting back together. Arguing and saying "what are you going to hit me now" or that I'm gaslighting her for saying look in the mirror at what your saying. I feel like I'm insane now. Why do I miss this person so damn much???
Wow! I've watched/listened to so many videos~to try & figure out ~by trial & error, if there was a name for the kind of person I'm trying to free myself of~ and FINALLY I found yours!.. Thank goddess. I felt like goldilocks & the 3 bears analogy.Finally finding that perfect fitting explanation! I totally get~ what he did, how you felt & responded, and the impossible struggle of trying to figure out & understand what the hell was happening. . I'm pretty sure I could have told you before you told us~ how unexpectedly extreme & contradictory his reactions to your actions would be. You were so right on the spot about the difficulty in wrapping your head around all of it, to try to figure it out so you understand WTH just happened! I have been going thru that same thought process for the past 4 1/2 years (alot more off than on) .
I am shaking right now after hearing the story about how approx. just 72 hrs of your life, changed your life in such a devastating way, and like myself ~ especially the first time~ never saw it coming! I am so sorry that you have experienced the same unforgivable betrayal, heartbreak, headfu**, confusion, humiliation, abandonment and manipulation that I feel I have. But I thank you so much for coming forward /this video because I actually feel validated that it really isn't me! I keep having out loud talks w/myself & also imaginary ones (out loud as if practicing) and realizing alot of the things you've said here~ on my own. But I am one of those people that for 1.) Doesn't hold on to anger or grudge after I calm down(for most part) & 2.) I too have abandonment issues! Besides dad walking out when I was 6 & I thought I was daddys girl~ also since 2002 I have lost 2 men I believed I was going to spend rest of this life with.( one to cancer & one in a truck wreck), as well as 2 ex husbands(one health related & one to suicide)He knows or thinks he knows that if he stays away long enough & Im not seeing anyone, that he can manipulate me and play on my loneliness to set me up again! BUT after hearing you and truly knowing how right you are about what in reality I have got to do~ there is nothing he can say or do at this point to have another chance to stomp on my heart ever again!! And I would normally say that he probably wont even try, but really? I do know he will. The big difference right now and from this moment on~ the cycle STOPS here and NOW!!:)
So I'll stop what is becoming a book and thank you for educating us and for sharing! Have a great life!
what is ghosting?
sleep deprivation is the first step in mind control.
Thank you so much for this video. I recognise every behaviour you describe your ex using from a past relationship that wounded me terribly. I never understood why the person did and said what she did and so could never heal, but as I watched your video so many things slotted into place and made sense at last.
He sounds more histrionic or borderline than just narcissist. He could have traits of all of them–but he sounds like a freak and it's good you let go.
For everyone that needs help and wants this pain to stop check out Lisa A. Ramono. These problems are of a codependent nature and she explains how to stop the cycle! I didn't realize all along I was attracting narcissist! Ross Rosenberg also can help so we can stop attracting shit. The sickning stories I could tell…. btw, Thankyou for yours. For all in confusion, The answer is to do the work of compassion for ourselves~ not pitty or bing stuck in having them or "friends" see they are wrong, that keeps us a victim.. oh , and friends you WILL be tested, weed out those poor bastards, they will not be your problem anymore. I was starting to believe that was the the way men are. As. God as my witness we are here to love the self by walking away from all abuse. Dear ones , remember to forgive but don't look "go" back!
Thanks a lot for sharing! It has been very important to me to watch things about it. Because the guy wants to come back after disappearing for no reason… Yeah… And exactly the same about blaming… I hope you're better now, girl! I wish you success! And it was a really sweet decision to share.
My narc thinks its ok to humiliate me, disrespect me and treat me like crap and when I dare to react to his treatment it's always my fault. I'm alway just wanting to fight according to him. EVERY TIME. He also flirts right in front of me while ignoring me. He knows exactly what he's doing. He knows I"m going to react to his bad behavior….I mean BAD behavior. We were in Kroger one night and this nice looking woman walks by us and pokes me with his elbow and sais to me * HEY BABY GO OVER THERE AND SEE IF YOU CAN GET THAT WOMANS PHONE NUMBER FOR ME"….By itself it seems silly and petty for me to be upset about that but when this type of thing has happened thousands of times I just get so tired of it ya know? They will literally drive you insane.
They disappear because there looking for more supply
Oh god… the "i was scared of getting closer" thing… I can't believe
they do exactly the same identical stuff here in Italy and there in the States! Same bullshit, different languages!! ah ah ah it would be hilarious if it was not so sad
I have known minor Narcs, even a couple female Narcs. The main Narc was someone I dated when I was 20, then several years later,8 years after my divorce he came back. I was wiser at that point. I didn't know what a narc was when I was 20. btw ~ He was from Seattle, too!! I recognized the signs when he was punishing and distancing me. I ended it with him, he wouldn't accept it. I ignored him, he kept emailing me, so, I had his emails diverted to a folder I didn't have to see.I'm wiser, now, have figured out how to avoid male AND female narcissists.
T.hey are just absolutely full of shit and a utter waste of time. That's it. We have to understand that. Once I figured that out, now I'm the one who treats them like the pieces of crap they are. They only respect when you treat them like shit because they know that is what their behavior warrants. Straight psycho delusional
I am one year complete no contact, with a personal promise to stay single another year, while searching for the right direction to honest self forgiveness, I found your video and I am glad I did, I just want you to know that it did help in more ways than I could possibly explain, and I want to emphatically thank you for having the courage to relive that dark time publicly in order to share your journey. Thank you!
I knew he was going to mind fuck you! I figured he'd keep you up all night so you couldn't be rested for your interview. Awful!
Thank you so much for your video. I've been there too, but it only took me some weeks to gain perspective as I readily figrured what this person was by close hearing and watching (thank you youtube videos). And yeah I really sensed the sudden shift in attitude, in the languaje he called me, and over all the ghosting, it felt so weird and I had no frame of reference either and this person blamed it on my "insecurity" it was only my fault being insecure as I had always had been an insecure… I never got to discuss my "insecurity" issues with this person face to face as the grand finale was by text message when I tried to assert myself by asking some questions and saying that maybe I was not the insecure one on the relationship. I was totally confussed and shocked, the feeling of dispair and abandonment is intense and didn't belive this person could be the same lovely one I met before that promissed the sky and heaven to me just a few days back. I Guess I was not a good supply anymore. I now know I am lucky and dodged a major bullet. Now this person is trying to contact me as I made no contact.