PayPal: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=4A6H7S326KDHL ollie_mathews@yahoo.com …
source
The Narcissist’s Moments Of Happiness Are Holding You Back
Related posts
-
Great YouTube channel explains that pet cats can be victims of Narcissistic abuse too – Danish Bashir
Great YouTube channel explains that pet cats can be victims of Narcissistic abuse too – Danish... -
3 (+1) early signs you are dating a Narcissist
Discussing 3 tell-tale signs you may have entered into relationship with a Narcissist. See if you... -
Snippy and Me: Black Guy
The ongoing saga of two embattled best friends – a genetically engineered conservative sociopath played by...
yes, "they are anchors" – yes! I do love it when you philosophize. :)
No moment of 'happiness' with a narc bully is worth keeping contact with any narc. bully, when you are an adult .
Even the 'happy moments' are not really happy moments but perhaps a moment of 'less abuse' or less harmful abuse. (And the child looks at those less abusive moments as a happy moment, when , in reality, those moments are still moments of abuse or moments of slavery).
Never, ever be fooled by what 'appears' to be moments of happiness. Those experiences are what truly show the sneakiness and the evilness of the narcissitic bully.
And disagree about that one thing you say there. YES, they do realize what they do and did.
They do realize how abusive they are. That's why they do most of it without witnesses.
Good video. Good information about the sneakiness, and the underhandedness and about the pre-meditated anger of the narcissistic bully.
move on was what was used by them ti stop getting children back reverse adoption.moving on doesnt have to ve way they dictate to us.and them refusing to reverse or go back and stop processes after wrong doing til reached finality.like saying to some one whose stuff has been stolen when they report it to move on.well moving is getting it back and finding culprit .not letting it fester until its so long ago and permanebrly rirreversable.never allow a person to perish.this stop living in past is dangerous nonsense sometimes.esp when usex by "narcs".or sw you do not allow people to perish or refuse to tell chold about it or allow lobg term consequences to go unchecked and unacvounted for.or use stop living on past move on to stoo them prevenring consequences.because there is future.and if you do not help when it is in your power to do so he who percieves the heart will know it.
Ollie, forgive me if this seems pedantic but I hope to make a distinction – what you're referring to as "introversion" is not actually introversion. Introversion is the characteristic of renewing one's energy in solitude and expending energy when dealing with other people, as opposed to extroversion which is the pattern in which a person finds it draining to be alone and has to spend time with others to psychologically fuel up. Introversion is not a problem or anything to hold a person back. What you're talking about – an unwillingness or inability to try something – might be a lot of things including excessive shyness (a quality of being slow to warm up to new people and experiences) or social phobia, but it isn't introversion. I just believe that it's important to disambiguate terms like this which are commonly confused or misunderstood. I hope that's of help. Thank you so much for this video and all the rest.
You are so right Ollie.
I've been fed 14 years of morsels and crumbs……I finally have an exit plan out of this dark tunnel………called divorce……..thanks for your video and allowing me to vent.
Thank you…..
for me personally, this was your absolute best video yet. it was exactly what I needed to hear tonight. thank you.
wow, this was like you were talking directly to me.
this is terrific, Ollie! This pretty much sums up why I feel that I have let opportunities pass me by and stayed stuck in the same place up until now. It was like life was a game but you needed to know the secret 'code' to play it. Everyone else around me, my friends and colleagues, all seemed to have that 'code' and followed their dreams and ambitions because they knew how to. I stayed back and watched on. I was very confused. I think I was too frightened to be so impertinent to think that I would have a right to my own dreams and ambitions, and I was also too frightened to fail. My failure was a huge source of supply for my mother, so I just tried to be satisfied with what I had and stay under the radar. Now, I have put myself in the drivers seat (after therapy!)and it feels amazing.Thanks Ollie. Nice one.
@ 1:38: "you don't even know what you like." SO TRUE!!!! 4 decades of that for me, FOO and then a narc son-husband (now ex, thank goodness), telling me who I was (and wasn't – boy, they love to knock you down!) and imposing their version of "reality" on me. Self-care, self-improvement, following your wishes and dreams – all that healing stuff is extremely challenging when YOU HAVE NO SELF. With all the boundary-crossing especially, I'm still trying to grasp the concept of "me" – I understand it, certainly, from a cerebral perspective (that I have some sort of existence separate from the world around me), but it's so very foreign to what I lived for so long it feels frustratingly unattainable at times. Interesting perspective, Ollie… appreciate you sharing; you have a way of putting things into words that I find very helpful, gets my spinning thoughts untangled. Kudos.
One of the biggest battles we have to fight is that while we are hardwired to desire a close bond with our family, and we are hardwired for relationship, unfortunately some familial bonds will kill us. They will simply kill us. I'm not sure if I agree that the narcissists don't know how much they've hurt us…I think they simply don't care. They never thought past the next second after they have done something to hurt us. It's why they keep returning to the same well to drawn their supply. if they took the time to think about it, they would move on. We're the ones who go no contact, not them.
You're going to a new level of introspection, and I think that's a good thing. I'm sorry you're hurting, Ollie. What your family is doing is inexcusable.
You're right, a thief always thinks that he is surrounded by thieves, and a murderer thinks all around him are murderers..that is projection…cheer up Ollie, the fact that you started this channel shows that you know who you are, and no one can take that away from you.
Hi Ollie, I stumbled upon your videos by accident, and I have to say that you have a gift for connecting with people; maybe you should consider a formal qualification in counselling, so that could be your career for the future. You have helped myself and my husband quite a lot, sometimes we sit together and watch you, and we identify in many of the topics you cover. Cheers from the UK from Rose and James…
Thank you Ollie!!! *HUGs* to you and the brother and sisterhood of survivors. What a WOW thought provoking and moment or realization. you have delivered with this message.
The horror of being raised by a narcissist. Every interaction was poisoned as is every sweet memory…ESPECIALLY the ones you cling to.
Understanding that your vivacious, empathetic mother never really loved you and was only looking after her interests the way a person sensibly would any investment property is unimaginable. Until you realize that's exactly what happened.
i watched some of your older videos and hardly recognized you!
i love the anchor analogy.
awesome video ollie!! i dont agree tho they do intentionally drop breadcrumbs in our lives. its a control tactic to màke sure were still hooked.
i agree ppl esp codependent ppl get stuck and dont want to progress or move one because theyre afraid of losing what little they have. the narc slowly conditions so we are ok with less and less
yup been fighting to stay in a crumb my whole life. the compulsion repetition isn't driven by the memory of abuse but by the intermittent approval when you felt such relief.