Why Leaving a Narcissist is so Dicey
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This is a great video, however, I'd like to point out that retaliation or "revenge" as you call, it is normal. "You hurt me, I'll hurt you" is natural and not necessarily narcissistic, because from my experience, for narcs, it's "You hurt me, even the slightest, and I'll destroy you." which is much different than actually wanting to "even the score". I love your hair btw
simply thank you!
My family is psychotic I don't have any
I need help I am a borderline with 2kids who is trying to escape an abusive Narcissist
I have learned over the years to; 1-have a good therapist 2-family, friends, (police alerts).
3- have cash stowed away and hidden for emergencies. You owe nothing to the narcissists. they are all lazy and demand you do eveything. all the work. and they are assholes.
Is it normal to feel paranoid that he knows you are leaving? Recording you, putting spyware on your phone?? I have a question that's about what he has on his phone of me such as pictures. Will he show this stuff to people I know? Videos..??
I wish I had seen this video before I left. I would have been more confident about his having NPD. My narc is def a coward. Like you said, preferring to use texts and trying to bait me into reacting emotionally. The only difference with my case is that my narc's cycle of abuse-honeymoon-abuse, etc never, ever involved him apologizing or admitting a fault. Somehow, I found myself apologizing when he raged, cussed me, and threatened me. I apologized to end the uncomfortable silent treatment, unbearable death stares and huffing and puffing. Only when I approached him and smoothed things over, would things return to "normal" again. My narc never apologized for anything. So glad I divorced him. Thanks for the great videos.
first thanks so much for your video! my ex (onley 3 weeks sins i break up) will never ever do someting to win me back ,he is so angry!!! and also realy passif so im confused now, so what can i expact?
Thank you wonderful as usual ..
Straight and to the point and clear, I've been watching alot of people on this subject, and some are all over the place but I love your direct to the point approach…and omg everything is soooooooooooooo true about them. I have chills at the fact that THEY ARE ALL ALIKE, no matter where in the world.
I really appreciate your videos. I like way you deliver the info too, like an informal relaxed lecture. Guess I'll always be a student at heart!
Do you have any info to share about the narcs that change MO. My narc was overt and covert at the same time. He was covering every base. As he aged he relied heavily on his covert MO. Have you ever known this type of double narc personality before?
They also are masters at financial abuse.
I know this is not on topic but I think your tshirt is fun. Where can I buy one if there is a website? Lol
if you force a narc to text, they are powerless to manipulate, cuz they cant say they didn't say something when its in writing. and they cant say you twisted what they said
no coucelors in pittsfield ma seem to be well versed in personality disorders–so what then? the brein center seems to be a joke. sorry to be so judgmental but i cant just jump cities to get the right treatment, and other therapists i have worked with it will be years and no growth.
WOW I've watched hundreds of videos about narcissistic/codependent relationships (since I'm going through it right now) and I appreciate the way in which you present your information. So many other channels focus on long-winded, horrific personal stories and examples and it just terrifies me, sometimes it bores me, and it always brings me down. I'm just looking for ideas and suggestions – not bitter, angry stories. So thanks for the non-personal info!
Thank you so much for this video
Thanks so much for this video! When you started talking of owning your past a light went on in my head because my ex narc, golden child turned scapegoat, did use any past abuse or wrongs to yell for sometimes hours. He'd flip if I dared mention what he's done which near the end of us I became numb emotionally & had more panic attacks. Even if I told him it did happen in my past, after he'd bring up me being gang raped & I was in a PTSD state then it was MY fault for the panics. When he'd say to get over it, I'm too sensitive & yell its OK for his narc enabler dad to tell rape "jokes"…Those are not jokes. I'm not too sensitive.
Narcs cannot love as you said. I know their sick masks, the acts. I'm on a path out.
can' Agree with this. in my case I have no Rellatives left. Everyone left me, when I Divorced my Abuser
i can not agree with some of this stuff 🙁 i was the one kept wanting him back, i was the too forgiving one, i am the one that did not know how to place boundaries on my love, i am sick in bed most of the time, the sicker i got the madder he got, he dissed me to so many friends and family, he was the outgoing harming one in the end, which was the woman i was and he mirrored that well, i stopped being able to be the log splitter the snow plow the garden tractor, it hit him like a ton of bricks, he ghosted me all the time, yes i the one who used to call to see if he was ok and where he was, some of this seem bit backwards lol and HE left me but with my best wishes GB
How do you know when your ex narc is about to try hovering you? How do I prepare myself for it?
Kris how we doing good I hope! Hey! Here is a strange one for ya! Instead of leaving a narc! Because I have to see this unrecoverable borderline at work 5 days a week! It's like punching in at the firery furnace so to speak! Lol, when it's time to punch out! I'm like a greyhound out of the shoot! How do we get the narc to leave! And shut down all monkeys! You know flip the coin! Just wondering! Thx
Your videos are great. I have been dealing with narcissists all my life and am trying to deal with the aftermath. Your videos are encouraging and one day at a time I will be able to shake it all off. Thanks so much!
My covert narc didn't keep me up at night. He was the ignoring type. However, when he left I was scared to death because he was showing a rage I hadn't seen before. He's been hoovering by email about every other month, asking me to send things to him that were rotting in a cardboard box in the garage for 6 years. I expect the smear campaign to begin when divorce papers are served later this month. He tried to run over a former affair partner with his car so I know he has the potential for violence. Thankfully he's over 1000 miles away and has no money to travel here.
Leaving my narcissistic mother was not difficult for me to leave. I wrote her a no contact letter telling her everything I needed to tell her, because if I were to tell her in person I would never get my point across, because she's good at throwing me off balance and it would be a be a big ugly argument and I would have been in jail. It's been a year since I cut my narc mother and her flying monkeys which are my sisters which they are low lives.I have been very happy and have taken my power back. plus I have exposed her and my sisters on my channel. I have helped others on my channel.
mine doesn't like texting.
love ur videos. so quick and well spoken. really helped my family so far. far superior to many others. actually shareable with a ton of info in a short amount of time. i would love to see more about borderline and female narcissism. specifically, how do u know if someone is dangerous? also, how does one determine "borderline with narcisstic expression" and simply narcissist?
again, thank you so much. i have read/watched so many articles/books and videos and your videos rock. thank you.
He's back because he gets half of my earnings through the divorce. I get 1/2 of his debt and he gets 1/2 of my bank account. I filed because of his financial abuse on top of his emotional, verbal, mental abuse. Now he went out and took out a $50,000 personal loan! He signed a paper saying he wouldn't do that….? He thinks he is above the law.
Everything you have said is true. My 30th anniversary is tomorrow and the first 27 years I really did think it was all me. He told me he was happy and therefore, the problem was in my mind. Then I found out about this thing called 'narcissism'.
What an eye opener. Listening to youtube and reading reading reading …has opened my eyes to the truth. Now he is in love with the 'appearance' of being the victim of this divorce.
Great advice! Thank you
Wonderful analogy with the clock. I left the narcissist, causing what I believe to be a narcissist collapse. Could you touch on the collapse issue on future videos?