Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths wear masks, a false self they project because they do not have or have buried their true self. The person you fell in …
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The Hurt & Shock of Seeing Who The Narcissist REALLY Is After a Break-Up Once The Mask Is Gone
You touched on something very important, self forgiveness! I too lived in denial. Wanting to trust and believe in him. Wanting a real loving relationship. I find that forgiving myself is as hard as forgiving him. I let him, do what he did but turning my face away from stuff that I knew wasn't right, even stuck up for him when other would see it, as he had even stopped hiding it, buy yelling horrid names at me as he would make his grand exits. Yes, I find forgiving myself something I have to do before I even try to forgive him, yet again. And I have found that no contact, although hard. is the only way to keep myself safe from him and his twisted world. Thank you for being there…I cant get enough understanding into this mental disorder. I want to know everything so that if I will see one walking towards me and run the oither way. God Bless You
I know, this is the craziest part, it like multiples, lol
this is my view if you go out with somone who treats you like shit its your own fault if you keep putting up with it and i have no sympathy for you why would you wanna be with somone you KNOW is a psychopath or a narcissist ya just want attention im sorry to be nasty but women an people who sit there putting up with this over an over again then want everyone to feel sorry for you an on top of it hes a psychopath narcissist wat laugh i think you probly get off on it just from listening to you
lol
you be married to a serial killer thats why you see all these differant personas alot of stuff that dont doesnt add up
You have just described my last 25 years. He never existed. Our marriage was all an illusion. He's marrying my "best" friend who has three bastard kids just to have his own little puppet factory. It is amazing what we convince ourselves of in order to ignore the boulder heading straight for us.
I needed to hear this. Almost 6 years after the discard, sometimes he still fools me. Thank you for the validation of struggle.
I cry as I listened to you talk. it's been aprox 17 months since the disguard. the sad thing is I do still love him or should I say the person that he mirrored the entire year and a half we were together. which I guess is me… how can I miss him so much especially after the things he has done to me said to me and things he has told me. this I can't comprehend. I want to, I need to and I have to because I can't handle anymore. I have no one to talk to. my insurance won't pay for me talk to a therapist and I know I need to talk to someone that can help me understand. I believed this man to be my friend my soul mate. the things he told me are scary, what he did to me most women would never forgive. but I forgave him because I truly thought he was sorry, but now I believe it because I didn't want to believe he could do what he did to me. and to have to believe that everything that was good between us were lies. to know he did what he did to get what he needed from me. all the phone calls where we would talk for hours were lies. all the times we were together was a lie. all the times that he was there for me when something bad woukd happen and I would be upset and crying, he was there for me but now to know it wasn't to help me, it was to see me in pain and that he got off on seeing me hurt. I trusted this man with my life. but now to know he could have easily took my life as I slept beside him, stayed at his house with him or him at mine. your right about one thing that is so true. to know that everything I had with him was a lie. that the person that I love don't exist and never has. to know that I truly mean nothing to him other then a means to his supply. but how do I get over this man. what can I do to hate him for what he did to me. why do i feel bad when I write the word hate. the worst part is learning how to forgive my self. forgive my self for letting this person not only into my life but my daughters and my little yorkies. maybe if I could forgive my self I would be able to move on but maybe not. I just wish I had some help, help from someone thst knows exactly what I'm going through. someone that if I was to tell them the things he did and said if he might have done these things because I don't know what to believe. I know what my gut tells me but my heart don't want to believe. I don't know if it's because I'm to scared to believe. because believing that this man could do these things means what he told me could be true. and if there true then it's very scary. I have a lot of bad days since the disguard but it has gotten better but I still Ave bad days like today when I think and wonder why and cry. sorry for so long but any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you so much for this I needed this God bless
This just happened to me, but this time it was the person I called my 'best friend' … sad day, but grateful to have better clarity these days.
BITCH
Cluster B disorders? The person they play? So basically there isn't really a person inside, they're just playing one…? Your ex probably was a terrible person, but throwing this stigma and simplifications into the world is just wrong. I really don't mean to offend you, because I get what you're talking about, but as far as I'm concerned, only one word is needed for people who abuse others. Starts we the first letter of the alphabet and ends with a "hole".
Eddie T.F. Out
One night after the final break up I asked the “web” why it is so hard to break up. I was looking for tools to repair my self-esteem. Geeze I didn’t have a clue what I was experiencing or what was ahead.
Answer: Borderline Personality Disorder and to make matters worse it was very much later I had determine she was the waif type that is the worst of the worst. In general men are bad at asking for help, it’s not till the shit really gets bad. The man’s, man in me dam near killed me, I did not seek professional help per say. I hung
on to hope that in time I would survive this. First battle depression, one foot in front of the other (1.5 years) I can do this, second battle ptsd (1year)buck up ride it out you can do this, third year cptsd dam it David research
more you are in the middle of the ocean,swim motherf….. Forth year chemicals in my head are not balancing out, with sweat, blood, and dust on my face I force myself
to gladiator up “you son of a bitch if you fall you better fall forward”. Each battle I persevered and got better, however had I known what I was dealing with I would of seek help from the very beginning – Ah day light, then my mother dies.
I crawled into a hole pulled debris over myself and slept for weeks. I can’t do this by myself alone anymore God, help me my Father!!! The third floor man told me WE can do this and we did. I now see it as an unwanted gift that was found on the road of life,however nothing comes free. I would not recommend a person to go this route, seek professional at all cost!!!!!!
People do change as they get older
And I was shunned for Ten years from an organized religion and I turned narcissistic. When I was taken into a positive light being reinstated I turned more positive and left harder narcissist ways I went back to my joyful childhood
I believe people are positive and negative inside.
Negative polarity would bring out the Mask
We all have a dark side
in the process of divorcing a man that I was married to for almost 18 years who is now major depressive psychotic. so sad bc we have special needs kids together. talk about paranoid and delusional. they are a totally different person. ugh. it sucks so bad
OMG this is so helpful and explains so much. Thank You
I'm going through this it just happened, again,
The planning and plotting is beyond comprehension.
Now we know.
The last words spoken to me at my 3rd D&D was "Dont let a shark bite you twice"
I really hate him. And Ive never hated anyone in my life.
This sounds all to familiar. When the fog of cognitive dissonance lifts the nightly theatrical drama act started on the very first date for me. Damn the red flags I ignored. And went back! WTH ! So very disturbing that I allowed or didn't call out the absurdities. Yes they "duped" us. Tricked by evil. The hardest part is the difficulty in realizing the depth of their disorder. Bailing on someone intent on your destruction is not anything else besides instinctual survival. They tried to murder our minds.
OMG, you describe who you thought your narcissist husband to be just the way I describe my covert narcissistic ex husband who in the end strangled me. It completely threw me for a loop.
we were with the same guy. they sound like twins. Crazy how patterned this behaviour is. MIne told me " You wouldn't recognize the man I used to be" omg the man he still was, and was hiding until I was discarded.
Here's what I get from this: The narcissist knows who he/she is. They present a face of charm, false love etc. If they were simply mentally ill, and didn't know that their true intent in terms of the relationship was to manipulate, deceive, and ruin the people they presume to love that is the true evil. That they want to leave you under the worst possible circumstances, that is the cruelty of it. When you begin to think of yourself as only supply. Nothing special. All those years stolen from your life and they knew all along. I mean, why? Why bother to do this to someone unsuspecting, unless this person is cruel and evil. The more I learn about this personality disorder, the more the outcome of my life at this late date finally comes into focus and explains what really happened.
being in this situation with this narcissist the person develops a caring and compassionate manor to get the inner most fears and feelings from you they then use them to control ,I can tell you they will use these information against you it is part of their power game, People like this promise the world but give you nothing.You are not connecting with a normal person , you are being played by an uncompassionate person, we are living a dream as you say, we want the dream they tell you the dream but they are playing you for their gain. We need to try to trust people in future but we need to see the signs. be there done that get as far away from this prick as you possible can!!!!! no contact at all, tell him to move on to his next victim.
at first early on I felt she was borderline..just crazy erratic behaviors..then i thought bipolar(as she had once told me it runs in the family) -then an alcoholic-so she quit joined AA and stuck with it…then it was a "depression" according to her…
On two major breakups including the last and what appears to be the last I said "you're a narcissist!!!!' i wasn't tossing that word out for effect – in all my frustration and rage I really meant it..like "you are insane!" Once she took booze out of the equation the PD still remained perhaps coming on stronger… My point being: I tried to rationalize and perhaps she did to: altho it was more like an excuse: like Im depressed so no wonder I drank and beat you..cant work etc….
Sounds like myself honestly. I definitely have antisocial/psychopathic/borderline traits.
I don't really have an identity, to myself anyway. I can feel love but 2 seconds later, it can completely disappear, and I now hate that person, or think they are pointless.
…so sad but so true …
Please do not group a borderline with a narcissist as the same because I was a very faithful borderline who was destroyed by a narcissist, thanks
the trauma is real …
Well said and so very true. One of the hardest possible things to do is to heal from this.
Wait a minute. Do I hear the sound effects of a rattle snake in the background? OMG, If so, it is perfect. Preach Sista Preach.
I can relate to a lot of whats said in this video. Very good job on explaining the way these people mess with your head and own emotions, it's something none of my friends or family can relate to and its validating to know that I'm not crazy for feeling this way. Thanks for putting up the video <3
the society blamed everything on men even thoigh 95% of the divorce in western world are files by women. I'm so glad I dont mess with fat stupid women America is producing anymore. the only reason you are wining is because the foreign man wont let you treat him any kind of way.
I'm just months away from officially divorcing my monster, my narcissistic sociopath of THIRTY-TWO years. There is nothing I don't know or haven't been through. Feel free to ask. He has been the worst hell in my life, but what worse than living with a Narcissist, is seeing the pure evil exude from their pores once they deem you their enemy. Unless one has lived with a Narcissist or even worked closely with one on a daily basis for many years as my soon-to-be-ex Narcissistic's ex-partners have, no one can even fathom how deeply dark, deceitful, manipulative, vengeful and evil this person can be. Sadly, it's too easy to be charmed and fooled by these masters of disguise. They do NOT get better with time, the better they know you, the better they can control and manipulate you. Do not confuse control for love as I did all those years ago. Believe nothing they say and know that every single thing they do in their life is either to make themselves look better to others or to benefit themselves in one way or another. Their life is all and only about THEM!
it is sad when they dont even look like the person we thought we know. not only do they do even more to hurt us but thier eyes, body language, facial expressions, and basically every thing about them is different! these videos help me to grasp reality and validate what I knew but couldn't believe! thank you so much!
I justified my ex-narc's homicidal and suicidal rants and threats as coming from a place of depression and inebriation. I'll never know the real man, ever, but I'm grateful that I no longer need to waste my mental energy wondering.