From my book The Human Magnet Syndrome: Covert narcissists are masters of disguise — successful actors, humanitarians, politicians, clergy members, and …
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Covert Narcissists A Wolves In Sheep’s Clothing. Cloaked Narcissists. Pretend Codependents. Expert.
Omg how do you tell if you are one?? I tend to get freaked out when people say I do stuff wrong. I don't yell or scream at them though, I just feel so guilty. My dad was always telling me I do everything wrong and constantly tried to correct me. Although that could just be me searching for a justification?AHHH I can't tell if I am a co-dependent or in the end I am just a narcissist!! How do you tell if you are selfish or what you have is a boundary? I am so confussseedddd all the ttiiimmmmeee arghhhhh. My brain is a labyrinth lol omg.
Why are these relationships more common than 2 codependents or two honest caring people? Why aren't there more relationships that have two narcissists or two healthy people? Do we just not get to witness them?
Ross You are a beautiful man.
haha.. "have to give you feedback at something you're doing wrong" weird that I'm laughing but it describes exactly his attitude. this is exactly what I'd try to do and he would just explode at me..or ignore me, he told me I was gas lighting him for asking him this question.. it really messed up my perspective as to what this type of abuse is for using those phrases now that I'm learning about this stuff afterwards. I'm having a really hard time after this relationship, especially since I know I did do certain things that were wrong in the past, just very confused working this out.
My supervisor is a covert narcissist, and she will stop at nothing. I used to be in charge of the Check book we write petty cash checks from, and thank God I convinced her to let someone be in charge of it. I was too afraid she would plant them somewhere on or in my desk and I would be accused of stealing. It still makes me nervous because she comes in, she is the only one, on the weekends and she is on the war patch with me at this moment, and noticed she went through my desk. She purposely left it opposite the way I had it. Any suggestions how I can protect myself from this possibility?
yes so ture! !!!!
great video!#
Thank you so much, I feel so understood right now.
I love all your videos and I'm now waiting for your book to arrive! Thank you
Just getting out of a relationship with a covert narc. The pain this person is instilling is incredible. To the point of crazy. As you said best to cut my losses and move on but there is something that keeps me engaged and I don't know what. I think its the promise of it'll be better then it's not.
Agreed! It's a clever way to get that narcissistic supply… I'll get the hint they are pretending because they will brag and boast in what may appear to be the trait of humility… Tricky tricky.
Vids like this help us keep eight steps ahead of the spider by showing us how to hide our traits better even from family and friends.. slow kill, not overt..then tada victory!
Finally! someone that understands the ho it feels to tormented by such a person. I finally confronted my stealth narcissist about many subjects, criticisms and mind f***s that had me feeling like I was socially retarded. She retreated and divorced with vengeance and a campaign to alienate me from anything or anyone I love. I am on my own after 30 years of the show and I'm finally not a nervous wreck at work or in public. Thanks for this proof that I'm not insane but I actually survived this shit.
My advise is – Do Not expose them. They will rage and get emotionally & physically abusive. Get away from them before they try to injure or almost kill you. Domestic abuse is usually perpetrated by a narcissist. Leave before it's too late.
. . . Love, Peace and Protection
My advise is Do Not expose them. They will rage and get emotionally & physically abusive. Get away from them before they try to injure or kill you. Domestic abuse is usually perpetrated by a narcissist. Leave before it's too late.
. . . Love, Peace and Protection
the problem is that people who have been groomed by narcissist (or very narcissistic) parents maybe blind as to what selfish means. They can easily be sucked in by the false persona. And you're right- the worst thing is that outside people don't get tolinearlyast the facade. It's so frustrating and lonely when no one else can see the truth.
Thanks so much. I would love a video on raising kids around narcissist. Kids being used by narcissist in triangles against other parents, how to keep kids healthy and happy, and to work with narcissist around children to be positive influence.
Great video. Dr Rosenberg you are precisely describing 'Pope' Jorge 'Francis' Bergoglio.
This is so true. This describes my father perfectly.
Unfortunately, many self-centered individuals have turned the comment section into a "feel-sorry-for-me" section. After all, maybe they are not any better at carrying and radiating positive energy than the narcissist in their life they are complaining about. Just a thought.
thank you Mr Rosenberg for the video very helpful and informative I just had an experience with a narcissistic I did not realize that I was speaking with one until I guess I made him feel threatened so he tried to retaliate with a shaming and humiliation tactic was shocking and an experience that I will never forget this person is the very personality that you described he runs a supposedly christian sobriety program and totally gave himself up by blurting back with a vengeance comments infront of the group totally inappropriate comments that were mind blowing I am sure they were aimed at me because he is exposed as a fraud… bragging. how he scams the government for tax write off for a phony fraudulent support organizations for recovering addicts… now I know what a narcissistic injury is… thank you for sharing your experience and expertise
neighbors will tell me all the time, "your husband is so sweet and he seems to love and adore you." I'm saying to myself, "if you only knew what I deal with at home." He puts everyone else first. It's always been this way.
My husband abused me and he used our oldest daughter for many many years against me. He told others I wasn't well, and wasn't a nice person while he maintained a sane profile to others with his kindness and normalisation of convincing them he was a good man. I tried to tell some close friends but no one really believed what I was saying because he was a good actor and managed to charm others into his false personality. I realise through much research that I've been in a covert narcissist relationship for 33yrs. Even though I'm 51yrs old and have come to this realisation , I'm not going to give up. The very core of our being as a human is that we all have the right, and need to be shown dignity and respect. We are all individuals and are unique. Thank you for the love , compassion, and dedication you continue to show all those in need 🙂 xxx
I live with someone like this.
This description of Fragile Narcissism is wrong. Before the 1990s psychiatrists diagnosed Covert Narcissists as Borderlines with moderate narcissism. The narcissism of CNs actually prevents the Borderline abusing and exploiting people. Christian Grey in 50 Shades of Grey is a Counter Dependent Fragile Narcissist. Shades of Grey is a Borderline expression. Robbie Williams is this type. There is also a Codependent variety of CN. Madonna and Katy Perry are this type. Covert Narcissists were so named because their grandiosity is mainly internalised behind a modest weak false self. Hence the expression Thin skinned Narcissist. Codependent CNs are also called Closet or Inverted Narcissists. CNs are only low level pathological narcissists. A moderately narcissistic sub type of BPD. Fragile Narcissists are renowned for their drive and creativity.
taking children into care.
doesnt work on thise who can discern.and they dont like it when some one who recognises them.like a false christ who gets away with it by saying hes "ill"..
Confronting even in the most adult and kind manner is still unacceptable to them. I have not been able to find a way out of this marriage for years now anytime he even thinks I am getting organized to do anything he sabotages , destroys, hides, causes financial crisis to set everything off track, etc. I finally got into a mental health center and got some people who actually allowed me to be honest of my situation and find a way to come in with low fees I take out of my food money and they are not allowed to call the house or tell him I have counseling. It is my birthday today, I made a breakfast, dinner, with two adult children back home, and he is locked in his "own room" raging about nothing every few hours. .he will do this until my birthday is over. I have never had a card, or gift or a cake or anything on any holiday for as long as I can remember. He is a monster. I can not call him anything less, he is cold and cruel and the only emption he knows is rage and hate and punishing. The thing that scares me is being homeless, he has taken all of my inheritance, the money in my home, cars he will not even fix now and I have nothing to leave him. He even cancelled his life insurance. Where do you go at 63 years old ?