Narcissists feel shame when confronted with a failure, defeat, criticism, disagreement. Victims of a narcissist confuse this guilt with the narcissism ‘remorse’ for …
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Is a Narcissist Ever Remorseful?
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So narcissists are zombies?
I didn't realise this guy is a narcissist until an hour ago from another interview where he admits it, i think i would've learnt more from his videos if i had known that previously.
the codependent/co-narcissist partner tlptojects their own empathy on the narcissist because empaths can't brlueve that narcs really really Really REALLY exist.
both narc and co-narc believe the same lie: only the narc is important. Only the narc's needs deserve to be met. They're equally crazy. Eventually the co-narc develops narc tendencies and then heaven protect their poor children
this is the one I was looking for. Thank you for these.
Great video, thank you. I've only now began to realise what I was involved in. My ex fed off my low self esteem for 2 years. I knew something was off but couldn't put my finger on it, she never really "saw" me, luckily I got out before phase 3 but she still tried to triangulate me. When I went 'no contact' she claimed she had been raped and beaten by a new lover, Turned out it was all lies. She broke my heart, but I'm glad I'm out.
You really nailed it, Sam. This is one of your best videos.
Thank you for the post.
One additional comment, if I may. I'd like to know why, in the spirit of "birds of a feather flock together" narcissists whom we've already established as alien beings seem to have not only no problem hanging out together, but actually enjoy being with their fellow shells. What is the dynamic that keeps these people in their established, long-standing narcissistic circles? Surely one of these entities will need warmth, empathy and the capacity for concern at SOME point. Who is providing this or its facsimile, Sam?
Watching this amazing video helps me understand why my narcissistic brothers have always been so appallingly bad at ever offering me advice, solace, etc. and, in fact, become downright hostile when asked (or expected) to behave like normal human beings in this regard. There is no solace to get from a shell, and I suspect that the hostility comes from knowing they are psychologically incapable of providing anything close to warmth or comfort and THAT pisses them off.
Good video, but his statistics are way off. Only 1% has fully fledged, and 'a small % of those with some of the traits' ?
– I reckon the % of those displaying traits is huge, and the fully fledged, far greater than 1%. How the hell could you even do a successful survey anyway? :)
They just get better at pretending, to be able to get what they want, and abuse better. End of story.
One who believes they see an enemy, only ever sees an enemy.
A mature person would never be interested in having a relationship with a narcissist, and you didn't mention that narcissist's themselves are severely damaged individuals who have to behave in a certain way to maintain their sanity. The fear of loosing sanity is equal to the one of death since insanity is death of the mind. There are many neurotic people that don't realise they are narcissists, therefore it doesn't meen that you need to avoid them. They need as much help as those who ended up in close relationships with them. And yes….it is easy to talk about people with such issues as if you have a Phd in psychology, proffesionals who trully care for individuals with such severe and destractive backgrounds involve in therapy and try to help them instead of judging and making scientific statements that are detached from your personal opinion and feelings.
absolutely amazing video. omg so much truth.thank you sir
I think what you are saying is that people you don't connect with are being 'strategic' when they apologise and people you don't like are not, and are still explaining tedious 'normal' behaviour as OK and 'other' as being 'mentally disturbed.
ime anyone who says 'you are not like me so you are mentally disturbed' is already putting themselves in the wrong box
how could my student feel like a perfectionist
she got a grade of 35? not 100
didn't she have some sense?
how could narcissist perfectionist at all
don't they have eyes?
Had I known this earlier I could've saved myself a lot of grief. The more I clung to him the more he seemed to thrive on my dependace. he'd tell me how sorry he is and how much work he's willing to put into the relationship but his words were always vacuous, never felt and his eyes maintained this cold dead stare. "there is no one there" you're so right sir. I thank my therapist every day for pointing out your channel to me. you've helped me tremendously, even though it seems that the most painful thing is to open your eyes. Thank you ever so much
strange but true
ever so often I was dumbfounded by his recklessness, coldness & cruelty & looked at him for minutes on end.. but saw nothing but his evil smirk..now I know he was from another species..thank you Mr.Vaknin..wish had known this earlier
THX Mr.Vaknin..u r sooo accurate..wonderful work..
This is what I call the "pity play" that narcs do to gain supply
I had a supervisor that was a Narcissist, a Nurse and she was always telling me to do another nurse's work and I told her noooo. She then made it her mission to fire me by having me work on different areas of the Hospital that I was not familiar with. I thank you Sam Vaknin for showing me that she is and was Sick.
I don't know if i'm a narc but my empathy is close to zero on a scale. Do you have any suggestion on how to gain empathy?
if i had a dollar each time i confused shame with empathy….
This explains why women seem so concerned and caring. Men, confuse guilt with shame and project that the woman feels guilty when they actually just feel shame.
Is a Narcissist Ever Remorseful?: http://youtu.be/MLo1g8ECkRo
Well…Damn.