Thoughts on victims/survivors and healing Disrespectful, Rude, Judgemental, Cruel, Critical, Nasty, Mean, Insensitive Comments/ Behaviour is Abusive.
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Narcissism: Unhelpful Self-help Advice
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Wow, thank you. I have felt this for a long time. Healing takes time, and I often feel the hurry up and get over it is just as abusive. The narcissist in my life will abuse, then blame by saying it's because I'm not positive enough, happy enough, whatever enough. My healing is my healing, and I usually have to walk away in order to shine a light on who's behavior is actually causing a situation. Usually with enough space, I can tell it was not me, but the narcissist. I only wish they could see it too, but that never happens. So they will continue to abuse and then blame, shame their victim for their own actions.
Absolutely true. I would add that the 'down' periods of recovery are necessary, and actually very beneficial in the process of recovery. To acknowledge pain and suffering as part of the deepest periods of our existence, where we learn and feel the most and evolve as a human being. Healing is naturally a slow process, then over time the spaces between pain get longer, and we can learn to let the waves that come wash over us, instead of freezing us ….
I have a slightly different perspective on the whole "positivity thing". It's not so much because it's "hard" to stay positive. To me, the whole "think positive" thing is 100% disrespectful. It is in fact a form of gas-lighting because it denies the reality of the survivor's life. The whole "think positive" thing is continued abuse. I don't think the goal of those who are thumping the "think positive" bible at survivors is to help. It's more an aspect of human behavior to see injury as weakness and destroy the injured party because on a biological lizard-brain level, these "helpers" think the "injured" person is a threat to the safety of the group…you know, the whole "weakest link" mentality. This is also a reflection of the dark part of humanity that ENJOYS seeing someone else suffer. This isn't about being a good or bad person. It's about the insecurity that all people have around being the next target. It's why there's always a traffic jam when there is an accident pulled over on the side of the road. Everyone has to stop and look and judge and humiliate…because it makes a person feel good about themselves. "Thank goodness I'm not like that poor bastard." The issue for me is really about human dignity, and humans are usually the last ones to offer any. PTSD is not a mental illness. It is not "pre-existing". PTSD is a reasonable response to unreasonable situations. It is an injury caused by attack and abuse. So…I agree with your conclusion and applaud your bravery for speaking on this. I just came to the same conclusion: think positive "treatment" is counter-productive, from a different path of thought. Much Love to you and everyone who can relate to your words.
Spot on! Hugs ☺
People try and only focus on the positive, as to ignore the ''negaivity/pain/darkness' wth' in themselves.
Indeed, I heard once, that one of our purpose to being here is to heal.
amen
EXCELLENT VIDEO , I AGREE WITH ALL YOU SAY .. LOVE AND HUGS ALWAYS , KAT XXOO