Everything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse – click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html The only thing you can …
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Narcissist Father? Save Your Child
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what people dont get , which effects many areas is that mother cell and daughter cell are the effect of division of one. a child is a creation and bigoloical etension of the mother. birth is physical seperation, making a related new being who breathes air, and eats plants of earth same as she. narcistic mothers even lack this & see child as automatic propert lke a wrench. He gave part of himself to be imeshed in her. father has no reason at all." extension of personality best said an object to project on instead of an heir who hasEx. potentional skill to play an insturment and a moldable personality.
Yeeeeeah…. This is when "What dad says goes" changed into "Dad makes things up and punishes you for imaginary crimes" and nobody says or does anything to help it's too late. The codependant mother is too scared to stand up to the father. The father's elder "good narc" sons just join in the abuse and then the target sibling is left helpless under attack. Just like we like our victims. Clueless to the bigger story going on and therefore helpless in the face of the abuse. Scum. Just purest scum.
just keep thinking of them as 2 to 5 year old children. narcissists are emotionally equal with children. watch them sometime.
Yes there is something you can do!! keep your child or Children Away From Him/Her!! The Narcissist will sexually abuse them and they want him/her to be just like Them!! Narcissist have secret disgusting sexual desires and having sex with their very own Children is like having sex with themselves. They also have sex with their own siblings too since they have his DNA. What a sick MF! So protect your Children for dear LIFE. Narccissist are Pure EVIL!
My soon to be ex-husband is narcissist. After 25 years, 4 children, and 2 grandchildren we have identified what he is. Since struggling blindly through the phases of grief, we've all developed a stand your ground and attack mode. We deny his supply, and tell him why he's not going to get any. We know how to get him to back off and tell him what he's doing point blank! No more walking on egg shells and in confusion.
I've helped my children by telling and showing them what he is. Our motto is: What father would give his son a stone when the son asked for bread? OURS!
I hope you are right. Thanks
My father is a narcissist, i wish he was never around..
my father is a narcissist i found this at the age of 24 too late sadly, i lived all my life like this.
he destroyed me at psicological level and emotional.
My dads were both narcissists. And I ended up very codependent. It made my life very difficult and it wasn't till I was 25 and cam across YouTube videos that I've even learned what's wrong w me. I probably would have committed suicide eventually if I hadn't figured it out. So at least you even know the term narcissist. I'm trying to teach my codependent mother but I can tell it's falling on deaf ears for the most part. At least you can give your child info to search his own life issue, unlike my parents. That's positive right there.
I could not agree more. Spend all of your financial and emotional resources fighting with the Narc or provide your children with unconditional love and guidance. Tuff choice? As I see my children grow into young adults I have seen them figure it all out on their own. They are happy and they get to have a relationship with both of their parents. It's not perfect but who's lives are? Don't fight the never ending battle that leaves your children raising themselves and hating you both. Just love them and communicate with the narc as little as possible and don't get sucked into their traps.
In the heart of the abused….Their is a kindness like no other.
I was 13 when I said I can't bare to visit my nanc father anymore. I grew up just fine.
Having recently maintained no contact from my Narc step dad with the help of a police caution for harassment, I have kicked out my narc husband of 14yrs just 3 days ago, I am concerned for my boys mental health, I still feel so exhausted, although it's evident to me now that he will continue to use them for his amusement, as he continues to use me and urgently need to limit his contact with us all asap. Unfortunately my boys are now both showing signs of NPD where my oldest is disconnected with his emotions and has negative thoughts about himself and manipulation the other show signs of bullying. God I hope that now I have seen the light and getting the professional help needed, that I have the strength and time left to save them, by teaching them to respect themselves and others opinions and how to maintain their integrity and become self validating and not a codependent like I was. Thanks for teaching me that one mum!
as the daughter of a narcissistic father, we were were never interesting enough to our father because we didn't offer the extreme validation he needed, that could have only been done through strangers, who didn't actually know all sides of him. We were mostly not seen. i don't know if there is a name for that type of narcissism, we weren't as supply for him so we were not acknowledged much. now i have a boyfriend whose mom is an extreme malignant narcissist, recently she tried to make him break up with me- he felt obliged to show her he was honoring her wishes. i do not think he is ready to acknowledge that she is a very mentally stunted woman who looks to her adult children for supply. using gas-lighting, triangulation to get information from him about his relationship with me. it took me by surprise and it is too sick to want to be a part of.
+Sam Vaknin What if the parent, after not effectively pushing their authority over their child- they push, create arguments to which the child will need to explain and at the same time the parent stays silent and CALM, without explanation. I'm 31, and trying to deal with this junk.
Thank you for your insights and advice!
also key in: borderline personality disorder. helpful info. and don't blame yourself.
I think the title should be more gender-neutral. You have described many parents who are mothers, and it is the father that provides the love, exposure to the larger world, opportunity for independence and individuation. Males with NPD tend to be more visible than females because they are often in positions of power or leadership. Yet the female NPD is also prevalent, controlling her Narcissistic Supply with stealth, deception, exaggeration, emotional coercion. The N mother is as, if not more, dangerous due to her chameleon-like ability to appear to be the victim, and hide under the radar. The conversation should be about the N PARENT, not just the father.
I was unlucky enough to marry someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and after many years of emotional abuse and varying intensity of brief episodes of physical abuse, I decided to end the marriage. Here he is on a rant after finding out I could not afford to pay a $90.00 vet bill, after I had already given him my extra money. A week later, I moved out. This was a common, everyday occurrence, and I am happy to say I am on my path to healing and thankful that I found out the evil that is NPD and saved myself and my daughter. I would just like to say that I recognize the whiny nature of my voice. It is embarrassing to listen to how weak I had become. It is something I am working on and continue to work on. This was a very dark time in my life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAMkGDiqnsE
It's similar to the bullied/abused becoming the bully /abuser. Child of the narcassist will indeed pick up the traits of the narcassist parent. This is where I am thankful for my parents, my child and I live with them so Mariel not only has me for a role model but my parents as well. If she didn't have us she would most likely pick up her father's behavior. Makes me wonder though if a narcassist can be helped? I know change is up to the person, but if they don't see there's a problem then they are less likely to find help and less likely to change their behavior. Seems so complex.
Dr Vaknin, I have listened to many of your videos and read your book. Can you please comment on the relatively new term, "narcissistic victim syndrome"? Many authors focus on getting out of a relationship with a narcissist, but what if you grew up in a narcissistic home with a codependent spouse as the other parent? The children of such a family know no other way, yet have an enormously hard time breaking the cycle even after moving away. There is usually a continued entanglement the narcissist uses to keep a hold on his children – whether financial, emotional, etc. Having been the oldest child in such a household, having often received the sharpest criticism, critique, blame, etc, I often am still under their thumb and cannot make a clean break no matter how/what I try. Because we don't have a life before the narcissist, we don't know how or what to seek out. It is truly like being brought up in a cult, but how do you deprogram? So many people don't believe just how destructive a narcissist can be, so it is usually exceptionally difficult to find someone to help.
My father thought he was so entitled my sister and I were not even allowed to make noise most of the time, including Christmas day and cross-country moves.
im confused i think my son is very narcissistic, yet i don't think im a narcissist, and his non custodial dad even though he showed a lot of disrespect toward me doesn't fit the description of narcissistic. any clues as to where to look to find out what i did that was so wrong? can a mom who has trouble regulating strong emotions be a monster?