Since a narcissist has created the illusion within their perception that they are more important that anyone else, and only their thoughts, feelings, wants and …
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Narcissist Red Flag: They’re Always Right, Everyone Else Is Always Wrong
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Your words so healing, one couldn't possibly win against them, facts and truth simply can't be win. I have enough courtesy to loose an argument if my facts seem inconsistent but these narcs would always present themselves as right. What's sad is if one loves them, it hurts pretty bad.
Vehemently is the word you meant to use.
OMG…you just described how my ex flipped and flopped on me. I use to tell him that I couldn't agree with him and I couldn't disagree with him because he would flip it around to "see if from the other perspective". Even If I agreed with his perspective. It made me crazy. Once I accused him of being a know it all and he flat out told me that he did know more than I did and even his teachers in high school were intimidated by his smartness. I finally came to the conclusion that he just me wanted me to be to be a bobbing head for him to bitch and complain to about all his co-workers who he thought was incompetent and slackers as he would call them. I could not watch the news or any tv in his presence because he would berate the news anchors and reporters especially if they were women. In fact any famous celebrity, wealthy or powerful woman would cause him to go off on a tangent. If I retreated to another room to watch tv he would come in a berate what I was watching by saying "he couldn't believe I could be entertained by such nonsense. It was a ten year marriage and I've been out for five years now and NC for a year. I still find myself having to come to videos like this to reaffirm myself he was narcissistic, a Jekel and Hyde, wolf in sheep's clothing. He was already baiting and hooking someone else before we divorced six months while I was reeling from how I been sucked down the sewer for so long and yet bewildered how he went from Prince Charming and Mr. Wonderful to such a figment of my imagination. His porn finally led to no intimacy between us and yet he said it was because I didn't want long and drawn out love making and he did plus I had gained ten pounds and it was a turnoff to him. I had moved across country and had no one but him so I guess he thought I was in his trap. I rocked his world one day after ten miserable years of being cared for less than his dog, when he came home from work he found his computer on the kitchen counter with the hard drive taken out. I told him I was done, wanted out, get me home and maybe I wont check the hard drive for child porn. He went white as a ghost and was visibly shaking but he met me with all I was asking for and got me back across country. Like I said its been five years and I still feel the effects of his Narc. behavior. I began educating myself on narcissism before I left and have continued to do so since especially since I began to have doubts and questioning of if I made the right choice. I did……I did…..
The "Punch In The Face" analogy is spot on. Dealing with N's is one big Catch-22. Because if you don't take any issue with "getting punched in the face", then they'll just see that as a green light to keep "punching you in the face".
wow, exactly if i could take his crap and not get upset the relationship would have gone swimming ly. he even tryed to say that the relationship was improving, it was getting worse i wasn't reacting as badly. if someone uses a photo with an altered date, of course im gonna argue that "fact" though. yet i could not prove my innocence.
At the next gathering of friends then try to pull of the subject of smart phones and the wireless society – then you will probably hear so many things which are not logical at all, since it is a sensitive subject concerning people's toys.
Thank you for this clear-cut message, since it truly describes it very well, and how absurd these narcisist entities truly are. Even when caught with the trousers down they will still ignore/deny that something is wrong. The most amazing thing is, how they can manipulate and persuade others about someone being projected as the scape-goat, and that most people believe it without ever questioning the slightest thing. It's actually scary, since it shows, how little discernment is in many people.
A total know-all!!! Used to drive me crazy. Right from day one I noticed it. It still makes my blood boil when I find myself thinking of him. Great vids Autumn. Thank you. :)
One of the best tests for a Cluster B person is to find something you can say "No" to. It is like a garlic necklace to a vampire. The response is disproportionate. A health person can be disappointed, they get over it. A Narc will see it like red cloth to a bull, or for a covert the words "FINE", men know what I mean. We instinctively know the tone that says the gates of hell have just opened.
All I can say is (Always be recording) and stand your ground.
MOVING FORWARD!!! WE ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT? CRAZY MOMENT? WOW!!!
My father in a nutshell. :-(
Even if narcissists are correct about an issue or a particular fact they are still not polite or respectful about the interaction. They gloat, harass, nag, lecture, and manufacture a crisis.
I like the examples of malignant narcissism that you described. I've experienced that for many years with colleagues, bosses, and relatives. They revel in going against us and opposing everything that we stand for. I'm a very diligent and serious worker and most of my bosses and trainers have tried to make me wrong about everything that I do including the easiest of tasks: filing papers, making copies, sending emails, answering phones, etc. Slander is so natural for them to do. Another crisis is when a bully relative harassed and falsely accused me about not washing my dishes correctly, not understanding the washing machine procedure, not knowing how to apply for jobs, and not getting registration stickers for the car.
If you happen to honestly be mistaken, confused, or wrong about a small issue the narcissist (or group of narcissists) comes down on you like a ton of bricks. They will treat you as if you've committed an atrocious sin.
my ex-narc/sociopath was a know it all…but he would accuse others of being know it all's…you could not tell him anything…even when he was dead wrong he was right…he had a lot of mis-information but swear it was true and right on, because someone told him this and he knew it was right…he would say that apple's are a stool hardener and I told him apples are pure fiber they keep things moving…no I was wrong and he was right…I did not know what I was talking about…he was right…whatever he was a dumbass…
True but listening to this just makes me so angry. I wish there was a machine that would just zap all adult manipulative evil narcissists into oblivion. You just press a red button and they all vanish from the earth instantly! Heaven.
It made me think. My ex whom I consider to be a covert narc, used to always say that I am always to say anything as long as it was against his opinion. Obviously, our relashionship wasn't very great but I used to be still very surprised why he saw it this way. Because there were times when I found him right and I would even exagerate his achievements. As a typical coda trying to please haha. Now I think I know. He might have been this way himself and projecting his unacceptable traits on me. Thanks for helping to drag another small part of my story to the light.
How about the… you ''argue'' with them… they see/sense their stance is untenable… then, they switch to mirroring… Lo! And Behold! … What they meant is what you were saying all along….
Oh dear lord these people are everywhere!! Excellent examples. Thank you.