The narcissist did not stop loving you. They did not love you in the first place. They idealized you in the idealization phase of your “relationship” and then they …
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Narcissist – Why Did They Stop Loving You
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He told me about his former partners and how all of them were B…..to him (all lies) but I know it was the other way around. The "relationship" I had with him was so horrible that I left him for my peace of mind and well being.
It's true the X never loved me, he smooth talked me into a relationship with him because he was lonely and no other woman desired him, took me a while till I figured this out on my own.
MY ex GF has Bipolar and i believe she also was narcissist. I mean, she just dumped me, and 24h later, when i don't contact her, she asks me "how are you doing?" and tells about her daily stuff. I don't CARE. I was the perfect BF in the beginning…then little by little things when AWFUL. She cheated and everything. It was a nightmare.
I'm writing a book about my relationship with my narcissist in the midst of recovering.
would you please call me.
Andrew, 347-898-3739
So true. Very well explained.
My covert narcissist lover used to say to me "you are the best thing that happened to me in a long time" and of course "I was only ever able to open up to two people in my life – you are one of them." (notice the triangulation here). And of course, "I trust you" it's so easy and peaceful when we are together (which is a subtle way of slagging his former girl-friend off). Covert narcissists are really stealthily covert.
Oh yes, mirroring outrageously. And then drawing attention to the fact that we are so alike. I actually felt quite uncomfortable with the "having to be alike" thing and asked him if it was okay with him, if we weren't that alike.
I think the worst lie was, when he pretended to be a feminist and there was another guy who was quite supportive of women's issues who said to me in his presence that some guys just claim that to get laid, basically, and I just couldn't imagine it. My bad! :-b
So, you might think the other guy lied as well about being supportive, but I saw some stuff he published. So, he's genuine.
Needless, to say ALL nacissists are mysoginist. Says Sam Vaknin. And I read posts by other narcissists, who confirm that.
P.S. Your videos always sound a bit as if you've got a purring cat sitting on your lap! :-D
You made an amazing video!!!
they never did love you. they only love tear evil selves
Absolutely true on all accounts. The "realization of being played". That must be what sticks with us long after no contact. Never before in my life have I ever had the feeling of being maliciously covertly used like this. What kind of human does this to another strictly for their own amusement ? Their not stupid. They know exactly what their doing. Do not forgive them. Pathetic parasites. I was in mourning & hoping to bond with someone new. If a narc can do this to someone who just lost their spouse they are capable of anything. Dangerously disordered. I must have been a ripe for picking target. Easy prey. Mind f**ked into cognitive dissonance. With the clarity of no contact, also comes anger. At myself more than her. Where the hell was my self esteem. Along with a focus on healing self comes the resolve to fight these terrorist. This is as far as they can push the boundaries of their terror and still stay legal. I'm sure mine would have killed all the weak minded empaths if it wasn't illegal. When she told me that everyone knows she believes in genetic engineering. I should have bailed then. But Im starting to think she was right. Find out what strain of DNA causes this malady of Narcissism and remove it from the human species. Wen they tell you their just an "A TYPE" person, just say yes. "A" for asshole.
SO TRUE!!!!
Thanks, help a lot.
Wow good stuff. The brain is amazing and very delicate. It's true this cluster B personality type is incapable of love and empathy but not all hope is lost. If a person is willing to accept their past and resolve impeding issues true healing can take place. it's entirely up to that individual to discontinue utilizing defense mechanisms that hinder and destroy all meaningful relationships.
is is expecting too much for him to do yard and garbage, he has never touched a cloth in thirty years and till i got too ill e never touched garbage or mower either wow serious did it all
Hi Annie.
Ive been reading Pete Walkers book "CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving"…..I strongly recommend it. It outlines the tendencies
To JayJay RE: They are just children. Yes you are absolutely correct. In fact a very young one. This is why we become co-dependent. We are caring for a very young child. Unfortunately we were played by an emotionally immature adult. This is one of the reasons it is so difficult to let go – it is as though you are losing your child. The chemical bond between two adults (spouses) and the chemical bond between a parent and a child is the same chemical bond.
they never liked you in the first place.my neighbour was like this ..she is an evil witch.
wow this is deep! I knew this person I was involved with had deep emotional problems when I met them, but they stalked me and seduced me into their web of lies corruption. even after that they pursued me because of my kind heart and emotional behavior im assuming, but in the back of my head I knew they couldn't love me because u must love yourself befor u can love others, however by then he had me hooked until they were incarcerated behind abusing their other supplies of resource. I felt for them as he never laid a hand on me, but I guess my big ego felt they loved me because of the sexual connection we had, they sought me out the minute they were released for sex and they tried giving it to me with abundance but I had a life and they never could reason with that constantly harassing me so It scared me because I didn't want this socialpath to love me, and once I laid down the ground rules of hookin up once a week they wasn't having that so I suggested the go to bible study to rid themselves of sexual thoughts day in and day out! then weeks later they wanted to move in and I said no and that's when the devaluation started and then we had one last nite and they disappeared and got married to another gullable victim, now after watching this vid I understand they never loved me in the first place. they have done the disappearing act before but if they try to recycle me in future this will help me to stay no contact, when actually they were the one contacting me profusely! I figured they were a pympho but actually it was their trump card to control me. I thank god I didn't allow them to move in because of his violent tendacies because either he would be dead or I would be. I learned years ago to avoid folks who provoke me but he just kept coming back like a bad penny. now its over in his mind and mine.
It IS A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE, mine left me (though I encouraged it). IT HURTS SO MUCH :(
thanks so much for posting
Omg my ex did that too! I would suggest things for him, then when later he would come home and say "Omg I had the BEST converse with so-and-so! They told me to do [whatever I had told him]". He did it over and over and at first I just thought oh he just wasn't listening to me. Then I realized he was doing that on purpose to make me upset. And it worked.
Yes …
you are so right, my BPD histrionic followed the very same game plan …until the devaluation and final discard…
Althoe she did give many indications before I married her, unfortunaly I was hooked by then.
Oh well it sure was great when she was on her game .
I must have been doing something right she lasted 10 years before blowing up…. she sure was pretty…
Annie, thanks,am pretty new to this.Sadly knew my ex of 22 years never loved me, yet kept trying to be the good wife, till finally realized it was going nowhere.Only now tenyears later do i see he was a narc and never loved me!
Is a narcissist even able to love at all? I figured my ex was all an act, she didn't have a personality; her life was nothing but an act. So why did she get rid of me? She could no longer control me. I figured out she was nothing but an empty void. She could no longer could use guilt to control me because I no longer cared. If Jesus came home from work and told his narc that he fed 5000 people, she would call him stupid because he didn't give them cake and ice cream too. When I walked away from her, I felt the greatest peace I ever experienced. It was wonderful. But it did take a few years to overcome the intense hatred I held towards her. No contact for 4 years!
This 100% like the woman I dated for 4 hellish months. Just spot on.
thanks for this,