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28 thoughts on “Red Flag of a Narcissist #13: Behavior that Never Changes

  1. Dana, I'm writing a long time after you posted this. In fact, I think this is the 3rd time I have listened. "Dosing" really hit me this time. "The bare minimum" to keep you quiet, really, while they go do what they really want to do. Thanks for being a constant source of information and relief, validation, and comfort.

  2. Thanks for making these great videos. The behavior/flags you're describing are common in all cluster B personalities. Thanks again!

  3. Is it me….or does anyone feel one time outside a marriage/relationship especially..and needing an AIDS test….along with numerous others to protect yourself? This is serious shit these days and unless one has given permission to sleep around ……… I would feel pretty DIRTY…… giving my permission (to a husband or wife)(boyfriend ..girlfriend) and NOT KNOWING the other was having unprotected sex with …….?????????????? you name it! It's not only the emotional factor…trust etc., it's like giving your permission to be raped by an unknown person! I would NEVER give my permission to have sex with an unknown. That is what gives cheating for me personally , a boundary breech beyond comprehension in this day and age. Yes. I would ask for an Aids test amongst others in this day and age of dating. I would also produce one, myself. Trust …. once and done. Then head to the doctor for a battery of tests. yuck. Guess my standards are pretty high. Trust is a building block of any relationship. Add to that, exclusive partnership, and ..well…….  Thank you for your input, N Support.  So many red flags. A great service to the younger/many people to know what a healthy relationship does not look like.  Let them go somewhere else and 'change'  …..

  4. Hi, my fiancé introduced your videos to me and thought you were good. I have had a couple of experiences being in relationships with maybe narcissists and would like to share the stories with you but not at this time but maybe soon … thanks

  5. i yelland have a fit like a little kid when i feel rejected. once i start i keep going and list every wrong done by the person im emotionally barfing on. i keep telling my self not to do this, yet some how the storm goes off in my head and out my mouth. no matter what i do it never seems to change its feels like trying to out run and stop a bus by holding it back by the bumper but getting run over instead. i have tried holding it all in when i get hurt, i tried snapping bands on my rist, and putting my head under cold water-which only works temporary. when it starts im like a runaway bus. the trigger is when i feel im getting a silent treatment. its a behavior that never changes, but yet i don't have the other symptoms of a narc. any suggestions?

  6. since they were two year olds

  7. who would vote down this?
    she is telling the truth.

  8. so you don't believe in the sentence:
    love is inspite of, not because of.

  9. Yes, they never take accountability. They get up in a dander about EVER having to ask permission for anything,,large or small. The thought of asking permission tends to freak them out I think because they they believe they are "Above" that. They are just entitled. Entitled people don't or shouldn't have to ask for permission. Ever right? Can you please do more videos on the aging narcissist traits and especially the traits of a Narcissist that has been in a long term marriage?

  10. My god she is beautiful.

  11. So if narcissists behavior never changes, what is the solution? It seems like there is no solution…. the world just has to live with narcissists in our midst. Education then is a solution, so non narcissists can protect ourselves from these people.

  12. is it common to be dating one and throughout the relationship there are multiple break ups and always getting pulled back in?

  13. actions spek louder than words. if i could simply have looked at what my Narc was doing vs what she was saying, that disconnect was so defined that it would have been obvious that it was all a con.

  14. Thank you! yes that is definitely a warning sign. I think this helps to see through most but the narcissist I dealt with was very cunning and devious so be aware of this ulteration if you are dealing with a very devious covert narcissist, and don't be confused by it. They will often blame themselves when telling the story adding a small fault on their part but then being very critical of themselves on this particular point so the audience feels the need to protect them from being so hard on themselves. They also throw the ex figuratively speaking under the bus making up what an awful evil person they are and then at the end of the conversation they will make out how sorry they feel for the ex and that others mustn't be hard on her. While occasionally shedding a crocodile tear.

  15. If you say "only three times" in the context of cheating, no matter the time span of your relationship, you are abused and mind-controlled.

  16. I believe that from now going through plenty of trails in my own behavior since I met this woman I have a child by. I've been abused and degraded by her hidden life. An online associate help me point this out even though I was in denial. Now watching your channel I know now that she's a possible narc. Especially the love bombing and mirroring stages. Just found out she's married and may have a hidden mate that's using me to have their children. This child might not be mines. So I will be signing up on your website because I'm still going through a trail with her. I also believe that she has turned me into a person like her. I also feel that it's a team of people helping her as well like I've been targeted to fail in life. Plus like she's trying to make me a certain guy she loved that passed away if that story is even true. Thank you for these vids as well!

  17. You mentioned pornography.  Could you expound on the pornoagraphy thing? Thanks.

  18. I appreciate your response. I think that because I am just starting to figure out what has been happening for 10 years that my mind is in a whirlwind of shock. Its almost like, My God how did I miss this!!! I feel stronger everyday! Thanks for your videos.

  19. I need to ask… I left my husband in 2013 after 8 yrs of what I thought was emotionally abuse. Cussing me out, calling me names, bashing my family, being mean about my weight. I took him back and for 2 years he has not done these things to me since I came back. He doesnt talk to me ugly anymore. However, he still wont help me pay bills even though he makes $1400 more than me a month, hes always right, never home despite my requests, buys things for himself but I am to be ok with the minimium, when i try to have deep conversation he shuts down, no empathy, pessimistic view of life, trusts no one not even me. How is it that he stopped talking down to me?

  20. My narci is addicted to alcohol, coke, prostitutes, gambling and hoarding anything.

  21. So Spot On!! Yes, Dana, I told my best friend the same thing that the relationship withy my Narc was either very good, or very bad, and as if you could read my(our) mind(s), I let him back in just because some of those very sweet memories, I never looked at why I continuously let him back into my life after many many terrible memories, but you just tapped on my hidden door, that I didn't realize it was how he worked his way back to me. Wowww, thanks, now gotta learn to close that door, and remind myself that it is not worth at all!!

  22. I know 2 narcs, no true love towards the pets. No cuddles, no sweettalking the animal. No vet. My cat was napped and used as luer. I had to had the plolice. These was a story of hoe the cat was saved. The majority of bi polar does not take the medicine. Take info account the co morbid bi polar + narcissist.

  23. Managing down of expectations, I really like the insight in this term. I wonder how my narc father's dating interests could tolerate him. He put down everyone in his life, even our deceased mother and did this in front of one of my friends. My sister always defended him and blamed his drinking. My dads behavior did not necessarily get worse with age, he was nicer to his children because no one else was there for him like we were. I have watched many of your videos twice! So informative.

  24. Very important in these type of relationships is that one also stays (long) in the relationship, is because it has addictive patterns. NPD gives a lot of pos. attention or no attention at all: intermittent reinforcement or attract-repel pattern, this also common in relationships with someone w/ a borderline personality.

  25. Honestly, every single video clip so far has helped me, on so many levels its like your telling my story, Thank you so much for sharing.

  26. Your right about his, their behavior never ever changes.  I would talk to my narc about the same behavior problems  over and over hoping something would change.  He told me I was a drama queen and couldn't let things go and that all I did was complain.  He never understood that if he stopped the continued behavior I would not have to complain about it or bring it up.  He never addressed the issues with me but berated me each time and blamed me for his behavior.  He started to threaten abandonment each time I would bring things up, I learned to walk on eggshells and keep quite, I became very complaisant due to fear of him leaving.  Now I wonder how I could have been so stupid. I convinced him to go to marriage counseling and that only made things worse. After each session he would verbally attack me in the parking lot, telling me that the therapist could see how crazy I was for harping on things, and he didn't appreciate me bringing up problems in our marriage because it made him look like a fool.

  27. heck my narc only lasted a few days. just a lot of blowing stuff out his ass.

  28. Have you heard of the "sweet/mean cycle?"  Sounds like dosing in a way, they give you a dose of good, but then mean…and over time the sweet cycle becomes less and less..Begood4000 made a video about this.

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