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Red Flag of a Narcissist #30: His Views on Women
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HIS views on women… What about HER views on women? Women mistreat and torture other women naturally, so much so that women's abuse of other women can't be considered a disorder – it's actually the 'order'.
So leave HIM alone, sweetheart, and focus on the real threat to women… other women.
"How do you know that a narcissist is lying? "
"Their mouth is moving."
Excellent! Honestly: after seeing the red flags is such a funny thing to onserve, really!
Maybe, I'm bad saying it or staying there to watch it, but 'man':
That's such a fun!
An ex-friend is a narc. Trying to figure out what his behavior was, led me to studying NPD and these other personality disorders. Eye-opening!!.. [sheds a huge light on my own behavior too}……That said; This narc's sexual demands of women, was anal or oral sex only. He told them he could only get it up if they were doing one of those two things. Sick. Power-hungry. "Only on her knees".
HA..I outted my husband on FB even telling his whereabout s with his mistress and and falsified self..well his uses the title Bishop which he definitely is not in character and according to his 2ns wife out of 9 he isn't truthfully… and he wanted me to do the EXACT same thing like your grandfather..well.. ..before he discarded me for a second time right before Mothers Day…i was silly enough to finally delete the post on FB that had been up from December…Hate I did it
A flat tire on the highway was an excuse I got for his being many hours late… he didn't even bother to hide the tire receipt, which clearly showed the previous day's date on it; the receipt was just laying there between the driver/passenger seats. By then, I knew better then to confront him on his lies.
Mine took some of his monkeys out to dinner, telling me he'd bring me home a TBone as my reward for being a good little slave and cleaning up their earlier mess. He brought me the TBone, minus the steak. Oh the stories I could tell!
Misogyny is so common it's hard to know if it's a red flag of any given personality disorder.
I am so glad you mentioned it that they hide things and enjoy it. That is what happened in our family. We thought we lose our mind but we suspected him more and more, but could never really catch him. It was so bizarre. And the whole trust issue you are right on. They lie about the weirdest things break trust and then blame it all on your that you have trust issue and you have a problem and they are just a victim. Thank you!
I do think they're different with men.
he also made me quit my job
it is true. he wanted me to literally FORGET my exes and the would reference everyday to what he knew about my past and get mad if I remembered. so I learned to act like I didn't know what he was talking about or he would hit me and torture me.he made me say I was a virgin and that I never found any guys attractive. He said he wouldn't marry me unless we did anal. I had to look away from the tv screen if there were shirtless guys.he wanted me to dress conservatively.he wanted me to clean while he played video games.he told his family i was a virgin and that i had no exes or guy friends ever in my past.he wouldn't let me drive while he was in the car.he would want to discipline me.
Hey Dana! I didn't read all the posts so I hope I'm not being redundant. I think women who are narcissists don't like women either. In my FOO, the boys were always celebrated and the Golden Children. I guess it comes down to the self-loathing of the narcissist.
My boyfriend and I have been together since October 2013. I was 14, he was 16. (Now I am 17 he's 18) we are only a year apart and about 5 months apart. I've had boyfriends in the past but he's never been with anyone he's been single his entire life. He also had social anxiety.. it wasn't until we did it for the first time our first time, that he started being controlling. Later on he started getting better at controlling me. I allowed it, and later on I believed it was okay to do so, so when I were to do it back, he'd go do what he wanted anyway. at the time I believed well if hes gonna do this to me he shouldnt do anything either.
But then I learned that If he loves me, then he wouldn't leave me so I stopped what he was doing to me and was scared to even go outside and talk to my guy friends (there are no girls my age in my neighborhood). So no matter what my mom said about if he loves me he wouldnt leave me, I was still scared to do what I always have done my entire life (be on social media, go hang with friends, and go to concerts with my mom) But later 2014 he stopped controlling me, I then started lashing out. on him and my family. It's like his control got me so overwhelmed I didn't know what to do with myself. When he stopped, I got even more scared is why I started acting out with my attitude he then told his parents and blamed everything on me, even to his buddies. Now I am looked at wrongly by them..We are still together and we've calmed down a lot…but now he's talking bullcrap about my mom to his mother. And now I am seeing signs of him being a bit of a narcissist.. he also gets mad when I spend all my money thats from christmas (even tho I get him presents vice versa) I am even scared to spend my own money… And yes I am on social security and have been diagnosed with Aspergers since I was very young..And I have anxiety. He doesn't believe I have anxiety, he wants me off all my medicine including Social Security…and then tells me he doesnt want me to sign the lease if we move in together someday…
My experiences with a sociopath and narcissist they BOTH seem to have issues with women. Use of b****, wh**, sl***, etc. And the smiles I've seen when they hurt you? Sinister at best. And both had issues with their mothers? Creepy! Thanks for your videos, Dana.
I love your videos.. I'm coming to terms with the realisation my last partner may be a covert narcissist — almost textbook it seems.. It's all just becoming so clear, and I'm feeling stronger after every video, but now I'm just feeling totally angered by the fact someone played me so well. I'm not a silly person, I can generally spot a manipulative person a mile away, yet I let this man work me into this lie and elaborate charade and cut me off for totally petty reasons. He then tried to keep me there as a friend and tried to lead me on by still telling me he loved me, I ended up changing jobs (we worked together) and blocking him on all social media. That "off feeling" still lingers though, even months on, and I'm still not ready to date anyone else, I feel like he's ruined dating for me. I wish I knew all of this knowledge at the time it was all happening! I bet I'm not alone here when I say I wish I never let him see he upset me. We live and learn 🙂 Thank you so much for your videos. I really appreciate it.
Thank you. These videos have helped educate me and have helped me to understand the psychology of the narcissist.
I have listen to your premise, and you are a really nice looking woman, but I think you should have done this maybe in a animation of some sort. Where it wouldn't seem so offensive to men, at all! I support the feminist movement as a Black male, I want to see women prosper and create new avenues instead of the old crux of this country. Grassroot of sorts, but some young male stud is listening to this and connecting a pretty face with how to approach a pretty woman and feel as if he has to relegate himself. That's why I said maybe you should have done this in animation of a unisex creature of some sort. I will subscribe, but I will not always agree, thanks!
I believe there is something that you are leaving out, whether they (your view of narcissist) are proactive in their dealing with people. I will always post this because your argument is ambiguous, that people that do not try hard enough or consistently fail where others succeed will pull the "narcis" card. What about the ALPHA MALE, and his need to repel others by aggressively pushing people away. People that I know that you are explaining are called winners. Hec, I tend to get envious. My view is this you fit the label as a card puller because you are a female in a dominated white male enclave of winners. Honestly, I have hangups and that makes it hard to keep a relationship so I can imagine….My self-esteem would be crushed if I were a male around you or a son (no disrespect). You stated the numbers and many females do not fly under the radar, because many concentrate on why they aren't winning in a white male dominated atmosphere. I am Black and I was told that I was jealous when it came to White people winning, but when women have a problem with males we are: elitist, anti-feminist, narcissist, psychopaths, etc. Can you place some empirical studies out and begin to mention studies (names), not another subjective view. This seems like a unpragmatic way to deal with being ostracized by society. I respect that you are trying to identify a word for a "male" that cannot be pegged as a psychopath. Shouldn't women vent better. I am quite sure you resent something that I have said. Really, I mean no harm but I am tired of women slandering men.
Hey I am going through this but I am broke and I don't have a place to stay , I don't know wat to do . Can you suggested someone who has no income or home thank u I can't believe I am not crazy after watching two videos of urs
Verbal . Allow their friends to talk verbally , sexually abusive to you and not protect you. The friendship is more important than, the personal relationship. His friend was able to say sexual things to his daughters as well.
My ex narc settles down with strippers it's so wierd lol. Everything that he said he hated while with me.
And also you only get to know what they want to tell you – how much of it they want you to know – they aren't going to tell you everything – they wont say
'oh i said something awful to my wife and that's why she kicked me out of the house…'-
that defiantly would mean there is more to the story – that and saying shes bipolar or a crazy ass woman.
The reason I'm saying this was because i had a friend emphasis on the word had and she told me the once…
' you only know what i want to tell you.'
I replied because it was in a text and said that was sad because if you close off from the rest of the world no one knows you – the real you, and you are alone.
Sorry, but its true – if you only tell people what they want to hear or what you want them to know, you risk loosing yourself, like you will never be able to connect with anyone ever – because to do that you have to drop your guard and narcissists don't do that – they want you to see what they want you to see, and for you to believe them. They put on a act for as long as they can and move on to the next girl or bloke because believe it or not we all need contact – the human body is wired for it, it needs affection and love and so narcs are settling for what they can have in the form of another person, plus its boosts their pride and enforces their ego –
you say narcs will never be alone, i disagree, i think there is a deep dark hole in them and they are alone….
And it scares them, which is what they are afraid of, so they need to fill it. They need you or the next person to think of them as cool and Mr Wonderful, because that is how they are getting their needs met.
And, for example if you have an argument with someone and things get heated and you tell me what they said and you tell me what you said, even if you insulted them back – that would be a honest and true picture painted.
Narcissists tell you half the tale and leave out some pretty big gaps. therefore you will never know the full extent and will admit to the bare minimum they are caught with or they will do a mind number on you
"No i did not say that, perhaps you took that to mean something else. I told you…."
"I did that last weekend – you've got that confused with something else."
"You must have thought…"
"I know how you feel."
They bank on you being confused and erm erm erm…
the more they wrap you around their little finger they know they have you – you've gotta know your own mind – they do not know the thoughts and feelings you have or how you think and feel – they might start projecting their own thoughts onto you but you know yourself – even if you don't know this person that they have changed into before you – you know your own mind. I encourage anyone to go though things mentally sensibly practically and you will realise how they make you feel in their presence and someone who loves you – who really loves you – would never want to hurt you and would never do anything you felt uncomfortable with….
And if you find someone an adult who you trust they can help you
trust me it helps because its one thing when your mom or sister are saying it, but sometimes an aunt or relative of the family can help put things into perspective – they can do it in a more reserved calm way, it helped for me and when i was saying things like;
"he said he loved another woman," and "he'd go out with a co-worker in my store if she said yes," and "he put his hand over my mouth when i started to get upset."
and they could speak to me in a way that neither my mom or my dad couldn't and i think people will open up sometimes when they are ready or when they feel there is no pressure.
I heard that a lot of Narcissists adore women. I'm Borderline(which is close to Narcissism) and I adore women, I think they caring, charming and empathetic. Btw, I love your videos.
love your work
The guy I'm seeing right now is what some people in bdsm call a "Switch". I'm like that too and we bonded over that. I'm really unsure if he's a narcissist or not but after seeing some of these videos and also having a father that was sexually abusive.. I'm leaning towards that he May be a narcissist? I don't want to unfairly type him as that though and then be wrong. So frustrating.
Hi Dana¡ I am not very good, writing in english I am Mexican, but it has been very usefull for me the information that you bring in your videos, I wanted to ask you some questions in private but I will do it from here maybe somo one else has past for what I've been thru, I had just had a break up with a covert narcissist, thath relation last for about 2 years, I have tree kids for my last marriage and I had been carrying things quite fine with them economically and as a family, but when this guy came in to my life it was just what I toght I needed, he was every charming thing that you've described in your videos, but someting else was happening they where really strange things goin on. I trust my kids, they are 18,, 20 and 10 they are very honest with me, and my narcissist was just so lair, that i didn't notice it, things like some day there was salt in the soya milk, or in the sugar, when he got mad for someting, I really dont remember why, he cut the internet wire, and hide de place of the cut so we spent a lot of time trying to guess what halppened, in other day he also was mad and I tink it was him but he made look like my yungest son split water in to my computer, and I lost all my information, he stole money form muy purse little by little so i thought, my oldest son did it, he also stole more money than that, but I just was going crazy thinking my kids did thise things, and it was a hard time because I was also thinking they couldt be doing it, my intuition tells me that they weren´t laying about those things, but it was all so confusing, Have you heard something like that some time. Now that he is out of our lives (almost, i think that he is trying to Hoover me again) none of this things strange things are happening, Did you heard these some other time? I was so confused¡ do you think this was in two says, traing to make me feel that I couldt trust my kids, and he was so supportive to me, and that he also wanted to punish me or try to make me feel crazy, they were so strange things, that I was embarrased even to ask him for them.