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29 thoughts on “The Biggest Red Flag of the Narcissist & Psychopath

  1. well i feel jipped, i didn't get the love bomb. i got the im kicked out and need help. the closest i got to love bomb is being told the period that embarrasses me is natural and shouldn't be ashamed, and that he is not grossed out by the actions of the human body. later he would shame me about all body functions

  2. Thank you for another incisive video.

  3. Thank you so much for your answer. I guess my question is; how do I learn to give myself what he gave? obviously not the false sense of security but real security that comes from myself? He was the monster and the saviour at the same time and now I don't have him anymore and those moments when the storm is temporarily over and he reaches out a hand to show me :he forgives me AGAIN"-that's what I lived for. Now I have to find a way to comfort myself and stop associating him with love and safety. I don't know if my question is unclear still?

  4. Hi. Can I ask my question here or should I email or something? I left my N a while ago and went no contact. What he does instead is contact my family and friends,my therapist and even authorities to make me look bad. He even contacted my kids father to give him "information" about me and saying he shouldn't let me see my kids cuz I'm so sick. I live at a woman's shelter right now and have no idea how to build my life back. Sadly I left my aparment to move in with him (cuz he was on my case about it non stop) so when I walked away I didn't have my own place anymore. Sadly I've lost all my friends due to this whole thing. I don't know how to fix everything and on top of this; the pain over missing him. it's like a chemical withdrawal…

  5. Slowing things down is so true, these toxic people want to seal the deal so quickly. Couple of other things I watch out for, reciprocity, do they reciprocate. And saying the word "No", usually to something small / not important and see if the response is disproportional. A healthy person may b upset or disappointed, they get over this as they will respect your personal boundaries. The others will not take it the same way.

    Great video, so true.

  6. Bravo! What an excellent observation. Love your description. #Shared

  7. married for over 20 years. Divorced now over ten, only recently figured this out! During arriage it was hard to spot cause it's also hard to accept the person who you are supposedly the closest to in the world is in effect not the least bit interested in you. it was very painful to have to break it up and it has been no picnic since

  8. "Resist the urge to see what you want to see". This is brilliant. I remember a friend warning me and my retort was, "I'm wearing the love goggles, you're not." I knew I was walking into dangerous territory but I didn't want to see it, clinging to the good and minimizing the bad. No one could have stopped me. Now that I've lived the abuse, I hope I can remember next time what is at stake when you turn a blind eye to the warning signs or try to force someone's image to fit your ideal.

  9. Thanks for your support! I am just thankful that I know some of the warning signs now. And, not all seemingly good people are even remotely good. Evil people suck.

  10. Seems to me to come back to fostering healthy boundaries. The boundary creates the space to process whether a situation is naturally good or manipulative. It also prevents us from 'attaching' to a need to be validated or invalidated by anyone. Took me years to get that. Cheers.

  11. Love this video … My narcissistic antisocial soon to be ex-husband did exactly that…. He would insist on my calling him "baby +his name" all the time, even when I answered his phone call… He always wanted to hear how great and wonderful he was for little things he did around the house… Praising him was very important… He also referred to himself as a "baby" and would say "baby needs his mama" referring to me, his wife who is almost 4 years younger …. Crazy people they are!

  12. My God. I just realized why females eschew me for other guys: I have a diminished capacity for flattery. Epiphany

  13. THANK YOU! You broke it down so well.

  14. This was my experience with my narcissist boyfriend! So on point! Thank you and continue to bring awareness of these BULLIES!!!

  15. The "Love Bomb:"  Flatter, then Flatten.

  16. Went to a Corporate National Sales meeting with my Wife…Talk about a jiz fest of ego stroke…I ended up speaking with one of the other spouses to escape the orgy.

  17. I learned (really slowly…) to sit back and leave the space open for people to show me who they are and what they're like – very instructive! As Harriet Lerner said – "Don't do something, just sit there!"

  18. This video was very helpful in my learning process. The one thing I know of that is more powerful than this is pregnancy/ postpartum hormones. I've always had a strong mind, but the hormones that come along with pregnancy, postpartum and nursing a baby alone suck the energy out. The last thing my ex said was "you'll NEVER be one of US!" Then he took off, even missed our baby's 1st birthday last week.

  19. "Many lick before they bite" a wise proverb! Now that I know better, if someone flatters me it must be false because it could only be superficial. You can only be flattered by someone who doesn't know you.

  20. oah my goodness I told him to stop fishing for compliments lol You hit the nail on the head and killed like 8 birds with a stone at the same time! Mind blown !

  21. I feel like every video you have is helping me sooo much

  22. Hi just came across this site and I feel you can help. This clip I needed because although 100% no contact I still find myself falling for these feeders, even when I just want a quiet,peaceful zone for my nerves to heal.It has been 4 years but it is like you can never let your guard down .I hope that it is possible,is it??

  23. A P

    Wonderful insightful advice!

  24. One said to me.. Hey feed my ego!!

  25. Yes I have read that book. That's what brought me to your channel from doing a search on here and your video popped up. I have had C-PTSD from relationships with these types of women so it's easy for me to say wait for sex because the symptoms of that are horrible. It's not worth it. I would rather have a relationship with a normal woman and slowly build trust and intimacy and have her open up to me sexually over time and have the emotions be mutual.

  26. This is such great advice. I have been in relationships with 3 women who I believe have BPD and or NPD. I would like to add that sex will be used as a means of hooking a person as well. And the sex will be really good too! If a person can only fake emotions and give you false flattery, then its sex that will solidify the idealization/love bomb. Taking things slow is the way to go! I just recently ended a 3 month relationship with a NPD/BDP and I think if I would have waited longer to have sex then I would have ended things much sooner. It's easy to rationalize red flags and warning signs when you are having fun and going on dates and having lots of sex. Take it slow and get to know. It's solid advice. I love the YouTube channel merideth!

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