The cerebral male narcissists pathological viewpoint on sex and intimacy; the cerebral male narcissist is often uninterested in sex other than it being a tool to …
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The Male Cerebral/Covert Narcissist: Sex, Intimacy & Control
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OMG! You are the first person that has said that in all of the videos I've watched, about the cerebral narcissist possibly being homosexual. You know you get those moments that make you go Hmmm? like some of his mannerisms especially when we would go out to eat. but actually the very first time I saw him and he got out of his car and was walking to me, my first thought was that this guy is gay, but then I dismissed it. and it's always been in the back of my mind that my ex could possibly be homosexual/bisexual. wow that is quite interesting, I am really loving your videos, keep it going and you keep going with your healing, God bless you
Like Vankman I am a diagnosed psychopath in the dark quadrad range.. We don't need "supply" and like you mentioned earlier about your ex that he admitted his narc self but we KNOW what we are doing! Sex to us is not control and we can be bisexual but we tend to be voluntarily celibate, also sex with us is mind blowing but that is besides the point.. We are what society considers "evil" because many of us like to destroy our victims, some are physical murderers and others are of the mental variety..
I want to discuss the deep mother issue for a minute… Has anyone (specifically other women) had any experience with their cerebral narcissist's mother being almost nonexistent? This video mentions the mother who is critical, etc… but my narcissist's mother suffers from early-onset Ahlzheimer's and for much of his young life she was not able to be the mother that most people see a mother being. Her disease wasn't diagnosed until 4 years ago and he is 30 year old. Currently, her disease has progressed quickly the last few years and she is sadly a shell of who she was, forgetting how to eat, open gifts, who her sons are, incontinence, etc. My narcissist describes his mother as someone who was so kind, loving, etc. and claims his father beat them both. His father is genuinely a kind-hearted man who still takes care of his wife, entirely by himself. Honestly, I have a hard time believing his father was abusive and I very much wonder if his mother was the abuser and because of her Alzheimer's, my narcissist is unable to deal with it and projects it onto his father, who he does have a great relationship with. Does the mother being an atypical mother (not having what most people describe as motherly traits/qualities) fit this "deep mother issues" characteristic? She was someone who drank, used drugs, etc. but he almost seems to lie about how "wonderful" and "amazing" she was, like he idolizes a false image of her. Thoughts?
This aspect of the narcissistic relationship was by far the worst feeling I've ever experienced!
this has helped a lot. with my daughters dad whom I was with for twenty something years did this. he water sex when I didn't when we were first together and when I got in my 30s and wanted sex he didnt. he would always have an excuse and say that he had a problem and I made him feel bad because I woukd say something for him to go get help. I did get the nerve to leave him only to have a narcissistic psychopath to find me and I believed this man to be my best friend my soul mate. was with him for a year and a half, the first 6 months was just friends. but when we did become sexual he wanted to have sex all the time. even the last night we were together before I ended things. but what got me about this video is that one night before sex or after sex but I think it was before, I remember him telling me that I reminded me if his mom. I said to him I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing and kinda laughed it off. I looked up on line trying to figure out if it was a good thing or a bad thing for a guy to say you remind them of there mom. but I know with his ex wife before they were divorced, she told me they never had sex for a good year and of half at the end of the marrage. and that he would tell her he was watching porn and getting off 5 times watching it. and he made her feel inadequate abut herself. I guess when we talked and she asked me things and I told her I guess it must have hurt her a lot. that wasn't my intentions though. she asked I told. I had nothing to hide but I guess it really hurt her when she knew he always wanted sex from me. what is weird is the sex was good, nice and loving and passionate. it wasn't 50 shades of grey or worse. so I don't know if he saw me as a whore or the Madonna. there were times when my gut told me he cheated and when I said something he would get really mad even after this so called massage therapist came over but he made sure to tell me that he had oil all between his legs. but my gut told me something wasn't right before he told me that. it's weird how our guts or intuition tells us things but we don't listen because we don't belive them to be true or we don't want them to be true and each time they probably are. I know I should have listened to my gut/intuition on a February night in 2014. if I woukd have I might have saved my self all this pain. but at the time he gave no reason for me not to trust him. we were only friends and friends only. but that night he changed that and I had nothing to say about it. other then to forgive him or have to live with it being true. forgive and forget seemed to be the right choice at the time but now I can see I should have done what any sane woman would have done. but I just couldn't believe he did it to me…..
so yes our brains can block a lot out for reasons that we don't know. it goes into protection mode and believes what it is doing is to protect us from anymore harm. which I believe is exactly why things worked out like they did because I might not be here today to write this. but they say that narcissistic psychopaths wait till you think that it's over but that is when they strike. so my guard will never be let down. never….
does anyone know why she hasn't been posting anymore videos for like 5 months now. is she ok? just wondering. thank you and god bless.
OMG !!!!!! Thank You, Thank You , Thank You ,. almost word for word what I went through, You provided me the answers that I needed. Foremost is validation that it happened. I thought that it was me with the sex. The Rules The No give nor receive oral. At the start and early on the sex was omg wonderful then like a light switch it changed to almost none and when we did the intimacy was gone on her part it was like a chore that she tolerated and if I wanted it more or like we used to well then I was called a pervert. I'm sorry I said maybe more then I should but a great weight has been lifted. I feel like I can breath now. Thank you again and may God Bless you.
I don't care for sam v. he has a strange vibe.
SO TRUE!!!!!…………… THANKS!
…..Right ON! You're good. Especially with the Bi-sexual closeted homosexual part and the incest. I unmasked a covert narcissist He is RAW now and licking his wounds. He was a totally different "person" when I first met him though. Now he has been exposed and he is not a happy camper.
I went through similar things you did, but my ex is unfortunately my twin flame and we were extremely sexual, but he had a complex about his penile size and his mom actually spoke about it once it was bizarre and he had to keep his narc mother happy and she was so against me because of my skin color and told him to find a soulmate who wasnt white. I noticed he tended to date females that resembled his mother and another thing the first time I hung out with his mother she proved to me that she was pretty much a whore she slept with a man for $100 to go to the casino what made it so strange was that that was my first time like really meeting her and yet she didn't care so after 4 years and him assaulting me over finding out about some female that he was talking to you from online, now he has to go to batters prevention counseling and he has to pay all these fines and we can have no contact for a year and that's fine with me because I realized who he was after I was with him as long as I was and I feel sorry for him!
This was the straw that broke my back and really opened my eyes that there was something horribly wrong…it's sick. Not the name calling, the fact that he was the only person I ever allowed to physically abuse me…but a year of absolutely NO affection or sexual contact was the ONE thing that blew up in his face because it was the one thing I refused to let go..it kind of turned around on him. Sadly, raised in a narc family…I speak the language.
It's getting bad…
so depressing. made me happy to give up sex completely.
I believe the Cerebral Narcissist is Really Asexual but are ignorant of it, they look for and want a relationship because it is the societal Norm, and probably have no idea or ever heard of Asexual or being a Eunuch. this was the case with me, I ONLY had relationships because i knew of no alternative, and kind of resented my partners for even wanting me to participate in sexual or emotional engagements. I doubt these people are Narcissists, people just see their behaviors as an Injustice against them, and not understanding that that person is Not doing it deliberately against them. that's just the way they are and is With them in a relationship because society expects it and they know of no other alternative. But, I'm sure if the So called cerebral narcissist was introduced to the concept of Asexual. Most if not all these So called cerebra Narcissists would become non existent.. As i also Believe. How do you create a genius? remove his sex drive.
You described my ex narc exactly without exception….He often made me feel quilty for having a normal sex drive. He was very awkward about any physical contact. At the time I had no idea what or why it was the way it was. He didn't like to be spontaneous or do different things. And when if we had sex, there was always a guilt trip afterwards. It was pathetic!! And this is a man who was 53, and saying things like sex is dirty lol…I won't have any memorable sex moments to remember that's for sure. He always preferred masturbation and video chat action to the real deal. He always withheld sex after fights etc., and his own 20 yr marriage was mostly sexless. He said he didn't need it after the 7th year… Awful!!
Not only Sam Vaknin admitted he's a psychopath, not a narcissist, in the documentary I – Psychopath, he admitted to have faked his education by buying his diplomas. He called his book "Malignant Self Love", which is his term for NPD, even though NPD sufferers, deep down inside, feel they are deficient and unworthy of love. Does that sound like self love? I think it sounds a lot more like self hate.
all youre saying is identical to my narc hubby
Madonnas are onky respectable till the get them in bed! With mine any way. I was very much so in love with a man 15 years my senior. I was 23 years old when he married me and knocked me up (we discussed if it happened great, if not, no biggie) out of spite to his ex that he wouldnt marry and she couldnt have children. 11 years after their relationship ended, and he and I had been married almost that long, i tried to leave him, and during that time he contacted his ex and used her fir supply…
My narcissist hubby didnt have that type of relationship with his mother. She was a narcissist. She was cold and unloving. He hated my warm loving mother to the point he still to this day, after my mother has been dead 8 years blamws her for resenting me! And ill not even start my book of how I was treated when my mother suddenly passed away, totallt unexpectedly at the age of 51… got off track. To my narc hubby all women he deems attractive are merely something to stick his dick in. Objects, porn stars. He loves whores and sluts. He is also a sex addict. Ive been an object for 12 years. Its old and worn out… I really could write a book!
Sam Vaknin
yep – overscheduling and most likely masturbation + porn + interactive webcam.
Very well communicated. Thank you! as it gives me the validation most of us seek after feeling to be made crazy or that its our fault. I was married for 11 years to a N, and did not know what was happening, nothing made sense. I am fully aware now , have now divorced him and beginning to focus my life back me.
Damn Girly…the Triple Diagnosis – N.P.D, / B.P.D. /A.S.P.D. whew!!!! Wow just keep doing what you're doing & all will work itself out for you & your future. Btw "Deep passionate kissing," is equally important as sex is and definitely leads to Epic sex with your partner.
Very Interesting. I'm still listening but this is incredibly validating as i'm healing from my experience with my ex. I just ended it as i was fed up with the lack of support and general disrespect. The sex – the pecking instead of real kissing – the intimacy issues/challenges – etc. I discovered his preference for porn/poly/interactive sex cameras….and apparently transgender escorts. I think he's in the closet too. You just blew my mind that this is a 'trait' for some. My Narc didn't over schedule himself but he did schedule himself RIGIDLY and put up walls the same way yours did, claiming he needed massive amounts of 'down time". 🙂 Thanks for posting this….!
WOW. You hit on so many of the traits that describe my covert narc to a T! It's so amazing that they share so many of the same habits, desires, traits, coping mechanisms. Like.. is there a friggin book out there for them that they all study from??!! OMG! You are so spot on. Thank you for that! Sorry you had to endure that. I recently discarded my ex covert narc (I believe RIGHT before he was going to discard me). I was already in the devaluation stage and looking back at all the red flags… wow…. I'm in the scared phase right now… I have no idea what he is capable of. He was never overtly abusive to me. But now, the mask is off and he knows I know it is. Not sure what to expect now. I wish I could call the cops and be like.. "Be prepared… he's going to do something"… but I have no idea what he will do. Much Love to you. and Thank you!!!
Hello Ma'am, I watched this video yesterday and I thought about it all day. You have hit everything right on the head. I could hug you. My narc couldn't keep his hands off me though intimacy wise. He didn't want to do anything but work and be under me. I couldn't breathe. It was flattering until I got smothered. I have cut him completely off because his violent side is rearing it's ugly head and I don't like my man beating folks up. P.S. I don't want to be next so I got the hell out of there. I'm in the wind baby. Thanks for your video and I'm praying for you and your children.