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23 thoughts on “What is a “Grand Finale” in a Narcissistic Relationship?

  1. There is a type that stay so calm they end up driving their partner into a full mental breakdown or suicide..they end up the ultimate victim and their target is the ultimate victimizer

  2. Dana, thank You so much for everything! Love Your videos and Your voice is sooooo soothing ))) ♥♥♥

  3. Yes. There was no abuse until I left, then there was a scary 24 hours until family came and moved me out.

  4. Is it possible to not have the idealization phase at all or to not notice it?

  5. God what a drama magnet….ill bet this woman just looooves to watch soap operas….loooooves the chaos. I dont think you could live without all the chaos swarming through your mind.

  6. if you look into the sun during the 1st hour it rises ansd last hour it sets you develop telepathy and communication becomes flawless<3 also do it with no shoes on and touching earth<3

  7. I was in a relationship with a narcissist who insisted I move in with him because (long story) My soon to be ex was not keeping our house up, it was falling apart, it was full of fleas, etc, etc…. So I do. First, I enjoy watching the show "say yes to the dress" and he would watch with me. we began to joke about the fact that I could not bring myself to say wedding dress or engagement ring, so he started calling them the "most beautiful dress" and the "most beautiful ring" (that a woman will ever wear) MBD & MBR for short. he was like my soulmate was like love at first sight, like, he was "the one" fast forward about 4 months later, it's coming up on our first Christmas together. First he tells me he's on call Christmas (he worked for a security company answering and troubleshooting alarms)I was a little sad, but didn't want to make a big deal of it. Then he kept repeatedly saying "NO CHRISTMAS PRESENTS, LET'S SAVE THE MONEY…OK.. REMEMBER NO PRESENTS" And I remember thinking isn't the first Christmas where you go overboard out of newfound love?? So I just mumble OK, but in the back of my mind I keep thinking he has a surprise up his sleeve. Christmas day, I had gotten him a few small things, like a tshirt, a coffee mug, like that. he got me a big card. my name was on the front of the envelope and all over the envelope he had written the words MBR (most beautiful ring = our lingo for engagement ring) inside, caution: MBR, do not crush MBR. But the card was flat, so I thought OMG! when I look up from opening this card he's gonna whip out a ring & propose. well, I opened the card and inside the card, in big letters was written JUST KIDDING HAHAHAHA. MERRY CHRISTMAS…… OMG. then we had no turkey or anything to prepare for Christmas dinner, and of course, he gets a call from a "customer" and has to go out and make a service call, leaving me and my 14 yr old son (who had come to visit) home alone on Christmas. Finally figured out he was cheating. but here's the kicker.. he was meeting this woman for the first time in person that day, CHRISTMAS DAY, She was Chinese (they don't place that much emphasis on Christmas, she was Buddhist) When I confronted him with it, he kicked me out. but he got his. I had to continue living there while I looked for an apartment.  One Saturday nite he told me I had to get out for the day the next day as he wanted to bring her home. I was planning to visit my girlfriend anyway. next morning  he got up and left as i was getting ready to shower. I noticed that ALL traces of me were removed from view. I found them and as he was already gone, I put everything back, BUT this time I put the pics of us in prominent view, left a big note thanking him for the great sex the night before, etc.  Then My phone rings and it's john and speaking very business like, says i thought you were going out, I thought you would be gone, I see you are still there….. OMG, he must have already picked her up and was watching the house. (found out later, they were parked down the street) So I hopped in my car and left in a hurry. When I came back home a day later, he was at work but I found all my things thrown everywhere and the pictures broken, the glass shattered all over the closet where he threw them. By then, I was no longer sleeping with him, I was sleeping on the couch. Well one night I must have gotten up to use the bathroom and half asleep went into the bedroom and climbed in on my side of the bed. when I did, I heard his phone drop on the floor. Knowing he also uses it for the alarm to wake him up for work, I go pick it up and put it back on the nightstand. when it fell the screen lit up and there was HER text screen, which of course had her number. very easy to memorize. I moved into an apartment shortly after that and texted her. After the second text, she called me. she spoke broken English and was very nice and asked "do you want John" and I said are you kidding me I only texted you because I wanted you to know and didn't want him to use your good nature like he did mine. Then all the lies he was telling HER about ME came tumbling out like rain. As we hung up I started counting the minutes  cause I KNEW I'd be getting a phone call. No more than 20 minutes later,  John called me & he was  LIVID, screaming how could I do such a thing, etc….. SHE DUMPED HIS SORRY ARSE!

  8. Yet another way to make you fill "less" than is the most hurtful way. It scare me to think that my nar, will get worse as he gets older. I thought he was a monster, yet it explains how he wasn't that bad 3 years ago. Thank You..you keep my feet on the ground, making me stronger each passing day!

  9. Wow, got everything you said done! You are right on.

  10. True. When I found out about the cheating, behind the scenes talking to other guys. The smear campaign went through the roof. Playing the victim.

  11. I find most narcissist to be women but when she speaks she always says the word he. She hate men and believe women are perdect angels and could not be a narcissist.

  12. dear dana, thanks so much for all your advise, you are saving lives this way. I only recently found out through therapy and watching your videos that I have been dealing with a Narc husband for 10 years. I am still in shock. Everything matches up. But the sick thing is,, that even though my gut tells me that I should not trust him as he mathes all your desciptions. But I just cant imagine he would do anything harmful. I am in such confusion. This situation is driving me crazy, all my family and friends already gave up on us because they despise him- but I keep falling into his trap: doing sweet, playing with our daughter, cooking and cleaning again suddenly. Anyway. My question is: my gut has been telling me he is seeing other women, hiding his financials from me (he never helps paying bills) etc. but apparently I need to see some PROOF before I actually one 100% believe it with my own eyes and can leave him for good and not get sentimental again and take him back. I WANT MY LIFE BACK! HOW can I get this closure? How can I trap him? He is now off to a weekend somewhere, suddenly, I have no idea where he is, and I just want to nail his ass with some proff of his deceit and lying. I cannot access his phone or emails. So, any tips here? thanks..

  13. I know more now, but my ex is a narcissist, the lack of empathy……that's what I saw when the end came. No remorse, none. It hurt so bad because I spent 8 years with this monster. How can someone feel nothing? Very sad.

  14. I love your videos. I have two ex-narcissists in my life. One I was with for 3 years (he was the worst by far) and another for 10 years (I married that one, because he seemed like an angel compared to the first, but turns out he was almost has bad as the first once the mask came off). I'm so bad at picking men.

    I do feel like you're describing a very extreme case of narcissism here though, leaning towards psychopathy, especially with the Scott Peterson story and the lie detector story. I'm not an expert, but that's just my layman's understanding of the terms.

  15. Wow…That story you told sounds down right scary. Someone could make a horror movie about that guy with 2 seperate mobile phones who kills his wife after her finding out about it and it would be a lot scarier than most of the horror films Ive seen.

    The scariest part about it : There are Narcissists who do that shit in real life. Run guys, trust your gut feeling and never look back

  16. There needs to be a different type of lie detector for Narcissist..

  17. I know this!!! It's crazy. I never knew this kind of behavior was real. But I lived it!
    Mind Fuck is right! The cycle is the same…I know that. Wish I could tell the next & the next & the next gal. Check out http://www.womansavers.com The narc I dated was already on there.

  18. YEP, Carl, Curt, SMH 100% them.

  19. What gets me is this all happens an it's all over and then they come back.

  20. Hi. Did you have kids with him? If so, how did you handled the relationship with him considering you could not lose full contact and why did you manage the fear for him to hurt them to hurt you? Thanks.

  21. Thank you so much for this ♥

  22. Do all narcissist cheat? These people are capable of anything and everything.

  23. Grand finale is usually physical abuse

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