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Cutting That Narcissist Off-YAY- A Success Story!
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I've been binging on your videos. I'm so grateful that I found you. I'm 52 and just discovered that I've been in a trance. I'm am absolutely the "golden child" of a narcissist. I believed that I WAS good, that my siblings were bad..I bought into it because I needed not to be abandoned. I'm sick about the things I've participated in to reinforce my narcissists needs. I see now my role and I'm going to change it. You have made it possible for me to prepare for the pain that is about to blow up in my life. I'm secretly a little giddy at what my life could be after all of this, thank you Lisa.
So many light-bulbs popping off in my brain. I can see, I can see, I can see!! I have ALWAYS put myself last. I get genuine joy from being kind and thoughtful, but now I am looking deeper – I always thought you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you – but with a few exceptions – people take, and don't reciprocate the love. I deserve better and I need to learn to love the inner me.
I love your videos! You are such a bright light in my process! I am reprogramming the hard drive & learning to love me! Thank you for service & the incredible bright light you shine on all our paths. Namaste, dear one!
can 2 codependents be together?
People do test to see how susceptible their target is to manipulation and abuse, whether they are manipulative and abusive, or if they want to be certain that you are not the kind of person who can be easily mislead.
Right , when two people come together they intertwine their nervous systems and become one.
They say people split up , well , people don't split . rocks split , wood splits , but people tear apart.
thank you…you made me cry cause thats exactly how it goes down in my house.
I'm on my journey …I soo wish I would have met u 15 years ago….when I left my narc …and now finally with ur help my life is making sense at 50!!! Whew…I'm on the journey and it's so freeing …to have the tools now to help my self … Wish counselors would apply this content more !!! Ur amazing thanks
What about Narcisissts that play like you are the Naricissist and they are the Victim (codependent)– they project that they are the victim of you… ?? AND convince everyone this is the truth…
I'm in a sea of crab in a barrel. I don't understand how one would resent a person's ambitions. These people like to tell me that I'm not expected to do anything because I'm handicapped. I didn't get that memo. It's like Jim Crow only the water foundations are label "Handicapped" and "Ablesim."—not "White" and "Colored". I never felt exempt of work because of limitations. I have a voracity for self-sufficiency. I don't understand how one can watch me struggles and not see how well he's got it. These people have the ability to make lazy A's in contrast to my hardworking F's. Then I know handicapped who resented me being the most abled in the group. I had achieved a lot more when I was 21 than they, at age 45. In 1990, at age 21, I had a couple of jobs—-production and wages. I had been in college where I couldn't succeed due to my learning disability. However, I learned a lot in the basics where I learned the hard stuff in high school. One of the things I learned was punctuation. I perfected in writing in my diaries. I have kept t diaries since 1980 when I was three weeks shy of my 11th birthday. Yes, this is year 37 of keeping a diary.
I was in a similar situation but. I started to see a pattern in the fact that they (the guy and his ex ) kept getting back together just like him and I did.
I think though it's because there's so many lies flying around that I actually think they get super tired they disappear because they really don't have anything to say
If you start having other relations with just men in general then the narcissist gets extremely hostile and soon as they get there ex on the hook aka Debbie
Then he goes back to his girlfriend
Because when the male is that disgusting inside he needs new material to start drafting other unaware targets
Wow! Love love you!!! I am grateful to God for your beautiful channel. I had been "stuck" ever since my divorce ten years ago. And even though i met and feel in love with my best friend who makes life such a joy…i knew i needed to work on some very deep seeded things that were holding me back from being the best God wanted me to be.I kept pushing and searching on the internet until…i found your channel!!! Blessings…you have helped me breakthrough and see the light.So excited to know i am not alone and i am thrilled beyond belief to have been led to your channel <3
Love the part about how they have to be miserable when you are happy. They hate seeing you happy. I was blinded to that for years.
Hi I am 50 yrs old and just finding out i have this problem and i love your videos i am hoping this will take me to my next level in life. a year ago i left my husband and fell back and forth all yr and now with a boy friend that am finding the same way except on was an alcoholic and this one isnt but both in the same. they way they talk. i recently got a councilor and told me i was co-dependent and found your videos Thank you
Hi Lisa:-) You are absolutely wonderful! Everything that you are saying makes so much sense to me. The way that you explain everything that we all are feeling is so accurate that it's almost like you flicked a light switch on in my brain. After 37yrs I'm finally seeing for the first time! Wow! Thank you so much!
This is an EXCELLENT video. Thanks so much Lisa. You are SOOOO wise. Plus, you crack me up!
Peace and Love to you.
~Hope
ya I found out the so called ex wife isn't so ex-y ididnt think she was stillin his life at all surprise and he accidently put the following on main chat instead ofprivate " ill take care of u and make your cheeziest romance movie look like a scary movie.. and romance u like a scary movie … I cant remember the exact wording but u get the idea people onchat were wth… he was alsoreal terrible to aslow-ish guy I was hanging outwith people blocked him for a few days after …theres more but
Hi Lisa! I as well after a year and 3 months of abuse and therapy and learning i fed the nar ex- girlfriend the whole truth of who she is. totally exposed with evidence of 25 pages of written abuse and 4 other people with the knowledge of her and if anything was ever to happen to me the finger would be pointed! im prepared defensively for what might be coming from this malignant sociopath with narc tendencies. not to brag but it helps to be highly intelligent, talented , and sucessful to battle these monsters. You as well as many others here on you tube have helped so much! i live you all! Now im like a psychologist myself through daily feeding myself of knowledge. Im free and have put that puzzle piece together. what triggered my final retreat? it was when she faked the death of her brother which disturbed me so greatly being a man that lost his daughter to menengitis. the final straw!
So valuable to my awakening ! Lisa ,I get it ! And just identifying and "swallowing the nails " all with difficulty AND JOY . TI see and now know steps to take to disengage . I will be seeking your books TODAY. , Awesome thanks ….
one thing we codependents are starved of in relationships with narcs is encouragement, and your videos are very encouraging. Thank you! You're helping me tremendously and doubtless many others as well. I've been crippled for years
one thing we codependents are starved of in relationships with narcs is encouragement, and your videos are very encouraging. Thank you! You're helping me tremendously and doubtless many others as well. I've been crippled for years
Thank you, Lisa. You are helping me to realize that my ex-husband's affair, while I thought at that time was the most painful and devastating thing to ever happen to me, was a true gift and probably one of the best things to ever happen to me in my life (after the births of my children). His affair and my subsequent divorce from him (btw, he begged to reconcile after I filed) have given me an opportunity to, as you say, die to the old and be born again to the new. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure I would have stayed in an emotionally abusive marriage probably to the very end.
love you.
You are so beautiful and such an inspiration to me. You are really helping me get free of the narc and do the inner work to be healthy. Also, I just really like being called "dear one." It's just so darn sweet!
omg, that's exactly what I felt when I realized what my whole life was…like I died! and then I had a life review of complete awfulness. I tried to scream but I couldn't. I could only go into the fetal position.
What you said about not being able to bond with your mom because she had never been able to bond with HER mother really struck a chord. A light bulb popped on immediately. It explains why I don't feel a real connection with my mom. She's basically a nice person but she's so closed off, so shut down emotionally. As usual, I had always blamed myself for somehow lacking something vis-a-vis my relationship with her. THANK YOU!!! I can start to let go of wanting what I'll never have and to accept her as she is, not the way I want her to be.
Thanks for sharing. :-)
I used the grey rock method after taking a step back from being love-bombed and seeing the narc for who he was and paying attention … it worked … he went back to his ex-victim, I stopped feeding his supply at the quick … I feel lucky to have escaped without having to involve the police, but it was close
A truly inspirational video. Clear, concise and straight to the point. This really helps at difficult times. Thank you for all your help.
Thank you for this video, and all of them! After two, long-term, unhealthy relationships for all of the reasons you describe, I am finally single at age 38, living alone for the first time, and it is AWESOME! I feel so empowered and as if I am getting to know a new, great friend – me!
Thanks for all of your positive thoughts and supportive messages. Take care :)
Until I found your videos there was still a doubt in my mind, I wondered if the demise of the relationship might have been my fault, but wow, not only did you describe me to a T but also him…….no doubts, you also helped me to let go of self blame
you are brilliant, helped me so much. Your videos are really empowering as well as insightful, thanks you
How does weed play into a narc?
Mind. Blown. This articulates the precipice I am currently standing on. Thank you!!!!
I have just found you tonight and I think you are totally amazing, sat here all night watching your videos and just love them, so insightful <3
I think I am going thorough the painful experience of departing, in many level and with many people. But: they are not narcs, in my opinion. I am afraid that I have been floating in the field of some kind of co-dependent swamp or morass, where nothing exactly moves forward. This continuous helpers-help needers – circle that I seem to be stuccoed in, is grueling. I think and I want people, who think and see how strong I am, what I can, what I've achieved – and of course same for them. This continuous problems-solving discussions, helpers, needers whatever – I am sick and tired of it. There is no narcs, I am quite sure of it: only more or less co-dependent people who minimize themselves in all levels. I've got enough. I feel that I can not even say: "I am hungry!" when some of those dear "helpers" come to tell me, what I should eat, where to by my dinner or food, from whom (from their friend, of course) and if i tell: "Well, I was going to eat pizza!" There i a big silence: Ive betrayed them. I live in unhealthy ways and not in their ways… Well, this is a methapfor, not a real situation, but I mean with this, that to be with co-dependent people is very sticky. It is nothing else but problems, problems, problems, "we are weak, you are weak, it is ok to need help, everyone needs help…" and then they shit help even you do not need any help! You just would like someone, some day, to listen what you have to say, about your life, about your experiences, what you have discovered YOURSELF, without any fucking help! I am sick of co-dependent people and I do everything not to be the one any more!
When you go to the job interview, validate your works and yourself more than the boss, because in the work life you will meet your narc "parents"and siblings". This is my experience now. If you take an attitude, that you must please everyone and you are ready to whatever… you are in trouble. When you know your value, you know that you are good, you make a good job and it is YOU, who should be valued for that, you will have better chances to go up, have a good salary etc. Of course: in this case you really must be good and know your field and what you do. I just know that there are many people who do a very good job, they ARE good, but because they do not value themselves, they go no-where when people, who are half talented as they are, go up just because they value that talent they have. So many talented people live under their real level. Oh, this teaching tone in this message, but well: this is what I've observed in my work life. I've observed who go up and who stay. I've really wondered, why some people who seem to have half of those talents some other do, go up and those who really can do things, stay down. The answer is very simple: This who go up, they WANT it, the believe that they deserve it and they go for it. They do not succeed at once, but sooner or later they will, because they do not seek too much validation from others, they believe in themselves and they believe in what they want.
My narc parentally kidnapped all 4 of my children, two at a time, two years apart! He thinks he is a NAVY SEAL, but never been in the military. This is just a glimpse. My story is horrific.