How the narcissist sees the “normal people” and his relationship with them. The narcissist feels used and that he is actually doing a great effort towars his …
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How the Narcissist Sees “Normal People”
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I can't feel for a narcissist. I simply cannot. They have their life structured on delusions and their prospect is crocked! It's very painful to handle them but yes, I agree. It feels horrible in their place but they also make it that way. They won't see any wrong, they always blame, victimize and hurt others. Simple words: my emotions are hugely exhausted by my mother that I have no tolerance for any abuse or narcissism. Being trying to figure my problem since I was a teenager.. I was the dumpster for her and I had a sense of right and wrong as a child; born with it! I couldn't be her dream puppet, she hated me for it. I understand that and I am feeling enough with it. I live with her sadly because it's unsafe in my country to live on your own but yes, if I can, I would be living on my own away. I have plans to immigrate but it needs some time .. I was born to be and be free, my mother jailed me since day one and I confront her so yea, She is in a terminator stage.
That's my mother. She is untreatable because as many narcissists, she can't see herself but great and flawless…. sadly.
Parts of this sounds like me. I am not a Narcissist. I've always thought of my issues a co-dependency. I had some social anxiety as teenager. I have attracted narcissists, some idealize, devalue, and discard, and others just eventually devalue and discard. This is definitely not the internal dialogue I expected to hear. Well I'm second guessing myself a bit, I am defiantly not a Narcissist.
my very first 'deep' thought as I saw it when I was very young was that nasty people will live their lives like a bird of prey. They might think they are all powerful but at the end of the day they sit ALONE on the wire. None of the other birds ( even other predators) want to know them. Their lives will remain this way and they'll never find the way out because they'll never try sincerely enough to see the problem. I was about ten. looking back on this observation is like shining a torch of truth into the darkness they created all around me…
This inner dialogue could be a co dependent. Co dependent people feel they help other people and get nothing in return. I think this sounds more like a codependent than a narcissist. Co dependents spend their whole relationship giving to the narcissist and not getting alot in return. Generally narcissists take in a relationship and the codependent gives and doesnt get alot in return. Narcissists dont run around helping others, it is more about what they can get from others, they USE others for their gain. THis just doesnt fit the narc. All your other videos do but this one made me confused
Reading the comments be like:
Here´s Johnny! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I once posted my version of narcissism on an other video and thankfully the Sam fanbase is a smart bunch who show a wide variety of open minded intellectual opinions. Keep it up!
While this inner monologue does include fragments of narcissistic thought, it is also very similar to the inner monologue of someone with social anxiety or a horrible understand of social dynamics. A narcissistic victim that's attracted and engaged in a relationship with a narcissist might have a very similar internal monologue while fully justified. I'm just saying, don't assume this monologue is a diagnostic criterion for self-diagnosing narcissism. It's more a demonstration of the narcissist's inability to understand how he/she is actually functioning.
How utterly desolate an existence. No sympathy here…sorry. They've hurt too many people.
wow.. for the first time, I really got it.. the origin of how painful it must be.. to be stuck in that loop.. of desperately needing narcissistic supply, like food, from a continuous stream of new sources, only to find them, eventually, sucked dry.
Like a mental vampire.. endlessly stuck with a hunger that can never be satisfied. And having no further use for the lifeless body beside you, always feeling compelled to move on, to satisfy an ever insatiable appetite for more narcissistic supply.. simply to keep the emptiness at bay..
How sad & terrifying that must be for a child. To be so neglected and abused, that such a sad grown up monster is created.
There are lots of people who are not worth helping because they're not trustworthy and are users just looking to take advantage of someone. The practical/sensible person can often spot or detect them, make rational choices and avoid them. However, the narc I knew seemed to seek them out so he could then play the victim once he was taken advantage of and used. I told him, "You keep casting pearls before swine and then complaining constantly about the results. You need to stop acting like you're Santa Claus or Mother Theresa and have a little common sense." This offended him greatly and he went into a rant about how kind and caring he was and how horrible other people were not to see it and respond in like manner. Even in his "personal" relationships, he'd meet some loser/user/hustler and even when knowing them for only a few weeks he'd proceed to create a fantastical fairy tale in his own mind about it and what a wonderful life they were going to have together and would refuse to listen to any warnings. It seemed that he thrived both on the resultant drama and on being a "victim." He'd then use this scenario to explain how he was a superior person (better than all the rest) and how no one was worthy of him. On one occasion at my house, I listened to his latest disaster story and asked him, "Are you a thrill junkie? Do you get off on all this? Is this why you constantly and consistently seek out these situations?" He literally exploded and began screaming hysterically that no one could talk to him like that and he "wouldn't stay in this house another second!" and stormed out of the house in a rage. He was also horribly jealous and envious of people who had normal, healthy relationships. A lot of the narc's behavior was obviously self defeating in that he constantly set himself up for highly negative consequences but it allowed him to put himself upon a pedestal where he could worship himself and rage against the world and all the inferior people in it. By the age of 50, he'd never had a "relationship" that lasted more than a few weeks or months and they always ended in disaster. Additionally, even with his extended family (all of his aunts, uncles, cousins etc) all were declared to be "troublemakers" and "stupid." He'd rail against them constantly and their "awful behaviors" but then also use that as a way to crow over how he was such a much better person than all of them were and how he wasn't going to put up with them. Narcs are so completely nutty!
In all fairness they do give a lot to their relationships…split along ten girlfriends or boyfriends at a time it just isn't that apparent to the 'special one'. My ex worked harder to balance it all than anyone I've seen managing just one.
Man, i'm a narcissist. Is it a permanent mental state for someone? Could meditation change it?
I have a question for people who have dealt with narcissists: does your narcissist talk a lot? do they tend to dominate the conversation? Or are they not a big talker? Just wondering if talking a lot is a common thing among narcs and if all narcs talk a lot (or if its just some).
it's a myth, the narcissist's 'torturous childhood'. Narcissism occurs in men far more often for a cultural, social reason. it is the consequence of a strong sense of entitlement and superiority, suppression of emotion, empathy and vulnerability – all quintessential aspects of masculinity (and 'rugged individuality') as well as the consequence of misogyny (women have to cater to men, are seen as inferior and mere extensions – tools – rather than individuals, exactly as Vaknin explains). The idea that this is all about childhood abuse is an affront to anyone who's been subject to actual abuse (of all the many narcissists I've seen throughout my life, hardly ANY had a truly tough abusive childhood), but it is also covertly sexist, as you will find that most often it's just another round of mother-blaming.
My narc "confronted" me a month before I dumped him and demanded that I go to therapy and get help for my "problem". And what was the problem he referred to–I quit kissing his @$$. He interpreted me withholding supply as a psychiatric problem. LOL I told him to go himself and that I was no longer interested in saving our marriage. He said he would and of course he didn't. He hid assets for a month and that was a red flag to me so I kicked him out and filed divorce. Now he's living with his parents, unemployed, and hangs out in dive bars desperately looking for a woman who will take care of him.
i did "get" that this is their inner dialogue. I was just amazed that one could feed himself/herself this level of bullshit . Sam, I would love to know what the virtuous inner dialogue is right before they launch a smear campaign against you designed to alienate all your friends and family .
Interesting. About gifts, I realized this narcissistic female who had been stabbing me in the back(I later find) was nice to me in a crowd. They had been running smear campaigns against me hence why they are being nice. Maybe they think that I didn't hear or know. Perhaps it is their guilt that makes them give you things. Maybe normal people can see through that charade. Maybe their true self comes out every time they don't get their way. Normal people probably have better boundaries and use time to get to know people very well. Keep them as acquaintances for some time before making them friends and if they see the red flags they won't even go there. Perhaps normal people refuse to put out all the STOP signs despite the sense of urgency that the narc places on people. This is very wise.
Double time, hit the button too soon.
The negligible ignorance of behavior
Guess what type of people are the least narcissistic???
Never in 63 years have I had a narcissist ask me what he/she can do to improve himself/herself. They're perfect. You're the flawed one. That's why the only solution with these "people" is exit stage left.
This is very true. This is coming from self experience, Sam is very right about this.