You can quickly identify a narcissist by giving them disinformation. Tell them something ‘not true’ and sit back and wait to see of they try to use this ‘fake’ …
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I Fooled a Narcissist by Giving Disinformation
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OMG! I'm working in an office with several narcs. I can't eat pork due to a medical condition. EVERY office potluck is covered in pork! :(
excellent. I have done this. It's very good advice.
My in-laws totally did exactly what you're describing. When we moved from the US to Australia, I mentioned that I am deathly afraid of snakes. We stayed with them for our first few months in Australia (yeah, I know, huge mistake in retrospect).
Here we were, a family of 4 (two small children) who gave up everything familiar to move across the planet. We were exhausted, knew practically no one, etc. Within a day, it became clear that my youngest daughter and I were reacting badly to the mosquitos that were biting us (she and I have always been beloved by mosquitos, unfortunately).
Well, my in-laws would leave their doors and screens wide open, so that bugs (particularly mosquitos) would just come on in. In the middle of the night, the mosquitos would bite the crap out of my daughter and I, right through our blankets and pj's!
My poor daughter had it worse than I did. This poor, innocent little girl would come to breakfast covered with WELTS all over her body from the mosquitos biting her in her sleep.
So, we asked very politely if people could please keep doors and screens closed, not only to avoid snakes from coming in (they live in the bushland where snakes are common) but also to keep us from getting eaten alive each night by mosquitos.
They literally threw their heads back and howled! They got so angry that we would DARE to ask them something so "inconveniencing" to them, and at first refused to do it. After a couple of weeks more of our poor daughter waking up with mosquito welts on her body (can you even imagine refusing to protect your precious, innocent granddaughter from mosquito welts??), my husband asked them again (and again, they howled, but said they would "try to remember more often").
Naturally, nothing changed…and in fact, whenever my husband was at work, one of them (I fully believe they took turns doing this) would go and open doors and screens behind me – I would make the rounds practically all day long closing screens and doors behind people).
They would complain to extended family about how ungrateful we were because we dared to ask them to do such a terribly inconvenient task as to ensure doors and screens were kept closed (I can't even imagine why you'd open a screen? It's not as though you're going to get more air flow into your home if you move the screen out of the way).
I lived in constant fear of a snake coming into the house and biting us (you may have heard that Australia has some of the most deadly snakes on earth…several of which live in the bushland where my in-laws live). I had regular panic attacks over it, and yet no one cared enough to close a door so I could feel a little more secure in my own home (which, yes, of course I realize they never wanted me to feel I was "at home" there).
They had a wonderful smear campaign going against us horribly ungrateful people (even though we said thank you regularly for having a place to stay, I did housework every day, including dishes, laundry, vacuuming, picking up, and we often bought our own groceries…I always ensured our kids played quietly and that they picked up after themselves, etc).
So, yeah…they were very happy to take a vulnerability and exploit it…and then turn it around on us and accuse us of being horrible people when we complained (politely) about it. Eventually I snapped (towards the end), which of course is great fodder for their smear campaign against me. I couldn't care less, because I have nothing to do with any of the cronies that they've smeared my good name to, but still.
I realized in that moment that I need to keep vulnerabilities close to the vest, lest these awful people try to use them to hurt us again.
LMAO how refreshing instead of "run for cover" :D
I had shared that I was having some conflict with people, but not at my fault. Later, when we weren't getting along the narc said "see you don't get along with anyone this is why no one wants to be around you" and so forth. Anyone else have this experience with information being used against you?
I had shared that I was having some conflict with people, but not at my fault. Later, when we weren't getting along the narc said "see you don't get along with anyone this is why no one wants to be around you" and so forth. Anyone else have this experience with information being used against you?
Keep rockin these videos! You have no idea how many people you are helping. Including me!
I love this video. I often feel powerless in how to discern toxic people. This is a great 'weapon'. You are funny and bring this serious issue of narcissism with a sort of 'serious lightness' Its great. Its not all pain. And there are healthy, humurous ways to protect oneself from harm. Nothing manipulative about it.
That's hilarious. I've totally done that before a few times before watching this. I've been dealing with a parent who is an extreme narcissist. Thanks because I'm glad I'm not the only one who has to do this. Once a sibling of mine was in on it once totally giving disinfo on something about what we knew we'd end up having to eat for the holidays.
Like when you tell somebody you don't eat meat and so they give you 12 pounds of chicken for Christmas as well as the Costco size chicken bouillon and every time they see you they try to pressure you into meat. These people really are insane.
ahhh …this cracks me up. thank you ♡
I see our narc neighbor as looking for attention for herself, more than trying to hurt us. She called the county trying to get us a "violation" which was not successful, but a waste of our time. She is looking for a confrontation for attention on herself, making her the victim so she can also get attention from her husband (and friends). She keeps doing things at our adjoining property line trying to get a 'rise' out of us (or my husband); plus brings over a stray cat asking my husband 'what should "we" do about it.' He told her he isn't going to do anything about it. So she keeps failing at getting attention from us. Ha, ha, ha! I wouldn't give her attention if she was the last narc on earth! It's more amusing just waiting to see what she will do next!
Right, I'm going to picK my second favourite choice for something….I can't loose. And something that is expensive or hard to find LOL
Well done!
You can also give them something that makes you happy…then watch them take it away from you!!
so funny! I've had this happen negatively but now….look out!
I did this with my mother and with another N I suspected online. Both of them pulled it out the minute they needed it. That's how I knew for sure they were Ns.
That's a good test to determine if they are using the personal data against you. You can withhold information and or feed narcissists disinformation anytime you want. We don't owe them any respect. A former friend with "bipolar" knew I hated rap music and incrementally she brought low-class rap music and attitude into our friendship. It appeared to be very strategic and planned out gaslighting. There were several other situations just like that, too. I used the mirror technique and mirrored her strategy. I praised and cherished whatever she found to be annoying. LOL!