A narcissist believes that he possesses a great sense of rhythm and humor. This lack of self-awareness is typical of the narcissist. Visit HealthyPlace for in-depth …
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Narcissist Embarrassment
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I don't like seeing recommendations that people "find god" when facing Narcissistic abuse. By all means find god once you are better but exchanging one "omnipotent deity" for another doesn't seem the right thing to do in this case. Fix your reality before choosing to believe in gods and magic again. It just seems like a terrible transition to me. Especially as the Narc has likely used god as a weapon against you as mine did. Thus— Going straight to god is not a clean slate.
"My" Narcissist created a reality for me that is opposite of my actions and desires. In his attempt to convince me I am mentally ill (at best), he turned to his flying monkeys that came to know me. Even his buddy that doesn't like me declined to confirm the imagined reality. Thus, we are all conspiring together against him. Sadly, after enduring this several years, he insists upon retaining this injury upon him from me and from his pals. I'm thinking he viewed us all as negative or low-quality supply as he has become a full-blown meth addict and this makes for a good story to bedazzle his new, unsuspecting sources of supply. He's basically chosen to kill off everyone expecting anything of him. No doubt, once his money runs out, he'll have found himself a successful female meth dealer to keep him supplied in drug and an ever-evolving door of addicts.
Just another diatribe of Sam self reflecting on his pathetic twatery, god how depressing.
If you are still working on this topic I'd love to understand the project better and ask you questions about it.
I think people often mistake narcissism for selfishness or arrogance and its hard for people to see the narcissist in me, that I fight all the time.
Because of the struggle, and the way I hide from people who I could lie to, manipulate, hurt. I'm looking forward to looking at these as a way to better myself while I work through my issues.
For well over a year now I have researched & researched. I discovered my husband is a classic case that has 100% of the traits that a diagnosed Narcissistic Person has.
I shutter when I read that the only bit of advice/information I have come across while researching this through countless article's, youtube video's, google, yahoo, the web u name it every bit of advice tells the person that's involved with a narcissist is to turn & run leave them. I have read that narcissist aren't even human, their evil, people that should be banished from our lives. All the studies will tell u that narcissist weren't born this way. It was their caregivers that neglected them as young kids at the age when children develop human compassion, empathy & right from wrong. These people (narcissist) didn't asked to be abused they coped with it the only way they knew how & that was to develop a false self. I'm not down playing the cruelty & the pain they can inflict on another person believe me I know 1st hand what that devestating cruelty is like. I have been victimized for 17 years now broken wrist, driven to insanity, tempted suicide twice because of the cruel mind games he played on me. Making me believe i wasn't any good that I was crazy, depression over & over again.
Knowing all along something was wrong with our relationship but when I would try to verbalize what it was that was wrong I didn't have the words or know how to put it into words. It wasn't until my brother in law & his wife was over at our home for a barbecue that I finally realized what it was that he was doing to me. He had messed something up then screamed at me for being in his way when I was nowhere near him. It was the look on his brother & wifes faces that made a light bulb go off in my head & made me realize what he had done was wrong. I got really upset with him that night. And from that point on I would bring it to his attention & confront him the very second anything of the sort would happen after that. I was constantly making him aware of those types of things. It has helped tremendously and now when it happens he now will catch himself & not got there.
I hit the internet after that, I even started keeping a diary of all of our interactions. And Now that I've educated myself I've noticed whenever he would do something that would upset me, even thow he knew dang well what it was that upset me he would always try & get me to verbalize what, how & why I was upset. Now that I realize that he is getting his narc supply from hearing about my pain now wheen he wants me te tell him I tell him no that he knows why.
I haven't told him that he is a narcissist & I don't know if I should. I do know that when I bring his bad habits to light & explain in depth to him why he should or shouldn't do things a certain way he stops. In order to get him to see his way of thinking is wrong it takes using real life scenarios in order for him to really see it's wrong. What I do is wait for a scenario to come up & I will write him a long letter asking him how something made him fell & how that what he is doing makes others feel. He then grasp what it is that I've been trying to tell him all along. He learns from the show me aspect rather than just saying something about it to him.
We've been together for over 17 yrs & I am 17 yrs older than him we have had our ups & downs way more than than the normal couple would. We've dealt with more than our fair share of problems anything & everything from porn addiction to infidelity, from verbal abuse to physical abuse. Being married to a Narcissist is one of the hardest things a person can do. My nerves & the stress from being married to & dealing with a narcissist has taken it's toll on me physically & mentally. Even though we will never be rid of the side affects of his narcissism I do feel our relationship is in a much better place now than it has ever been. I just wish that I had known about narcissism years before now. I feel that we need to get the word out & make people aware of this so that spouses won't have to suffer for years as I have done.
I don't think of my narc as being evil or someone I should turn & run away from, or discard him like he is less than human. I do know now that I'm aware of his problem I have been able to stop most of the bad behavior. His grandmother verbally abused him always glorifying his twin over him that's why he is a narcissist. I know he loves me & i did promise god that I would see this marriage through the tough times as well as the good times.
Am I only fooling myself am I only setting myself up for discard.
We've been together for over 17 yrs
Confronted with any kind of justified criticism the Narcissist is always surprised at first and might actually undergo a process of what appears to be introspection, lacking the ability of self-criticism, what he actually does is looking for excuses and justifications of why he, but nobody else is entitled to such and such, or why he is right even if he can't be more wrong objectively etc.
Sam does mention the all-powerfull, all-knowing, god like state of mind of the Narcissist. At first I thought it to be a metaphor after all nobody can truly believe to be infallible, always right, perfect, all deserving, but I guess one should really think of it in literal terms. It does help to understand that the Narcissist really believes all the lies he tells himself, he does think all his decisions/actions to be right and just, any information to the contrary is simply ignored by the narcissist, especially when confronted with undeniable facts of wrongdoing the typical reaction of the Narcissist is rage ("killing the messenger").
Ironically the Narcissist tends to criticise others precisely on the very shortcomings, faults and weaknesses he presents himself, he might tell you how he values honesty in people, that he despises deceit and manipulation, how he hates those who have been lying to him in the past, yet at the same time he is biggest compulsive liar on planet earth!
I am hopeful to find data, studies, ethical and solid facts regarding: the variances of the Narcissistic Personality/Behaviors. I have the education, degrees, professional application in related fields, and a sister that is a Narcissist – though – seems to have desires, at intervals, to try to improve upon some of her behaviors.
This reaches my emotions – as I so know why she developed these traits. I will not presume to feel superior as a sibbling because I developed OCD and Overachieving behaviors/personality. My perceived strengths are too often a miserable way to please – what can not, nor no longer exists, of parents – I am thankful I have had the education, relatively good realistic self judgment of my own behaviors and do not seek to judge others – to the extent society does – without consideration of the "Why"?
If you or others have the time and appropriate reference information regarding "The Variance of Personalities that may Appropriately be Considered Under the Category of a Narcissist" and any relative information as to if/how they can be helped/ help themselves/and how to best appropriately interact with them – for both our best interest – please reply.
My sister does not posess the education, strength and commitment of this – brave man.
Thank you – and thanks for this insight.
Rafal Mazus he knows well, what he is talking about. He is a narcissist himself, who is aware of he's condition and tries to live a normal life. I think, he is a good example, that a narcissist can do that, but it takes a lot of effort and honesty.
These symptoms have such severe consequences. It's absolutely unacceptable.
The treatises on children, women and this one, on embarrassment. Especially cognitively emotional. The sighs, the conflicts that are voiced. You are such a brave human being for doing these videos. It benefits greatly and gives insight to the mind of a person suffering from this interesting spectrum of human behaviour. .
This false self seems to mirror the concept of the Nafs in tasawuf. It makes me wonder if some of these unique psychological concepts are sufficient derivatives?
Yo, professor! There is no way you could ever be a narcissist, you ain't that pretty. And your accent stinks. Leave narcissism to those who can afford it. What the hell do you know about reality. Go take a valium. Fool!
adolf hitler!
WOW, exactly like I am. But you have moved on. What did he do then, if you don't mind my asking.
I would like to ask you ,are you a M.D., a psychiatrist, psycholgist, or what? I am trying to use critical thinking before I just believe a U-Tube video, though you seem knowledgeable. What are your credentials?
your missing the point. one of them has just ripped my heart and sanity apart.
when I first found these vids, I was overwhelmed thinking I am with a N. But I'm finding out it's actually most likely emotional detachment (in counselling). He has bad N traits, but now after seeing and digesting alot of these vids, I can deal with it soooo much better. It is easy to take their power away once you begin to understand it all.
These people leaving comments (most) are just the kind of weak victims we are looking for. What ding bats .
They are spectacularly stupid sometimes, because of their lack of self awareness, and their arrogant belief that they are smarter than everyone else. It is hard not to feel sorry for them – how (and why) the hell did they develop such an impenetrable defence mechanism???
GOOD FOR YOU!!! THEY ARE HARD TO GET AWAY FROM MENTALLY…
they loooooove to feel sorry for themselves even more than they looove to feel superior. it is so SAD
hoorah! another one I havent been blocked from!! verbose verbose verbose…
yeah – all that lovely, wonderful, excellent, fabulous self pity yum yum, they gobble it up like pigs snorting leftovers… poor me,poor me, poor me they think- the only abusers in the world who think that they are the victims. Genius.
If you have a small penis you should be willing to share your wife with other better endowed men so as to please her. A happy wife makes a happy husband, guaranteed. That way also you don't face her with the difficult decision of leaving you for such an easily mended problem. I actually like watching my wife get fucked by other men its hot and keeps our sex life interesting.
He participated in that documentary willingly. Its not a secret.
These " Freak Show Clowns" are quite comical with the buffoonish behavior, sometimes I have to walk away to keep from laughing in their faces. The narcissist in my house called 911 and said "…PLEASE SEND THE POLICE BECAUSE… MY WIFE WON'T LISTEN TO ME…".Lol…True story!!! You can't make this stuff up.
i've noticed very much how they think they are being witty and clever, but … hello, is anybody home ?!??
one of the dumbest things mine ever said, when i was exposing a super-lie about his openness to marriage, and his subsequent cruelty on such, was "well it''s the difference between the idea and reality", snickering like a petulant child !!
he couldn't have described himself any better !!
i completely ignored that and went on to question his grip on reality, freeing myself in the process
Spot on Sam, but one would like to think that their inability to authentically reason would keep them out of contemporary health fields, that certain areas of education would demand so much critical thinking and self-reflection over several years that it would be too much 😉 What do you think ?
Ns do seem really stupid once the initial charm phase (hook) drops into the retention stage, sometimes expressly stating that their difficulties are a result of their specialness. Bizarre !! :)))
The family learnt that the only way they could avoide the narcissistic rage and wierd behaviour of self destruction was to help him establish routines and also tell him what to do, like an infant at school. In this way his stress of self scrutiny was avoided. In fact he seems to enjoy being told when to eat, when to shower and where to sit and when to talk. His self denial is so complete, i truely believe he and his mother do not feel physical pain. Oh yes..he hit bottom when she died.
One Narc i know is in the self destruct mode. i took his 25 year old estranged son to see him. The flat had all windows broken and there was blood everywhere. he came to the door with his ear half bitten off and blood still wet and warm on his face and clothing.
His first words were.."Ahh, i see you are driving a Toyota now". He avoided self scrutiny to the point of an inch from death. His son had the wisdom to manage the situation by talking to him as if he was a seven year old kid./next mes
"He is intimate only with his False Self."
Worth repeating.
the funniest thing my ex narcissist ever did was, after I had refused to lend him money for the nth time, he said, "well that's the last time I will ever ask YOU for anything!" – as if he was doing me a favour by allowing poor pathetic humble me (who was solvent) to "lend" him- bankrupt genius as he thought himself – money!! He thought it was witty, but he was just vindictive
The world has seven billion people and they don't give a rat's arse about you. IN many cases all people have are the family. Don't fuck over the family. If you are with your husband and you have to not fuck the guy over. Like screwing around on him and stealing his money and talking shit. If it isn't working then get away. Nothing worse than a woman isn't satisfied with her husband's penis. Then goes and screws other men. A guy just shot his wife recently for this. Just one less skank around.
I'd wondered the same thing. They don't make peace with their real self because they don't have one! And that is really how they fool everyone for so long. No matter how intelligent, sensitive, blah blah blah (even with the BS too) . . . . . there is nothing there. For them, there can NEVER be a better self 🙁
"Unfortunately", there are "psychopaths" out there in positions of power or service work that enjoy making victims of narcissistic people. It is sadly easy to predict them and set them up for their own failures by never letting them know that you see 10 steps ahead of them and what they will do. If one is not careful it can become enjoyable . Still, it is sick and could be dangerous. Never lose your footing when you are forced to service these people.
mine was so corny and thought he was very clever. his ego was the only think he cared about and at the end i told him i was glad he was humiliated by his out-of-control children. he was furious at that, but i knew he would never change, grow up, or try to be an adult with his kids unless his ego was affected. nothing else worked ~ ever. he created all his own problems but could never see that or admit it, and REFUSED to put himself in another's shoes EVER, or was UNABLE. Can't believe he CAN'T.
wouldn't that be awesome? i have prayed my ex would get struck by lightning and be ok…
wow, soooo familiar. my now-ex is a worse mess than ever…
@czeso1 kkkkkk Did he touch where it hurts. I guess you are a narcissist.
DEAR SAM
You are basically saying that narcisists are the evil of the world. And other thing you are on the witch hunt, in the society of this time you are helping other people to hunt down and abuse other people, if someone week they will have no mercy on him. Im sorry but your opinions are very hurting and dangerous. I hope that you know what are you talking about and i wish you to be in the position of an narcissist then you will say something different.