should you take a narcissist back http://www.menwhoareabused.com Today’s video deals with the topic of wether a person should take back a toxic person back …
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Should you take a Narcissist back ?
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June 14, 2016.Silly me, I really thought that I could change my Narc. With all the informations I received over the pass few months. For some reason something deep down inside says that I can sit down with my ex(Narc) and reason with this person, for the sake of our family. This was one of the biggest mistake I ever made in my life. I walked away from the Narc feeling more like crap, my Narc shit all over our conversation, and wipe my face in it, no empathy what so ever. And now I feel like I just hit the reset button on my progress. How could I be so stupid and naive after watching all these videos and doing a lot of researches. Please I'm begging you, whatever you do just let it go and move on, it's just not worth it.
Sorry is just a word to the nacassist, not a feeling.
No, the only thing you will get is the covert backlash for leaving them in the first place. You can NEVER know what they are thinking and they hold many, many grudges against you. You can never be sorry enough, you will never be ablse to satisfy their hurt.
Most narcissists are male..not female. Females may have emotional issues due to Celiac which affects hormones. I know only one female narcissist who traps men with sex and them changes. She means well, but doesn't see her own sickness and part in the situation. The average female maybe emotiona; which is just "normal" for females and Celiac may make it worse. Just find a healthy person to be with.
Huge Liars they are. Fake Crying and the whole bit
The answer is NO.
Thank you James. I think God has used you to help me. I have left my NPD husband. I didn't want to make a hasty decision but cannot go back to this toxic relationship. This video was a blessing.
I absolutely love James' advice and knowledge.
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mine did that ten times over and over thirty years, lots of pain, lots of money, do not take them back! no matter how much you loved, remember it was LOVED! not love, they do not love to do what they did too us, let the healing begin and continue,i am 54 and life is learning about me now and how to be me, who i am, and my needs for once, and darn after four months of hurting bad that felt good too say that, tc, stay safe!<- huge one and God be with and bless you all xo
you just make a lot of sense on all of your videos
This happens to women as well. Lies , sweetie pie personality then Jekyll & Hyde.
a nightmare to have been with one.
my thoughts & opinions.
YES they do lie and lie and dont care if you die ,, They do know what there doing if they can manipulate in the ways they do then you need to be sure that they choose to do what they do , It is a choice and they do choose, The abuser always tares down mentally and physically , financially ,morally in any way they can to discredit there victim so there victim can't tell on them ,, its done automatically to cover the tracks of evading and avoiding taking responsibility for there wrong doings
Thank you James for your Genius work and knowledge that you share , You are a true Brother of mankind , Your videos have quite frankly saved my life . your work is very important and valuable . Thank you Brother so Much ,, Mark Kunick
Dumb the rotten no good used to be human !!!
Never take them back – NEVER!! I took my narc back about 4 times and things just got worse n worse, the LIES!! the smear campaigns, the drama, now she wants to come back AGAIN!! She stalks, she sends people with messages – But this time I have YOUTUBE!! (Thank GOD for youtube!!) Now I understand what has really been going on – the only way to deal with these people is to go NO CONTACT for ever – with the narc out of my life I am healing – I can enjoy the sunshine again
you have to believe your gut very much so the gut is your saviour
never take them back no way
cheating on you is the main thing they like to do to crush u
30 YEARS OF TWO NARCISSIST S….now i see ….i put on the sun glasses…so to speak….i tried….how would James know all these details if the narc. did not exist…? he wouldn't…..what a nightmare come true…follow the10 commandments and you wont make mistakes no matter how sweet they [ the narc. ] talk…the walking dead comes to mind.God help them..
good job, thank you
no way indeed should one take a Narc. back! They will suck your blood until the well in dry…again.
i think personally its your choice..whether you want him/her back or not
Don't let those losers in your head.
They can't take away your light.
Summon your inner MC Hammer, "Why you still standing there man? I told you homeboy. You can't touch this."
I have tried to access the website, but am unable to view it. I want to say 'thank you' to James for making these videos. I'm not a man, but nearly all of this advice applies to narcs of either gender. I'm in my 3rd year since I filed for divorce, after being under the influence of a narc since 1995. I went into therapy immediately once I discovered he was having an affair (with a 'friend'). My story is too long for a YouTube comment, and that's not what I'm here to do. People need to know that these people are real, how to recognize them, how to extract themselves from relationships with them once entangled and how to repair the damage caused by one (or several) of these people in your life. Because the narc's real personality, actual motive, and the damage they cause to those who get close to them is so sinister that it is unfathomable to the vast majority of people that it takes a lot of 'knowledge' to get the victim's 'head around it'. The time a victim gets to spend with a therapist is limited for obvious reasons, so these videos – all – BeGood4000, SamVaknin, SpartanLifeCoach, DayLightOutofDarkness – and others are enormously helpful here on YouTube. James is right, Knowledge IS Power! Educate yourself – it is not the same thing as 'wallowing in victimdom' – if you have been in a close relationship with a narc, you are at least extremely disoriented and personally/socially deeply damaged, and at worst in imminent danger. Once you understand 'them', you will begin to know how to protect yourself and loved ones in the present, and you should move on to learn how to avoid becoming entangled with a narc in your future – why they are looking for you – why you are vulnerable – how to stop both and heal so you can have the happy life/love you deserve.
Amen brotha!!!!! My ex narcissist called me a few days ago and I DID NOT ANSWER!!! This vid is confirmation. Thax
Why do you hide your identity?My heart tells me that there is deception going on here and that is why you are not revealing your identity.I know alot of people who gave a second chance and it paid off.What people like you dont know is these are behavior patterns that human beings display.Any competent real expert in the field will tell you that defining personality disorders in terms of absolutes is not only wrong but also miss understands the point of these labels in the first place.Primarily they are merely indicators of an increased chance of more serious mental illnesses such as schizophrenia.I understand that people get alot of views on youtube with subjects like this but if you dont actually have a docterate in phycology you shouldnt be spewing out bad info and scareing people.
Can I just say that NPD afflicted people are the embodiment of evil? I have been through some crap, but this is something special. My life and everything I have done for 2 decades… stolen. The lies. The invalidation. The horror shows of the narcissistic rages. The affairs. The addictions. The cold verbal and physical abuse. The full frontal assaults. All the lies. Did I mention the lies? The anguish of it all. And in the end it was all a show. Just a dream world created for you, by them, for their amusement, to fill their need for attention. Wow. 10 months out of an 8 year relationship. I'm healing. Learned everything about the Narc and Borderline experience… and I'm still like wow. It will be years before I recover financially, and I don't know if the psychological effects will ever be completely relieved. Huge hug and much love and sympathy for anyone who is coping with recovery from narcissistic abuse.
Take 'em back where you found them.
I have just had my life almost destroyed. Everything that has happened fits the exact profile like she was following a script. I feel crazy telling people because nobody believes me. everything was calculated as she manipulated me and my life to become completely dependant on her. where my life was and where it is now is so hard to accept and move on from. There is no law against people doing this. It Destroys lives and kills people. Its Fucked!
i have been so mindfucked by a narc. in the beginning they seem too good to b true. then the neediness kicks in. then excessive calling. eventually they give u the silent treatment and u r left wondering what u did. u eventually get left behind and u feel crushed. u wonder what happened to the person they used to b. they have no empathy. and they always come back. but they never stay long. they just want their ego stroked. every 3 months for me. when they come back they can give u false hope of starting over. u will think things are going well then all of a sudden they disappear. it is the dance that never ends. when they leave u they take ur world away because u were so sure this was the one in a million. ur wrong. b strong. go thru ur withdrawals. remember they were artificially sweet. and dont live in a memory
Wow, that part about them lying in wait… "Let's get back together" while plotting their revenge on you leaving (thus outing them to your circle and theirs) in the first place.
Imagine, another dose of what drove you to leave them originally. But the new dose is stronger. Instead of imagining a tender reunion, I'm going to imagine that.
Great video. I would add one item for those who feel odd about this in regards to religion ("But I was told to forgive others. I was told to love everyone.") To these people I would say you can forgive and even love a narcissist — and the very best way to do so is to STAY AWAY from them. The most loving thing you can do for yourself and for the narcissist is to not take them back. By taking them back you are only enabling their illness.
You need to understand the motive or game plan of a narcissist. A narcissist is like a bur. So long as they can keep a tentacle attached to your psyche, you are obligated b to expend energy to let them further back into your life or to try and push them away. You must have more energy and determination than them. Trust your instincts. If you find yourself second guessing over and over again, you will only get weaker. So long as they continue to remain in your psyche, they win.
What if the NPD is your parent?
You are so right James….right on !
Greg Bernstein: I was thank God dumped by my ex-wife narc. For thoughs of you who remember the old show Twilight Zone by Rod Sterling, my "mirage" of 14 years was from the Twilight Zone.
Wel,well,after 40years I know understand what has been happening. I personally have come in contact with hundreds…and most are of the Female persuasion?? I recommend all of these video`s…a lot can be learnt from all of them…well done James for attempting to educate society….`Narcisist`s` are lowest form of life..so be warned?
a stopped watch is right twice a day