gentlekindnesscoaching.com Taking revenge on a narcissistic boss or supervisor is not something I would suggest. In this video I offer 5 reasons why you could …
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Taking Revenge on a Narcissist / Narcissistic Boss at Work
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My story: I and another employee believed that a third employee (let's call her Donna) was violating our company's Code of Conduct. So, I gathered some evidence (as is specifically described in the Code of Conduct), and presented it to both HR and also to the Manager to whom Donna reported. Little did I know, the married manager was 'in love' with Donna, also married. So, I ended up getting an "oral reminder" and was told that I had violated the code of conduct by essentially harassing the second employee and myself…they claimed, in effect, that I harassed myself!! I was later put on a Performance Improvement Plan due to both my own NPD supervisor and the sociopath Manager, an evil vicious lowlife, based on absolutely zero facts. None. I even had an email from a different department manager expressly proving that one item in particular was completely misconstrued. I was not able to use that. My ONLY option was to suck it up and go on the PIP. So, I decided to use a recording device and per state law, revealed my using it. That was a Company Policy violation (about which I was completely unaware) – and I was 'sent home to think about it' – basically one step away from being fired. I decided to come back and feign remorse, because I decided that instead of leaving with my tail between my legs, I would suck every damn dime out of them I could (having carried over enough vacation to equal 7 weeks worth in 2016) and leave with my head held high. The PIP is over, my supervisor is pretending to be my friend while picking on a co-worker (I don't fall for it, but I play along), and the married manager with the hots for Donna? He's been promoted. The parts that have really grieved me: (1) HR did nothing to support me at all; and they are who we are told to go to anytime we have issues (NEVER AGAIN), (2) a second employee program did nothing to support me, and basically said, "just do as your told" (3) Our Code of Conduct specifically states that retaliation will not be tolerated and could subject the offending party to discipline or termination….then, they PROMOTE the SOB! It's really systemic, and I would venture to say, pandemic. (4) this experience has taught me to never go above and beyond, never offer innovative ideas, never challenge management, and sure-as-shit NEVER report a suspected Code of Conduct violation…and to just show up and collect my paycheck, something that is outside of my normal personality. I'm still there, looking to move out of the company or to another department. I will not use my current supervisor as a reference. Just biding my time. and playing the game.
Quite right. Love Show Boundaries' videos.
You might find this quite interesting. It's four narcs and one "non" discussing the subject of a narcissist nurse:
http://www.psychforums.com/narcissistic-personality/topic115149.html
they put out all the works to get rid of you, I to have seen the shit and experienced first hand all of it
The Health Care Industry is freaken INFESTED with The Parasitic Narcissists and it is true they hate Empathic People and can spot us a mile away, if families only knew what kinds of evil lurks behind the walls of many of those places
Thank you xx
This was VERY helpful. You actually provided good advice. Thank you.
After my discard, I had a therapist tell me that most work environments are toxic cess pools. I am beginning to see this is true. Bullies and their minions create an environment that encourages their particular brand of crazy. Sane people would just get away. I feel like I am trapped in a loop.
Very informative video.
It's really sad there are people like this. I mean its terrible. Its embarrassing to not only them but also to everyone else. Most people that are mature enough to deal with these types of people just feel sorry for them and let them continue to do their thang. I mean really if you think about it if ur trying to beat them at their own game yeah you will never win and even if you do what good is that? What good can come from it? More good comes out of just accepting these people as who they are. Yes they try to step on you but let em! Turn the other cheek thats what the bible teaches us. Turn the other cheek and if you dont wanna do that, then stand up for yourself! Let the narcissist know you gunna let them be who they gunna be, but yo ass better let me be me too or you gunna get yours one way or another. Karma will get them eventually. Karma is the universes way of balancing everything out no matter what your all personalities are. So stay strong and be you. When you believe in urself it dont matter how many years or what ever long you been dealin with crap like this. You gunna make it! Either way. Sometimes they need a good smackin up side they heads to slow their game down. Cuz aint nobody like no narcissists.
This is great advice.
HR is not your friend though…
Hello! (I love your videos, by the way), and this one in particular really touched me because I can relate to everything you said. It seems as thought inverted and "regular" narcissists really suffer from a lot of envy of kind, nurturing, and loving people such as yourself–namely, empaths. Maybe, it's because they are missing that "chip" and they try to destroy what they cannot have/possess. However, work situations get REALLY bad when the people in HR are narcissists, (now THAT'S a nightmare)! 🙁 It seems that since the economy is so bad now and because good jobs are scarce, narcissism has increased in general–but especially, in the work place. Great video–and it would be cool if you could duplicate this topic when it comes to romantic love/partner relationships. I would like to hear what you have to say about "taking revenge" on an ex-boyfriend/lover/spouse, etc. Many people try to do that, but I think going no contact is the best and ONLY real solution to the problem, myself. Thank you! :)
It is extremely worrying that this type of thing happens in nursing homes around such a vulnerable group in society. I really hope that people have the conviction to speak up against evil on each count and not let evil perpetuate in this world. It really is up to us. But i know how difficult it is with such a tangled mess that is employment.
That is my regret. I have experienced N bosses in the workplace. The environment becomes a toxic & terrifying place, especially for sensitive types. There were so many who knew what she was like but i don't know if anyone ever spoke out about her to HR…. Her rot had infested for 7yrs while the entire team would regularly replenish, our stories dying with us each time we left.
People advise not to 'burn bridges' with companies and there's always the looming blackmail of the reference that keeps us in check. Companies are wired in a way that harbours corruption, so easily. We get appraised but we don't get to appraise the manager! And you can be sure that a narc manager has a narc boss.
Looking back on it, i never should have hung around, i wish i could have made friction, called her out every time & to every one, especially HR, so that more people could have joined the dots.
Its a nightmare. This does go on, even without wanting to seek revenge they can attempt to ruin your life. Great video, thankyou.
no such thing as revenge on narc cause this half is not a narc however much they wana make us feel it is our fault lol
Yes…I have experienced N many times dating/job/health etc. Yes…they said if this person (Narcissistic person) will not help you why should I? Yes…I can't make it work with them. Avoiding them is the only way I can deal with them. I wanted to learn how to interact better with them.
Yes this does happen. 4 & 1/2 years I worked under a Narcissist. As much as i tried to keep my job..No matter what I did, I was no match. I had to leave my job, but, I still have the emotional scars from the experience.
My ex-mother in law is a very manipulative person she try to teach my 3 years old daughters that she was mammy her husband was daddy and I just was a person who they have refer to me by my name. I am a single father now and I am very afraid of loosing the custody over my twin daughters. The reason that I am afraid is because not only that this people have money but also they got completely against me when I decide to get away from them and take my daughters with me. My ex-mother in law she is the master of manipulation all her family give her all kinds of reverences and explanations. Unfortunately for me she has all my private information including my social security number and my daughters too. She is now manipulating my ex-wife/ her daughter who is mentally disable to get against me in every way. She had convinced her daughter to sue me in court to recuperate custody back and even though I won in court she still trying to intimidate me through her daughter. Her daughter was in the mental sector of the Raritan Bay Hospital due to her twice suicidal attempts, she safer from Bipolar, Post-traumatic stress, Post-partum depression and thyroid. My daughters and I were victims of domestic violence and I don't care what people said but yes men can be domestic violence victims too. There is a lot, a lot more than what I wrote here. I don't know what to do. Please help!!!This manipulator has siblings and relatives working in the gov.
Take photos/scans etc of receipts etc. too whenever possible. Use email, not verbal communication, to discuss a potentially tricky situation where you had trouble with them in the past. Don't wait until the situation unfolds like a slow car crash, prepare and pre-emptively prevent that from happening by giving a summary of the situation (this way you have it in writing and they can't deny you made it up afterwards in a diary) and copy in a superior if necessary. Never delete old emails, copy them onto a thumb drive.
You are suggesting giving in to these people. That's not the right thing to do.
This is how it is. I wish I heard this before. Worked in nursing homes for 20 years. You just can not believe the backstabbing that goes on. I understand the part about caring for the patients well they do not like it. Confusing work place and stress full. hope you can find me on google chat.
WOW! I can't believe how much this video resonates with me. I used to work in the health care field and I can relate with the hostile environment whenever the narc was around. You never know how low they will go. These people are ruthless and cruel. You can't beat them at their games, because we have a line that we would never think of crossing but they don't have that line at all; it just doesn't exist for them. I guess the only "line" for them would be is how much they can get away with without being caught and still look like the innocent one. I don't believe in revenge because I know what goes around comes around; it is just a matter of time.
14:45 – AS a footnote, if you keep a word doc or some other computer-based document to chronicle the abuse, make sure you send a copy of your updates from your workplace computer to a private email for retrieval later. This is just in case you are locked out of your workplace PC and cannot get to it. You do not want the workplace pc to be the only place where you store your evidence.
great video! xo this is a scary scary world. confirms my belief that packing up and moving to the woods to live in isolation is best course of action for me! lol…
really great points… documentation is so important. with the onset of all this technology I'll tell ya these narcissists have to be stepping up their game. I know that narcissistic mothers like my NM … Today …. they could never get away with all she did years ago. There's too much info out here and video is everywhere,… cameras, recorders, even pen and paper as you said. very important. This has to be brought out more… what you are talking about (nursing home abuse and assisted living abuse). terrible. It needs to be well known. I am sharing this on fb and I hope lots of others do also. Narcissists in the corporate place like a nursing home are so scary to both the residents and the workers. This needs to be exposed and stopped. People should need to take a personality test to weed out narcissists instead of to pull in psychopaths. I'll tell you what… these types all hate me also. In jobs I was a loyal hard working employee like you and had the same exact experience.