The silent treatment is “the act of ignoring and excluding a person or group by another person or group.” It is a passive-aggressive form of communication that …
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The Narcissist’s Silent Treatment
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Ahhhhhhh, this is happening to me now. I said something earlier to him about the relationship. I asked him a question as to why he had said something that really hurt me earlier. He jetted for the door and ever since its been quiet. I feel as though I'm being punished.
My Narsi would sleep with his back to me and act as if I wasn't there. He would lock himself in the room. He would ignore my calls.He reported my phone loss and changed the pass word so I couldn't use the phone when I "behaved" he turned it back on. I'm divorced now Thanks toThe Creator.
the silent treatment can take many forms. i had no idea this was abuse. i thought my narc men just needed alot time for themselves. my first narc was always gone, didn't work much, made me raise our kids alone while i worked. my second narc, i thought he had a computer addiction. he was always home, but never had much time for me or anything but the dang computer. this fooled me because they made me so hungry for their crumbs of non-existent love. i became happy to get anything. mind control. i am learning. i was abused and had not a clue. NO MORE NARCS!!!!
been leaving with my nacist..boyfriend for 2 years now..have seen it all abuse,cheating, and all that but still afraid to leave
My mother did this : "Mum, what did I do?" Answer: …………….(silence)! days would go by,, nothing.. I grew up thinking I was not worth even talking to.
I was "friends" with a narcissist and they'd engage in the silent treatment and "ghost" me for weeks and months on end. The longest was for 18 months. However, when I'd realize it was once again going on, I'd just feel exasperated with their behavior and then get angry that it was going on. Sort of how a parent feels when dealing with a sulky, petulant child who's pouting over ridiculous things on a constant basis. That's really my view of it- they're like sulky, pouting children and need to be in diapers and having a pacifier in their mouth. Adult babies suffering from arrested development and having tantrums. That's why I went no contact and will never allow them back even when they start coming around once again. There's no sense in being a "babysitter" for their issues and putting up with it- far better to find adult relationships/friendships without all the drama and nonsense because these "adult babies" will never grow up.
Oh my God…I've been a victim to this very thing!!!!
I don't need to belong much at all, or to receive recognition for things I do. When I do something, it's for myself, and my satisfaction is what counts. That's why I thrive as a loner. What I DO need is for people to stop being narcissistic assholes, but I'm not getting what I want. So I stay away from people, because almost everyone is a demon.
Unfortunately, in these cases, you can not confide because you have no trusted friend anymore.
My life with my mom and sister and brother. All were taught to viciously ignore me at home but in public be nice. I was successful and popular and no one knew about the chronic abuse at home. One time I was very ill with measles at 15 on Xmas day. No one wanted to help me and screamed at me that I just wanted to ruin Xmas. Finally I begged to go to hospital and finally they took me. I almost died. My Dad cared some and my mom helped me take a shower. My siblings never visited in a week in critical care. I was successful in school (very) but I was anorexic and bulimic in secret. It wasn't a looks thing. I think I did it to totally distract from the horrible abuse from everyone in my family. My brother killed himself body building steroids and back troucbel that led to oxycodone use— he was very successful financially and job wise but no family and had anger issues. FFFFFED up. Mom died last week after I limited her contact since Xmas. I feel like I killed her.
Thank you for your insight. I have Ben working on my self esteem, trying to build real self worth after my narcissistic mother stunted me as a young child. I was a nervous unhappy child. I always felt she had a sharp double edged sword (still do). I am 57 and she is going to turn 80 in august. I use to get down on myself, wondering why I wasn't able to get a grip on my childhood abuse and thought I had gotten over it BUT no I didn't and there it was again. Now I understand the massive effect it has had on me. I was 30 before I was introduced to the foreign language of how to be assertive……the victim role and guilt had been my language until then. They said I am creating my life. I thought why would I create this? Why would I want such confusion, chaos and unhappinesssl.? We moved 20 times from my second grade until high school. I attended 3 schools in one year in my fourth and eleventh grade. Just being the new girl all the time was trying on my nervous, fearful self. I literally did not have a conversation as a kid with my dominant mother or my passive father. Kids should be silent and not ever heard and I was. In my early twenties I realized how stunted I was because I was deathly afraid of being asked my opinion…..about a movie, a subject of anything, why you ask..because I did not have an opinion. Thank you for putting a name to narcissism because now I know the complete annihilation was really the goal. I did not even get into the fact I stayed detached for a long time and I thought I was making a pretty good decision on starting a relationship with this man. iT lasted just over 5 years and he was charming and engaging at first and then since he couldn't control me completely he then annihilated me. Thanks again for putting a name to this insidious problem.
I am currently dealing with this issue, narcist shunning, but I think I'm dealing with it well, there's a lot of patterns that can used, like secret codes in a video game, to break through the narcist no contact, but oh well I have no choice but to continue to deal with this, I'm glad I found something to help with this problem thanks
Gail, I am SO happy to see your level of dedication to this channel. On YouTube, the topic of N.P.D. wasn't even talked about just 5 short years ago. Now it's becoming one of thew fastest growing topics. It couldn't be happening a moment to soon either. I am thankful that you have taken your years of experience on the front lines of this disorder and are using it to help all of those out there (like myself) that thought they were all alone dealing with this nightmare. Educating the world about the affects of Narcissistic parent's is beyond important and I'm glad you feel the same. Keep up the good work!
This is so true and I have had the life long experience of being raised and living with this narcissist! I do not like to refer to myself as the victim but in deed am the scapegoat and I go silent for the reasons in this vid after I have been attacked verbally and NOW physically.
My mother who is a full blown narcissist pulls the silent treatment whenever she starts a war with me but I look at this as my PEACEFUL time whenever she doesn't talk.
*At present it has now been 2 months since she has uttered a word BUT just yesterday she found (what she thought)to be a new way to CONTROL. I was speaking to a friend over the phone and she picked up the phone and heard it was being used by me. After doing this about 3 times she then left the phone OPEN for about an hour+. Of course I had already hung up due to the fact her TV was so loud I couldn't hear my friend. *
* Through experience she has often after being silent for long periods of time usually starts another argument for attention but hasn't taken this course of action yet.*
Since I pay for half of the phone bill the next time she leaves the phone open I will have to remove the phone wires from her phone OR NOT give her my portion of the phone bill.
I have remained silent to her b/c I have NOTHING to say and IF I did speak she'll view it as weakness and start another battle.
I'm sorry but these people are evil, nasty human beings!
People still don't believe this is real. This form of behavior is real and it is damaging especially if you are not aware its happening to you. Imagine the silent treatment being performed and there are kids in the house. The person being silent gets the kids on their side because the person that wants to talk displays their frustration which makes them look like they're insane.
Thank you so much for this. The distinctions you make are seemingly subtle, but their not when you're living them. Because I've gone NC sometimes I wondered if I was being the narcissist. Since one of the favorite tools of my ex N, among others N's I knew, was to use the silent treatment as a means to control me, and I honestly feel like it was to get me to submit. Submit to what? Submit to their POV and just give into the reality they were creating for me (aka scapegoat). This made me feel a lot better. Thanks.
I received the silent treatment from some close family at my cousin's wedding this summer. Needless to say, it infuriated me and soured my view of those involved almost irreparably.
This is what he used to do.. good thing God is with me.
The Narcissist's #Silent #Treatment