Narcissistic Contagion, Professional Victims
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Yeah, blame the abused because s/he is no better than the abuser.. Fortunately that is not the fact. Most victims of narcicissts or sociopaths do not get infected by the abuser, and treating the abuser bad is the right thing to do, it comes natural, just as natural as treating non-abusive people friendly and compassionate.
Sam is right. For a short period of time, without even realizing it, I did the same thing – thinking I could somehow control my outrage. The only thing that happened was me acting out and ultimately hurting myself. Trying to turn the tables on a narcissist is fruitless (in my case anyway) because they are so skilled at splitting and twisting things, anything and everything I did, was turned back on me, and quite successfully, I might add.
So Narcissist are narcissist and victims are narcissist. I can't completely agree on that one. Everybody will react to abuse their own way and sometimes triumphantly as in the book "A child called it", which is such an account.
Take care to not injure victims by making them feel hopelessly ruined. The abuser does that enough. There is light at the end of the tunnel. And for those who do get hardened by abuse, they can draw on that strength to get away and get help. Peace Sam. You do so much. 🙂