Everything you Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse – click on this link: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq1.html The behaviour of the …
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Narcissist’s Routines
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My copy of your book is well used. I have read It twice, all favorite parts underlined. I cannot say enough good things about your book. This book should be in every home.
I see a lot of this in someone I dated recently, I felt traumatized in his presence and I was charmed by him and also felt great compassion but my intuition or inner ability to tolerate it further, overtook anything else going on. It tormented me that I may have misunderstood him or what I felt until I came across these descriptions but again.. Don't we search for what we can identify with so we make sense of it??
reminds me of Nietzche
Why does a narcissist imitate people? Example: he buys the same things that his friends have such as motorcycles, boats, houses, and imitate the behavior that his friends are displaying at a certain moment? Seems he adjusts to the friends
He is around, but it's an exaggerated response
one time my ex was looking for a pair of shoes in her wardrobe, thinking they had disappeared!! like the world had ended.. its OK she eventually found them..i did care..honest.
this confirms my past experience…my god..thank you for putting my mind at rest!
I'm very interested in your system people are saying you're not born with it your parents or peers make you like that butt how can their behavior make you feel no emotions like a robot I don't know if I believe that
This totally explains the reactions I'm getting from my dad right now. Thank you very much for your help.
Mr. Vaknin how much of this behavior, perceptions, attitudes is controlled, is realized by a narcissist? For example, when you want to leave them, they consciously put their "kind mask"? It's just a strategy to retake what "belongs" and to prove that they were right?!
I've observed and studied the behaviour of constant change in the narcissistic and despondent, and I think you stated something I've seen myself, that even if the narcissistic person, or the person who believes radical change within one's life is "random", "spontaneous", "wild", "out of control", it is, indeed, a very rigid, predetermined, thought out act for control, not the pretend loss of control they claim. The "living la vida loca" image is a cover for a life that is planned and controlled. Radical change within the person's life is indeed predictable, part of a pattern, and done with a specific goal in mind. Even the despondent who makes radical change does so in the attempt to regain control of life and the world. The giving up of something already held and secure in the name of loss of control and "winds of change" is paradoxically to gain security and control.
It's almost quite creepy how accurate this speaks of my mother's personality. Just now she showed me how she has these OCD like routines and behaviors. She said was unable to clean the bathroom floor unless I cleaned the bathtub first which is a rather odd thing to say to begin with. After that I told her not worry and that she could start cleaning the floor whenever she felt like it and that I promised I would clean out the tub after the floor dries. Then there was this long uncomfortable 10 second pause followed by this crazed look on her face (most likely suppressing anger, outrage and disgust). It was then also followed by her literally uttering the words "I have this system I go by and you're screwing it up. I'm sick and tired of doing everything around here!" 30 minutes went by and she said she's not cooking dinner tonight any longer. I'm guessing she did that to be passive aggressive and spiteful. Yet 2 hours prior to this incident she was bragging about what a great feast she was going to cook up. I'm just now starting to wonder just how bad of a meltdown was she having in that moment?
Very helpful!. Thank you.
Could someone rightly assume that Trump's behavior reflects this?
Wow this explains so much! I have an overt narc mother and a covert narc mother in law on steroids. I have never made the connection to the inexplicable aversion to change and need for repetition of behavior. My inlaws are completely consumed by the narc matriarch. Every time we have a family gathering I feel like I'm watching reruns of a script. The same safe conversations, laughing at jokes we've all heard a million times over. It's as if they are all reading from a script of safe subject matter. No substance at all. Thanks for your insight!
god. i saw the epic bastard in my ex husband very frquently and yet because i didnt know or understand this disorder i put up with it for years.ex: he was frequently obnoxious for no reason at all and i would also notice he took slights when there was no slight at all. i was always benign but he was frequently ill tempered and depressed. he had hypochondria and would constantly think he was ill. his body language is like a strutting pigeon. his back is straight and chest puffed out and the arrogance in him is very apparent. all our neighbours had a dislike to him and yet still i believed in his false self. he often came right out and said i didnt really know him and yet we were married for twelve years. i became micro managed and could not even go shopping because of incessant calls. he was very violent at times and others like a mouldering volcano. he used a piercing gaze to threaten us with and although he became less violent in his thirties we still had awful rows where he would humiliate and degrade me to exploding point. he hit his son to punish me and that would escalate to me defending the child and the child begging me to stop as it would make it worse. i stopped paying him any attention as he showed no interest in anything i said regardless of the content. he broke boundaries consistently and he would sneak up quite frequently or he watched me in mirrors. ive endured the worst suffering of my life since he left for a very cheap woman who is antisocial to the extreme. this woman worked for police but set a man up for sexual harrassment and lost him his job. the police working there absolutely warned me she was very dangerous. her previous partner also was set up and driven far from his kids and both snatched my son after i allowed contact for a year. he absolutely controls his son and will not allow him to return to see his mother despite knowing i love my child and have never neglected him. they gaslit me with every authority figure imaginable to trash my reputation. social work.police and they tried to leave me financially destitute as well as taking my son who is only twelve. abuse is at an all time high and they set me up by appearing to return my son. he had no intention of doing so and i realised immediately it was to show off how confused the child was and he has actively brainwashed him against me for no reason. i have full parental rights but as the child has been turned and manipulated he had chosen the narcissist. i was used for a visa as he is colombian and for years he had all my bank cards and resources yet as soon as the paperwork needed to work came he left immediately for this other psychopathic woman. they were living together and posting pics everywhere as his family yet in reality his true long term family were my son and i. this man had me put in prison for striking back after months of lying and abuses of my son and i.
i wanted the child to be stable and have both parents but his agenda was to frame me as crazy and take him despite full knowledge i have of his identity thefts. a stolen passport to enter britain defrauding two banks which have his passport photocopied in their logs ie his photo on another man aitor crespo antunezs passport. he defrauded customs and exise by getting a ni number for work.he has numerous debts in that name he didnt pay and yet even with this threat of deportation and/or prison he is still harassing me and most painfully taken my only child and its xmas. i am dreading xmas and blocking it out as he has taken everything of value i ever had.
on a more positive note i am no longer reclusing with no friends like i was when he was here but he seems to appear at just the right time i go to meet my friend group. i have a strong suspicion he is tracking me online with fake accounts. i write almost articles of commentary on various videos and ive notice certain pieces of work which seem to corelate to my life is appearing on google. ie i wrote on a hitchens video and quoted " if you dont know im your enemy then you dont know one when you see one" another trifling reply came after id facebooked about a date. the quote was" never do the fake economy of dating ugly nice guys as there is always a bitter twisted pig mouldering just beneath the surface". it would sound like i was crazy to say this to anyone. one account was a woman with a red dress and just her full lips. i too have a full mouth and i wear red lipstick and clothing. it was called hey darling and it had one follower ME. also the entire page was in his language. he walks around the places i go and im starting to think he watches me as i went to my mothers and was sure i saw his car. its all very secritive. im at a loss as he said he wants this woman whom he imptegnated within months of meeting so i let him go and ignore him totally. for the first time in years i have presents from friends and to my surprise someone said i was popular there in my social coffee shop. ive gone no contact even though he has my son. i intend to go to civil court for my rights as a mother and he said he would enjoy it despite the fact it will be hard on his son. i dont understand why he is angry with me as i have never done a thing to harm him and i let him leave calmly by closing the door of the room i was in as he made a huge scene moving out. he has become full blown psychopath now and its relentless. what does he want? Im ignoring him total no contact yet i still dont feel safe. i made friends quickly and easily as i am empathic to others and i have self confidence now as i have lost a lot of weight and i steadily increased my clothes and makeup so i look much prettier than when he would dress me. i was never allowed knee high boots or any kind of heel. i now enjoy waking showering and dressing well and wearing makeup again. i go to the beauty salon and have my nails and other cosmetic enhancements which i could not afford before. im getting better and more confident every day. ive been propositioned by a few men now so im moving on. i feel happy and getting my balance and then its another attack.how long does this last in general as i notice the behavioural traits are almost identical in most narcissists? i think no contact has to be done as my mental health is challenging and the ambient abuse is scary on my own. he sent police four times in two days for no reason other than i wasnt putting up with call after call in one evening to my son as we couldnt have peace. i let him speak to my son about five times then i let daniel tell him he was fine then switched it off. police found me competent four times and my son told them he wanted to see us all. the very next day he took him and didnt return him. now letters from his lawyer to mine say the child doesnt want me. i have never had this problem with my son his entire life so i know its his mind games. does anyone have any suggestions as to how to deal with this? he is openly abusive now and i see him deploying every weapon against me. what now???
the narcissist defence mecanism are routines … fabulous yes …
fabulous ….
So if narcissists are "junkies", addicted to their behaviour in terms of psychological survival, does their "addiction" have a physiological base as well (like dopamine with sexual or internet addiction)? Do they drug themselves with this behaviour?
Sheldon Cooper syndrome.
How can you see the difference between autism and narcism ?i have autism and i live by routines
Like it or not many of these traits describe myself. How do I change because I recognize that I am doing many of these behaviors.
this is so accurate
Which my 'Narc' roomie, he is extremely concerned with his 'body functions' and makes it a ridged point to go the exact amount every single day. If that doesn't happen on a 'reg schedule, he gets VERY upset. Not good…
Im very insecure and even scored a 1 on a narcissist test but i don't really have empathy for others, i just think im spoiled and selfish, i think this contradicts my narc score
Sam Vaknin, I would like to ask if a narcissist can seem very close to his family (parents, brothers and sisters? Actually praising them, but being financially well off and allowing them to live in squalor. If they can seem to have lots of friends who are really only acquaintances. Seem very religious? But display almost all of the other traits that you describe?
Dr. Sam i just wnt to say that all the info and videos regarding narcissists yours is the most informative and its like ur telling my experience i had with a narc althou i dont you. Hope to learn frm u more.
I have to train with a narcissist in boxing gym cause they train with the same coach as me..it's effecting my life..is there any way to make a narcissist leave you alone or intimidate em to leave u alone if your already being targeted by 1 you have to be around.
After a relationship with a Narcissist (who also suffers with combat-induced PTSD), I am providing last-resort, static supply to my Narcissist. He is always now with me "the Tonus." Not sure why I bother, except that I'm most like an inverted myself, so I feed off the technicolor.
But my question is how does the Tonus Narcissist regard those of us in his life who see him for what he is? I make no bones about it; I reference the harem, his supply, and his rage. I am surprised he tolerates my bluntness.
Why are other people trying to break the narcissistic guys barriers? If they dont want social interaction its their business. The real question is why the hell youre so interested in a narcissistic persons business. Unless hes a psychopathic killer or something
Is it possible that a narcissist would rebel against stereotypical ideologies and find narc supply in that? I believe my grandmother may be a narcissist. She plays the perfect mother, perfect wife, perfect victim. She doesn't believe women should be working (I'm guessing because she was a stay at home mother) and the economy is failing because women are now working full time. Also very racist, and homophobic. Her views are unalterable and there's no point arguing. I deal with her by agreeing and keeping quiet. I don't know if it's narcissism or just old age, but she is kind of an asshole.
My mother is proud of the fact that she is the opposite of my grandmother. She takes pride in being feral, having a house that isn't perfect, but at the same time has many other narcissistic traits. At my graduation she was running off everywhere, talking to everyone. When we wanted to get changed and have dinner she started yelling at my dad and blaming him for not getting enough photos because he had back pain and left early. There are photos of my dad, my sisters and I, however few with her because she was busy running off. She also couldn't find the place we were having dinner at, despite our numerous calls and offers to drive her there. When she finally arrived, she wasn't getting attention and sat out on the sidewalk. Then she randomly found two Brazilian girls and said they were her friends, and she met them because she was an international traveller. The last time she travelled outside of the country was in 2004. She's also started many 'businesses' and is 'academic' and now that I've graduated uni she keeps talking about doing a PhD, despite the fact she's only ever completed a diploma. Basically, she embodies everything that is the opposite of her own mother and is proud of that. So again, I wonder, is it possible that a narcissist would rebel against stereotypical ideologies and find narc supply in that?
My narc sister used her "trained seal daughter" to keep in "touch" with me thru feigned concern or love. The daughter is a phony sweet talking zombie who I finally insulted permanently, thank goodness.
,
It sounds like your describing a victim of narcissism rather than the assailant.
White people in general.
gee…. i think i'm a Narcissist.. i'm non religious though
Narcissitic torus, one word or two please? So accurate the descriptions. Thank you so much for putting this into words!
Hello Sam I just found out that I was raised by a narcissistic mother and she put me out at 20 and then I met a supposed family neighborhood mentor and at this point in time I've been his caregiver for 13 years and he is the most dangerous narcissist. I've ever been around and literally it's like being in a Cult of narcissist and I'm a prisoner. From 26 to my late 30's now, after 13 years he just walked out in July and now he's stalking me and my mother who is the narcissist has been in contact with him. I believe that they have been plotting against my Life since I was 23y.o. I have nowhere to move, family, friends or associates and EVERYONE in they know, knows where I live. Is there a protection program for ppl who have suffered from psychological, emotional &physical abuse from Narcissist their ENTIRE LIFE. Do I have a chance for a healthy life or am I permanently damaged? i deeply would appreciate some source for extreme cases
-Sat Nam, Ki
luv you Sam,you saved me and taught me well. I can securely saw,never again! =}
The narcissist's inner landscape: a barren wasteland.
Narcissists FEEL NO REMORSE WHILE YOU WITHER!! VENOM-LIKE, lost all remorse, they feel no guilt, THEY'RE BUILDING A PERSONA AROUND YOU, A LONGTERM PERSONA THEY GLUE ON YOU, they are actively BREEDING you for future abuse (see definition "gaslighting"). THEY'LL SAY WORDS LIKE "don't be a drama queen" TO CAUSE YOU ALLOW THEIR FUTURE HARMING YOU
THEY WILL SAY WORDS LIKE "don't be a drama queen" TO CAUSE YOU ALLOW THEIR FUTURE HARMING YOU. A narcissist actively "breeds you for future abuse" "breeds you for future harm by thicker skin on you, when THEY should have thicker MORALITY, but instead THEIR UNCARING CONSCIENCE leads to their saying YOU should have thicker skin, so they are breeding you for future abuse, they are BREEDING you for future abuse")
They change you into a whipping boy/whipping girl, wrapping a new persona around you, when they talk to others, AND EVEN TO YOUR FACE (even to your face, EVEN TO YOUR FACE they "re-write history" TO CHANGE YOUR MEMORIES (they are ACTUALLY TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR MEMORIES, very serious at court, very serious at court if you remember a man was innocent when he was actually guilty; battered-mate syndrome, battered-neighbor syndrome)).
NO JOKE, A MECHANISM YOU CAN WATCH, take the time to "watch" and "observe" ("watch and observe") TO BUILD IMMUNITY AGAINST YOUR NEW EXPERIENCE AT A VERY SERIOUS PERSONALITY DISORDER.
THEY'RE BUILDING A PERSONA AROUND YOU, A LONGTERM PERSONA THEY GLUE ON YOU TO CAUSE YOU ALLOW THEIR FUTURE HARMING YOU.
ARE YOU READING CAREFULLY? The simple process, a very simple process, "let's prevent repeating a failure" THEY CONSIDER A NON-FAILURE, they are BUILDING A PERSONA AROUND YOU, telling others your senses "cannot be trusted" (since they can "do no wrong" then "preventing horrible failures" is impossible while they're BREEDING YOU for future repetitions, as they say "get thicker skin" and they say "lessen the significance" "don't be a drama queen" yet you know the truth is, TO PREVENT FAILURE ONE MUST TEMPORARILY "increase significance" and "increase significance" to create a new habit of preventing failure, THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF "decrease significance of the failure")
THEY'RE BUILDING A PERSONA AROUND YOU, A LONGTERM PERSONA THEY GLUE ON YOU TO CAUSE YOU ALLOW THEIR FUTURE HARMING YOU
Since they hallucinate "they can do no wrong" THEY SAY YOU'RE HALLUCINATING while THEY'RE the ones hallucinating "can do no wrong" (so, they are building MEMORIES into you, VERY SCARY, very scary, they are building MEMORIES INTO YOU of "they can do no wrong" in their own eyes, they are BUILDING A PERSONA AROUND YOU, of your being the failure, and they can do no wrong, VERY SPOOKY, they are changing your memories to "YOU failed, THEY can do no wrong" and they tell others "your senses cannot be trusted" (VERY SPOOKY SLANDER SNEAKS UP ON YOU DURING YOUR TIMES OF NEED, NOBODY WILL BE YOUR FRIEND, AT THE PERSONA WHICH WAS BUILT AROUND YOU))
THE NARCISSIST INSISTS YOU DEVELOP WHAT THEY CALL "thicker skin" (they expect you allow future humiliation, so they say "get thicker skin" SO THEY ARE BREEDING YOU FOR FUTURE ABUSE)
THEY WILL SAY WORDS LIKE "don't be a drama queen" TO CAUSE YOU ALLOW THEIR FUTURE HARMING YOU
THEY WILL SAY WORDS LIKE "get thicker skin" TO CAUSE YOU ALLOW THEIR FUTURE HARMING YOU/HUMILIATING YOU so they can feel "normal" when all the failures are shifted to you, EVEN WHEN THEY FAIL, THEY TAKE CREDIT FOR YOUR EFFORTS while you wear their flaws. THEY DON YOUR INNOCENCE LIKE A SECOND SKIN, so to the neighbors you are the guilty one while the narcissist is "wearing" your innocent face and you endure the accusations in the eyes of everyone.
They change you into a whipping boy/whipping girl, wrapping a new persona around you, when they talk to others, AND EVEN TO YOUR FACE, EVEN TO YOUR FACE THEY "re-write history" TO CHANGE YOUR MEMORIES (very serious at court, if you remember a man was innocent when he was actually guilty; battered-mate syndrome, battered-neighbor syndrome).
ARE YOU READING CAREFULLY? THEY ARE CREATING A NEW PERSONA IN YOU, SO YOU CAN BE WHIPPING BOY OR WHIPPING GIRL (feeding their ego from your humiliations) especially when they say "have thicker skin" "don't be a drama queen"
YOU MUST MUST MUST READ DEFINITION OF "gaslighting" "re-writing history even though you were at the same room" "re-writing history to RE-WRITE YOUR MEMORIES to support their fantasy self-image," they will LIE TO YOUR FACE AND RE-WRITE HISTORY even though you were at the same room with them at the history they try re-writing (deception is merely the tip of the iceberg, THEY ARE BUILDING A PERSONA AROUND YOU, A LONGTERM PERSONA THEY GLUE ON YOU WHEN THEY TALK TO OTHERS, when not even you! (see definition "gaslighting"))
CAMOUFLAGE HURTFUL BEHAVIOR OF THEIRS (since they believe they can do no wrong, they say "don't be a drama queen" and since they believe they can do no wrong, they say "you need thicker skin" TO CAUSE YOU BECOME THEIR PERFECT EGO-BOOST AS THEY RIDICULE YOU AND THEY EXPECT YOU DEVELOP THICKER SKIN TO BE THEIR WHIPPING BOY, routine target of humiliation AND THEY WISH YOU HAVE THICKER SKIN, AN ONGOING BATTERY FOR THEIR EGO)
They accuse you like you EARNED their failing you, "normal levels" of caring they consider, while to you is DRAINING YOU OF ALL SANITY AT THEIR ABSENT REMORSE/NEVER FEELING GUILTY.
YOU ARE HARMED LONG BEFORE YOU PART WAYS, you become cold-hearted yourself to prevent believing the narcissist's accusations! NO JOKE, A MECHANISM YOU CAN WATCH, take the time to "watch" and "observe" TO BUILD UP AN IMMUNITY AGAINST YOUR NEW EXPERIENCE AT A VERY SERIOUS PERSONALITY DISORDER.
OBSERVE, RATHER THAN ABSORB, OR YOU WILL BECOME ENTRANCED/HYPNOTIZED INTO LONGTERM ABUSE ENDURANCE.
The NARCISSIST INFLATED SELF-IMAGE cannot handle genuine human contact. What you consider "normal self-assessment to prevent repeated harms" you consider is very easy, having a conscience you find is very easy, "let's prevent repeating mistakes" THEY WILL ATTACK LIKE ACID ON THEIR SKIN SINCE THEY BELIEVE "THEY CAN DO NO WRONG"
ONLY PSYCHOPATHS SAY "no wrongness in the universe"
BE HORRIFIED, BE SCARED, BE VERY AFRAID WHEN YOU HEAR SOMEONE SAY "no wrongness in the universe" while you're in very obvious pain! While you're in very obvious pain, they'll say "no wrongness in the universe"!
HOW PSYCHO!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE IN DENIAL IF YOU BELIEVE NON-PSYCHO IS YOUR OBVIOUS PAIN WHILE YOU HEAR "no wrongness in the universe" as if they can do no wrong.
YOU MUST MUST MUST READ DEFINITION OF "gaslighting" "re-writing history even though you were at the same room" "re-writing history to RE-WRITE YOUR MEMORIES to support their fantasy self-image," they will LIE TO YOUR FACE AND RE-WRITE HISTORY even though you were at the same room with them at the history they try re-writing (deception is merely the tip of the iceberg, THEY ARE BUILDING A PERSONA AROUND YOU, A LONGTERM PERSONA THEY GLUE ON YOU WHEN THEY TALK TO OTHERS, when not even you! (see definition "gaslighting"))
THEY ARE BUILDING A PERSONA AROUND YOU, A LONGTERM PERSONA THEY GLUE ON YOU WHEN THEY TALK TO OTHERS, when not even you! (see definition "gaslighting")
For example: If you refuse "perjuring yourself at court to support their fantasy" THEY HATE YOU AND ATTACK YOU SINCE YOU FAILED SUPPORTING THEIR FANTASY SELF-IMAGE, so they will "re-write history" TO DESTROY YOU MERELY AT THEIR "self-image"
You feel like you need witnesses 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, at their inflated self-image, you feel like you need a tape recorder, at their inflated self-image re-writing history all the time (see definition "gaslighting," "re-writing history even when you were at the same room at the history they are re-writing")
EVIL-SEEMING OF THE MOST HUGE PARANOID SORT (narcissists fear genuine human contact, they re-write history SINCE THEY FEAR REALITY VERY MUCH, LIKE ACID ON THEIR SKIN, what you call "normal self-assessment, have a guilty conscience, HAVE A CONSCIENCE" they consider like acid on their skin so you will feel A LOT OF PAIN SNUCK UP ON YOU, the more caring you are, the more loving you are, THE MORE PAINFUL THE EXPERIENCE WATCHING SOMEONE WITHOUT A CONSCIENCE, WITHOUT REMORSE "re-writing history" ACCUSING YOU OF EARNING THEIR FAILURES.)
YOU ARE HARMED LONG BEFORE YOU PART WAYS, since they'd have to face their actual value, at NARCISSIST INFLATED SELF-IMAGE they cannot handle genuine human contact. They will ATTACK ANY ROUTINE GLANCE AT THEMSELVES. What you consider "normal self-assessment" THEY WILL ATTACK LIKE ACID ON THEIR SKIN.
They will look you in the eyes and say the most BLOOD-BOILING WORDS to cause you behave their fantasy way when others are around, and so IF DIVORCING A NARCISSIST (if divorcing or breaking a partnership apart even at work), DEFINITELY HAVE A THIRD PARTY OR VIDEO OR BOTH since the liar narcissist may accuse you "bribed" the third party, WILL SAY THE MOST ASTOUNDING WORDS SEEMING A PATHOLOGIC LIAR to control control control control nearly like a SWEATSHOP and will DESTROY YOUR INDEPENDENT MEANS so they can keep you at your most vulnerable, at your MOST VULNERABLE returning to them, like they invested time and effort WHEN YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE INVESTING TIME AND EFFORT, when you are caring, THEY SNUCK UP ON YOU, you cannot believe someone so evil exists PURPOSEFULLY.
A YouTube user at the Faith Rose profile (posted a video, also a totally different user at YouTube, SpartanLifeCoach) ALSO WARNS ABOUT ACTUAL MARKERS, MARKERS TO SENSE/DETECT BEFORE YOU ARE HARMED./DESTROYED "of the narcissist who snuck into your life without your sensing them, since you are NICE AND LOVING AND NORMAL (a blindspot at anyone purposefully self-image-inflating at all costs, AT ANY COST, EVERY FAILURE MUST NEVER BE THEIR FAULT OR THEY WILL ACCUSE YOU INSTEAD)"
EEEEEERILY the same as my former partner's "persona" (you are the narcissist's DRUG/FIX and they will take all of your memories, too, you develop your own BAGGAGE EMOTIONALLY since you are CARING and your mind cannot wrap around ANYONE SO CRUEL/EVIL (actually they are paranoid, fearing genuine human contact, since popping their "overly inflated self-image")).
See definitions, yes, the "malignant narcissist" DOES carry a second personality disorder (paranoia). NARCISSISM IS NO JOKE. ANY PERSONALITY DISORDER IS EXTREMELY SERIOUS, REQUIRES BEING IDENTIFIED AND MEASURED. BE VERY CAREFUL, WHEN YOU TELL A NARCISSIST WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED OR YOU WILL GET THE "death stare" OF THEIR COMMUNICATING EVIL IS ON THE WAY. Personality disorders are NO JOKE, NOT-TO-BE-TRIFLED WITH. The only problem is, you'll doubt you're near a narcissist until SO VERY LATE YOU'LL NEED HEALING TIME. They come to you when you're most vulnerable, and do the most HORRIBLE activities preying upon your compassions, you'll think they're senile or feeble or something, while in their world they're SLANDERING YOU TO EVERYONE FOR YOUR FEEDING THEIR EGO-FIX, YOU ARE EGO-SUPPLY LIKE THEIR AIR TO THEM (ego is like air to them, a need for ego, they are in denial at failures SO BADLY THEY EVEN ACCUSE YOU to prevent ALL self-assessment), you'll have no independent relationships, since they need YOU LIKE A HUMAN SHIELD AT ANY OF THEIR FAILURES, you are privately ostracized while they even take credit for YOUR efforts.
They take credit for your accomplishments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO DAMNED SCARY, THEY ASSUME YOUR IDENTITY, THEY CONGRATULATE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS LIKE THEY DID THE EFFORT, but yet their accusations against you IS WHERE YOU ARE TO LOOK LIKE THEM, WHILE THEY STEAL YOUR IDENTITY OF INNOCENCE/THEY TAKE CREDIT FOR YOUR EFFORTS WHILE THEY ACCUSE YOU OF THEIR FAILURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you catch their "doing wrong" YOU WILL BE ACCUSED OF THEIR OWN FLAWS, while they "don" (wear) your innocence like a second skin for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NARCISSISM IS NO JOKE. Any full-blown personality disorder is QUITE SERIOUS and requires "naming" in order to reach the "miraculously simple routine for eliminating their disorder from your life.".THEY ARE CHANGING YOU, THEY ARE CHANGING WHO YOU ARE. The longterm memories can cause you "hate anyone disabled" WHEN THEY WEREN'T EVEN DISABLED (your private perception of whom they are, while to others they are slandering you, you are their EGO SOURCE FOR OUTRAGEOUS SUPPORT FROM YOU, THEY WISH YOU CHEER THEIR EXTREMELY DARK PERCEPTIONS/THEIR FIX/THEIR DRUG.
If you refuse "perjuring yourself at court to support their fantasy" THEY HATE YOU AND ATTACK YOU SINCE YOU FAILED SUPPORTING THEIR FANTASY SELF-IMAGE even at the most serious "places of honesty" you will see their fantasy self-image being viciously protected, VICIOUSLY for merely self-image (for MERELY self-image).
A YouTube user at Faith Rose profile (and a different user at SpartanLifeCoach) have measured the narcissist, feels like they both write about a male I know. I watched the video and read the words (above and below) and the YouTube user at Faith Rose profile (and the totally different YouTube user at SpartanLifeCoach) could be describing a male I know (but they aren't, they're BOTH describing a very risk-filled self-nuking behavior ("narcissist")). They go to ANY EXTREMES to get the emotions they expect for themselves, even the most BOLD abuse (one comment, " If you have to divorce, then make sure you pay the extra for the third party to witness every meeting and phone call. If you can't afford a mediator, then meet in public and record meet. Preferably with video. I guarantee they more than likely won't want to speak if there is someone else there watching them.")
I see the need for routine in many circumstances in life and the organization of a working environment. I know some call centre people who thrived in their work when the call response policy was defined by invariable rules. Negotiation with callers was forbidden. Then, when the centre introduced a requirement for the workers to negotiate and use some emotional judgement, some employees had to leave the job. Perhaps the same percentage as a well known personality disorder in the general public..
To live in this world without emotional inteligence and the ability to feel, be spontaneous and empathetic, does make routine essential. Some tasks in life require routine becase the emotional inteligence has been eliminated from the process. There is no window for innovation, spontaneous response or wise intervention. Emotional awareness is gagged and replaced by rules. I'm thinking just now of church routines on Sunday where everything is defined and rules applied and sanctioned with the threat of burning in hell. Perhaps a person with zero emotional adaptability would seek out an occupation in such a definite role with associated status and omnipotence as the local priest. On the other hand being a teacher in a public school would be a nightmare where every action and response requires the use of empathy and emotional choice.
The need for routine in life is inversely proportional to the emotional inteligence of the personality.
The strongest, most peaceful and rewarding relationships are those that offer mutual freedom and function strongly in spontaneous responce to all aspects of life. Rules and routines are introduced in the interest of safety, income necessity, and normal social responsibilities. They are also required to make life easier for the neighbours and associates who do not have these life skills. This explains the need to establish boundaries and rules in order to survive in a nut house.
My relationship today is based on spontaneous recognition of each other in all life's ups and downs. We have granted each other total freedom with trust and awareness of truth. We have enveloped this existence in an evironment where rules are replaced by spontaneous wisdom. This is the only place one can have dedication, freedom and true love. it is also the only way to experiance peace if one is gifted with natural emotional inteligence.
The boundaries and barriers in life that are the routines we endure, reach a peak as we are nailed into a box on our final day.
Very helpful video Sam. Perfect broad explanation that can apply to majority of cases.
I think you just described my significant other to a TEE.